Title: Miles to Go
By: Ring Red
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! (pout)
Rating: R
Note: Okay, sorry for the little wait again. I couldn't get this up as quickly as expected after all. But I am getting it up now and it is WAY sooner than last time. LOL. Hopefully that wins me some brownie points.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It is great to be back and I so appreciate the comments. Please feel free to keep them coming. I wanted to get this up as quickly as possible so I'm not answering any questions this time, but I'll make time next chapter to answer some. You guys are great and you really do keep me going.
I wanted to note that this chapter is a little different than any of those before, but I still had fun with it. I hope you enjoy it too. If you don't then don't worry because we'll be back to the normal order of things next chapter. Though I won't promise not to have another chapter, or part of a chapter, like this again. But there is a method to my madness. Just trust me.
Okay, on to the chapter! Please let me know what you think!
Chapter Twenty
Lyrics from: My Immortal by Evanescence
Buffy sighed and snuggled into the arms wrapped around her. It was so perfect. Nothing could ever be this perfect. She swayed with the music and rested her head against his chest.
"Buffy..."
His voice sent shivers down her spine and a smile curved her lips. She ran her fingers through the hair at his nap. "Hmm?"
His hand stroked her back. "Are you still my girl?"
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
With a teasing smirk she pulled back and stared up into his warm brown eyes. "Of course I..." A spike of cold ran down her spine. She paused and frowned. "I..." Something was wrong. She couldn't say it.
His eyes were concerned. "Buffy?"
Her mind was all jumbled. Why couldn't she tell him? She'd always done so before. "I..." She tried to force the words past her lips, but they wouldn't come. Tears stung her eyes as they met his again. "I'm not."
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
His face twisted with pain and he nodded. "I understand." He stepped back...
"Angel..." she reached out to draw him back.
He shook his head. "Our time passed."
Buffy stared down at her hands clenched together in front of her. "I'm sorry."
"So am I."
An arrogant snort. "Well I'm not."
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
At that voice her eyes flew back up and she noticed her surroundings for the first time. The Bronze. She stood in the center of the dance floor. Angel walked slowly away. Cordelia waved him over to join her and Wesley and two vaguely familiar people at the bar.
Buffy frowned. What were they doing at the Bronze? Weren't they supposed to be in L.A.?
"Don't try to make sense of it, Love." Strong cool arms slid around her waste from behind. "It's a dream. Enjoy it."
Buffy leaned back against a firm chest. "I missed you."
"Not nearly so much as I missed you, Buffy."
She smiled. "Wanna bet?"
His lips curved as he planted a kiss against her shoulder. "Sorry. I'm all out of kittens."
A laugh escaped Buffy's throat.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
The music and his touch lulled her, but still Buffy's mind wouldn't rest. "Why am I here, Spike? Is this a slayer dream?"
She felt him shrug. "Is it? Does it matter?"
Buffy frowned. "Yes it matters."
"Why?"
She didn't have an answer. Then another piece of the puzzle slid into place. Her eyes widened. "The Bronze doesn't exist anymore. Sunnydale doesn't exist anymore."
Spike snorted. "Sunnydale will always exist to you, love. Sunnydale made you what you are. For better or worse - Sunnydale was home."
Buffy sighed and turned in his arms. She looked up into those clear blue eyes - another set of blue eyes replaced them for a moment but flickered away. "I can't fix it though, Spike. I have to let it go."
He smiled and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "I know." He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
The kiss tasted of goodbye and Buffy's tears finally escaped to trail down her cheeks. Spike sighed and wiped them away. "Now don't start with the waterworks, Slayer. I hate it when you cry."
She forced a small smile. "I can't help it. I don't want to lose you again."
The bleached blonde vampire rolled his eyes and shot her a cocky grin. "Bloody hell, Slayer, you're not going to lose me." He waved his hand at their surroundings. "You're not going to lose any of this, any of us. We'll always be there. We're a part of you."
"It's not the same."
"It never is, love." He told her calmly. "Everything changes. It's all about change." Breaking eye contact, Spike looked at someone across the room and frowned. "Now there's a change I could do without. Looks a bit too much like a nancy boy for my taste. But then you did like Peaches once upon a time. God knows he can't be any worse." He smirked back down at Buffy. "By the way, his hair's prettier than yours is."
"What?" Buffy frowned confused. Spike turned her chin in the direction of his gaze. Her eyes widened. "Legolas?" Her gaze caught and locked with her soulmate's. A sense of rightness overwhelmed her. This was what was missing. This was where she belonged.
