Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

Warning: This chapter is filled with a lot of pain, anxiety, and ill feelings, for all three travelers.

Dark Secret Revealed

Legolas looked at his friend realizing that he was right. But still he did not want to allow her to touch him. She wasn't evil herself. He could sense that, but evil surrounded her. He could feel it in the depths of his soul, and he did not want that evil to surround him also. He had the feeling that if he did he would drown in it.

"Legolas." Atavus stood and made her way to kneel in front of him. She did not touch him yet. "I know what it is you are feeling. I can see it in your eyes. I know what it is that you sense, I sense it every day that I live. But it is as an afterthought to me, and though I have never healed one of the Firstborn before I promise you that you will not be overwhelmed by it. It is always kept in check. The blood does not allow it to rule, just to linger. Within a few days your own body will have replaced my blood in your system dispelling it as if it was a minor irritant. Everything will be fine."

He looked deep in her eyes and realized that she was not lying to him. Her words were true. He wanted to trust her. He didn't want to die, but would not being enveloped in that evil feeling be worse than death? He stared into her eyes for a few moments more trying to see anything dishonest in them. It unnerved her. She felt as if her soul was laid bare in front of him, but she did not turn away. He needed assurance that she spoke true and she would not give him a reason to back away now.

"Legolas no matter what Strider says I can not force you to take this gift. You must accept it freely for it to work. The choice is completely yours, but I don't want you to die either." She said realizing for the first time that she did not want to see either of them harmed. She had not meant to become fond of the two friends, but they had a way of growing on a person.

"All right. I'll accept it." He finally broke his gaze from her eyes. Aragorn was right; it would be reckless of him to endanger himself because something didn't feel right. He had to be logical and accept the help that was offered him and then deal with his mixed emotions later, and besides he was beginning to feel like a cave troll had sat him on. His head was pounding. His breathing was becoming difficult, and the pain in his shoulder and chest was becoming excruciating. He doubted very much if he could have even made it to Lórien, much less Rivendell.

"Good lay on the ground near the fire. Strider I will need your help. Get clean water and bandages." They did as she said. She kneeled beside Legolas. "It would be easier if you looked towards the fire. There is much more poison to deal with than when I was helping Arvis, and you might feel some pain as it is pulled out of your internal organs. I'm sorry." She knew there would be pain but hated to inflict it upon him.

"I'm okay. Do what you must." He didn't turn his face away.

"All right." She sighed slowly then looked to Aragorn. "Strider you must help. The poison is so abundant. I need you to place your hand over mine, and don't let my hand slip until all signs of the poison are gone. Even after that keep it there for a moment. We must make sure to get it all or it will just multiply again. This is very important. I might lose consciousness during, but whatever happens my hand must remain on his shoulder until it is done. Don't let the connection go."

Aragorn nodded kneeling so he faced her. "But afterwards what do I do for you?"

"There is little you can do. Just try to keep me warm. The poison is so cold. My body will fight off the poison in it's own way. I will be fine." She answered removing the small knife from her ankle sheath.

She took one deep breath clearing her mind. She knew this would be much harder than any other healing she had tried. But she also knew she could do it. She quickly cut her palm letting the blood begin to flow then clamped her hand on Legolas' shoulder. She didn't close her eyes this time. She stared lost into the vibrant blue orbs of the elf. If she had been asked what it was like to do what she was doing she could not have explained it. It was almost as if an ethereal part of her was inside the elf searching and gathering the poison to herself, pulling it into her own veins in the process, and in exchange leaving her own blood in it's place. She could sense the moans of pain coming from him even though she did not hear them with her ears. She did not know how to make the pain go away. If she could she would. But she continued on. She reached what seemed like a bright center to the being. That part of her that was connected to him knew it was his immortal soul. To her relief the poison had not touched it yet, but still she wanted to feel it for only a second. The ethereal part of herself brushed ever so slightly against it. She felt warmth surrounding her. She did not know the feeling. She had forever been cold in her own body. She wanted to revel in it. It felt so good, but she knew she was intruding where she should not, so she pulled back, continuing her search for the poison she wanted to destroy.

