Author's Note: Hmmm, well, I'm not sure how this chapter will be recieved. If you hate it, feel free to tell me about it. Any review is a good review in my book. Also, I really can't say when I'll next update, so I apologize ahead of time for that.
Hermione was waiting. "Where have you been, Ron." This was less a question and more an accusation of wrong-doing. . .
chapter 31: RECONCILIATION - letting down a wall
Ron pulled his robes tighter about himself self-consciously before stepping further into the room. He hoped that if any blood had been spilled it would be lost against the dark black of the fabric, but he wasn't sure how to respond to Hermione and so decided to stall. "Harry has the right idea, you know," he said, pointing at Harry who's head had lolled back against the couch, "you guys should be in bed." He turned as though to head upstairs himself but was stopped when Hermione spoke again.
"What's going on, Ron?" There was an edge to her voice, something that promised anger and terrible punishment if he didn't answer her truthfully. Ron felt his shoulders slump. Moving slowly, he turned back and walked over to sit down in a chair across from the couch. Looking at his two friends, he saw that Harry must have been more deeply asleep than he had first appeared. His head was tipped back and his mouth hung open so that he made a sort of gurgling, snoring sound when he breathed in. Hermione, as ever, looked alert and implacable.
Ron dropped his head into his hands and contemplated the rug for several moments. When he finally looked up, Hermione was still staring at him, unblinking, and he had the distinct feeling of being trapped. "It's just that..." He looked randomly around the common room, searching for some one thing that might free him from this interrogation. "...It's not just my secret to keep."
"Don't you trust us, Ron?"
That simple question sent a stab of fear and guilt shooting through him. After all, that was the real question, wasn't it? That was the real reason he still hadn't told his friends. On some level, he truly did not trust how they would react if he told them. Instead of answering Hermione he looked back down at the floor.
"Harry saw you with Malfoy."
The statement jerked Ron's head up and he stared gape-mouthed at Hermione with an expression of horror on his pale face. It felt like the bottom had completely dropped out from his stomach. Closing his mouth and smoothing his features into some semblance of calm too late to be convincing he managed to croak out, "What do you mean?"
At this, Hermione's stern facade cracked, her face crumpling in on itself and tears beginning to leak from the corners of her eyes. "You tell me, Ron," she half sobbed. "Harry didn't see much but from what we can tell, something very important is going on with you and You Won't Even Tell Us about it." She paused to dab ineffectually at her eyes. "I mean, you've been so pale and tired, and you're using some sort of glamour to make it look better so it must be even worse than it seems, and you're running off to meet Malfoy in the middle of the night like it's the most important thing in the world. Harry says that it looked like you were hugging Malfoy and What Are We Supposed To Think About That?! But somehow Professor Snape is involved too, but WE'RE your Best Friends, Ron, not Snape or Malfoy, so why don't WE know what's going on!!??" By the end of this Hermione was crying so hard that Ron could barely understand her and he himself was feeling guiltier by the minute, twisting his hands around in his lap so that the knuckles were turning white.
Trying to make some sort of amends, he got up from his chair and moved to sit next to Hermione, putting one arm awkwardly around her shoulders and patting her arm tentatively. Hermione turned and buried her face against his shoulder, crying even harder. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I never meant to hurt you."
When Hermione's sobs finally quieted down a bit, she pulled back and looked at him with a blotchy, tear-stained face. "We were worried about you, you know," she said quietly and it was both an admission and an accusation.
"I'm sorry," he said again, pulling Hermione into a hug, which he was happy to find was returned. He hadn't realized how much his denial of the situation was hurting his friends. Then he noticed something odd and he drew away from Hermione looking puzzled. "Umm, Hermione? Why is Harry still asleep?" Indeed, Harry was still making those gurgling, snoring sounds in a rhythm steady as a metronome.
