Author's Note: Well, I actually meant to get this up sooner, but, oh well. Thank you so much to those who reviewed. Hope you like this installment.



chapter 35: ADAPTATION - coming to terms



Harry was uncomfortable. He felt like he really needed to talk to Ron seriously about what was going on but he had no idea of how to begin, and was worried that Ron would freak out all over him again if he tried to say anything. At the moment, Ron was acting as though nothing in the world were wrong and that the scene after lunch today had never happened. The only indications he gave that he might be worried about something were the occasional glances he threw in the direction of the Slytherin table and the half-conscious way he shredded his spinach rolls before eating them.

Harry sighed and pushed his peas around his plate with the end of his fork. There were several things about the whole situation that were bothering him right now, and he wasn't even sure which ones he wanted to tackle first, let alone how to broach the subject to Ron. He began listing them off in his head: There was the way Ron seemed to be pretending everything was fine, when it obviously wasn't, and the fact that it had taken him this long before he let them know what was going on. Harry tried not to dwell on that but he had to admit, if only to himself, that that hurt. Also, why had Ron seemed to side with Malfoy today, despite the fact that Malfoy had been, as usual, his prattish self? Then there was the dream that Harry had had that morning. Actually, never mind that. He didn't want to think or talk about that. If he mentioned that, Ron would just say he was getting worked up over nothing. And last was the fact that Ron hadn't actually told Harry himself what was going on. Hermione had said that he was afraid Harry would freak out about it and that he had been feeling too tired to go through the whole recitation twice, but Harry wondered if it wasn't more than just that, if Ron wasn't still hiding something he didn't want him or Hermione to find out about. Thinking of which, where was Hemione, anyway?

Leaning to the side, Harry elbowed Ron sharply to get his attention. "Hey, have you seen Hermione? She's not usually this late for dinner."

Ron shrugged and swallowed the mouthful that he'd been working on. "Maybe she's in the library. You know how homework makes her forget about everything else." He looked past Harry's shoulder and gestured with his fork. "There she is. Looks like I's right."

Harry twisted around in his seat to see Hermione hurrying over to the table, a stack of books probably nine inches thick clutched in her arms. "Sorry I'm late," she said breathlessly, plopping down on the bench and lowering the books to the table with a loud thud, "but guess what I found in the library?" Harry and Ron exchanged a Look, but Hermione continued on obliviously, all the while piling mashed potatoes and sliced ham onto her plate. "I wasn't able to find very much on the curse," Harry saw Ron flinch slightly at that but otherwise he remained still, "only a few notes about the events surrounding its creation, nothing too detailed. But I Did find this." Here she stopped concentrating on her food and pulled a book off the top of the stack, opening it to a marked page.

Harry looked at the page she indicated in slight bafflement. All he saw was an illustration of some long, tapering root, something like a carrot, with leaves at the top that folded around themselves to look rather like a cabbage. "What is it?" he finally ventured.

Hermione sighed, giving Harry a Look, and handed the book over to Ron, who looked like he was just as baffled as Harry. When he continued to look blank, Hermione jabbed her finger at the text at the bottom of the illustration. "It's a blood-root. Don't you two know how to read? Here, look." She turned the page and pointed to the next illustration, this one of someone lying on the ground while someone else held some sort of potion to their lips. "See," she said, "it's like a transfusion."

At this, the light clicked on for Harry, but Ron was still apparently confused. "A whatsit?"

"A transfusion," Hermione began in her quasi-patient lecturing tone. "See, if someone looses a lot of blood, then they can drink an infusion of this and it'll replace the blood they lost. It's a very common plant, I'm sure Madame Pomfrey uses it all the time and there's probably a bunch growing in one of the green houses here. You said Dumbledore knows what's going on. I'm sure we could get some easy and..." But by this time Ron was shaking his head steadily from side to side and Hermione trailed off in confusion. "But why not, Ron?"

Ron opened his mouth to say something but it was at this point that Ginny came hurrying over, her cheeks flushed from being outside, and dropped into a seat next to Ron. "Hey guys, you wouldn't believe how cold it's getting. What'd I miss?" Was it just Harry's imagination or did Ron shift away from his sister ever-so-slightly?

Seizing the opportunity for what could possibly be reinforcements for her plan, Hermione pouted and handed the book over to Ginny. "Look at this. I was just telling Ron that he could easily be using an infusion of blood-root to replace whatever blood he loses because of the curse, but for some reason he doesn't want to. See it would be no trouble to get, or even to make the infusion if we had to. And he's been looking so pale for so long, it's horrible. He needs to do something or pretty soon he won't have any strength left."

At this Harry heard a muttered, "Thanks a lot," come from Ron, but ignored it. After all, Hermione did have a good point, and this seemed like just one more case of Ron refusing help that he actually really needed.

