Ranma And The Beanstalk

By: Psuriko

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is still copyright of Rumiko Takahashi and I won't try or even think about making profits of it, same thing with the original fairy tale "Jack and the beanstalk".

Author's prenote: I may introduce new actors in the beginning before this chapter starts, during the various chapters of this fairy-tale. Other new characters won't be introduced before it's necessary.

Some parts of this story will probably follow the Jack and the beanstalk-version pretty closely, while other parts could be quite different(and I will probably make most of them VERY different. -o ).

The next part is slightly improved.

Explanations to certain figures:

O.o – means panic.

- means happy

-o - means sweatdrop.

V-V – means someone is sad/depressed

´ - means someone is really ticked off

. . . - means someone is thinking.

- means someone is doing something

BIG LETTERS - means someone is yelling or screaming

… - means someone is short of words

Insert word before- means author's noting something that needs explanation or comments

( )- means someone of the actors is mumbling

Insert soundeffect - When someone does something. For example Whack, somone is using a mallet to knockout something/someone

Introducing New Exclusive Casting to this chapter:

Lavos - as the destroyer of worlds (in this chapter it's a stronger version called Magmus).

Scene 16: Dude, this rocks!

Beep, beep

Ranma: Maybe we can salvage something from that APC.

Beep, beep!

Ranma: Aha! Chicken supplies and ammo.

BEEP, BEEP!

Soldier 5: I think you should answer the Comlink, commander.

Ranma: Ok,ok. I hear you, Roy and over!

In Sweden we had a program called Roy and Roger, this is where I got the idea.

Yami Yugi: What? I have to warn you for the improved tanks, NEO tanks!

We could only defeat a few of them. They are heading against our HQ!

Shampoo: I send Bombers next turn to pick you, Ranma.

Yami Bakura: Now the rain will fall upon the fields and I have many strong units out on

the field. Rocket- and Missile units in defense. Neo Tanks tagged along with

Fighters to attack. Charge as long as you can this turn my armada. Next turn

I'll crush their HQ and bomb the Red Carrot Squad. Then I can finally have the

Sen Nen pussle in my very own grasp.

Su-chan: This getting boring with this military stuff, I want some action! I wonder what

this card I borrowed from oniisan's "impossible for thieves to steal from"-

cardbox does?

I call upon thee "Magmus"? To enter the fray.

Come forth!

Su-chan: Suddenly the ground is rumbling under our friends.

Ranma-chan: Wwhhaatt iiss haaappennning?

Ryoga: Eaarthquaaakeee!

Soldier 4: Look, the bombers are coming to pick us up, commander and miss?

Captain Bazooka Joe where did Captain Red Carrot go?

Su-chan: The bombers landed.

Pilot: I didn't know that we had an commander that was a girl, except the Advisor.

But her red hair would explain why her troops are called "Red Carrot". -o

Ranma-chan: Stupid rain!

Ryoga: I knew that this pipe could be used to something good.

Ranma-chan: It's not an umbrella, it's a freakin weapon! V-V

Ryoga: My umbrella can be used as a weapon.

Ranma-chan: That is an exception-o Strange, the shadows are lifting.

Hey, what's that rocky thing doing in the middle of the battlefield!

Ryoga: I don't know either.

Shampoo: What are you doing Yami Bakura?

Yami Bakura: I didn't release that beast, but I have heard prophecies of this thing.

The end of both this game and the real world has come when this beast

appears. The best part is that it only obeys me, as you see it's the same

colour as my team. The worst part is, for you only. To make sure the world

isn't destroyed, you can only slay it in this VR game of advance wars. All other

attacks outside the game can't interfere this monster.

Attack the little flies Magmus!

Magmus: Rooooaaar! Throws molten rocks against the bombers.

Pilot: We lost contact with the other two bombers. There is only three left, us included.

Ryoga: What's that shining light in the horisont?

Pilot: That looks like one of our Rocket units.

Yami Yugi: This time you have done it for real Yami Bakura!

Super CO Power "Shadow Spears"

Psuriko's funny facts

Accessing archived data.

SCO Power Shadow Spears

Effect Highly increases Ballistic attacks' firepower and range.

Su-chan: Now it looks like it gets intresting. Whai for action-

The Rockets launches against Magmus in high speed and piereces it in the chest

and the left leg.

Magmus: Greeeaaah!

Yami Yugi: Gotcha!

Yami Bakura: Nooooooo! V-V

You can't seriously loose that easily against those little ants, Magmus!

Ranma-chan: Hey, who are you calling a bug´

Ryoga: Quiet! Look on that big rock.

Ranma-chan: Huh?

Su-chan: Magmus is starting to regenerate his wounds.

Yami Bakura: Ha! I knew Magmus could more than that.

