Ranma And The Beanstalk

By: Psuriko

Disclaimer: Ranma ni-bun-no-ichi is still copyright of Rumiko Takahashi and I will not try or think about making profits of it, same thing with the original fairy tale "Jack and the beanstalk".

Author's prenote: I may introduce new actors in the beginning before this chapter starts, aswell during the various chapters of this fairy-tale. Other new characters won't be introduced before it's necessary.

Aswell I am terribly sorry for not updating in months.

I will make this clear so no one will be sending reviews with "corrections".

I will be using the Swedish translation for each DB/DBZ-character.

Introducing new exclusive casting to this chapter:

Goku (DB) ------------------------- As himself

Kuririn/Krillin (DB)-----------------As himself

Tenshinhan/Tien (DB) ------------ As himself

Chao-zu/Chiaotzu (DB) ----------- As himself

Kamesennin/ Master Roshi (DB)--As himself

Mr. Satan/ Hercule (DBZ) ---------As himself

Yamchu/Yamcha (DB) -------------As himself

Jackie Chun (DB) -------------------Who is this guy anyway... '

Scene 18: Budokai!

Ranma: Stupid cloud! Even Ryoga could have avoided that sign, with his bad sense direction.

Right, porker?

Ryoga: Ranma, YOU!...

Fat man: Hey! Are you going to participate in the Martial arts-championships called Budokai?

Narrator: And before Ryoga could land his punch intended to punish Ranma, Ranma had already

jumped straight to the little fat man with glasses.

Ranma: Where do I sign!

Ryoga: Falls over after missing the landing place of his punch.

Fat man: Slow down now, young man. To be able to participate in the "Budokai", first you need

to register and then you need to show what you got by punching the Strength testing

machine. If you get lower then the measurement 200, you will qualify in the "Under

League" for less skilled martial artists. But if you hit over 200... You will be qualified to

meet the real masters of martial arts... And maybe even qualify to challenge the grand

Mr Satan.

Ranma: But why two championships?

Fat man: Attracts more visistors.

Ranma and Ryoga fall over.

Ryoga: But, hey! What does the devil have to do with budokai?

Fat man: Devil? No,no Mr. Satan is a grand man that saved our planet from the dreaded Cell.

Ranma: (This guy is nuts, since when can amoebas take over a planet?)

Narrator: The fat man pointed to the place where to register and suggested that the lavender-

haired girl should be leaved at the make shift-hospital beside the battle arena.

Ranma: Time to win this tournament!

Narrator: Looked at the strange looking machine that resembling a

punching bag and threw one of his lightning fast strikes.

Fat man 3: Incredible! 310! It's a lot stronger then even Mr. Satan...

Narrator: Many martial artists were in line to show their strenght, including a kid with a monkey

tail.

Ryoga: Now it's finally my tur...

Narrator: And suddenly a cat escaped its owner's cluching arms.

Ranma: Ca, ca, CAT!

Narrator: Ranma jumps towards Ryoga's direction, when he was going for the punch and...

disrupted.

Bonk

Fat man 3: 190! Amazing!

Ryoga: ... Please can I try again?

Fat man 3: Nope, one punch per contestant! Here is your registration-card , nr 68.

Narrator: Ryoga started to shiver and...

Ryoga: Ranma!

Ranma: O.o

Narrator: And Ranma was knocked to the other side of the close-by arena where two familiar

faces were.

Monkey boy: He sure got juice in his punch.

Bald boy: He will be a tough opponent, but remember. We are from the turtle-school.

Narrator: Soon all contestants have registered and tested their strength on the punching-machine.

And the qualifying battles have started!

Ryoga: Curses! Where is that battle hall nr. 5 I was suppose to start in...

Narrator: Well, almost everyone. -

Ranma: Wonder where Ryoga went this time? Oh well, he would probably come soon...

Narrator: Since Ranma didn't have anything to do now, he decided to look on other matches.

Ranma: OK, I think the tower is getting a bit bizarre right now. No one with the sanity intact would wear a monkeytail in combat.

Narrator: The judge of Ryoga's match is starting to get a bit frusrated now, let's see where our

lost hero is?

Referee: Hey, you! Were you one of them that was suppose to fight in the under group of the

martial arts contest?

Ryoga: Huh?

Narrator: Ryoga thought for awhile and dug through his pockets to find the registration-card.

Ryoga: Here.

Narrator: The referee looked on the card's number and pointed in the direction where Ryoga was

suppose be right now. Ryoga rushed to the battle hall as the referee for the maych was

suppose to go.

Referee: Sigh, looks like the opponent won't show and the match will become a walkover.

Crocodillus: I don't mind. That guy must have been a wimp and decided that he wasn't strong enough to face me.

Narrator: And as of cue Ryoga showed up and used his "flying punch"

Ryoga: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Narrator: The punch sent the opponent flying right into the nearby wall.

Referee: Are you contestant nr. 68?

Ryoga: Yeah, how come?