Ginny handed the book back to Hermione and put a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Why don't you do it, Ron?" she asked, reasonably. "It looks like a good idea. Do you really want to go home to Mum at Christmas looking like you're wasting away? She'd pitch a fit." She laughed lightly, but Ron just scowled and jerked his shoulder out from under her hand.

"No." That was all he said but the dark, thin-lipped expression on his face spoke volumes.

"But why not?" Harry was baffled. They were only trying to help. Why was Ron getting so upset?

"We really don't want you to get sick, Ron." Ginny refrained from touching her brother again but her hands twitched in her lap in a way that suggested that she was restraining herself.

Even so, this seemed to be the last straw for Ron and he stood up abruptly, pushing his plate away. "I'll see you guys later."

"But, Ron..?" Hurt was evident in Hermione's voice.

"But NOTHING, Hermione," Ron snapped, moving jerkily away from the table. "You guys have no idea what you're talking about. You don't understand anything, ok, so just leave me alone. If I say I'm not gonna do it, then I'm not gonna do it." With that he turned and stormed out of the Great Hall. Harry turned a shocked face to the others. He didn't know how, but Ron just kept surprising him with this thing.

"Maybe," he finally ventured, "...maybe I should go talk to him?" Hermione nodded, looking glum and Harry rose quickly from the table and followed Ron out of the Hall, hoping that he would just head back to Gryffindor Tower and not wander off somewhere Harry wouldn't be able to find him.

He was in luck. When he got up to Gryffindor Tower he headed up to the dormitory and found Ron slumped on his bed, picking listlessly at the threads of his bedspread.

"Hey," Harry ventured, sitting down on the edge of Ron's bed.

"Hey." Ron didn't even look up from contemplating his shoes.

"You ok, mate?" Ron just nodded, so Harry pressed on. "What was that about back there? You say we don't understand, but you're not explaining anything to us." Ron nodded again and Harry was afraid that that was all the response he was going to get out of him right now. He stayed perched on Ron's bed though, hoping Ron might break down and actually Talk to him.

"I betrayed his trust, Harry." Of all the things Harry thought Ron might say, that certainly was not one of them.

"What are you talking about, Ron?"

"Malfoy. I shouldn't have told you guys without talking to him about it first. I knew he didn't want anyone to know about it." Saying this, Ron finally looked up at Harry. The remorse Harry saw in Ron's eyes took him by surprise. Why should he feel so strongly about such a small thing?

"But, Ron?" Harry stuttered, "It's only Malfoy. What do you care about talking to him first before telling us what's going on with you?"

"But don't you see?" Ron leaned forward intently. "It's just as bad for him as it is for me. Worse even. It's his secret too."

Harry frowned. "No, I don't see, Ron." He said succinctly. "WE'RE you're best friends. You shouldn't keep something as important as this from us just to protect Malfoy. How can you say that you should?"

Ron sighed and sat back on his bed once more. "Yes. I know," was all he said before subsiding into silence once more, his eyes drifting listlessly to stare at the floor.

Harry bit his tongue in frustration. This was going nowhere. He decided to change tracks and see if he could get Ron to talk about what had originally brought Harry up there. "Ron," he said softly, but firmly. He wasn't going to back down. "What's so bad about the blood-root? Why won't you take Hermione's advice?"

Ron looked back up at Harry and blinked slowly. It was almost as though he didn't remember the conversation they had just had. "Define sacrifice for me, Harry. Just in general terms."

It was Harry's turn to blink. "Ummmm...I guess...Giving up something for something else?"

"Exactly." Ron's voice was firm and Harry blinked again. "If I used Hermione's blood-root solution, I wouldn't be giving something up. I wouldn't be giving at all, really. And without that, Malfoy drinking my blood becomes just an empty gesture, meaningless and without any power to hold the demon. Now, I could be completely wrong about this, but my gut instinct tells me I'm not, and I'm certainly not going to risk the consequences to find out."

Harry shook his head and thought about what Ron had just said. It actually made a bit of sense. "Why didn't you just say so at dinner, then? Why did you freak out and go running off?"

Ron shrugged and looked down, looking uncomfortable. "I guess I just sort of panicked," he mumbled. "Everyone was all around me, pressing me to do what THEY wanted, and I just sort of snapped. I'm not sure why I got so stressed. I'm just tired, I guess. Didn't get much sleep last night, anyway."

"That's ok, mate." Harry smiled crookedly at Ron and punched him in the shoulder. "You've got an excuse not to be feeling the best right now. Just try talking to us next time first before you go assuming we won't understand, ok." Ron nodded, smiling slightly. "Now!" Harry jumped up from the bed and clapped his hands together. "Should we get some flying in before Hermione lights into us about our homework, or doesn't Mister I-eat-spinach-every-day feel up to it?" This time Ron grinned, rising quickly from the bed, and soon the two boys were out the door, down the stairs and racing out to the Quidditch Pitch, brooms in hand.