Spike snorted. "I'll just be gettin' along then. Time to go beat the whelp at pool." He walked away into the crowd.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Buffy didn't remember her feet moving, but suddenly she was standing before him. She smiled widely and looked up to meet his eyes. The beautiful blue depths were shadowed and uncertain. Her smile melted. "What's wrong?"
Legolas' eyes flickered from her to another direction. Buffy followed the glance. She spotted Spike and Xander leaning over a pool table. She could tell they were bickering at each other even from across the room. A fond grin tugged at her lips. A jolt of jealousy shot through the soul bond. Buffy's eyes widened and she jerked back around. The blue eyes that met hers were carefully neutral. "Pest?"
He continued to calmly hold her gaze. Realization dawned. "You're really here. You're in my dream."
Breaking eye contact to stare over her shoulder, Legolas nodded.
"How?" But she answered herself before he could. "The soul bond - it's growing." He nodded again.
Buffy wondered at this new development. They were sharing dreams now? She hadn't even thought Elves had dreams. Didn't they do that waking dreams thing with their eyes open? He'd certainly never slept with his eyes closed that she'd seen. Then she frowned as she remembered some of her more graphic and horrifying nightmares over the years. She certainly didn't want to inflict them on Legolas.
"Who are they?"
His quiet question snapped Buffy from her musing. She frowned up at him. "Huh? Who are who?"
Legolas looked again toward the pool table before looking over to the bar. "Who are they?"
Oh! Buffy snickered. "They're just friends, Pest."
A wave of hurt came through the bond. "They are not just friends. The second kissed you."
Buffy felt immediately contrite. Had she been forced to watch Legolas cuddle with two other women in a dream she'd be raising hell right now. Sure, he had nothing to worry about but he didn't know that. It couldn't have been fun to watch. Buffy took a deep breath. "The first is Angel." His eyes widened and she could tell he recognized the name from their stories. Buffy nodded. "He was my first love. There's always going to be a lot of emotion there, Legolas, but Angel and I ended a long time ago. We went through some really bad stuff together and in the end we just weren't meant to last."
She sighed. "When the dream started I was back there. That's the way dreams work for humans. I was in high school again and madly in love with him. I wasn't me, Legolas, I was the girl I used to be." She smiled softly. "Then he asked if I was still his girl."
Her soulmate frowned and tried to look away. Buffy wouldn't let him. "He always used to ask that, Pest. It was this...thing with us. Even after we broke up he'd still ask. I always said yes - until now." She pushed as much of her sincerity as she could through the bond. "I couldn't say it - not even in a dream."
He took a moment to digest that information and then nodded satisfied. "And the second?"
Buffy smirked and anticipated his reaction. "Oh, that's Spike."
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
So, that was what Elven shock looked like...interesting.
Legolas' mouth gaped open and his eyes widened. "The Spike from your story earlier?"
Buffy nodded. "There's a lot to our stories we haven't gotten to yet, Legolas. Spike was the enemy when he came to town, but things changed. In the end, Spike was my second real love." That shocked him all over again. Buffy couldn't help but laugh. "I know. Took me by surprise too, but love makes you do wacky."
The Prince finally pulled himself from his shock. He looked into her eyes seriously. "And do you still love him?"
Buffy sighed. "I'll always love him, Legolas, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I had to let Spike go. When we started out, Spike was a soulless demon that fell in love with me. Then everything changed. He went and got his soul for me. Our last year in Sunnydale Spike was the one who kept my head above water. I wouldn't be who I am now or where I am now if not for him." Her eyes stung. "Then he died to save the world and to save me. I can't not love him. Can you understand that?"
He stared at her intently and searched the soul bond for his answer. Finally he nodded. "I can."
A surge of relief shot through Buffy. She wasn't sure if it was hers, his, or a combination of the two. She didn't care. She smiled widely at him. "Good." She grabbed him by the hand. "Now come on."
Legolas frowned as she began to drag him through the crowd. "Where are we going?"
"Well, we're in my dream, in my old world, with all my old friends - we might as well take advantage of it." She told him as she weaved her way through the dance floor. "First I'm going to introduce you to all my friends. Then I'm going to find Faith and Cordelia and gloat like hell. And finally I'm going to teach you MY way of dancing."
Legolas' musical laughter filled the air. "Gloat like hell?"
Buffy nodded seriously. "Oh yeah. No way have they EVER had anyone as hot as you." A blissful smile curved Buffy's lips as she neared the pool table where Xander and Spike still played with Willow, Dawn, Anya, Tara, and Oz watching nearby. "It's good to be me."
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Well? What did you think? FEEDBACK? Pretty please?
I hope to hear from some of you soon!
Ring Red