Ranma-chan: Such confidence he got in a split second. ´

Ryoga: Prepare for the bombing and rocket's launch against that rocky dude!

Pilot: Yes, sir! Prepare all available units for all-out assault against the monster in two

minutes.

Su-chan: The minutes went on with the air and ballistic units' preparation for assault

against the beast magmus.

Pilot: We are ready to attack, commander and commanderess!

Scene 17: C.S.C

Ranma-chan: I'm a guy, gods dammit´

Ryoga: Fire at will on the monster!

Su-chan: And they did. Hurting it a lot. And Magmus counters with moltenlava bombs

everywhere on the battlefield.

Yami Bakura: You idiot! You are suppose to destroy the enemy, not my units. ´

Shampoo: Does this mean that we win-

Yami Bakura: No, I still have Magmus to boot up.

Destroy the enemy captains' and I have won for sure, to end this game.

: Thou thinkth thou haveth won already?

Yami Bakura: Hey, who are you? You're not even part of this game.

: My name art unimportant, but thou can call me Rikalur. Me prove this by finishing

this foul creature in next turn!

Ranma-chan: … Stupid name.

Yami Bakura: You can't stop me! Even the army in this game couldn't kill Magmos, only harm him. And that means that a single human can't win against this tank in one turn!

Rikalur: Thou think it would be impossible? Advisor, I need to ask thou a favor.

Shampoo: What black long-haired man with mask to conceal his true identity and with

long wodden stick want?

Rikalur: I need to borrow the energy of thou to finish this foul demon of mother earth

with full power.

Shampoo: How you borrow energy? It impossible Great grandmother always said.

Rikalur: Like this! Waves the wand infront of the giant Shampoo.

Su-chan: A sphere of energy envelops the staff of Rikalur.

Ranma-chan: Hey, why is that guy doing a goofy dance with his stick-o

Rikalur: Even if it is a long distance bewteen us, my fair miss redhair. I can hear you.

Ranma-chan: How could he hear? O.o

Yami Bakura: Time to end this silly dance of yours.

Magmus! Destroy the enemy captains!

Magmus: Graorh!

Su-chan: Magmus walks towards Rikalur and prepares to launch an attack against the

bombers.

Rikalur: This is the end.

Crimson! the energy is turning the staff purple.

Soul! the energy rages around the staff.

Crusher!

Psuriko's funny facts

Crimson Soul Crusher is a technique that the vampire Allliss uses in one of my unpublished stories. The technique was developed by Alliss the vampire to instead of sucking souls as she does instead of blood, the CSC is a reversed attack based upon soul-sucking.

In other words, originally it destroys the soul by impaling it with a energy spear engulfing the users hand to banish the living target to never exist in this life or in the afterlife Destroys the soul for all eternity, but it requires a lot of energy to execute.

Ranma-chan: What is he doing now?

Ryoga: It looks like he tries to impale the monster with a purple spear.

Su-chan: Rikalur impales the monster Magmus and it dissolves into thin blood-red air.

Magmus: Mrooahhhh!

Yami Bakura: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SERVANT!

Rikalur: Me haveth banuished Magmus with the Crimson Soul Crusher to be sure that he

doesn't get awaken once more in this or in the next life and be used by people like

thou.

Su-chan: The bombers landed after about one minute, close to where Magmus was

destroyed.

Ranma: Cool, I want to learn that move! Pictures that he hits the old geezer that have

tricked death more then once, with C.S.C. -

Rikalur: Few living creatures can learn this move, but no one can use it from this side of

death.

Ranma: V-V

Wait a minute… that means.

Su-chan: And before Ranma could finish the thought, Rikalur quickly said:

Rikalur: Me think that thou have been announced winner, since the Bakura have no army

left to fight with. -o

Su-chan: And Rikalur banishes Yami Bakura to a imprisoning pocket-dimension in Rah

Dingel for using corrupted army, aka Magmus and gives Ranma the Red Carrot

Seal.

-

Psuriko: Finally, I have finished watching NGE and in good enough mood to write another

chapter.

But first I have to check my "Hand of Fate cards" cardbox to see what to use next

in my stories. -

Su-chan: O.o

Psuriko: Hmm… Checks through card deck.

What! Where is my "destroyer of worlds"-card?

Su-chan do you know WHO STOLE MY CARD AND INTENDED TO DESTROY THE

WORLD WITHOUT MY PERMISSION´

Su-chan: Guilty! O.o Calm down, calm down act as I don't know what oniisan is talking

about.

