New Year's Day
Boots and furry paws crunched through the snow on December 31, 2004. "Hobbes," said Calvin, turning to his companion, "Do you know what day it is? It's New Year's Eve. You knew that, didn't you?"
"No, Calvin, I was temporarily blind this morning and missed all the announcements on the news, and all the advertisements, and all the people on TV playing Auld Lang Syne! I had no idea!"
"Ok, ok, I get your point. You know it's New Year's Eve," said Calvin, as he absentmindedly grabbed a tree branch as they passed beneath it. "So, do you know what we're going to do?"
"Um, probably play, watch TV, and then go to sleep."
"THAT'S RIGHT!" said Calvin, throwing his fist in the air. "GO TO SLEEP! AT 8:30! ON NEW YEAR'S EVE! There'll be no party, no noisemakers, no champagne! Do you know why?"
"Because you're only six?"
"Because I have the most boring parents in the world. They don't even stay up to watch the ball drop! How stupid is that?"
"Really, really, stupid?" Hobbes murmured, playing it safe and answering the question Calvin wanted to hear, instead of his original answer:"Not very, because you get cranky and have morning mouth when you stay up."
"That's right! So, as official Dictator-For-Life of G.R.O.S.S, I propose that we stay up until midnight like all the other normal, functioning families and PAR-TAY! EVERYONE stays up until midnight. I mean, the town might think we're monsters or something and come after us with pitchforks and torches, which would be kind of cool, if we were actually monsters..."
"We'll get caught."
"Not if we have a plan," said Calvin, with a devilish grin.
An hour later, Calvin and Hobbes sat up in their room, looking at a piece of sketchbook paper.
"Is this going to take very long?" Hobbes wanted to know. "I want to go drink my hot chocolate and marshmallows. Is that too much to ask for an endangered species?"
"It will take a matter of minutes.Ok, here's phase one." Calvin pointed to a picture he had drawn with he and Hobbes tucked into bed. Each had one eye open and a mischevious grin on their face. "Here, we will go to bed at the regular time, and pretend to be asleep, until Mom and Dad go to bed, which leads us to phase two." He pointed to another picture, of he and Hobbes sneaking downstairs. "Then, we will sneak downstairs, which leads us to phase three: watch TV."
"Won't they hear us?"
"This is the new millenium, Hobbes! Everything has a headphone jack! We'll listen to the TV using headphones!"
"Do we have headphones?"
Calvin sat there for a minute. It was obvious he hadn't thought of that. "A-HA! Once again, your plan is full of holes."
"Nonsense.We just need to borrow headphones from someone."
"Who would have two pairs of headphones?"
"Hobbes," said Calvin, a serious look coming upon his face. "There is only one person in this neighborhood who would have two pairs of headphones. And that is..."
"Who? Tell me!"
"Susie Derkins."
BUM BUM BUMMMMM!
"Did you hear that?" said Hobbes.
"What?" said Calvin.
"That creepy music. It went-"
BUM BUM BUMMMMM!
"See? There it is again!"
"Oh. Well, whenever something scary happens, like us going to see Susie Derkins, they always have that-"
BUM BUM BUMMMMM!
"Ok, that's enough!" said Calvin, screaming at theceiling. "Come on, let's go borrow some headphones."
Knock knockknock
The Derkins' door creaked open. "Hello," said Mrs. Derkins. "May I help you?"
"Um, yes, we need to see Susie."
"Are you going to throw snowballs at her?"
"Um, no."
"Are you going to be mean?"
"No, ma'am."
"So, you're going to be nice to her?"
"No. I mean, yes! Wait!" Before Calvin could catch his mistake, Mrs. Derkins slammed the door. "Geez, why doesn't that woman work with the FBI or something? She's really good at interrogating."
"So, how are we going to get the headphones now?"
"We have to talk to Susie somehow. I have another idea."
"I don't think I should do this." Hobbes was sitting in a swing, holding tightly to the ropes. Above him,a single rope was tied to those two and swung over a tree in Susie's backyard.Calvin was holding the other end of the rope, to make some sort of pulley. "Breaking into Susie's room and stealing the headphones from her CD player and kareoke set seems really wrong."
"Look, you helped me cut the ropes off of her swing set, so you're already partly guilty. Why not go all the way, make a clean break?"
The tiger sighed. There was no arguing. "Ok, but so help me, if you let go of your rope while I'm in the air, I'm gonna kill you."
"You're safe with me.Here we go." Calvin pulled hard on the rope and Hobbes jerked up around three feet.
"Not so fast! Not so fast!"Hobbes hissed.
"Hey, do you want to wait until next year?" Hobbes braced himself, and he was up beside Susie's window in seconds.
"I can't get in!" he said. "The window's closed!"
