Chapter 4

The next day brought a whole new set of problems to the table.

Jack spent the better half of the morning doing some creative investigation, watching the news, cleaning his home, and flipping through old photo albums, intent on picking up the pieces and making sense of the puzzle that was interfering with his life.

Oddly, he couldn't find any pictures from the past ten years, or anything remotely nostalgic with which he could identify. Though, he realized that he could be looking at things he'd accumulated over the past few years and just couldn't recognize them. So, aside from a few odds and ends that puzzled him, like a book on Carthage and one of Daniel's old journals, none of it made any sense.

The news, though, just confirmed his worst fears. According to the morning and evening shows, ten years had gone by, though you would never know it. Technology hadn't changed all that much, surprisingly, and world affairs were pretty much the same as they had always been. All except one of the islands of Hawaii was missing, or something to that affect.

Jack could care less. He couldn't find any of his access cards, or anything relating to the SGC at all. However, by now he'd figured that didn't really matter. It was apparent that sometime after the "incident" he'd left or been forced to leave the Stargate Program.

It seemed that no matter where he looked or what he tried, he was always left with some kind of blockade.

That was until 2:45 in the afternoon when Jack hit pay dirt.

An hour later, Jack parked his truck in the visitor center at the nearby USAF hospital. Shivering, shaking off the chill of the late afternoon, Jack made his way over to the Mental Health wing of the adjoining building.

It took a lot of calls and a lot of connections, but Jack was finally able to pinpoint where to find Daniel.

Feeling a little anxious, and even a bit angry, Jack entered the complex, casually walking to the reception desk. Two days ago he would have never expected to find himself here, contemplating strange theories of the unknown and wondering about his place in the world. Two days ago the most pressing thing on his mind had been whether to buy beef jerky at the local market. Two days ago, his weird life had at least been normal for him.

He gingerly touched the scar on his left temple, dropping his hand when the receptionist finally paid attention to him.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Yeah." Jack leaned over the counter and scanned the various items on the desk. "I'm here to see Daniel Jackson."

The man nodded, leafing through a book, leaving Jack some time to get a good look at the facility. It hadn't changed much, he mused, eyeing the sterile white walls that were touched with the smell of concrete and disinfectant. For a moment, Jack thought he could smell dirt too, but it was ridiculous, considering how neat the USAF tended to be when caring for their own.

"And your name?" the man asked him.

"Jack O'Neill."

The receptionist nodded again, but Jack didn't miss the frown that was starting to form on his face. He leafed through the book again.

Jack stopped leaning and stood straighter, trying to sneak a peek at the booklet. "There a problem, son?"

His frown deepened. "I don't see your name listed here on the visitors' roster."

Figures, Jack thought, wondering what else could go wrong. Security would be tight, he had known that before he'd decided to come down here. Daniel not only was a civilian working for the Air Force, but he worked in the most top secret of all the programs in the military. If something had happened to him, it was a sure bet that the government would keep him secure and safe. Away from prying eyes, that is.

"I haven't been here in awhile, "Jack admitted. "I used to be his old boss, back in the day." He forced one of those smug smiles of his, but tried for it to come off at least in part as genuine. "Why don't you make a few calls? I can wait."

The man paused for a moment, as if unsure whether he should even give Jack the time of day. But finally he nodded once more, and instructed Jack to take a seat in the nearby waiting room.

Still pissed that he had to go through all of this bureaucratic bull, Jack complied nonetheless. Once they cleared him, he'd be able to see Daniel, he reminded himself, and figure out what happened. Perhaps with Daniel's help, Jack could figure out exactly what had happened, and they could reverse it.

Ten years or not, Jack was still convinced this whole fiasco was a trick to bring him, his friends, and the SGC down to its knees. He wasn't about to let that happen.

"Sir?"

Jack raised his eyebrows and leaned over the counter once again. "Yes?"

"You've been cleared," the younger man replied and then pointed to his left. A large, brutish looking man had approached them, and now was waiting silently in the hallway. "Aaron will take you down to the room."

