Author's Notes: Hello all you out there in the little universe! I am back for another update. Scary isn't it? It is because I'm almost like a ghost because I'm never here anymore. And it's always the same excuse. Yes, the inevitable LACK OF TIME! But who seriously has any at all these days. Anyways…enough of me rambling my head off like I always do. Let's get on with the story! Thanks to all who reviewed my last chapter! Huggles and please REVIEW again! Smile and be happy…
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X or X-2. But, I am totally fascinated and obsessed with them! Like everyone else isn't?
Chapter 7: Pending
"Rikku?" came Gippal's voice from the door. I quickly dropped the letter onto his desk and turned back to face the entrance. There stood Gippal with one hand on the doorframe and the other filled with even more papers. "What are you doing in here?"
"I really needed to talk to you," I replied stepping back from the desk. "And when you weren't here I thought I'd wait for you inside." He nodded at me tiredly and rubbed his eyes as he walked into his office. He stepped up to his desk and looked down at the pile there. His eyes widened for a split second as I backed away, but then he just dropped the new papers onto of the stack that was already there.
"Here come sit down," he said wearily to me, motioning slowly to a couple of chairs and a couch in a small adjoining room. I walked slowly through a wide door and into the small room that had large windows on each side. Large wooden shutter lined the windows horizontally and so the light that was streaming through was creating weird shadows on the walls and floor. Gippal followed closely behind me as I walked to the centre of the room and then placed myself onto the black leather couch. He sat down beside me but he kept his distance. "So you need to talk to me?"
I paused and looked down at my hands that were starting to feel clammy but cold at the same time. "Yes," I said, keeping my eyes adverted from him. "I'm not exactly sure how to put this so I'm just going say it right out." I suddenly looked up at him, my green swirling eyes holding all the emotions I felt inside.
"I want to join the rebellion." Gippal suddenly sucked in his breath as he looked at me. He opened his mouth as if to reply but then he quickly shut it and clamped down hard on his jaw. "I really believe in this cause, Gippal. After going to those meetings and hearing about what was happening outside our desert, I knew it was right." Gippal again didn't answer. Instead, he stood up and turned his back to me, walking up to one of the large windows.
"I know this is worth fighting for," I said, my voice low and quiet. "And I know I can help." There was long silence as I sat there with Gippal standing across from me, waiting to hear his words. I looked up at him, his face profiled and accented in the shallow yellow light that shone on him through the blinds. His un-patched eye glowed and I could barely make out his beautiful green iris that I knew so well. His jaw was still tightly shut closed and I could see the worry embedded in his face. My eyes searched his handsome complexion for a hint or any indication of what might have been racing through his mind at that moment as he stood in silence.
I sighed inwardly as I gazed up at him, my feelings for him being once again stirred.
And then I knew it.
I knew I loved this man with all my heart, but at that instant I suddenly realized that I might never be with him. Both of us knew it. He was going to put everything for this and I was beginning to understand that I was going to do the same. It was just too important.
Even though I wished that it wasn't that way so fervently, the happiness that I had felt that morning dissipated and I could not help but be filled with a deep sadness. We might never be together. But, even in spite that, my heart felt a longing to feel his touch and his warmth and I desperately wanted to press his lips to mine.
"No," Gippal said suddenly, his face still completely unmoving. His voice was hard and did not falter as he spoke. "No. I can't allow it."
I did not understand. My face filled with confusion and my brow began to furrow to a frown. I asked "What? I don't—I—why?"
"No." Gippal said again, this time cutting off my words.
I really didn't get it. Why wouldn't he let me join?
"Gippal," I said, lifting myself from the couch. I took a couple of steps towards him and again searched his face frantically with my eyes. "Why not?"
"You're too young."
"Too young? What?" My voice grew louder and louder as I found what he was saying more ridiculous than what he said before.
"You're just," he began again. He voice lowered to a soft whisper as he finished he sentence, as if he was gently exhaling his breath. "…too young." He closed his eyes wearily and let his head sag forward a little. I could tell he was tired and all I wanted to do was let him rest in my arms, but I knew I couldn't leave this alone.
