Chapter 18: Giving Up

"You've grown weak." The commander said angrily to the suspended Heero, who was hanging by his arms in some shackles. "All those years of training," The commander said disdainfully. "Wasted." He spat on the ground, below Heero's yellow shoes.

"I did the missions." He said. "Now there's peace." He showed no emotion in his voice, like he usually did when he talked.

The commander smiled inwardly at this, at least he wouldn't take a long time to retrain. He was still the 'perfect soldier' no matter how hard he tried to suppress the person inside of him. "The war is over, huh? Peace is in the air, but is it any different from the war?" He questioned. "During the war, we were oppressed by arms, but now we are oppressed by peace. Do we have the right to bear arms to defend ourselves?" The commander questioned the young teenager. He gripped the young boy's chin hard, glaring at him. "Well?"

Heero didn't know what to say, as the commander griped his jaw even harder because he remained silent, as if wanting him to deny this. He didn't, he couldn't...it was something that had come across his mind when he disbanded a lot of terrorist groups who asked the same question. There was almost some truth to this...

"Well, you agree?" The commander said, grinning evilly. "It's nice to know they haven't changed you too much." He said snidely.

"No." Heero said, making the commander's grin fade. "Peace isn't oppressing at all." He said, feeling something inside him stir, which wasn't a good feeling. He felt as if he was lying to himself, but quickly pushed the thought away, concentrating on the task at hand: escaping.

"Well, it seems they have done more than one thing to our little perfect creation here." The commander said with disdain dripping with every word.

Heero insides lurched slightly, but he cursed his weakness at this inwardly. 'Not this time.' He thought, glaring at the commander.

The commander gripped Heero's jaw harder, making him want to let out a hiss of pain, but he clamped his mouth shut, making his jaw hurt even more. Heero bit his lower lip, a little too hard, making it bleed and he could taste the salty crimson life-fluid in his mouth.

"It seems they have reawakened emotion's too." The commander let go of his jaw and slapped his hard across the cheek, sending a slight and very small stinging feeling rushing through his face. The commander gripped his jaw now, harder it seemed than before. Heero let out a slight hiss of pain as the commander's hand, which was gripping his jaw, as also jammed into the spot where he had hit him. "We'll have to retrain him, too." He said to the other lower commander's behind him and they nodded in agreement, writing something on a clipboard.

"Go to hell." Heero said through clenched teeth.

The commander took out a knife and dragged it along the side of his head, drawing blood all the way from the sharpness. He dragged it further down and stopped. He lifted the knife and placed it on the side of the teenager's neck. "Do you dare to say that again?"

Heero didn't flinch at all. "Go to hell." He said again, through clenched teeth, only more clearly as he felt the blood trickle down the side of his face.

The commander laughed, "Wonderful, he still has a lot of the training we've done to him inside him. He's more rebellious and such, but that won't be something that will take long to fix." He turned back to Heero who stared at him blankly. "I'm sure that you missed us." The commander and the other's left the room, slamming the door, leaving Heero hanging there in the darkness with his thoughts.

'Damn.' He thought, thinking about what he had done. The things that made people leave him alone: his emotionless face, his glares, his motionless tone, his 'back off' attitude wouldn't work here. He knew no other way to live. They had him tied in his way of living. He lowered his head, trying to get some sleep, exhausted. 'The nurotoxin must still be in my system...no matter what...I won't give in...' He decided finally before drifting off into a lit sleep.

Only this last strand of thought, the commander heard through a one way wall, since he whispered it and they were recording everything he said and his actions for the board. He furrowed his brow after hearing this. He was strong, they would have to break his will, somehow. "Kasaii." He commanded and a young woman opened the door. She bowed, looking at the commander after she stood erect again.

"Yes, commander?" She asked in a normal tone of voice.

"Kasaii...your research has been very important in this. His will is strong. Too strong for us to break while them roam freely about. These people that you were talking about, who were they?" He questioned.

"There were four young boys: other Gundam pilot's obviously. They seem loyal to him, but there is one, a young girl, that seems to be infatuated with him. She's mainly been the cause of this it seems to me, she's been wanting him to be...human." She said, pausing to find the right word for what she wanted him to be like.

"She knows that is impossible yet still she tries?" He said. "Interesting..." He said slowly, grinning at the hanging sleeping form of Heero.

