Numb
Give me all your fear, throw it away
Think about the good things, no matter what they say
We'll take tomorrow baby
One day at a time
Butch Walker / One Day at a Time
Ellie was on her way to geometry when she collided with Paige. "Hey, Hon!" Paige squealed excitedly grabbed her arm and walked arm in arm with Ellie down the hallway.
Ellie sighed heavily as she felt Paige pat her hand gently, " Hey Paige, how can I help you?" she drawled.
"I just wanted to know how you were doing?" Paige smiled.
"I'm fine Paige, can I go to class now? Or do I have to check in with you first?" Ellie asked shifting her binder and books in her arm as Paige held on tight. Paige's smile fell as Ellie struggled to make it down the hall with her arms full, "could you actually just -" Ellie motioned for Paige to let her go, "I can't be Spinner and hold my books."
"Ellie I'm only trying to help," Paige said frowning, dropping her grip.
Ellie sighed, feeling absolutely horrible for being so nasty towards Paige, "She's only trying to help." Ellie insisted to herself. " Look, Paige, I'm sorry, I really appreciate that you're trying to help, but I'm doing fine, and swung her bag and dropped her books inside. Paige watched Ellie shift uncomfortably under her gaze. She was very skeptical of Ellie's words. Her eyes traveled down to Ellie's long sleeves. The hallway was slowly becoming empty and Paige grabbed Ellie and dragged her into the nearest girls' restroom.
"Show me your arm," Paige said, in a demanding tone.
Ellie looked completely taken aback. " Are you serious?"
"Dead" Paige said as she crossed her arms and waited for Ellie to make a move.
"I don't think so," Ellie said.
"So you're still doing it?" Paige asked, "I'll tell Ms -"
"There's nothing to tell her Paige," Ellie snapped, "but really I think it's about time you minded your own damn business. Ellie dropped her binder on the sink counter and role down her sleeves to show her; the only thing visible was the faint pink lines of older cuts. Paige didn't budge, "Happy?" Ellie asked.
Paige just stared at her, almost disappointed she couldn't collect on the savior complex she had been high on lately. Paige finally nodded as Ellie collected her things and pushed past her, "I'm glad your okay," Paige whispered as Ellie rushed through the bathroom door so hard that door just swung back and forth as Paige watched.
Ellie was beginning to feel even more crowded with Paige's attention. It was the third time this week that she had been confronted by her, and frankly, she was tired of it. She hadn't cut in a while, and her meetings with Ms. Sauve were progressing as they worked on new techniques to keep from cutting. With the bell about to ring, Ellie sprinted down the hall and made it into the room, and into her seat under the gaze of Mr. Armstrong. She turned to her left and noticed Marco smiling at her. He slowly slipped her a small note.
Hey Els
Ellie smiled and scribbled a response.
Hey Marco
Ellie struggled to pay attention to Mr. Armstrong as he scribbled notes on the board and reading Marco's note.
how are you doing? I saw Paige stop you in the hall...everything is okay, right? I mean you look happy...
Ellie sighed.
I'm fine Marco, Paige just keeps hounding me.
Marco looked relieved.
good.
Ellie smiled to herself.
Dylan notice you yet?
Marco started to glow.
I wish. He's got a hockey game this weekend. I'm going.
Ellie shook her head smiling.
that's good.
Marco had a panicked look on his face.
what am I going to wear!?
Ellie turned to look at him and wanted to laugh. She slipped the note away, turned her attention towards the board, and began scribbling down some notes as they were written down on the board.
Sean sat at a table in the corner of the cafeteria. His hoodie was pulled up and over his head and his forehead resting on his crisscrossed arms. The last few days had been a blur. He'd skipped the day with Ellie and the next night they worked on his English project. But then it was a straight bender of nights with Jay and Towerz and the rest of the gang. Jay's parents were gone two weeks and he'd turned his home into a revolving door for partying. Sean groaned as he felt Jay and Towerz sit down at the table.
"Dude -" Sean interrupted the two chatting, "volume down like 3 notches," he noted as he looked up.
"Hungover again?" Jay asked.
"I don't know how you aren't -" Sean rolled his eyes, "you drank more than I did."
Jay laughed, "in what universe?"
Sean looked at him funny and was hoping there would be an explanation. There wasn't one. He really thought he'd been pretty good at counting his drinks and keeping it under control. But that comment from Jay made him question his reality. He felt like shit. He was behind in almost all his classes, even though he'd been putting in the work - he just didn't show up to class to hand it in. He hadn't even gone home the night before, Sean just remembered waking up on the couch at Jay's with no sign of Jay and no time to go home and change. Sean just looked miserable. He felt miserable.