"Thank you," Jack said with another small smile, falling into step beside Aaron.

Over the next few minutes, Jack tried to get some information on Daniel's condition from Aaron, without trying to seem overly inquisitive. Aaron had fed Jack some details that he'd already figured, but at least now he could have confirmation.

Jack knew during those vital few minutes with Daniel that the man had some kind of mental deficiency. Daniel was nothing but daring. Timidity just wasn't his style. His reaction in the car…well, frankly, it made Jack's blood boil.

But Aaron had given him more of a foundation. The medical aide had told him that Daniel's mental state hadn't changed much from when they first received him, nearly ten years ago. He continued to have a limited awareness of himself and his surroundings, and usually needed to be stimulated into interacting with his environment. What shocked Jack the most was when Aaron told him that Daniel still rarely spoke.

Daniel not talking? Jack couldn't wrap his mind around that one.

When they reached Daniel's room, Jack thought he might lose his nerve. Things had already gone sour with Carter, what would happen with Daniel?

He didn't even want to think about Teal'c at this point.

But the problems remained. If Carter was angry enough to stop speaking to him over something he couldn't remember, and Daniel wasn't in a state to help at all, while Teal'c was "off-world," whatever that meant, how would Jack find a way to fix this whole mess and make things right again?

Could he?

The medical aide held him back, instructing him to wait at the door while he "roused" Daniel. Jack nodded, beginning to feel angry again, but did as he was told.

To a certain extent.

While the medical assistant opened the door to Daniel's room, Jack hung back, but peered around the corner, needing to assess Daniel's living state. What he saw, somehow, didn't surprise him.

The room was blanche, having white walls with very little decoration. There was a bookcase, a bed, a small nightstand, and shelving that housed some odd-looking knick-knacks that Jack didn't recognize. Dull. It was dull. That was a word he'd never have associated with Daniel. Boring? Yes. Dull? No way.

Aside from that, there was a chair, which had a small frail looking woman he didn't know sitting in it and two large windows. Then, of course, there was Daniel.

Jack had to admit it was a pathetic sight. Daniel was sitting on a window seat by one of the large windows, his knees up to his chest, his head resting lightly on the glass. He would have been fully wrapped into himself if not for the positioning of his arms. Stiff and still, they were folded over his chest while his immobile hands curled just beneath his chin. It was as if the world around him didn't exist.

Or, he was a caged animal longing for freedom.

"Daniel," Aaron said gently, placing a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "You have a visitor."

When Daniel made no move that he was aware Aaron was even there, the medical assistant tried again. While he unsuccessfully tried to bring Daniel out of his deep reverie, the woman who had been quietly sitting in the chair all this time, rose to her feet and crossed the room to speak with Jack.

"I'm Tiffany," she told him, extending her hand. He shook it heartily. "I stay here with Daniel and keep him company a couple of days a week." She frowned, cocking her head to the side. "I don't think I've seen you here before."

Jack cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward. "Yeah. I'm an old friend of his. I don't see him nearly enough, so I thought I'd drop by and spend some time with him."

She eyed him over once and lifted her chin. "I see."

Jack found himself clearing his throat again.

"Daniel," he heard Aaron say again, but this time more sternly. When Jack returned his attention to the two of them, he noticed that Aaron was now trying to shift Daniel away from the window, and back to reality, forcibly uncurling his stiff limbs. "Daniel, someone is here to see you."

Despite his mental difficulties, Jack had to give the man credit. Daniel was a stubborn pain in the ass, and he wasn't about to have any part of what this aide was trying to get him to do. Whether it was a fragment of Daniel's old personality or not, Jack couldn't say. But the resistance was enough to bring a smile to Jack's lips.

"He's like that a lot," Tiffany told Jack. "He just goes off somewhere else. We try and keep him grounded in reality, but he slips so easily."