Aragorn watched the two of them. Legolas did moan in pain a lot, but he could see that it was working. The black tendrils of poison were receding, but as he looked towards Atavus he became distressed. Her skin was taking on a deathly shade of grey and her eyes were becoming glazed, with a smoky hue to them. Was the poison too much for her? He watched in horror as her body began to sway. She was losing consciousness. He remembered her words and held tight to her hand. He used his other arm to reach out and pull her to him so she would not fall. He kneeled there for a few moments more watching the two in front of him. Legolas' pain had diminished almost completely. He was watching Aragorn. "I think it's over Estel. I don't sense her anymore."

Aragorn searched around the edges of her hand and saw no trace of the poison lingering there. He slowly lifted her hand and gently laid her beside him on a blanket. He checked her for a pulse and felt one. It was irregular, but still strong. He covered her with another blanket then turned to his friend to check the wound. "No wrap her hand first. It still bleeds." Aragorn did as he asked then turned back inspecting his wound. He cleaned and bandaged it.

"I do believe the poison is gone. How do you feel?" Aragorn asked sitting back.

"Yes it is gone. I feel good. Different. I feel cool, but not cold. Almost as if a light breeze is on me. It is relaxing." Legolas answered smiling for a moment, but only a moment.

"And the evil you feared. Do you still feel it?" Aragorn asked.

"Yes I do. But I understand it more. It is not really evil, just darkness and despair. But it is not overwhelming, just a nagging feeling. She said she lived with it every day of her life. For her it must be tiring. There is something else though. Something I can't quite grasp. I am not sure what it is, but when she is better I would like to talk to her about it." Legolas answered sitting up a little stiffly.

"By something else, what are you meaning?" Aragorn asked puzzled.

"I don't know. I feel like something familiar is tugging at my senses. Something that should alarm me, but I'm not alarmed." He scowled at his own statement, which made no sense to him.

"Well, we will find out nothing until she is better." Aragorn said turning towards the woman who had just saved his best friends life. He placed his hand on her brow then pulled it back sharply. Legolas looked at him questioningly. "She's burning with fever. I was afraid of this. I wondered if the poison would be too great for her to stand."

Legolas made his way over to where Aragorn was wetting a strip of cloth and placing it on her forehead. "What can I do to help?"

"Get the pan from my pack and boil some water. Athelas might help." Aragorn answered.

Throughout the night they worked hard to keep the woman with them. They managed to get a concoction down her that would help the fever, but there was little else to do but wait and try to keep her warm as her body began to shiver violently from the effect of the poison, even though she was wrapped in many blankets. They each laid on either side of her to try to lend their own body heat to hers.


As morning drew near Legolas sat staring at the woman. Her fever had broken a while earlier and she was resting quietly. Aragorn had finally fallen asleep a few moments before. Legolas could not sleep. The nagging feeling that he was missing something still tugged at his mind. He had a strange taste in his mouth that was bitter, but familiar. He sighed as he almost had it, but then it was gone.

He did not mean to wake her but her eyes flew open and she saw him watching her. There was something akin to fear in her eyes, as her first thought was that he knew her final secret. She tried to back away.

"It's okay. Calm down. You're going to be fine." He said concerned about her apparent fear of him.

She did not have the strength yet to sit up, but she pushed herself up so she could lean against a log that was near the fire. The fear subsided in her eyes for a moment. He didn't know yet.

"Are you all right?" She asked motioning to the now almost healed wound.

"You nearly died last night and you ask if my scratch is okay." He chuckled.

"Died?" She asked confused.

"Yes. We feared the poison was too much for you this time, but you pulled through." He paused a moment then said what he had wanted to tell her. "Thank you for saving my life. You put yourself through a lot of torment to do so. And though I am not sure why you did so much for me I do thank you for it."