Hermione turned, wiping absently at her eyes and looked at Harry for a moment before turning back to Ron, a wobbly half-smile on her face. "He..," her voice cracked for a moment and she cleared her throat. "He was hysterical, so I put a sleeping spell on him. He won't wake up until morning unless I take it off." Her expression was serious but there was a hint of a smile lurking behind her eyes.
Ron let himself smile for a moment, but then the moment passed and, feeling himself go cold, he realized that he still hadn't told Hermione what was going on, that she still needed to know, and that he still didn't know how he could manage to say what he had been avoiding saying for over a month. "Hermione, I..."
Hermione put her hand over Ron's, the warmth of her touch engulfing his cold fingers, and gazed steadily into his face. "You can trust me, Ron." The sincerity and faithful calm in her expression was so strong that Ron felt a wave of despair wash through him. She didn't know. She didn't know and she trusted him, and he just knew that when she found out she would know her faith in him was unfounded, that part of her would learn to hate him. Unable to bare her gaze, he looked away.
The certainty that she would never forgive him welled up within Ron until he was absolutely positive it would be so, but, along with that, came the conviction that, somehow, he needed to tell her now, before the opportunity was lost forever. "It's just...I don't know how..." Seizing a moment of bizarre inspiration, Ron plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled out the watch Dumbledore had given him a little less than a week ago. Opening it, he saw that the moon hand was nearly a quarter around the face, nearly first quarter moon, and quickly pushed away the thought of how quickly time seemed to be moving. Hermione leaned forward to see what it was and he handed it to her, without explanation, some part of him wishing desperately that the watch could simply tell the whole story for him.
After examining it carefully, Hermione looked up at Ron, question written clearly across her face. "For the phases of the moon? What...?"
Ron took back the watch and put it away without looking at it again. Drawing in a deep breath and pulling his robes once more tightly about himself, he began the story of the curse, starting with the events of a thousand years ago and working up to the night he found himself helpless in a room in Malfoy Manor. Throughout the entire narration, unable to watch the expressions on Hermione's face as the story unfolded, he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the fire behind the grate, watching as it flickered and danced, coiling up from the coals and retreating into red glowing embers. Much to his relief, Hermione made no attempt to say anything until he had finished.
"And so you see, it's our turn now. The demon lies dormant within Draco, and only by my willing sacrifice is it kept that way. It's not detention I have with Malfoy, it's just so we can meet, once a day... You're probably disgusted by the whole thing, aren't you, but...I know what I have to do. Even if it were only Malfoy who'd be affected by it, I'd still do it. No one deserves that...that pain." As his last words fell into the stillness of the commonroom, he felt a hand reach out and grab ahold of his own, squeezing tight. He looked up and saw Hermione looking back at him, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "Hermione?"
"How can you think that?" Her voice came out harsh and she bit at her lips to keep them from trembling downwards into a frown. "That I would be DISGUSTED? with you? You're a GOOD person, Ron. Brave and loyal, willing to sacrifice for what you know is right. Few others can say the same. Disgusted with the Founders I may be, they had no right to lay this obligation on countless generations, but you I am proud to call you my friend."
At these words Ron felt a tentative ray of hopeful gladness break into his heart and he smiled uncertainly back at Hermione. "Thank you, Hermione," was all he was able to respond.
Hermione frowned thoughtfully then. "But...you still haven't told me what was going on today, and, if the detentions are just an excuse, what happened last week? Did you and Malfoy really just get into a fight?"
Ron frowned, he would really rather put both days just mentioned behind him. "But don't you remember? The watch? Last week was the new moon, the first since... It caught us by surprise, is all."
"What do you mean 'by surprise', Ron? You both ended up in the hospital wing."
Ron looked away, trying to think of a way to explain it so that Hermione would understand. Finally, he said, "It's the demon that wants the blood, you see? Malfoy can't control it, especially not on the new moon. If we'd remembered what day it was we might have been able to prepare for it but, as it was, we were both caught off guard and, well, he just took a little too much, is all."
"Oh, that's all, is it?" Hermione was back into her full-swing lecturing mode, all sounds of sympathy gone from her voice. "Ron, he could have killed you."