"They will come in pursuit of him. We've gotten a warning the security was broken into. They know our location." Kasaii stated, hoping the commander wouldn't be angry, yet he turned to her, grinning.

"Wonderful. Separate this girl from the other's by giving of different false information on where we are holding him." He jabbed his thumb in the direction of Heero.

"Yes sir!" Kasaii said, doing a salute and walking backwards, opening the door, bowing once more and then closed the door with a sharp click.

The commander turned to look at Heero once more. He grinned evilly and then sat down in a comfortable chair, watching the boy in his dreamless sleep.

"Hurry!" Duo shouted, jumping out of the moving plane with Relena in his arms so that she wouldn't get hurt when they jumped out. They landed with a thud onto the cement. They took off running with the other's following close behind.

"We'll check this way!" Trowa and Wufei shouted as Duo went a different direction with Sally and Relena, who ended up taking a different direction.

Sally and Relena stopped. They had soon come to another two-way passage. Sally looked at Relena. "I can take care of myself." She grabbed a gun from Sally and took off in one direction.

She opened a door by shooting at it, missing occasionally, not being very good at shooting. Her eyes wandered around the dark room until he found who they were looking for: Heero, who was suspended by shackles with a cut along the side of his face, leaving a dried blood stream over his stone like face. "Heero!" She shouted, making her way quickly to him.

His head snapped up in her direction, showing a small bit of fear in his eyes. She stopped, shocked that he was showing an emotion, even to her. 'What have they done to him?' She thought.

Unknown to her, he wasn't afraid for himself, but for her. "Relena! Run!' He said, struggling in his bonds.

Relena looked taken aback. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to leave you!" She was about to walk fast to him and get him out of the shackles but something cold was felt against her neck.

"Don't touch her!" Heero commanded angrily, still struggling. "Don't you dare!" He said, anger in his voice.

Relena dropped the gun in her hand and it fell with a sharp thud to the ground. Her eyes felt fear when the person holding her captive spoke coldly to Heero.

He grinned, "You know I would dare, after all...you wouldn't do anything to stop me." He said grinning all the way.

"Let her go! You don't want her, she hasn't done anything!" He said, a tone with almost some desperation in his voice. He stopped struggling, his energy wasted. He hung there, exhausted, dripping in sweat as his breathing was heavy.

"On the contrary, she has everything to do with this, you see...Kasaii's information and spying had becoming very helpful. She's concluded, and same for me, that this girl," He said disdainfully. "Has given you useless emotion's, so we'll have to change that, won't we?" He said gruffly, whispering into Relena's ear.

"Let me go!" Relena said, struggling, trying to get to Heero. Heero lowered his head, almost defeated; his strength wasn't like it was with the toxin still in his body.

"Heero!" Relena said fiercely. He didn't respond. "Don't give up! You can fight this!" She yelled. The commander pressed the knife harder to her neck, making her clamp her mouth shut.

"You wouldn't want to wake him, now would you?" The commander said fiercely.

Relena looked at Heero quizzically. 'He's asleep?' She thought, raising an eyebrow at this. 'Why would he be asleep at a time like this...?' she thought.

"The nurotoxin is still in his blood, making him weaker and weaker by the hour until we give him the antidote. His will is still strong though and he won't give in it seems." He said, dragging her out of the room.

"Do you want him to die? Give him the antidote!" Relena yelled right into his ear, making him flinch a bit at the volume of the young girl's voice when she screamed.

"He can't even stay conscious for more than three hours length." The commander said. "If this was him during the war, he would be able to last at least an hour more." The commander said gruffly. "And no, we don't want him to die, only to make him weaker so we can retrain him." He said, smiling at this.

"Heero..." She said, tears flowing down her cheeks silently. The commander smiled at this. He shoved Relena into a room and suspended her, much like Heero, by shackles also.

Meanwhile, the other Gundam pilot's were also apprehended and thrown into a cell all together with Sally Po. "Were they expecting us?" Wufei asked.

"I guess, but they didn't even bother putting us into cuff's or anything. I find that suspicious..." Trowa said, looking down at his hands.

"Relena's not here." Sally stated, looking around the room.

"What? They had to capture her, but why isn't she here?" Quatre asked.

"I don't know, but I have a bad, very bad feeling about this." Trowa said, answering the question for Sally that Quatre had asked to no one in particular.

