i don't own prince of tennis (although i really wish i did)
3 Losing you
It's been a week since Ryoma kissed her and in that time she tried to either avoid him or ignore him, although that proved to be more difficult than she first thought, first of because they studied in the same class so they had to do most projects together as a team. Second, her friends idolized him and made little effort to notice that she was avoiding any subject concerning him and thus rambled continuously about Ryoma-sama, and last but probably most important detail Ryoma didn't like being ignored and made it a point to be as close to her as possible. She would have gone nuts if not for the work she had to do for her clubs and the fact that the day she would see if she was any good at photography was fast approaching made her worry enough to push back all other aspects including Ryoma.
Last summer she discovered that she really loved photography and wanted to get better. Unexpectedly she was faced with a lot of taboos concerning the fact that she was an outsider – her parents were from a different town- and more importantly most of her family members were well known sports figures. In order to surpass that handicap she had to work really hard and also go to a well known critic that was famous for his eccentricity. He gave her one chance; he wanted to see if she could show him 3 good pictures taken by her. If she couldn't than he would never speak to her again, but if she could than he will help her reach her full potential. And the meeting was this Saturday. She was feeling anxious and scared at the same time. Most of her pictures were landscapes and only some were with people she had found interesting, mostly children playing or old couples in love. They had to speak to her to tell her a story before she would take the picture. The ones she favored were those taken from high places. She would climb a newly started building in the dead of night and from there take all the pictures worth taking. Sometimes she climbed as high as the 40th level and sit there on the edge and just look. Other times she would walk around feeling the wind blowing past her, caressing her skin embracing her like a lover.
She loved heights, and maybe that was the reason why she now spent most of her brakes on the school roof. Today was no exception. Leaning down on the concrete roof listening to music as loud as she could closing her eyes to let all thoughts flee and letting the sun warm her body, this was perhaps the best part of her school day. She was always alone up here, except today, when a lone figure stared at her intently.
He watched her silently from a distance, observing every detail for further reference. The clothes she wore were casual yet they fitted her perfectly, a pair of blue jeans and a black button down shirt. It was lose on her figure but because she was lying down it meshed perfectly with her forms allowing him to see a slim waste and … for the first time in his life Fuji felt himself blush. Waiting until he was sure that he was back to his normal self he decided to make his presence known.
"You don't look so good." 'I can't believe I said that. I really didn't mean it that way.'
"And hearing it from you really helps buddy."
Fuji was surprised, he never heard her talk so baldly to anyone before. Not even her friends. His interest in her just grew exponentially right then.
"I mean you look troubled."
Opening her eyes to see who was, the guy pestering her she was taken aback when she saw a pair of blue eyes staring at her.
"Oh it was you Fuji sempai. Sorry, didn't mean to bite your head of like that."
"I'll forgive if you tell me what's troubling you."
"I just have a lot on my mind, with club activity and all"
"Yes I've heard that you're in the lit club are you in other clubs as well?"
"Yeah, the modern art club. Where did you hear that I was in the lit club?"
"Oishi. He keeps talking about you."
"…"
Snap
"Hey, why did you take that picture?"
"You should have seen the look on your face, it screamed shock. I had to take a picture or I would have regretted it."
"Do you always have a camera with you?"
"Don't you?"
"Yes."
As the two chatted the break away a third person was making his way towards them and when he saw them being so friendly Ryoma felt like he was about to explode. Every time they laughed he was closer to insanity, every time he would compliment her he felt like killing him, and then the final blow to his heart was delivered by an unaware girl that made him unreasonably mad at times.
"God I love this song."
"What song"
"Here listen"
Leaning closer to him so that she could give him the head set, she leaned on him for support unaware that she had an audience and of how that looked to a strangers eye.
She sang quietly the melody mostly out of habit and because she knew al of the words from the song.
Bounce baby out the door
I ain't gonna take this no more
Bounce baby out the door
Get up and move
Don't make me act a fool
Just bounce
As she said the last verse from the song she made a flicking move with her hand as if shooing a fly away, right in the direction where Ryoma was staying and watching her. That made his heart throb in pain and deciding that he could take no more he got up and left. He felt like his heart had been tore to shreds and he knew it was all His fault.
