I had spent the whole day teetering between unbearable anticipation and terrific guilt. The empty space above where breasts where Raoul's ring had hung mocked me. My fingers were used to flying to it a thousand times a day, as thought it were some holy talisman, as though Raoul's name could protect me from shadows. Only now I was stripped bare of succor, naked by the darkness inside of myself and the need for Erik's touch. I could not set my mind to anything. I spent the entire day flittering from one thing to the next, all the while a syllibant voice whispered in my head, "…I will come for you."
And when he came there was no choice. His voice sang from behind my mirror, "Night has come…" Faust's words and my soul thrilled to hear them.
I immediately answered with Marguerite's voice, "Oh silence, oh happiness, oh ineffable mystery! I am listening…"
The mirror slid back as his voice joined mine, "I know this solitary voice which sings, which sings into my heart…"
I went with him willingly, stepping over the threshold of my mirror into the dark world beyond.
I was immediately plunged into darkness. Erik took my hand and began to lead me through the inky blackness of the cellars. I stumbled along, brushing one hand against the stone-damp walls. There was not a sound but the whisper of my own feet moving along the rough stones and the drip-drip-drip of water growing louder as we neared the lake. Erik's feet made no noise as he guided me down that labyrinthine maze. He did not speak to me, or sing. If it were not for the warmth of his gloved hand in mine I would have thought a ghost was leading me. And still down, down we went until I felt him stop and then he was lifting me into the boat and I could hear the sound of water splashing on oars as we pushed off.
I looked around, my eyes straining against the darkness even as my ears heard every small sound in the stillness. The waves lapping along the hull, the creak of the oars, the whisper of movement as Erik rowed, and the boat finally bumping against the dock on the other side, all were deafening. I felt the boat rock as Erik stood and lifted me out and I waited for him to take my hand again. Instead I felt his hands brush against my hair and then something dropped in front of my eyes. I immediately lifted my hand to feel a silk kerchief tied around my head like a blindfold. I made to remove it but Erik's hands grasped mine and brought them back down to my sides in a gesture that clearly said "No.".
I could tell the moment I entered his house by the change of textures under my feet, soft carpet instead of rough stone. I could hear the crackling of the fire and smell the heady fragrance of cinnamon and roses. The vividness of the scent opened my senses and I gasped as Erik's hands came down on my shoulders. He pulled me into him, my back to his front, and spoke close to my ear.
"I find, Christine, that the absence of one sense will heighten all of the others." And as he said this one hand moved from my shoulder to trace the line of my jaw and down the length of my neck. The sudden richness of his voice, combined with that light caress, set my whole body trembling. I could hear him chuckle low in his throat before he released me. There was a whisper of cloth moving against skin. I waited, my whole body taut, for him to touch me again. But he did not. I could feel him moving to stand in front of me, could feel his eyes on me as my hands went to the fastenings at the front of my gown. One by one I undid the long row of buttons. I had left off wearing a corset or chemise and I could hear the gentle susurration of Erik's breath quicken as each inch of my flesh was revealed. Finally I could feel his trembling fingers batting away my own and his nimble fingers parted the fabric easily; pushing it off my shoulders and letting it tumble to the ground.
I heard his breath catch as he looked at me. I stretched out my hands until they met the silk of his shirt. I sighed at the feel of him, the reality and solidity of him. I ran my hands up his chest, fanning out my fingers to feel the bare flesh at his collar, his neck…The mask was jarring and I lifted it off and tossed it aside, letting my fingers skim the flesh of his face, learning the tortured lines, before descending again to that patch of skin above his collar. I wondered how it would taste and stepping into him, pressing my body along the length of his as my lips brushed the crisp hairs at his neckline. I heard him groan and I reveled in my power over him.
Being blind was strangely freeing; I did not have to see myself reflected in his eyes and so I was free to act without restraint. It was my hands that undressed him, my lips that moved over his, my tongue that first gained entrance to his mouth. I explored his mouth with abandon, delighting in the way his arms tightened around me and the low growl that came from his throat when I swiveled my hips just like that.
Erik groaned again and tore his mouth from mine. "Eternal night of love! Radiant sky, O sweet flames!" He sang the lines breathlessly as he led me into my room. I felt the back of the bed against my legs as he bore me down. "Silent happiness pours the heavens into our souls!"
And then he was pushing inside me. There was a pinprick of pain and I cried out. His arms held me tightly, his whole body shaking as he waited for the pain to subside. Then he moved again and I felt lost.
"Love, that brings us a passion always new!" I gasped against his lips, "To intoxicate us endlessly…"
My hips rose to meet his in a song older than time and I felt myself burning, building to a crescendo.
Erik's voice was beyond singing and he could only breath the words into my ear, "Oh silence, oh happiness, oh ineffable mystery!"
I felt out of control, floating, flying, and shaking with ecstasy as Erik's name rent my throat. And then the world spun away.
I fell asleep that night tucked into Erik's arms, his chin on my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear. There would be time enough for second thoughts and self-recrimination later. For now, I contented myself to relax into his warmth and go to sleep.
FIN
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A/N: Well gentle readers, that is the end of Anticipation. I am sorry it took me so long to deliver this last chapter but I hope you will be pleased to hear that there is a sequel, a one-shot entitled "No Backward Glances" that will be up sometime next week.
All the lyrics sung in this piece are from Gounod's Faust.
Now the sad news… my story, "Instruction to Darkness", is going away for a while. I am deeply sorry to all of those who read and reviewed it. The plot that I had originally planned was used by another author, and more beautifully than I could have ever created it (if you have not read Stitchgirl's truly amazing "Temperance" then shame on you!).
Never fear, dear readers, for where Cyrano taketh away she also giveth back. Behold! Perpetual Phantom is coming out of retirement! After some much needed polishing the story is back and, I hope, better than ever. You will all see it some time late next week. Please, all of you who are shaking your fists over the loss of ITD, give PP a chance. I promise you won't regret it.
Thank you to all who read and review. I am truly honored that you like my fic.