"Doesn't sound too different than what he used to be like," Jack said wryly. Shifting gears, he walked past the woman and stepped closer to Daniel and Aaron. "Hey, Daniel you feel like cooperating some time today?"

Daniel never replied to him, and again, made no move to acknowledge him. However, by this time, Aaron had been successful in repositioning Daniel. He was now on his feet, leaning into the medical assistant for support. This was the first chance Jack had to really soak in the details of Daniel's face, and his whole demeanor. Suddenly, the smile that had touched him just moments ago faded, and Jack was left with the stark reality of Daniel's condition.

He was empty.

Daniel stared at Jack, his eyes, his face vacant and unyielding. It wasn't just that Daniel was locked away from the outside world. Daniel wasn't there anymore. He was gone. Completely gone.

That was a little too much for Jack to take.

Breathing out, he stumbled back a bit, nearly losing his footing. He cursed himself, wondering if it were those stupid pills he took yesterday that was making him so weak, or just the shock of the entire damn situation. Thankfully, or more embarrassingly, Tiffany was there to support him by grabbing his arm.

Aaron didn't flitch. Gently nudging Daniel forward, he motioned to Jack. "Daniel, this Jack O'Neill. He came by to see you today."

Again, there was nothing from Daniel.

"Is that any way to treat an old friend?" Jack managed to say, teasingly. When Daniel continued to stare at him blankly, Jack shifted his weight and steadied himself, moving out to touch him. "Hey, Daniel, it's me."

He calmly patted Daniel's shoulder, offering the best smile he could, considering the circumstances.

Suddenly, Daniel emitted a soft cry, shuddering away from Jack's touch. Jack watched with frustration and bewilderment as Daniel started to gasp in short breaths, his eyes wild, his whole body blown into panic. On the verge of hyperventilating, he stumbled back and dug his face into the neck of the medical aide.

Jack's immediate reaction was to reach out and console him, but Tiffany quickly held him back, pushing Jack farther and farther away from Daniel.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Jack asked, totally blown by Daniel's reaction, and panic-stricken body.

"He doesn't like to be touched," Tiffany answered with an air of distain in her voice. "At least not by strangers."

"I'm not a stranger," Jack said in mild protest. He wasn't. Daniel knew him and knew him well. He refused to believe all this talk that he'd abandoned his old teammates for ten years. "This is Daniel. He knows me."

"Well, not anymore," she snapped back bitterly. "I think it would be best for you to leave."

"What?" She had to be kidding.

"She's right, Sir," Aaron said as gently as he could. He was rubbing Daniel's back, trying to dislodge the man from his side, a gesture that was setting Jack off even more. "He's a bit upset and I need to calm him down."

"Then get him settled," Jack told him. "I'll wait."

Aaron and Tiffany exchanged a look, and suddenly Jack felt he was intentionally left out of some big joke. "What?" he said again.

"General O'Neill."

Immediately, his spirits were lifted by the few words acknowledging his military rank, but were also crushed by the voice that spoke them. With a scowl that showed he meant business, Jack turned to face the man standing in the doorway.

"MacKenzie," he said flatly.

Doctor MacKenzie didn't even flinch at his tone, that insensitive bastard, but just waited until Jack was done glaring at him. The old doc still managed to look the same, even though his hair had gone from tar black to a sleek silver, and he still had this way of looking right through a man just by peering over the rims of his glasses. It was always a less than patient disapproving look. But it seemed to work for him.

"May I have a word with you outside?" MacKenzie stated more than asked, motioning to the hallway with a tap of his chart.

Knowing that look all too well, Jack nodded and followed the doctor out the door. He wasn't going to get very far with Daniel while he was in a state anyway. Maybe by the time MacKenzie said his piece, Daniel would be up for round two.

"What can I do for you, Doc?"

"I've never seen you come down to the complex since the incident," the doctor told him bluntly.

Jack glared at him, more than willing to bet Daniel's condition was all MacKenzie's fault. Or at least he tried to convince himself of it.