'What did you expect? You never told her how you feel, did you really think that she would wait for you. But she does have feelings about me. If she wouldn't she wouldn't have kissed me the way she did. What are you talking about? You almost forced her to kiss you. And you always left afterwards, so are you really that surprised that she got over you? Did she really? How can I be sure? You could always ask her. Than that's what I'll do.'
For once he was happy that Tezuka made him run laps for being late. This way he could cool down a bit before talking to her.
Back on the roof Fuji and Sakuno were laughing hard because of a story the former told her. They seemed to be perfectly comfortable in each others presence and for the first time in ages Fuji felt at ease without his mask on.
'I don't know why but I feel like I don't have to pretend around you, like I can be sad or happy or show any kind of emotion and not be considered weak. Maybe it's because you actually listen to what I say.'
"Hey would you like to come to a place I love this Saturday?"
"I'd love to but Saturday I have to meet someone"
"Oh… I understand."
"No you don't."
"…"
"I'm going to see if I can realize my dream or not."
And so she told him everything that happened that summer and she was surprised that she felt so comfortable around him. Like she used to feel with Tomoko.
"Thanks for listening Fuji you're a great friend."
"Well I'm sure you'll do fine, but please call me when you get an answer and I'll take you out for a victory dinner."
"Or an 'I lost so make me cheerful' one."
"Either way it works out nicely"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because I think you'd be a great friend and I want to be the same way. So friends should support one another."
"Thanks, I really do need a friend right now."
"I have to go now or Tezuka will make me run 100 laps. So see you on Saturday, and don't worry you can make your dreams come true."
"Bye"
She watched the boy leave and thought about what he said. It would be nice to have a friend. Since she tried not to talk about Ryoma, TomoKo and the others pushed her aside. It was like they belonged to different worlds now. It made her feel sad and lonely but now she hopped that she could find a friend in Fuji. It felt nice talking to someone about your problems or dreams.
'My dreams…"
When Fuji arrived at the tennis courts the practice was already half finished. That earned him the grand prize of 50 laps around the court from Tezuka. He wasn't mad though. It was his fault and so he paid the price, but he didn't regret it either. He was looking forward to this Saturday, for more than one reason.
When practice ended Kikumaru approached him asking for help with some subject.
"Sorry eiji but I can't this Saturday, if you want we can do it on Sunday."
"It's ok but why can't you do it on Saturday?"
"Yeah Fuji sempai. Is it a date?"
"As a matter of fact yes"
Everyone was shocked speechless, by the young prodigy's words. They had known Fuji for 4 years and not even once did he show the slightest interest in a girl, and now he calmly states that he's going out with one. It was almost to much for the boys too take. For all except Ryoma who suspected that the girl was none other than Sakuno.
'I have to go talk to her and soon. I can't lose her. I lov…. I just can't "
Without another word Ryoma took of to look for Sakuno.
"tomoko have you seen Sakuno?"
"She went home. Why? What do you want from her?"
"Nothing."
"Then leave her alone. You might think that I haven't noticed but I did. I don't know what you've done but you've hurt her. So please stop it. She's my best friend and I can't stand seeing her so sad. Just stay away from her."
"I can't"
"I knew you'd say that…" 'So he really does love her. I just hope he rights whatever he did wrong before it's too late. Sakuno's been sad lately and I have the feeling it's because of him, but she also became stronger and I have no doubt that although it hurts like hell she'll try and forget about him. I just wish she could talk to me about it.'
Ryoma left towards her house but when he got there he found no one. He waited for her until dark but when she didn't appear he decided to leave and talk to her tomorrow. Unfortunately for him she didn't show up the next day and worry began to consume him. He tried asking Tomoko but she didn't know either he than got mad when he heard Fuji talking to one of the teachers about her and explaining why she wasn't there. The excuse was lame but the teacher bought it. Ryoma on the other hand was loosing control. By the time practice started the aura that surrounded him was so dark that Kaidoh actually turned white. When he began playing he was ruthless. It was like a massacre on the courts.
"Hey, why is ryoma so scary?"
"Eiji sempai. It's your turn."
"I don't wanna. Ah Tezuka save me. I'll do laps, I'll even drink Inui's juice just keep him away from me."
"Ne buchou play with me."