Ron put his hands up defensively. "That's why Dumbledore gave us the watches. We won't let it happen again."
"And tonight?" Hermione was still not appeased. "You've been acting strange all day."
Ron bit his lip and looked away. "Tonight was completely different. I think Malfoy's father wanted to teach him a lesson or something. He took him away for the day so, when we normally meet, I couldn't get to him. The demon demands sacrifice once a day so it was dangerous of his father to do, but not only that, it hurts him to wait too long." Ron trailed off, not sure what else to say about it. He'd really rather avoid dwelling on the events of the evening. "I think..." but then he stopped himself.
"You think what?"
"I think Lucius Malfoy is an all around bastard," he said with false jocularity, drawing a small laugh from Hermione. He had almost said, that he thought Lucius probably wanted Draco to kill him and that's why he'd punished him today, but he decided it was probably best if Hermione didn't know about that side of things. It would only make her worry about something she could do absolutely nothing about.
Ron sighed and looked over at Harry still snoring away on the other side of Hermione. "I don't relish going through all that again with Harry. I doubt he'll be as relatively calm as you were."
"Don't worry, Ron, I'll tell him. You don't have to worry about it."
"Really?" Ron felt one burden lighten.
"Really." Hermione's smiled turned into a yawn. "I will, however, leave it to you to get him back up to bed. Sleeping like that can't be good for his neck, but I heard a rumor once that Seamus sleeps naked and I'm quite positive I don't want to see that."
Ron suppressed a snort, then stood and stretched before bending to sling Harry over his shoulder. He was quite sure that it made his friend look rather undignified but the hours he spent playing Quidditch kept him thin and light and Ron was sure that if he tried to levitate Harry up the stairs he would only end up running his head into the stone walls. Bidding Hermione a last good-night, he staggered up the stairs and into the dormitory, plopped Harry's limp body down on his bed, narrowly missing a connection of Harry's head to the bed-stead, then stumbled the last few steps over to his own bed and, without bothering to remove his robes or shoes, fell upon the soft sheets and was soon asleep.
Hermione was waiting. "Where have you been, Ron." This was less a question and more an accusation of wrong-doing. . .
chapter 31: RECONCILIATION - letting down a wall
Ron pulled his robes tighter about himself self-consciously before stepping further into the room. He hoped that if any blood had been spilled it would be lost against the dark black of the fabric, but he wasn't sure how to respond to Hermione and so decided to stall. "Harry has the right idea, you know," he said, pointing at Harry who's head had lolled back against the couch, "you guys should be in bed." He turned as though to head upstairs himself but was stopped when Hermione spoke again.
"What's going on, Ron?" There was an edge to her voice, something that promised anger and terrible punishment if he didn't answer her truthfully. Ron felt his shoulders slump. Moving slowly, he turned back and walked over to sit down in a chair across from the couch. Looking at his two friends, he saw that Harry must have been more deeply asleep than he had first appeared. His head was tipped back and his mouth hung open so that he made a sort of gurgling, snoring sound when he breathed in. Hermione, as ever, looked alert and implacable.
Ron dropped his head into his hands and contemplated the rug for several moments. When he finally looked up, Hermione was still staring at him, unblinking, and he had the distinct feeling of being trapped. "It's just that..." He looked randomly around the common room, searching for some one thing that might free him from this interrogation. "...It's not just my secret to keep."
"Don't you trust us, Ron?"
That simple question sent a stab of fear and guilt shooting through him. After all, that was the real question, wasn't it? That was the real reason he still hadn't told his friends. On some level, he truly did not trust how they would react if he told them. Instead of answering Hermione he looked back down at the floor.
"Harry saw you with Malfoy."
The statement jerked Ron's head up and he stared gape-mouthed at Hermione with an expression of horror on his pale face. It felt like the bottom had completely dropped out from his stomach. Closing his mouth and smoothing his features into some semblance of calm too late to be convincing he managed to croak out, "What do you mean?"