Else where, Heero slowly opened his eyes, the darkness dissipating. He was in a room and he was looking at the sleeping form of Relena who was also shackled. He looked around. He had to get her out of this place, no mater what.

"I see you're awake, this is good...no we can start." The commander said, running his fingers through his dark brown hair, which went quite well with his tanned skin and dark forest green eyes.

"Don't you touch her." Heero said angrily, Relena stirred a bit and came face to face almost (despite the feet measurement away from him) with Heero.

The commander gripped her chin hard and she let out a cry of pain from the force and she looked at Heero as tears former her eyes as the commander gripped it harder, making it feel as if he was going to break her bone. Heero struggled vainly in his bonds trying to make him stop.

The commander looked at Heero and smiled at this. "It seems that this won't take long at all." He said, grinning, a sadistically look in his eye. "Maybe we should try some...torturing method's on you, eh?" He said, asking Relena as he let go of her jaw. Fear was evident in her baby blue eyes, as the captain looked her over. "We'll make you scream in pain when you get cut and hurt." He said, grinning.

"Don't touch her!" Heero shouted to the commander, who turned to look at him. He closed his mouth as the commander looked at him, maliciously.

"Oh, touch her...I meant more exciting than that, and you have a front row seat, Heero." He said. He looked at the others in the room. "Leave us and lock the door, this will be a private session." He commanded as the others left the room, the loud click indicating the door was locked.

Heero stared at the commander, fire burning in his eyes as he tried harder to get free, making the chains rattle loudly. "Leave her out of this!" He said angrily.

"Oh, you know I won't if this is what it takes..." He turned back to Relena and walked closer to her. She tried to move back, but she couldn't. "You are quite a young beautiful one..." He walked closer and Relena let some tears fall. He was about to land a forceful punch on her side cheek when Heero stopped moving. The commander stopped in his tracks and turned to look at the 'perfect soldier.'

"Heero..." Relena whispered, afraid to speak any louder as if the man would turn back his attention to her.

Heero raised his head, defeated. Then lowered it again, giving up. The commander grinned at this and walked away from Relena and then took out the keys and unlocked Heero, letting him fall to the floor as he caught his arm and pulled him up. The nurotoxin made him weak and he was covered in sweat, not even able to stand on his own. The commander draped the young boys arm over his shoulder, as he didn't struggle anymore.

Some men came in and stood guard, noting the happy look on the commander's face and the defeated look on the young soldier who lowered his head as the commander dragged him out of the room. When Heero was dragged past Relena, who was let down, he looked up at her. "I'm sorry..." He whispered to her and the commander slapped his face hard for saying this to her.

"She's dead to you now, if you even think anything about her or don't do what we want. We'll kill her...slowly." Navar, the commander said to the young Japanese fighter who looked down, nodding his head complying with this. "Let's get you cleaned up for your first training session." He said.

They left the room.

"No! Heero!" Relena said, tears streaming down her face as she struggled in the hold of the soldier's dragging her off. They threw her roughly into the room where the other intruder's were waiting.

"Relena!" Sally shouted, rushing over to the girl. She saw the tears streaming down her face. "W-What's wrong...?" She asked, her voice quivering at the sight of the strong woman that Heero even called stronger than himself.

Relena looked up at them. "It's Heero." She said.

The other's looked at her, huddling around her to hear what she had to say. "What is it about Heero?" Quatre asked, pulling her into a comforting hug.

She dried her tears. They would make everything right, the other Gundam pilot's they would get out of here and free Heero, free him from these awful people. "I was set up for a trap. They led all you guys to fake location's and I ended up finding Heero, but he told me to run away as fast as I could." She explained.

"That's why we didn't find him anywhere else." Trowa said and Duo looked from him to Relena.

"Relena, why did he tell you to run? Why wouldn't he want you to at least get him out of there?" He questioned.

The girl's expression tightened a bit at the memory that Duo had reawakened. "Because it was a trap." She said sadly. "They caught me and used me to break his will." She said, new tars falling down her eyes. "They were going to torture and hurt me and he- he told them not to touch me." She said, more tears falling. "He- he didn't want him to hurt me... he said..." She said, pausing.

"That bastard!" Duo said, a fire growing in his eyes. 'How would he do that? How could he even say that to her in front of Heero!' He thought heatedly.

"He- he didn't touch you, did he?" Quatre asked her, nearly retching at the thought of seeing Relena screaming as they cut her with knives and punched her roughly.