At this Tezuka actually cringed. Ryoma was a worthy opponent when he was calm and collected, but now that he was upset –the understatement of the century- he was truly terrifying, and Tezuka had no desire of getting slaughtered literally.
"I think you've had enough training for today. Go change."
As soon as he was of the tennis court, a cry of joy could be heard by anyone in a 5 mile radius.
When he got home he tried calling her but no one answered. He even left her a message to call him back because he had something important to talk to her about.
But as he waited there was no call for him and he couldn't help the desperation creeping inside his heart.
Llama no importa la hora que yo estoy aquí
Entre las cuatro paredes de mi habitación
I es importante al menos decirte
Que esto de tu ausencia duele i tu no sabes cuanto
Just one phone call and he could be at ease. She could make this pain stop, he wanted to see her, to hold her tight in his arms and never let go. He closed his eyes trying to forget her but his mind only showed him images of her. How she used to laugh, or the way she blushed. How cute she looked when concentrating on something, or when she got mad, and how she used to make him laugh.
Ven aparécete, tan solo comunícate
Que cada hora es un golpe de desolación
Es demasiado aburrido no estar a tu lado
He felt his world crumbling around him and he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't sleep that night and the following day seemed to be in tone with his mood, dark and murky. But even the rain reminded him of her. She loved the rain, he once heard her say that she felt calm when it was raining. For him the only thing that soothed his soul was her. But she never knew that because he never told her, and now she was on a date with Fuji. He didn't know if his heart could take it much longer.
Ven que mi alma no quiere dejarte ir
Que los minutos me acechan, aquí todo es gris
Que alrededor todo es miedo y desesperanza
He felt alone, abandoned in the cold with nothing to cover his shivering soul. And he waited for her to call, to tell him that it was going to be all right. But she never called and he felt more and more depressed. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, his life was in shambles and he couldn't blame anyone but himself.
Ven que nunca imaginaba como era estar solo
Que no es nada fácil cuando te derrotan
Que no ce que hacer, y aquí no queda nada de nada
After another sleepless night he got out of bed and ready for school. His head was such a mess that he almost forgot his equipment. He just didn't care anymore. Today he would see her and know, if his life was worth leaving or not, if he had a chance of getting her back or if she had forgotten him. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't love him anymore, he never thought abut it before. It was like she was a part of him a vital part that he couldn't leave without.
'I guess I should have told her that sooner. Maybe if I told her how much I loved her she would have been here in my arms right now instead of feeling this unbearable cold.'
No me enseñaste como estar sin ti
I que le digo yo a este corazón
Si tu te has ido y todo lo perdí
Por donde empiezo si todo acabo
No me enseñaste como estar sin ti
Como olvidarte si nunca aprendí
He arrived at school early and he was surprised when she walked in. She was smiling, and her eyes were shinning like before. He noticed that for a while her eyes had lost some of their sparkle. Now they were bright and alive with joy. He felt his heart beginning to brake for he understood that she had forgotten him. He wanted everything the way it used to be. He wished he could go back and make things right. But he couldn't and seeing her was enough for him. She was like a drug for him but he wanted her to be happy, even if she won't be happy with him.
But he would always love her. No mater what he wouldn't forget how he felt.
Llama i devuélveme todo lo que un día fui
Esta locura te verte se vuelve obsesión
Cuando me invaden estos días tristes
Siempre recuerdo mi vida, yo como te amo
He began walking out of the school, he couldn't stay near her, not today. He loved her so much so why did she forget about him. Wondering the streets with no particular place to go he ended up at the park he and Sakuno came to play tennis at. Then he couldn't stop the tears trickling down his face nor could he stop the rage that filled him. Rage towards her for casting him aside, towards Fuji for taking her away but most of all towards himself for letting her go.
'So go after her.'
I've lost. It's no use
'Can you truly tell me that you can be without her?'
No
'Then fight for her.'
How?
'Tell her how you feel.'
It's too late.
'It's never too late.'
No me enseñaste como estar sin ti
I que le digo yo a este corazón
Si tu te has ido y todo lo perdí
Por donde empiezo si todo acabo
No me enseñaste como estar sin ti
Como olvidarte si nunca aprendí
'I'm sorry Sakuno, I know that my words might hurt you, and I know that I don't have the right to expect you to love me but I have to try, because I don't know how to live without you.'