At this, Hermione's stern facade cracked, her face crumpling in on itself and tears beginning to leak from the corners of her eyes. "You tell me, Ron," she half sobbed. "Harry didn't see much but from what we can tell, something very important is going on with you and You Won't Even Tell Us about it." She paused to dab ineffectually at her eyes. "I mean, you've been so pale and tired, and you're using some sort of glamour to make it look better so it must be even worse than it seems, and you're running off to meet Malfoy in the middle of the night like it's the most important thing in the world. Harry says that it looked like you were hugging Malfoy and What Are We Supposed To Think About That?! But somehow Professor Snape is involved too, but WE'RE your Best Friends, Ron, not Snape or Malfoy, so why don't WE know what's going on!!??" By the end of this Hermione was crying so hard that Ron could barely understand her and he himself was feeling guiltier by the minute, twisting his hands around in his lap so that the knuckles were turning white.
Trying to make some sort of amends, he got up from his chair and moved to sit next to Hermione, putting one arm awkwardly around her shoulders and patting her arm tentatively. Hermione turned and buried her face against his shoulder, crying even harder. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I never meant to hurt you."
When Hermione's sobs finally quieted down a bit, she pulled back and looked at him with a blotchy, tear-stained face. "We were worried about you, you know," she said quietly and it was both an admission and an accusation.
"I'm sorry," he said again, pulling Hermione into a hug, which he was happy to find was returned. He hadn't realized how much his denial of the situation was hurting his friends. Then he noticed something odd and he drew away from Hermione looking puzzled. "Umm, Hermione? Why is Harry still asleep?" Indeed, Harry was still making those gurgling, snoring sounds in a rhythm steady as a metronome.
Hermione turned, wiping absently at her eyes and looked at Harry for a moment before turning back to Ron, a wobbly half-smile on her face. "He..," her voice cracked for a moment and she cleared her throat. "He was hysterical, so I put a sleeping spell on him. He won't wake up until morning unless I take it off." Her expression was serious but there was a hint of a smile lurking behind her eyes.
Ron let himself smile for a moment, but then the moment passed and, feeling himself go cold, he realized that he still hadn't told Hermione what was going on, that she still needed to know, and that he still didn't know how he could manage to say what he had been avoiding saying for over a month. "Hermione, I..."
Hermione put her hand over Ron's, the warmth of her touch engulfing his cold fingers, and gazed steadily into his face. "You can trust me, Ron." The sincerity and faithful calm in her expression was so strong that Ron felt a wave of despair wash through him. She didn't know. She didn't know and she trusted him, and he just knew that when she found out she would know her faith in him was unfounded, that part of her would learn to hate him. Unable to bare her gaze, he looked away.
The certainty that she would never forgive him welled up within Ron until he was absolutely positive it would be so, but, along with that, came the conviction that, somehow, he needed to tell her now, before the opportunity was lost forever. "It's just...I don't know how..." Seizing a moment of bizarre inspiration, Ron plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled out the watch Dumbledore had given him a little less than a week ago. Opening it, he saw that the moon hand was nearly a quarter around the face, nearly first quarter moon, and quickly pushed away the thought of how quickly time seemed to be moving. Hermione leaned forward to see what it was and he handed it to her, without explanation, some part of him wishing desperately that the watch could simply tell the whole story for him.
After examining it carefully, Hermione looked up at Ron, question written clearly across her face. "For the phases of the moon? What...?"
Ron took back the watch and put it away without looking at it again. Drawing in a deep breath and pulling his robes once more tightly about himself, he began the story of the curse, starting with the events of a thousand years ago and working up to the night he found himself helpless in a room in Malfoy Manor. Throughout the entire narration, unable to watch the expressions on Hermione's face as the story unfolded, he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the fire behind the grate, watching as it flickered and danced, coiling up from the coals and retreating into red glowing embers. Much to his relief, Hermione made no attempt to say anything until he had finished.