I don't know where Magmus is. -o

Psuriko: … -o, No one except those who have seen the card know the name of the

destroyer of cards. In other words, YOU STOLE MY CARD AS YOU NORMALLY DO

WITH OTHER THINGS OF MY STUFF AND NOW YOU DID WITH MY

BURGLARPROVED BOX´

Su-chan: But now oniisan knows that it's not burglarproof, right oniisan-

Psuriko: … You got a point there.

Su-chan: One point to me, zero to oniisan. -

Psuriko: BUT IT'S NOT SU-CHAN-PROOF!

Su-chan: Blasted, first point to oniisan for a long time. O.o

Psuriko: You need to learn a lesson and that's through punishment.

For almost destroying the world (plus my fairy-tale).

I sentence you to… No sugar-filled sweets for a month!

Su-chan: You are cruel oniisan!

Psuriko: Wait, there is more! Picks up Su-chan.

Su-chan: Put me down!

Psuriko: Nope, and the bonus punishment is that you need to learn some manners as a

narrator and not to do bad things all the time. Hereby I banish you from "Ranma

and the Beanstalk" and sends you on a journey to learn being more good without

faking it.

Throws her into a machine resembeling a Chao transporter.

Su-chan: Nooooooo!

Psuriko: Bye, bye. -

Do you want to send this Oc on a journey and never return to this fanfic never again?

Y/N

Psuriko: Hm, tough question. Yes.

From now on, a normal narrator aka me will be the narrator instead of Su-chan

in this fanfic. -

-

Rikalur: Thee girl will be unconsious for awhile after having lent me her energy.

This will be your transport to the next level. Waves staff and a cloud appears.

Ranma: A cloud? You can't travel on clouds, airhead´

Rikalur: This is a cloud that can carry humans with a good heart.

Ranma: Sorry Ryoga, I think that you can't come with us. -

Ryoga:Why you! Tries to hit Ranma with the bazooka.

Narrator: And Rikalur forced Ranma (with Shampoo on his back) and Ryoga on the cloud.

,before some serious injuries would come

Ranma: Hey!

Narrator: And the cloud took them to a unfamilliar place.

Wham!

Ranma: Ouch, stupid cloud! Can't even evade a plain none moving sign. ´

Ryoga: It says "Welcome to the Championships in Budokai."

To be continued…

-

Behind the scenes.

Location: Author's room.

Psuriko: Finally I got rid of Su-chan in this fanfic. To my horror and others joy, Su-chan

will appear instead in other stories.

One thing that popped up in my mind, during watching Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Both Yugi and Bakura in YU-GI-OH must be faking that they gain more confidence

or become a thief, I mean a necklace can't do that. They only think that they can

do that stuff such taking other people's souls or dishing out punishments here

and there. With my theory, they would be classified as schizo.

And to prove that, I have borrowed Ryo Bakura's Millennium Ring.

Though, he said that I under NO circumstances are allowed to put on "the Ring".

But this would go against my own theory about them being schizo so.

Puts on the Millennium ring around the neck.

Bamf!

Yami Psuriko: Mwahahaha! Such foolish author not believing in the power of the

millennium items. Today I will take over and tomorrow the world!

Mwahaha. Runs out from the author's room onto the scene like a maniac.

Psuriko: Nooooooo!

Janitor 2: Hey, do you see that the author is acting different from the usual?

Janitor 1: Nope, he always runs around on the scene and other places, everytime he ,

have finished a hard chapter and didn't end up on hospital in aproximatley four

minutes.

Janitor 2: But he doesn't usually have that spikey hair-cut.

Janitor 1: Probably the girl-narrator that always around the author, suceeded once again

to fool the author by mixing the hairspray with glue, again. V-V

janitor 2: Aha, that would explain it. -

Janitro 1:You see that 13th plank from the left on scene that never will stop lean

upwards how many times the carpenter tries fix it?

Janitor 2: And what's your point?

Janitor 1: Looks on his pocketwatch.

The author will trip on that plank in 5-4-3-2-1. Now!

Pusriko: Can someone please stop him, before he uses my body to take over the world?

Yami Psuriko: Mwahaha, nothing can stop me from being king of the world!

Not even you Psuriko, trapped in your body with me as the controller.

What the…

Trips on the plank.

CRASH!

Janitor 2: Damn, He's like the train. On time like the 12.02-train!

The millennium ring flies throw the air and ends up hitting Psuriko's head.

Yami Psuriko: Noooo! I was so close to world-domination!

Psuriko: Ouch.

See, I said that nothing happens when you put on the ring!

Now I must go and take some aspirin for my headache. (And why do I feel dizzy

like I have run across on the scene in circles, several times and feel tired?

Worse is that I can't recall what have happened the last five minutes.) -o

-

Author: If you have read through my story it's time to RR and tell what you think about my story this far with VR battles and what you think the next challenge will be? From now on Su-chan will only appear in my other stories and never return to this fanfic ever again.