Chapter Three: If I Only Had a Brain
Kaiba and Mokuba continued down the Yellow Brick Road, the younger of the two humming to himself.
"'Ding dong, the witch is dead…'"
Suddenly they stopped in their tracks as they came to a fork in the road, splitting the Yellow Brick Road into two roads.
"Damn it," muttered Kaiba, "Now which way do we go?"
"Excuse me," said a voice, "But that way's a very nice way."
The two Kaiba brothers looked around for the source of the voice, but all they saw was a blond-haired scarecrow perched on a pole in a cornfield, his right arm extended.
"Who said that?" Kaiba snapped.
"But there's nothing here but that scarecrow, Seto," Mokuba whispered.
"Don't be silly, Mokuba," Kaiba reproached, "Scarecrows don't talk."
"It's cool down there too, though," the voice continued.
Kaiba subconsciously looked back up at the scarecrow, now to see his left arm extended.
He frowned, looking back at his little brother. "That's funny…wasn't that scarecrow pointing the other way?"
"Of course, people do go both ways," the voice laughed, and this time Kaiba looked up to see the scarecrow point in both directions.
The CEO gawked.
"Wait a minute…you did say something, didn't you?" he demanded, looking straight at the scarecrow's painted brown eyes.
The scarecrow shook his head, before nodding with goofy grin on his face.
"Are you doing that on purpose?" asked Mokuba, looking slightly insulted.
"Or can't you make up your mind?" demanded Kaiba.
"That's just the trouble," the scarecrow replied naively, "I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain…only straw."
"How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" Kaiba inquired.
The scarecrow frowned in thought.
"I don't know," he said at last, "But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?"
And to Mokuba's surprise as well as his own, Kaiba chuckled.
"I suppose you're right," the elder Kaiba brother granted, "I don't believe we've been properly introduced, have we?"
"No, I don't think so," replied the scarecrow.
"I'm Mokuba Kaiba," Mokuba introduced himself, "And this is my big brother Seto."
"The farmer's daughter named me Katsuya Jounouchi," the scarecrow replied, "But you can call me Jou."
"How do you do, Jou?" Mokuba said politely.
"Not great, to be honest," Jou sighed, "Then again, having a pole up your back probably isn't the best position."
"That must be pretty painful," Mokuba said.
"No, not really," Jou reassured cheerfully, "But I can't get down or go anywhere…so it does make things pretty boring."
"Maybe I can get you down," Kaiba offered, going around to look at the other side of the pole.
"Oh, that'd be very nice of you," Jou told him, "Very, very nice."
Kaiba frowned in thought as he tried to figure out how to unfasten the scarecrow from the pole. "Damn…if this were a computer, this would be so much-"
"I'm not very bright about doing things," Jou said as one would about the weather, "But maybe if ya bend the nail down in the back, maybe I'll slip off and…"
Right then he fell off the pole as Kaiba had bended down the nail, and some straw stuffing came out of his chest.
Jou laughed. "There goes some of me again!"
"Does it hurt you?" asked Mokuba in concern.
"No, I just grab it and stuff it back in again," Jou replied pleasantly as he did so, "Man, it's good to be free…"
The scarecrow tried to walk, but he tripped and Kaiba just barely caught him.
"Did I scare ya?" Jou asked when he saw the Kaiba brother's looks of worry.
"No," Kaiba muttered, getting back into character, "We just thought you might hurt yourself with your clumsiness."
Jou didn't even seemed to notice that Kaiba had insulted him.
"But I didn't scare ya?" he repeated.
"No, of course not," Mokuba tried to reassure him.
"I didn't think so," Jou muttered, looking disappointed.
Right then a black crow came over and landed on Jou's shoulder, nibbling on some straw coming out of his neck.
"Boo," Jou said unenthusiastically, "Go away. Go fuck your momma."
But the crow didn't leave, and instead cawed like a mocking laugh.
"See?" the scarecrow told the brothers sadly as the crow went back to nibbling away at his straw, "I can't even scare a crow! They come for miles just to pick at my stuffing and laugh in my face."
Kaiba finally got fed up as the crow started cawing mockingly again.
"Get out of here, you rat with wings," the CEO snapped threateningly, and the crow flew away in terror.
"Oh…I'm a failure 'cause I haven't got a brain," Jou put his head in his hands.
The two Kaiba brothers looked at each other for a moment, before Mokuba spoke up.
"Seto and I are going to the Emerald City to see the Wizard of Oz so we can go back home to Domino…maybe he could get you some brains."
Jou's face lit up. "You think so? You really think so?"
"I don't see why not he couldn't help you," Kaiba shrugged, "But I don't suggest you come with us; the Wicked Wiz of the West is on our tail because he wants these shoes," he shook one of his feet to call attention to the silver shoes, "And he hasn't been very friendly to us thus far."
"Wicked Wiz?" Joey snorted, puffing himself up with pride, "I'm not scared of him! I'm not afraid of anything! Well…alright, maybe one thing," his voice became meek here.
"What?" asked Mokuba.
Jou's eyes darted from side to side, before whispering, "A lighted match."
"Even I don't blame you for that," Kaiba noted.
"But I'd go through a whole box of lighted matches if it meant I could get some brains," Joey said determinedly, "Won't you take me with you? I don't eat, I don't sleep, and I won't ever question you because I can't think! Please…can't I come with you?"
His painted eyes were like a pleading puppy dog's.
"Of course you can," Mokuba assured, "Right, Seto?"
"Sure, why not," Kaiba sighed.
"HOORAY!" Jou jumped up in delight, "I'M GONNA SEE THE WIZARD OF OZ!"
Jou tripped again, and Kaiba once again had to catch him.
"You're not starting out very well," he said coldly.
"Oh, don't worry," Jou assured, acting a little more controlled, "I'll get better! I promise I will!"
"Alright, then," Kaiba smiled slightly, "Let's go."
And so the scarecrow joined the two Kaiba brothers down the right half of the Yellow Brick Road, hoping for the best and quickest way to the Emerald City.