"Gippal, I'm eighteen," I said pointing to myself, my face clearly showing that I thought this was ludicrous. "This is just absurd. You're nineteen, one year older, and yet you are one the of the leader so this whole rebellion!"
"Yes!" Gippal yelled abruptly. He finally turned towards me and I could see his un-patched eye was wide and his face filled with frustration. He quickly pulled his arms to his head as he took a few steps from the window towards the centre of the room. "Yes, Okay? I'm nineteen! But I can handle this. I know what I'm getting myself into! You barely know the top of all this and yet you say you can go out head on. But you can't! God, Rikku! This is a rebellion. That means you are going to have to go into war. Are you ready to take someone's life away? Are you saying that you can kill someone even though they may be innocent?"
His words stung me hard I was totally staggered by what he said. I suddenly found it hard to see his angry face in front of me and then I realized that my eyes had started to fill with salty tears. But they weren't tears of remorse or sadness. No. They were tears of anger and I just all of a sudden wanted to lash out at him.
"Oh! And a fifteen year old boy is more capable than I am?" I asked Gippal, referring to the young boy who had been at the meeting two nights ago. Gippal sucked in his breath and opened his mouth in protest.
"He volunteered for this!" he whispered, leaning self-assured at me. "No one made him!"
"God! Gippal!" I replied my voice getting so loud that it was starting to reverberate on the walls. "I'm volunteering for this!"
"No, you're not!" Gippal yelled back at me as he took one step forward.
I took a step towards him. "Yes! I am!"
"Rikku," Gippal whispered to me, his face full of concern. In my aggravation with Gippal's reaction I hadn't noticed how close we had gotten. Now we were just a couple inches apart and I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine. "Please." His sturdy hands grabbed onto my shoulders tightly and he started down at me tenderly. "I can't…I can't see you go out there and risk your life. They're just too strong and I won't be able to! I…don't…want…"
"Yes?" I whispered so quietly that my voice was barely audible. I swallowed hard, a lump stuck in my throat all of a sudden. Gippal's good eye gazed at me as if he was almost yearning for something. His mouth parted ever so slightly and he leaned his head closer into mine.
He was going to kiss me.
I relaxed in his grip and my eyes closed until they were only half open. My heart began to beat so incredibly fast that I could almost hear it pounding in my ears.
Why was I feeling like this? Of course he had kissed me before. So why was I now pining so much for this one kiss?
"I can't lose you," Gippal finally whispered our mouths millimetres away. I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against his, every fibre of my body exciting. He let go my shoulders and wrapped his arms around waist and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I slowly slide my arms over his shoulders and then around his neck.
But then, it suddenly stopped.
Gippal pulled his lips from mine and stumbled a few paces backwards. I looked at him in uncertainty, my face giving him a look as if to ask what's wrong. Did I do something to make him stop?
He turned his head towards the door of his office, which was still slightly ajar. Standing in the entrance was a young man, about our age, knocking on the frame. He must have knocked already and I hadn't heard it. That must have been why he pulled away from me.
Gippal walked out of the adjoining room and back into his office and signalled to the man to enter. I slowly walked up to the edge of the room and placed my hands lightly on the side of the large door attaching the office to it. Making sure I wasn't seen, a crept slightly around the edge. The young man walked to the middle of the office and showed a sign of respect by bowing slightly at the waist. This must have to do something with the rebellion.
"Adelek wishes to see you, sir," the young man said still in his bow, his voice kind of monotone.
"Tell him I will be right there," Gippal replied coolly. The messenger gave another slight bow and left. I moved to where I had been before as Gippal walked back into the room and looked guiltily at me.
"I have to go," he uttered as he came back up to me. I nodded my head and kept my eyes to the ground. Gippal smiled sweetly and put his fore finger under my chin, lifting it until my head was level with his again. He kissed me softly, just barely grazing his warm lips on mine. "Stay home. Please." And then he turned and left out the door.
I sighed as I sat back down on the leather couch, still anxious. Gippal had told me I couldn't join the rebellion and yet I still needed to. He wanted me to stay in safety but I knew me sitting here would do nothing.
I stood up and walked out of his office, out of the main building, and out into the sand. I needed to get ready. We would leave at midnight.
Everyone would be tested at midnight and everything would begin at midnight.