He wasn't sure why, after all, he was hanging out with the people that understood him the most, wasn't he? He slipped his headphones on to drown out the sound of the cafeteria filling up and pressed play. He found himself nodding off for a moment before he realized it was another CD that Ellie had lent him that he had yet to return. He smiled in his tired state as he thought about the last time he saw her. They'd been working on his English project for Ms. Kwan and she was explaining that there had already been so many modern-day depictions of Shakespeare. He remembered how excited she was talking about Ten Things I Hate About You or why she thought the Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio was amazing and that he thought she looked cute when she got excited about something.
Sean was drifting off in his own thoughts when Mr. Raditch towered over him and knocked on the table to get his attention. Sean sat up and pulled his headphones off, "Mr Cameron," he said, "with me please." Sean rolled his eyes and sighed as he turned off the CD player and followed Mr. Raditch, and looking around realized he'd fallen asleep in the now-empty cafeteria. He hung his shoulders and followed Mr. Raditch to his office. "I'm going to start charging you rent for this seat," he said motioning for Sean to sit down. "You've skipped three classes this week, Sean."
Sean shrugged.
"And you missed your detention with me."
Sean stared.
"Do you want to say anything?"
"I forgot," he drawled.
Mr. Raditch sighed, "Look, even though you've skipped classes, the ones that you've Sean up for have said you've been turning in assignments, I can tell you're trying."
Sean continued to stare. What was there to say?
"Is something going on at home?" he asked.
Sean shrugged.
"Look, Sean -" he said, "I wish you saw yourself how some of your teachers do. You are a bright kid -" he paused, "when you want to be. And I hope that you figure out what it is you want, because if it's to graduate on time? It's not going to happen if you continue with this kind of apathy."
"Whatever" Sean mumbled.
"Mr. Simpson is back soon." Sean's gaze looked up. "He's worried about your grades and has offered his classroom as a place for you to get yourself caught up on some work and get yourself back on track."
Sean sighed.
"But that's up to you."
Sean nodded.
Mr. Raditch shook his head, "you're supposed to be in environmental science -" and pointed to the door, "go, please." Sean stood up and pulled his headphones back on as Mr. Raditch called after him to "stay out of trouble."
"Can't promise anything, Sir"
Mr. Raditch shook his head again as he watched Sean retreat out of his office.
Sean left the office with a chip on his shoulder. Why did he have to bring Mr. Simpson into it? Why did Mr. Simpson have to care at all? He really didn't like having teachers and principals digging into his life and judging him. He didn't want to fail, it's why he was trying to do something about it - unfortunately doing well in school was getting interrupted by his social life with Jay.
He looked up as he walked to class and saw Ellie walking down the hall, "Ellie!" he called out and picked up the pace to catch up with her, and watched her slow down and smile as she waited for him to catch up. "How are you?" he asked, "it's been a while."
"I'm good," she said, "just been busy."
Sean nodded, "same."
"Mom has been a mess," Ellie confessed as she rolled her eyes.
"Holiday season was always hangover season for my parents." Ellie looked at him sympathetically. "But hey, have you heard from your dad?"
Ellie glowed for a bit and nodded, "this current deployment is over after the new year."
Sean nodded, "that's great."
"Wish he could be home for the holidays -" Ellie said as she hung her head, "can't remember the last holiday we all spent together." She paused for a bit like she was coming to an epiphany, "she's better when he's home."
"I can come by and hang out with you," Sean suggested.
Ellie smiled, "I don't know -" she said softly, "it would be weird considering my mom has never met you."
Sean laughed, "what better time to introduce a new friend?"
"I don't want to ruin your holidays with my family drama."
Sean began to hit her with the puppy dog eyes.
Ellie shook her head, "my mom-"
" Will probably be sane if there's company" Sean said as he remembered always hoping his friends were free to come over so his parents wouldn't drink in front of them.
Ellie gave in. Just looking into Sean's puppy dog eyes, she couldn't say no Sean coming over for at least one day during break, in fact, she really needed a break from her mother drinking, especially during the holidays.
" I'll see you over break then," Sean said. Ellie nodded as she watched Sean rush down the hall towards his classroom. He was actually going to a class.
" Els!" Marco called out as rushed down the hall with Dylan strolling up behind him. Ellie waited up for Marco and smiled as she noticed Dylan's presence as well.
" Hey Marco, Dylan," she said, watching as Dylan nodded as she acknowledged him.
" I saw you talking to Sean," Marco said, nudging her gently with his elbow.
" And?" Ellie asked raising her eyebrows as she waited for his reasoning.
" So, did he ask you out?" Marco quipped up.