"And so you see, it's our turn now. The demon lies dormant within Draco, and only by my willing sacrifice is it kept that way. It's not detention I have with Malfoy, it's just so we can meet, once a day... You're probably disgusted by the whole thing, aren't you, but...I know what I have to do. Even if it were only Malfoy who'd be affected by it, I'd still do it. No one deserves that...that pain." As his last words fell into the stillness of the commonroom, he felt a hand reach out and grab ahold of his own, squeezing tight. He looked up and saw Hermione looking back at him, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "Hermione?"
"How can you think that?" Her voice came out harsh and she bit at her lips to keep them from trembling downwards into a frown. "That I would be DISGUSTED? with you? You're a GOOD person, Ron. Brave and loyal, willing to sacrifice for what you know is right. Few others can say the same. Disgusted with the Founders I may be, they had no right to lay this obligation on countless generations, but you I am proud to call you my friend."
At these words Ron felt a tentative ray of hopeful gladness break into his heart and he smiled uncertainly back at Hermione. "Thank you, Hermione," was all he was able to respond.
Hermione frowned thoughtfully then. "But...you still haven't told me what was going on today, and, if the detentions are just an excuse, what happened last week? Did you and Malfoy really just get into a fight?"
Ron frowned, he would really rather put both days just mentioned behind him. "But don't you remember? The watch? Last week was the new moon, the first since... It caught us by surprise, is all."
"What do you mean 'by surprise', Ron? You both ended up in the hospital wing."
Ron looked away, trying to think of a way to explain it so that Hermione would understand. Finally, he said, "It's the demon that wants the blood, you see? Malfoy can't control it, especially not on the new moon. If we'd remembered what day it was we might have been able to prepare for it but, as it was, we were both caught off guard and, well, he just took a little too much, is all."
"Oh, that's all, is it?" Hermione was back into her full-swing lecturing mode, all sounds of sympathy gone from her voice. "Ron, he could have killed you."
Ron put his hands up defensively. "That's why Dumbledore gave us the watches. We won't let it happen again."
"And tonight?" Hermione was still not appeased. "You've been acting strange all day."
Ron bit his lip and looked away. "Tonight was completely different. I think Malfoy's father wanted to teach him a lesson or something. He took him away for the day so, when we normally meet, I couldn't get to him. The demon demands sacrifice once a day so it was dangerous of his father to do, but not only that, it hurts him to wait too long." Ron trailed off, not sure what else to say about it. He'd really rather avoid dwelling on the events of the evening. "I think..." but then he stopped himself.
"You think what?"
"I think Lucius Malfoy is an all around bastard," he said with false jocularity, drawing a small laugh from Hermione. He had almost said, that he thought Lucius probably wanted Draco to kill him and that's why he'd punished him today, but he decided it was probably best if Hermione didn't know about that side of things. It would only make her worry about something she could do absolutely nothing about.
Ron sighed and looked over at Harry still snoring away on the other side of Hermione. "I don't relish going through all that again with Harry. I doubt he'll be as relatively calm as you were."
"Don't worry, Ron, I'll tell him. You don't have to worry about it."
"Really?" Ron felt one burden lighten.
"Really." Hermione's smiled turned into a yawn. "I will, however, leave it to you to get him back up to bed. Sleeping like that can't be good for his neck, but I heard a rumor once that Seamus sleeps naked and I'm quite positive I don't want to see that."
Ron suppressed a snort, then stood and stretched before bending to sling Harry over his shoulder. He was quite sure that it made his friend look rather undignified but the hours he spent playing Quidditch kept him thin and light and Ron was sure that if he tried to levitate Harry up the stairs he would only end up running his head into the stone walls. Bidding Hermione a last good-night, he staggered up the stairs and into the dormitory, plopped Harry's limp body down on his bed, narrowly missing a connection of Harry's head to the bed-stead, then stumbled the last few steps over to his own bed and, without bothering to remove his robes or shoes, fell upon the soft sheets and was soon asleep.
