Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. The characters and the song.
This version of the song is written by Paul McCartney and was performed by Jem on the OC.
Maybe I'm Amazed
maybe i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
maybe i'm afraid of the way i love you
maybe i'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
hung me on a line
maybe i'm amazed at the way i really need you
She couldn't stop crying. She hated herself for crying, but she couldn't make it stop. She'd never done anything like this before. She'd never been the "bad girl"; she always made the right decisions.
Until him.
After him, she became a completely different person. She was someone her family and friends, even Roxanne, who was the queen of rebelling, didn't know.
But he knew who she was, and that was all that had mattered. He knew who she was and who she had been and he accepted it. And she thought she knew who he was.
She had never been more wrong.
She felt like such a fool for believing him when he told her he had nothing to do with that fire. He'd looked her in the eye and told her he had tried to stop those friends of his. And she, fool that she was, wanted to believe him so much that when he hesitated, she over looked it. When he lied to her face, she believed him and then she defended him. She was so disappointed in herself.
Not only had she believed him, she had trusted him. She had trusted him so much. So much that she'd... That they'd...
Just the thought sent her sobbing again.
He'd been so sweet, so gentle with her. She trusted him completely that night and felt like a completely different person in the morning. She was so glad she hadn't listened to Uncle Pete when he told her to stay away. Chris would never hurt her.
Her world had come crashing down the next morning when he'd told her the truth. She was so hurt, so angry with herself and with him. And he'd used that word, that horrible word Pete had used when trying to explain his reservations.
"I was trying to protect you."
Protect her? Meg laughed bitterly. Protect her. Right.
maybe i'm a girl, maybe i'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand
maybe i'm a girl
and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me
baby, won't you help me understand?
She didn't remember the last time she'd been so angry and hurt by one person in so short a time. It didn't matter that he tried to apologize in school. It didn't matter that he'd shown up at Beth's bachelorette party to talk to her (and in the process called her a hypocrite).
So why did it matter so much when he'd come to the wedding? Despite herself and her anger, when she saw him standing there, leaning against the wall, her breath caught in her throat. But she frowned and stalked over to him, ready to yell at him and make him leave her alone. She had been ill prepared for the conversation that had taken place.
"You're right," he'd said. "You deserve better. I want you to be happy. I just thought you should know..." She knew what was coming. Deep down, she knew what he was going to say. And somewhere, she wanted to hear him say it. To look in his eyes and know that he meant it.
"I love you."
She saw that he did. But Pete had accosted him before she had a chance to react. She knew what he was going to say, but she hadn't been ready for it. Not even a little bit. All she could do was stand there and stare at Chris while Pete yelled at him and he gave her a pleading look before walking away.
She didn't know it would be for good.
And she didn't know that later on, as she talked to Roxanne, she'd realize that regardless of everything that had happened, she loved him too.
maybe i'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
maybe i'm afraid of the way i leave you
maybe i'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
right me when i'm wrong
maybe i'm amazed at the way i really need you
Her parents would probably never speak to her again. She'd called them once and her father blew up completely. He didn't care why she'd done it, only that she had. And in the process managed to ruin her life. According to him, at least.
So here she was, in a strange place where she knew exactly no one. She never dreamed she'd have the guts leave. She'd been planning on going to college right in Philadelphia, so she could continue to dance on Bandstand (The realization that she would miss that more than she'd miss just about everything else hit her hard but didn't really shock her) and live at home.
Somehow she'd ended up almost three thousand miles away from those plans. She had no where to go, no money, and no idea what she was doing. But she'd spent two months after Chris left moping around in a kind of stupor. She went to the prom (with JJ, because she couldn't bring herself to go without a date) and ended up with Sam at the end of the night. But her heart just wasn't in it. So after school ended, she packed her bags and grabbed what little money she had and left. For California.
She'd stopped to see his mother before she left, to ask if she had any idea where Chris was. She would have gone there instead. She knew she was being stupid and childish and would probably only get her heart broken again, but she had to find him.
His mother had his address.
maybe i'm a girl, maybe i'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand
maybe i'm a girl
and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me
baby, won't you help me understand?
She was terrified. She was completely and utterly terrified. She didn't know what she might find when she went to the address carefully scrawled on a piece of paper she was clutching for dear life. He might be angry and tell her to leave, or he might pull her into his arms. He might not even be there.
But she'd never know until she tried, so she tried to get her bearings. She failed miserably and resigned herself to finding some store or hotel clerk to help her. Once she was finally pointed in the right direction, Meg started to walk.
After forty minutes of wandering around the city and trying not to get lost or kidnapped, she found herself staring at the tiny piece of paper in her hand, glancing up at the number on the door in front of her. They matched. And from all that she could tell, the rest of the address matched too.
She had no idea how long she stood there. She knew it was a long time, but the exact time frame eluded her. She wanted to knock on the door. She needed to knock on the door, to see him, to make sure he was okay. She couldn't bring herself to raise her arm.
It turned out she didn't need to. She looked up, startled and nervous, when the door opened. Chris stopped. All he could do was stare. "Meg?" he said finally. She smiled weakly at him but didn't say anything. "What are you doing here?" He cleared his throat; his voice was getting away from him and she knew the last thing he wanted was to seem out of control.
The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as she realized what to say.
"I just thought you should know... I love you."
He looked stunned, but one side of his mouth lifted in a smirk and he stepped to the side. "You want to come in?" She nodded and walked past him into the apartment.
For the first time in months, Chris let himself smile as he followed her and closed the door behind them.