Relena shook her head, newly fresh tears now falling. "What happened?" Wufei asked. 'How dare he say that or even think of doing that to a young girl?' He swore vengeance under his breath for even the thought of such a cruel idea. Rarely the Gundam pilot's were tortured, just confined or beaten a little bit, but they could take the pain. Relena was still so innocent and naïve.

"Heero wouldn't let him, so he-he—"Relena started wailing the next part. "He gave up for me and now they are going to retrain him!" She sobbed. "He gave up everything that ties him to humanity for me!" She wailed.

"What!" They all shouted in unison.

Sally tightly hugged Relena, who was still crying and started crying with her. Trowa looked at Quatre who held a worried look on his face. Wufei swore under his breath.

Sally pulled Relena off to a corner away from the other's where she told the whole story in hushed tones while Sally whispered soothing words to her the whole time, letting her cry in her arms, and offered a hug whenever needed.

"Heero...please be alright..." Sally whispered when Relena cried herself to sleep and described the whole story from Relena's point of view in full detail of what happened.

Heero lay on the bed in an upright position, leaning against the wall since there was no headboard, just a mattress with sheets and a blanket, while remembering the lyrics to a song... it was 'My Immortal' by Evanescence.

It seemed so long ago when he had last heard it, and somehow it connected him to it.

The training session had been hard that day. His whole body ached all over. There were bruises, but the commander said he had gone easy on him because he agreed and gave in to his will, for which he knew deep down, he was grateful for since they didn't have to break him even more than he was already broken.

A man walked into the room and Heero looked up, not caring whom it was anymore. No caring about anything...

"Get up." The Navar said forcefully. Heero did as he was told. He wasn't wearing his forest green tank top, or a shirt for a matter of fact. He had white bandages wrapped around his torso to hide some of his wounds that he had gotten. They concentrated on torturing him, since they had to get rid of his emotions.

The commander handed him his shirt and he put it on. The commander looked at the boy, pleased with what they had done to him: his eyes held a depressing look deep in the emotionless depths. His spirit was broken and it had only taken less than thirty minutes.

"You have a training session in hangar B to get data recorded on you." The commander said. Heero looked at the commander emotionless except for the depressing look etched into his face now.

Heero blinked and the commander looked at the young boy and his lower lips twitched as he let out a growl and hit the boy across the face, noticing him not even twitching. He slowly moved his head back slowly, not moving.

"Why are you still here?" He said, looking at the small blood trickle he had made when his wristwatch connected with his face.

Heero looked at the commander with no emotion in his eyes or his voice. "You didn't dismiss me." He said, feeling the cold blood trickle down his cheek.

"I don't need to," The commander said. "When I give you an order you follow it unless I start talking again. Was I talking?" He questioned. The boy shook his head and walked past Navar, who smiled smugly at this. The board would definitely be pleased with this.

Heero walked down the hall towards hanger B where they would record his training skills. He wanted to let out a heavy sigh and slump against the wall, his body worn out it seemed. 'Why am I like this?' He thought to himself, walking at a slower pace.

The commander followed silently behind him, monitoring him unknowingly to the young boy. 'What is he doing?' The commander thought getting suspicious.

'I should be depressed, why would I think I would be?' He though, while furrowing his brows as he took a slower pace. 'This is my purpose, so might as well go on with it.' He thought. A small voice in him reminding him of Relena died when he thought this and Heero straightened up and walked confidentially to the hangar.

'Is he plotting something?' The commander questioned his inner self while squinting suspiciously at the teenager.

The boy stopped and turned to look down the empty hall. "I know that you are there." He said in a colder emotionless tone.

The commander came out, smiling when he heard this. "It's good to see that not all of our training has been wasted." He said while looking over the boy, noticing his eyes were an icier blue, which held no depressing look. Navar smiled inwardly as he looked over Heero who looked exactly like he did when he was last seen before his mission's involving Gundam.

"They were never wasted." The boy said, turning away from the commander and typing in a code to open the door to the hangar.

A group of people in white lab coats turned to look at the boy before them. "You're on time, that's good. Let's get started, come over here." They commanded.

Heero walked over to the people and allowed them to put some wires onto his head and some on his arms and leg's. "Take off your shirt." One person commanded to him. He pulled it off, revealing the bandages over his torso. They picked up a knife and cut off the bandages and put some wires onto his chest to monitor his heart beat and respiration. They picked up a needle and put it into his arm much like an IV.

