Note: Any song reference's you may see are not owned by me at all.

"You had all of your stuff in boxes." Relena asked. "Were you getting ready to move again?"

Heero nodded. "I was getting ready to move." He said.

Relena looked at him. "Duo said that you were moving around a lot. Where were you planing on moving next?" She asked him.

"I got an apartment near a family that knows me. We're aquatinted and I'm friends with their daughter. She's my age and we met during the war. They were part of an opposing group and started the rebellion."

"What's her name?" Relena asked feeling a little bit jealous.

"Miyyuuki." Heero said.

Chapter 12: Miyyuuki

"Miyyuuki." Heero said. "She's really happy that we'll be going to the same school and has been talking about it ever since I bought the place. Her father said it would be best if I moved in near her. Lots of people in the council of the colonies are coming as former people from OZ and White Fang and may send an attack squad or something to get revenge, or kidnap her. They are a prominent family, so I'll look after her." He said.

"Oh." Relena said. The twinge of jealousy became a bit bigger. 'How come she gets to see Heero all the time until he moves again when I rarely get to see him as it is!' She thought angrily. Her face contorted.

Heero noticed this. "What?" He asked. "Are you okay?" He said in a monotone voice.

Relena came out of her thoughts of jealousy and looked at Heero. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm all right. Just thinking about something. I have a lot of work that's all." She lied, though over the war years she had become a good liar. Heero looked at her, hiding his skepticism, then got up off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Relena asked, curiosity in her voice.

Heero turned to look at her. "I really need to get going now. I've had plenty of day's rest." He told her.

Relena looked at him and sweat-dropped. He had three days rest and his injuries were serious, but they heal quite quickly. "Why?" Relena questioned. "Your injuries were really serious." She walked up to Heero who was putting stuff in his duffel bag.

Heero looked at her. He saw disappointment, but pushed it away. 'Why would she be disappointed, baka!' His mind berated himself. He pushed all his thoughts to the task on hand: getting his stuff ready. "My stuff should already be in my new apartment." He stated. "I need to get unpacked and school starts for me tomorrow." He stated.

"Oh." Relena said. 'That's why...' She thought. 'I really hoped he would stay for awhile longer.' She felt with him around nothing could touch her and she was on weightless wings. "Maybe I can help you unpack." Heero looked at her, then went back to putting stuff away.

"Why?" He asked, but before she answered. "I'll need my laptop back." He said. He opened a secret compartment revealing all sorts of disks and such. He closed it.

"What are those for?" Relena asked. Somehow she had a feeling they had to do with all the work he was doing. There were so many, all labeled top secret and probably encoded like Heero would have them.

Heero looked at her. "Why do you want to know?" He questioned. A question for a question. His superiority of words made it almost impossible to argue with him. He would always keep the question pondering in her head and answer it with another question that didn't answer it.

"Because." She said piously, crossing her arms. "I have a right to know. Is that what made you get caught so easily?" She questioned further. Heero flinched inwardly. He hated being reminded of that. He hated how all the other's now knew his weakness. He had driven himself to exhaustion and he wasn't going to let that happen again. He would rather die.

"Not all of them are for that. Some are for something else." He stated simply. It was true; the ones labeled top secret in red with the higher security level were for something else. Something he would never let the others see. He wouldn't let them know his secrets about his past.

"Like what?" Relena asked innocently. "What's the difference?"

"The ones with the red lettering are about other missions and stuff, they have a higher security level so no one other than me can break into them. The other ones are about updates and terrorists and such." He said, annoyed that she wouldn't stop asking questions.

"Oh, I thought you're missions were over?" Relena asked.

"They are." He stated.

"Oh, then that means they were previous missions. So," She tilted her head. "That means they were missions before you got Zero because you're other missions were relayed to you through the Zero System and Gundam security." Relena said. "That mean's there about your past, right?" Heero didn't respond. 'That's a yes then.' She thought happily inside.

She decided to change the subject. "So," She said, clearing her throat. "Why did you tell me?" 'What?' Relena thought. 'It was suppose to be 'what classes are you taking?' Relena exclaimed in her head. 'Where did that come from.' She questioned, though the question still waited to be answered.