"I always said that you should stick to what you're good at. I'm good at two things. Killing orcs, and saving lives, and well you're not an orc, so………." She said trying to lighten the mood, but the expression on his face changed. He looked very disturbed at her words.

"I see you're awake." Aragorn interrupted them smiling.

"Yes, yes I am." She answered still looking at the somewhat dark look that passed over Legolas' face. Her greatest fear was seen there. He knew.

She looked away then made a decision. "You know maybe I should go on my own from here." She said pushing herself up to a sitting position.

"What do you mean?" Aragorn asked feeling as if he had missed something very important.

"I just think I could move faster on my own, and am getting very anxious to be getting further north. By the time I make it to the Old Forest it is going to be hard to find a place to weather the winter months. I should not delay much more." She tried to explain.

"Well actually I meant to talk to you about that. Why don't you come to Rivendell with us for the winter? Then you can find a place to be by yourself in the spring. You would miss the worst months that way." Aragorn was stunned to see both Legolas and Atavus shaking their heads at his words. "What?"

"She can't do that. Can you Atavus?" Legolas asked looking at her.

"No I can't, and I guess you know why, don't you?" She said not meeting his gaze.

"I have a guess, but honestly I hope some way that I am wrong." He stated with quite a bit of emotion in his voice.

"What are you talking about Legolas?" Aragorn was becoming more confused by the moment.

There was a pause. Neither of them wanted to say it. "Go ahead. Tell him what you expect. It's the only way to convince him that I can't venture into any of the Elven realms, especially Rivendell." She said looking him straight in the eyes.

He did not look away from her as he said what he feared. "I don't know how it's possible, but she's part orc." There was no denial in her eyes, just complete disgust as her secret was spoken allowed, and pain. Heart-wrenching pain.

"What? Have you lost your senses Legolas?" Aragorn started to deny his friends words but then looked at Atavus. He sucked in his breath. It was true. The sharp noise made Atavus flinch.

She could look at them no longer. She hung her head in shame as tears started to well in her eyes. How could she have let herself get close to them? She had come to care so much, and now it was for nothing. If they did not kill her for the abomination she was, they at least would never want to see her alive again. "You both deserve the truth. But neither of you will like what you hear." She was trembling now. A voice inside her head taunted herself 'Weak, weak, weak." It said. She remembered those same words being chanted by orc voices when she was a child. She pushed the thought away and started to talk. "You know I was born in Mordor. But what you didn't know was that the ones who sired me were orcs. You see in Mordor the Witch King decides what orcs breed and what ones don't, but every so often they disobey and do what ever they want. That's how I happened. I was told that when I was taken to the Witch King that he had called me a genetic throwback. My genes had partially reverted back to before when the orcs had been created from elves. The genes that control my looks and attitude are elven, but I still have the orc blood in me too. That is what fuels my temper, and hatred most of the time."

She paused sighing a moment. "Unfortunately for the orcs, that temper has been completely focused on them. Even though I was born by them I have never been treated as one, by them or anyone else. The orcs who sired me were put to death immediately, and I was given to the slaves. Which was a godsend to me actually. The orcs hated me. I was an abomination, a throwback. That became my name to them. One of the older slaves who knew some of the dead languages of men gave me the name Atavus. It means to revert to a past generation. It still means throwback, but sounds a little nicer to the ears." She couldn't look up at them after her words. She was so sick of being disgusted by her own presence, but nevertheless she felt the sick feeling at the pit of her stomach. The same feeling she has felt when she confessed the same to Galen. He had accepted what she said and not judged her, but he had his own faults. He didn't feel he had the right to judge her, even if she had already passed judgment on herself long before.


Reviewer Responses: Well Deana looks like your the only one reading, but as long as I have at least one person interested I'll keep on writing. I should be able to update at least once every other day or once a day. This is the only thing I'm working on now. I hope you liked and weren't completely shocked by her secret.