They instructed him to get into the cockpit of Wing Zero, which had been moved there when they discovered it's hiding place and cracked the security code for his system. It had been quite hard, he had honed his skills over the years so they were better than what they had trained him, making it almost impossible for them to hack.

"Is anything wrong?" The doctor asked over a microphone connected into the mobile suit.

"No, you can start the simulation." He said as he flexed his body. It had been almost a year since he had last piloted the Gundam, or a mobile suit in fact. He remembered everything like one would never forget the alphabet.

The doctor's turned some dials and pushed some buttons and raised the level to simulation five, a quite high level but not a limit for the system.

Inside the cockpit Heero's reflexes destroyed mobile suits one after another, raising it to the next level after he destroyed all of the suits in that level. He continued destroyed mobile suit after mobile suit disappearing off the screen.

"He's at a high level, he seems to not have forgotten anything at all." A doctor said, recording his data to a disk.

Another doctor nodded. "His brain waves aren't altered at the very least. The Zero system seems not to be affecting him at the least. His pulse isn't wavering either. His body is relaxed almost it seems." He pointed out.

"Excellent. He seems to have come to his senses at least." The commander said with pleasure. "Increase the simulation level to twelve." He commanded. The boy was already on level ten and still going. "He hasn't reached his limit yet."

Heero destroyed mobile suit after another until they stopped the simulation after he was on level twenty- nine, a higher lever by at least twelve for the other Gundam pilots'.

"That was good." The commander said, putting his hand on Heero's shoulder.

Heero didn't respond or move as the commander noted the normal tensing of his muscles he had when the commander came close to him since his abduction. The doctor's pulled off the wires on his body and then the needle connected to his arm with a little too much force. He didn't flinch

"The board want's to observe and see you." Navar said, pleased with how everything was turning out. "Go get into your normal clothes." He ordered as Heero walked out of the room putting his shirt on as he walked down the hall.

Soldier's blocked the way he had first come and he had to take a different route. He stopped at a split in direction's. He looked from each one to another. 'Crap.' He thought. It had been over one year, about two or so, since he had last been here and there were many new renovations added to the base.

He stood there, ignoring the clicking of shoes coming from behind him. 'Which way?' He questioned himself. He had taken a turn to get to this area but knew he wouldn't be able to find his way back without asking where his quarters where.

"Hey." A soldier said, coming up from behind h, dragging a prisoner who turned out to be Sally and Relena with him and a small unit to make sure no escape plans were made. Heero turned slightly.

"Heero!" Sally cried as she struggled a bit more from the people restraining her. She looked at the pilot who set but a glance at her. His face showed utmost defeat as she stared at him as he turned away, hiding his emotion's, what few he had left. His bangs hung over his eyes a little bit. They had regained their cold look that he first had when Relena met him.

"Heero, run away!" Relena shouted, letting a few tears fall down her tanned cheeks. Heero didn't even look at her.

"Why are you here?" The soldier questioned the boy. He was one of the soldiers that would look after him after a while. Heero didn't respond or move away. He didn't even glance at the man or his prisoner's but turned and continued to look at the split ways before him.

The soldier sighed and Heero didn't turn to look at him. "Which way is it?" He questioned in his voice, which was cold and held no emotion what so ever. Relena let some tears fall silently down her cheeks.

"Come on." The soldier said and Heero turned to follow him. "It's back this way." He said heavily.

Heero was walking past Relena and didn't even glance at her. "Don't cry." He said in barely a whispered tone.

The soldier behind him lifted a blade and placed it against his neck, Heero stood there, motionless with no fear in his eyes. "She's dead if you even acknowledge her, remember?" The soldier told Heero coldly.

Heero didn't nod or even say anything. He let out a small and weak smile. "Would it matter? I'm already dead." He said, making Relena cry and scream at him to try and get away, anything.

The soldier who was going to lead him to his quarters told the man to remove the knife. He grabbed Heero's chin tightly and jerked it up. He said something into Heero's ear, making his eyes widen a little bit and made him struggle against the guards restraining him.

The soldier grinned coldly and roughly held onto Relena's hand as he glanced at her with something in his eyes, something that made Relena shiver and pull back. He glanced at Heero once more, grinning even wider and more evilly than the previous time.

TBC