" Actually no, me and Sean aren't like that, we are just friends," Ellie said, lying more to herself than she was to Marco.
" Oh really?" Dylan asked begging to differ.
" Yes, really, he's been helping me a lot lately dealing with some...stuff"
" More than just your geometry homework I bet..." Marco said smirking, " perhaps he's helping you with some sex-ed"
Ellie rolled her eyes, " bye guys" she chirped as she walked down the hall towards her last class of the day.
Ellie walked into the conference room at the station with a carrier of coffee from the local cafe, "and our favorite intern is here with the coffee," Caitlin said as she took ab real from her presentation. "You're the best intern we've ever had, Ellie."
Ellie gently passed the coffee around the room as she quipped back "I'm the only intern you've ever had Caitlin."
Caitlin smiled as she flushed red, "all the same. you've been a huge asset around here."
"And we don't just mean the coffee runs," Tomas added.
"It's no big deal," she chirped as Caitlin grabbed a binder for Ellie who took it as she headed down the hall to a small room Ellie had been using as something like her own little office. "You know the drill," Ellie said to herself, and got to work proofreading the transcripts from Caitlin's latest episodes and catching up on her geometry homework as the clock ticked by.
Ellie was on her way down the hall to punch out for the day when she popped her head into Caitlin's office to let her know she was taking off when Caitlin called her back into the office with a "wait!"
Ellie turned around "yea?" she asked, adjusting her bag strap that hung on her shoulder loosely.
"So we were talking about some ideas for after the new year -" Caitlin tried to pitch the idea to Ellie, "we want to get more involvement from a younger audience without resorting to licensing cartoons."
"Okay?" she asked, "what does that have to do with me?"
"Well you've had some great ideas over the last few weeks, I thought maybe you had something to contribute."
Ellie beamed, she was practically glowing, and "you really want my ideas?"
Caitlin looked at her as if she were crazy, " of course, that was one of the reasons why we hired you, young minds these days are hard to tap into."
" Well..." Ellie began, " why not do a show staring local kids, like a kids news type thing, for the kids, by the kids."
Caitlin was silent for a moment as she thought.
Ellie began to feel nervous as she waited for Caitlin's answer and response.
" That -" Caitlin began, "is actually a great idea, like partner kids up with the crew, let them write their own stories to air, let them do the work." Caitlin started to jot it down on a piece of scrap paper, "I love it, why don't you flesh out the idea a bit more and we can pitch it to the head of the station after the new year."
Ellie smiled brightly. " I'll get right on it."
Ashley and Craig were completely consumed in each other as they made their way home from school. Their fingers were intertwined as they walked towards Ashley's home.
"You're still coming over for the tree-trimming party? right?" Craig asked as they stopped in front of her house.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she said kissing him on the cheek. Her kiss seemed to burn to him. He brushed it off thinking it was the cold, but as he left her front porch and began his trek home, he began to realize why he burned. Perhaps it was all the lying he was doing, the sneaking around behind her back that made her touch burn him. Deep down he felt he deserved. He walked into the garage and found Manny waiting for him on the couch. "Thank God for no band practice," he thought, a smile completely drawn across his face.
"Hey," Manny said sweetly.
It was all she ever needed to say to have Craig wrapped around her little finger.
The last year had been a huge transformation for Manny. From a sweet giggly little girl who had reminded him of his little sister to a beautiful young woman. In a few short weeks, she had most of the guys in school falling all over her. She seemed to relish in the attention but kept them all at arm's length. There were moments that Craig even noticed that most of the guys only seemed to notice her for the makeover she gave herself on the outside - they didn't see the sweet girl that gave skating lessons to the little kids at the ice rink or the one that gave up her evenings to teach gymnastics after cheerleading practice. He saw how devoted she was to her friends; her sudden popularity was kept grounded by her friendship with her small core group. Ever since the night of Paige's surprise party, she was more than just a girl; she was different.
" I thought you weren't coming over 'til later" Craig muttered.
Manny shrugged, " Sully ditched me to go hang out with his friends," she said softly.
"I don't know why you bother with him," Craig said, "the guy is an idiot."
Manny smiled, "jealous, Craig?"
Craig smirked, "you're just a great girl Manny," he said, "would hate to see you with someone who doesn't deserve you."
"Well maybe he's just a placeholder for the guy I really want," she said as Craig slipped down on the couch next to her.
"Oh?
Manny shrugged, "You know - I was thinking that since you don't have band practice... maybe you could use a little...inspiration," she said seductively.
Craig smirked. "Exactly what was on my mind," he said pulling her on top of him, their lips practically infused.
Author's Note: updated 07-05-2020