Referee: Congratulations! You won your first match with a "ring out"!

Ranma: You took your time Ryoga, got lost once again?

Ryoga: Ranma!

Narrator: After Ryoga pummeled Ranma, the rest of the battles was easy until the quarterfinals…

Referee: And now we will draw the balls to determine who will meet who in these matches to

finally declare a champion in the underleague!

And in the first match we have ball nr…

Tenshinhan: Chao-zu! Make it that the strongest in the turtle school gets to be in the first match.

Narrator: And Chao-zu makes the ball that the referee takes is Yamchuu's ball.

Referee: In the first match we have… Yamchu!

And who will meet him?

Tenshinhan: I take him and you take that Goku-kid since he doesn't seem to be very clever. You don't need to care a bout the rest of the balls.

Narrator: As ordered, Chao-zu arranges the balls and the matches looks like this:

First round: Tenshinhan vs Yamchuu.

Second round: Kuririn vs Jackie Chun

Third round: Chao-zu vs Goku

Fourth round: Panputto vs Ryoga

Referee: May Tenshinhan and Yamchu enter the arena?

Narrator: The arena was located open freely so many visitors could stand around and look at the

match.

Tenshinhan: I am going to trash you the name of the crane school!

Yamchu: No, I am going to dump you by the force of the turtle school.

Narrator: The match went on even with the contestents delivering blow after blow that countered

the other.

Yamchuu: Darn! If I don't use my trumphcard now, I don't think I can put this up much longer.

Narrator: The former bandit went into a trademarked Dragonball stance.

Tenshinhan: Ha, no matter what you are trying to do will help survive intact in this match.

Narrator: And Yamchuu chanted the words every boy and girl should do in crowd.

Yamchuu:KAME-HAME-HA!

Narrator: A yellow ball of energy was formed in Yamchuu's hands and went fast towards our

three eyed villain. Tenshinhan quickly made some strange moves with his hands that

could probably make most people having five knots on their fingers.

The energyball went fast towards Tenshin and when it was about to hit him, he howled:

Tenshinhan: Moo!

Narrator: After the strangen choice of words, the ball of energy vanished into thin air.

Yamchuu: How.. could he parry that attack?

Tenshinhan: And for the encore, KAME-HAME-HA!

Narrator: "Unexpected", Tenshinhan copied the now not-so-trademark-protected attack and used

it against the other user… Yamchuu. The former bandit barely evaded the unexpected

attack.

Yamchuu: How could he learn that move so fast? I had to train atleast 4 months with running

with milk in a danergous to learn it.

Narrtor: Not did he have the time to think about this as tenshinhan lightningfast went towards

Yamchuuu, punched him with a force that could break eleven of Yamchuu's ribs, luckily

he only eight. '

Referee: Aaaaaand the winnner by overcruelty iiiis… Tenshinhan, oh and can someone call a

medic to the other contestant?

Narrator: After the medics comes to get the massacred Yamchuu, the second pair Kuririn and

Jackie Chun!

Referee: Ladies and gentlemen, this will be a battle between generations! And try not to be so

over-violent this time, please?

Narrator: Even if Kuririn fought hard, ol' jackie was just to much for him and Jackie chun went

to the next phase.

Referee: This was a juste match that didn't end up as a violent case. Now we welcome the next

Couple: Chao-zu aaand Goku, the little kid with the de-tailed battle record from

previous tournament.

cellphone rings

Referee: Yes? Uh-huh. Ok. Sorry folks but that little atempt to make a joke isn't aloud so here

starts the next match.

Narrator: As the fights starts off, Goku starts with a running punsch and as the pale little kid with

only a hairstraw can do: Dodge by floating high into air.

Goku: Hey! That was a cheap trick, flying into air.

Narrator: The monkey boy said, and as a reply, Chao-zu replies by pulling his tongue. Goku runs

towards the floating Chao-zu and jumps at him ready to do the Turtle hermit-move.

Goku: KAME-HAME…

Chao-zu: You… can't take me with that move.

Narrator: Chao-zu expected that Goku would use the energyball at him but…

Goku: Ha!

Narrator: Goku turns around and fires the energyball into thin air and by the repulsion, gets a

superior air speed and knocks Chao-zu out of the ring.

Referee: Aaaand the victory goes to Goku!

Narrator: The crowds roars and next starts the fourth quarterfinal: Panputto vs Ryoga.

Ryoga: Blasted! They said the arena was around the corner.

Narrator: What the eternal lost boy didn't know was that he had already found his way to the

battle ground.

Panputto: Hey, you fangboy! If your tracking skill is as bad as your combat skill, this will be a

cake walk.

Narrator: The now over-confident fighter with many championship victories in sack, lsunched a

quick punsch towards Ryoga to finish this battle fast.

Ryoga: I don't know who you are, but no one me fangboy without appropriate punishment!

Narrator: Panputto's punch hit Ryoga's fist as he launched the now over-confident and

airborned fighter high into the sky and dropped outside bounds…

Referee: Ehm… are you the contestant Ryoga Hibiki?