"Mainly because you can't break into the disks." Heero pointed out.

Relena glared at him, then laughed. "Well, point taken, I can't really hack into anything even if I tried." She said. 'But the other Gundam pilots can all team up and crack it!' She thought excitedly.

Heero looked at her as he raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked. Relena was staring at him continually and it was getting on his nerves.

"Huh? Oh, right! Um..." She bowed her head. "Sorry." She said cheerily. Heero waved off the apology, organizing some things cluttered in his bag. "I was wondering if you could stay a little while longer. I'm sure you don't have to worry about school since you can be sick, right?" She asked.

Heero looked at her. She wasn't going to let him leave, and the other Gundam pilots would hold him down or probably knock him out. They still thought he was exhausted, but the fact was, he wasn't now. He didn't want to admit it that he was still a little tired from all the training he was doing, but that was normal. He was usually tired during the war. It seemed such a distant memory now, the war. It reminded him of how he couldn't be normal.

He sighed. Relena took this as a sign he would give into her will but he was sighing for something else. He would have to get a job soon, despite the fact that Miyyuuki's family, the Hagurai's would give him anything he would need. He's not one for charity, though. 'Maybe a body guard?' He thought. Then his head snapped back to reality, noticing Relena still sitting next to him, closer than he remembered.

Relena had taken the chance while he was deep in thought to move closer to him, savoring the moment. "Well?" She questioned.

"Fine." He said, deciding to stay. "I'll stay, but I want my laptop back. And I'll only stay for a little while longer." He said.

"Deal!" Relena said happily. She got up. "I'll go and get your laptop." She said, rushing out of the room.

Heero stayed where he was. He looked downcast at the floor, deep in thought. He remembered what went on while he was in the dark void that he claimed was his sanctuary...

"I want to die."

From the beginning.

"Don't worry about me." He said. "Life comes cheap especially mine."

To a new start

"Roger that. I'm self-destructing Gundam."

To a new beginning

"Those Gundam pilots will do anything to complete their missions, even if it means forfeiting their lives."

The pain, not physical though. That was an emotion. There was no use. The war is over

No, it's not. Is it not?

You're still in a battle. You live a battle every day.

That is your purpose, but now in these times of peace, you are obsolete

Obsolete.

The word rang a bell to him, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Was he really obsolete now that the war was over, if so then why didn't they give him his final mission, the mission to take his life if he was such an obsolete purpose to the world? He wouldn't die, yet. Those weaklings would tell him what to do. They all died anyway. Dr. J told him his last mission. He accepted it.

"Heero, this is your last mission. Don't die." He commanded.

Heero looked at the Doctor. "Roger that." He said, the line disconnecting after the Doctor heard his affirmative.

Then he remembered her.

Her face.

The flower.

The dog.

The gun, and the detonation switch which he pressed. "How many times do I have to see that girl and her little dog die?"

Always.

At least until you die. You can never escape her face. She's always after you, this is revenge, revenge for killing her. She showed kindness, for that, you killed her.

It was an accident.

There isn't any such thing as accidents. You are obsolete.

Obsolete.

"You pray your dreams will leave you here,

But you wake and know the truth,

No ones there.

Say good night,

Don't be afraid,

Calling me,

Holding me in your arms,

As you fade to air..."

"Sweet raspier life, it ends here tonight."

Can it? Can it really stop the pain? Or does death hold even more pain?

There was darkness. It was comforting. He was raised in darkness, living with nothing, not even fear. Fear of death. It was just something that was there. Was death any different from life? He didn't want to move. He wanted to stay like this forever. In the dark void that surrounded him. He didn't want to live or die, just stay like this, stay here for eternity, in a sanctuary where nothing could hurt him. Not the painful memories, not the wounds on his body, not everything that had happened, just nothing." He remembered.

"You pray your dreams will leave you here,

But you wake and know the truth,

No ones there." He thought, but it came out as a whisper, not in the tune though. Relena walked into the room hearing this and almost dropped his computer.

TBC