"Hold on!" Calvin yelled from the ground. "Stay put! Heh heh." Calvin ran off.
"Where are you going? Come back!" Hobbes watched him run around to the front yard. In about a minute, he ran back around.
"Hobbes! Hold very still!"
"What are you doing? What's going on?" Hobbes said, trying hard not to fidget. He saw something large fly in front of him. Before his eyes, the window shattered. Broken glass went all over him. "Calvin, you moron!" The tiger climbed in the broken window, being careful not to cut himself on the shards of broken glass that stuck up like staglamites from the windowsill.He stared at the pink canopy bed, its covers speckled with tiny butterflies. A pink butterfly shaped rug was on the floor next to it. Stuffed animals and pictures of faires and other cute things adorned the room. "I'm going to be sick," he said.
Amid the sickening, girly, cuteness, he saw the CD player (also pink), protruding out from under a pile of dolls. Cautiously, he pulled it out, fearing he would be struck dead from the cooties any second. Hobbes pulled the headphones (Guess what color) from the jack and started to look for another pair. He opened the closet, and almost had a heart attack when the kareoke machine, which was propped against the door, fell on his foot. Hobbes reached in the box, and pulled out the second pair.
His tiger ears perked up and heard something terrifying: The sound of footsteps on the stairs. Susie! The headphones tight in his grip, Hobbes yelled "Geronimo!" and jumped out the window into the swing. Calvin, who was resting by the tree, wasn't expecting him and therefore had no time to grab the rope. The feline screamed as the swing plummeted earthward. "Got 'em!" he yelled when they reached the ground. "Hurry up! Let's get out of here!"
They didn't have time to see Susie's reaction as they dashed back to the house.
Location: Calvin's house
Time- 8:30 P.M.
"Time for bed," said Calvin's mom. Calvin and Hobbes looked at each other with knowing glances. Tonight, they walked to their room without fussing or fighting about it. His mom tucked them in, and as soon as she left the room, Calvin pulled a clipboard out from under the sheets.
"Here's the checklist. Headphones?"
"Check."
"Watches syncronized?"
"Check".
"Ok. We're all set. All we have to do is wait for Mom and Dad to go to sleep, which should only be a couple minutes..."
Calvin's eyes snapped open. He fell asleep. So did Hobbes! He checked his watch and breathed a sigh of relief. Only 11:50. Well, at least they wouldn't have to wait as long.
"Hobbes! Wake up!"
"Huh? What?"
"We fell asleep! We almost wrecked the whole plan!"
"Oh yeah. I forgot." They got up and quietly snuck down the stairs.
"Well, here we are. So far, everything is going to plan.Just give me the headphones, and we'll be all set."
"Here ya go." Hobbes gave him the headphones and flopped down in the chair.
Here is where the problems started. Although Calvin was right in saying that alot of TVs and computers and stuff have places to hook headphones, he forgot that his TV was really old. It still had knobs for changing the channel. Thus, no headphones. "Great. Just great. Well, we only have one option."
"Go back to bed?" Hobbes yawned.
"No, you quitter. Watch it with the volume on a very low level." He turned the TV on to the channel. Then he sat in the chair with Hobbes. "Isn't this cool? For the first time ever, we're going to stay up until midnight!"
"Yeah. Sure."
Suddenly, they heard something. "Who has the TV on? Did you forget to turn it off?"
"No dear. Must be-"
"CALVIN! YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!"
Hobbes's eyes snapped open. "Busted!"
Footsteps. Coming down the stairs. Very fast.
"RUN, HOBBES, RUN!" Calvin and Hobbes bolted to the door. "It's locked!" said Calvin, jerking the knob. "Quick! I'll unlock the knob. You unlock the deadbolt."
"I can't! It's stuck!" Hobbes twisted the deadbolt lock.
"Twist harder!We're almost free." The lock popped loose just as Calvin's parent's came down the stairs. "Quickly! To the woods!"
"He's going outdoors!" his Mom said.
"I cannot believe that kid." his Dad commented.
"I can!"
Outdoors, Calvin and Hobbes managed to hide in the treehouse. "Do you think they'll look here?" Calvin whispered.
"Probably."
"I need to stop being so predictable. Hey!" Calvin glanced at the watch. "It's five seconds to New Year! Let's start the countdown!"
"FIVE"
"FOUR!"
"THREE!"
"TWO!"
"ONE!"
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the two friends shouted together, giving each other a hug.
"There he is!" said a voice.
"Up in the treehouse!" a flashlight beam hit Calvin in the face.
"Happy New Year, ol' buddy," Hobbes said.
"Yeah. Better run if you want to see the next one." Andour heroesbegan the first seconds of their New Year by running away from their parents, narrowly escaping trouble. Although...not for long.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