Ryoga: Yeah, how come?

Refree: Dear ladies and gentlemen, it seems like the match was over before it started. The winner

is Ryoga Hibiki by knock-out!

Narrator: The following matches continues like this until the final round:

Ryoga versus Tenshinhan.

Tenshinhan: Now that everyone is defeated, you are the last obstacle to win this tournament.

Ryoga: I mustn't loose this match, for Akane.

Tenshinhan: I want to finish this match early for that teaparty this afternoon, loose!

Narrator: Quickly he launched a flurry of fast fists. Ryoga barely dodged most of the attacks, but

the final attack hit a vital part: his left arm that was cut off by the blow.

Ryoga: Ahhh! This isn't good.

Tenshinhan: Now prepare mto meet your maker!

Narrator: Ryoga couldn't do much now with only one hand except to buy time.

Ryoga: Bakkusai Tenketsu!

Narrator: Tenshinhan dodged the shrapnels that flung out from the arena that Ryogas right

Indexfinger created.

Ryoga: Shishi Hokodan!

Narrator: He roared as he created a ball of solide air fuled by his now quite heavy sense. Tenshinhan parried by his newly aquired and copied move the Kame-hame-ha!

Tenshinhan: It looked similar like the technique I took from that Yamchuu, but this move felt

different, like despair…. I will crush you with the Four fist technique!

Narrator: Tenshinhan started to build up the required energy to execute his double trouble

technique. Meanwhile, Ryoga have lost quite some blood now with the cut off hand and

were about to lose conscious.

Ryoga: I can the light in the end of the tunnel..

Narrator: He thought while drifting towards the heaven. But as he looked back, Ryoga saw

something disturbing: Ranma who finally saves Akane from this wretched tower and

were smooching. O.o

Ryoga: Never!

Narrator: The bandannaboy roared and a beam of negative energy erupted from him while

Tenshinhan now running towards him with four hands. The Perfect Shishi hokodan

dived towards the source and forced Tenshinhan onto the floor.

Tenshin: Damn! Where did he get that energy from, he was about loose.

Narrator: Ryoga was still in the world between life and death as he saw even more horrible

events: Akane marries Ranma. 2x O.o

Ryoga: I will not tolerate this! Ranma! You will never rescue sweet Akane. That is what I'm

going to do!

Narrator: Once again Ryoga releases all his despair to form a perfect Shishi hokodan that

destroys the arena, aswell as it knocks Tenshinhan unconscious before Ryoga looses his

consciuos due the lack of much needed Blood.

To be continued

Behind the scenes------------------------------------

Suriko: Finally I could complete this chapter and take a cup of hot chocolate.

The door knocks.

Suriko: Erhm.. Who could that be? I haven't ordered a pizza at this hour.

Before the author could open the door, a bunch of boys rushes into the room, dressed in martial

arts costumes that resembles cosplay.

Db1: You moron! No way that Tien would loose to a looser like that Ryoga-guy.

Db2: Right bro! Tien would never loose to a piglet!

Db3: We must punish him for staining dragonball, the best anime eva'!

(Said the guy with a T-shirt that says: Vote King Cold for president in U.S! We want you!)

Db2: Eat kame-hame-ha, lousy author!

The dragon ball fan tries to do a kamehameha with his moves and with help of the kamehameha blaster bought on Ebay for 29,90 dollars

Db2: Hey! They said it would be able to tear apart humans with this.

Db3: Knock it off man. We can still break his bones.

They continued to discuss what they ought to do with the author as tries to sneak away.

Suriko: Don't worry about me, just stand there and let me get some instant noodle(but instead, I

use the opportunity to escape)

Db 1,2,3: Hey! We are not through with you just yet!

They trashed the author in a awkward style that would resemble something from a Dbz scene and leaved with a threatning message:

Db 1,2,3: If you screws up the next time you use Dragon ball, we will bring the rabid dbz-gals!

Suriko: Ok, now I need recover some sleep(and broken ribs).

The door flungs open and a massive hoard of girls rushes into the author's room.

Ryoga fangirls: HOW DARE YOU HURT OUR BELOVED RYOGA, YOU FIEND!

Suriko: But….

The fellow didn't have time to defend himself as the hoard of fangirls rushed over and as the scene is quite bloody for the younger audience and the censorship doesn't approve this scene, it will be rewinded five minutes forward, after the brutal scene.

Ryoga fangirls: NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO HURT OUR RYO-CHAN, YOU WON'T GET AWAY THAT EASY!

Hoard of girls runs from room to their daily "talk-about-Ryo-chan"-teaparty.

Suriko: Next… time…. I won't even have one bone left including my teeth. I think I will answer yes to that Baron-person's offer about a lending out a bodyguard, the best he can offer. Meanwhile I will hide somewhere under a rock to atleast heal some of my broken 315 bones. -

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Author: Read and review this now finished chapter and the new chapter will be tomorrow.(With better format. -)