"I'm not surprised to see you here," Jack muttered, blatantly ignoring MacKenzie's previous statement. He knew the remark sounded silly. Naturally, MacKenzie would be involved, but that wasn't Jack's point.

The doctor knew it as well. "I've been monitoring Daniel's mental health from the very start."

"I bet you have."

"Walk with me, General."

Muttering impatiently under his breath, Jack fell in step beside MacKenzie. The two of them walked slowly down the long corridor. Occasionally, Jack would find a patient or two wandering the halls with a caretaker or guardian, but for the most part they were alone, the corridors empty.

The place echoed of lost goodbyes.

"As you can see, Daniel hasn't recovered from what happened." MacKenzie didn't look at Jack, but kept walking straight. "His capabilities are severely limited. He is incapable of taking care of himself, though does have some independence, depending on the task. He has what appears to be some self-awareness, but it's difficult for us to completely assess just how much. He mostly keeps to himself. While we encourage him to break out of that shell of his, but…" He chuckled. "Daniel can be quite stubborn at times. He has to be stimulated to interact with his environment and rarely does it on his own. When he does, he doesn't take well to strangers or change."

Which was obvious to even a regular Joe, Jack thought, keeping his glare steady on the psychiatrist.

"Why are you telling me this?" Jack asked.

MacKenzie stopped and regarded him seriously. "I can only assume that your coming here is because you have some regrets over what happened and want to try and change things. Or even fix them."

Jack hated psychiatrists. He really did. "I came by here to see my friend. It doesn't matter if he's…here or not."

"After ten years?" He shook his head. "There's something more going on." Studying him closely, MacKenize crossed his arms over his chart and spoke again. "I understand that you've been stuck in a cycle of grief, anger, and denial for the past few years. Are you finally coming to terms with what happened on P3X-329?"

He had to be kidding. Jack had just gone through all of this with Doctor Legs.

When Jack didn't respond right away, MacKenzie got that burning look in his eyes, and Jack just knew he was going to that place all shrinks loved to go.

"Have you been taking your medication?" MacKenzie studied him closer. "Does Doctor Schneider know you're here? A man in your condition…"

So, Jack thought, he was in league with Legs herself.

"Yes, yes, apparently, I had quite the blow to the head some years back, and Daniel jumped on the same train," Jack blurted out hotly. "Whatever happened isn't important. You shrinks all love to go and dig stuff from the past that is completely irrelevant when all that matters is the present. And that's why I am here."

It was the biggest bunch of bull that Jack had laid out in awhile, but that was all this shrink was getting from him. Angry, Jack was quickly tiring of this game. If he was dreaming, he got the point. If the Goa'uld were messing with his head, they weren't accomplishing much. If it were the human replicators, well then, he hoped they died of rot.

MacKenzie waited until Jack was finished his rant, standing patiently and continuing to give him that disapproving look. When Jack just rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, MacKenzie spoke up again.

"Of course the present is important. Your coming here today is an important step in the healing process for you."

For cryin' out loud…

"I am just not sure it's the best thing for Daniel," he stated softly.

"Come again?" Jack couldn't believe his ears. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Daniel is in a very fragile state. He can't handle over stimulation. Just judging by his reaction to you, I don't think it would be best for you to come to see him again. At least, not know."

"Not acceptable," Jack told him.

"This isn't something you can negotiate, General," MacKenzie said. "Daniel is under my care and my assessment is that your presence is detrimental to his health."

"Well, you're not in charge of his life, alright?" Jack took another step closer, towering over the other man. "He used to report to me. I can make some calls."

"So can I, General," MacKenzie said, matching him in tone. "Colonel Carter acts on his behalf. She acts as his power of attorney, and has the final say on anything concerning Daniel. So I believe it would be best that we leave things the way they are, don't you think?"

What the hell? Carter was what?

Jack went to open his mouth to argue the point, but MacKenzie was already gone. The man had side stepped him, making his way back the way they'd come.

This left Jack alone again, trapped between a reality that just couldn't be true and the reality that begged to be heard.