"Pink Ribbons Undone"

She's a girl rising from a shell, Tomoyo thinks, like Venus rising from the foam of the ocean… or maybe she's just Sakura, finishing her last lap and coming out of the pool. Tomoyo sets down the digital recorder and looks at the swimsuit with a designer's eyes, mentally sketching something more flattering but still streamlined for speed. Sakura is on the middle school's swim team; it is her record-breaking time that ranked their school in the top three. They are going on to a national competition in a few weeks, so Tomoyo knows that she will be cutting patterns when she gets home.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, Tomoyo watches her best friend swim. On Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, she watches Sakura run. Sakura is also on the track team, and she still runs as fast as a fire does across a dry field. Sometimes Sakura's older brother Touya comes out on Saturdays, when he doesn't have class, to watch her, too, and then he sits quietly beside Tomoyo while Tomoyo films. Yukito comes to watch almost as often as Tomoyo does. Sakura is still a little embarrassed by the filming, but she thinks of them as a training aid. She looks at her digitally captured self for ways to improve her swimming or running style.

But today is a swimming day, and when Sakura comes out of the pool, she grabs a towel before heading over to the bleachers and plopping herself down next to Tomoyo. She towels her short hair conscientiously while looking around. "Have you seen Syaoran?" she asks. "He said that he would be here at the end of practice."

Tomoyo shakes her head, but assures, "I'm sure he'll be here before you come back from the locker room." At first when Syaoran Li came back from Hong Kong for the last time, to stay in Tomoeda permanently, he and Sakura were in a state of bliss. Recently, they have begun fighting, usually just small lovers' spats over which they made up within a few days. Tomoyo isn't sure if it is anything to worry over, but she doesn't like the way that Sakura has started to become unsure of herself.

"You're right. I'm sure he will be," Sakura replies. She pushes herself up from the aluminum bench and starts to head toward the changing room. "I won't be long, Tomoyo-chan," she calls back with a smile. "Wait for me outside. It's too nice to stay indoors."

A few days ago, when they were alone, Sakura and her boyfriend had had an argument that had been a little more intense than their previous ones. He had told her that she was as thorny as a rose, hiding her charms under a lily-white cloak. She had answered back that she wasn't ready, and that it was her right to tell him to stop. He had acted as a gentleman, after all, but reluctantly, and she thought he was still holding it against her. She wanted to be with him that way, but just not yet. Just not yet, she thinks to herself. There will be time.

Syaoran is jogging up to the building as Tomoyo walks out into the sunshine that is beginning to soften into dusk. He is holding an awkward bouquet of daisies in one hand and waves with the other when he sees her. "Good afternoon, Li-kun," Tomoyo calls out to him.

"Hey, Daidouji," he answers cheerfully. "Where's Sakura? Sorry I'm late."

"Sakura-chan just finished. She'll join us soon." They wait in less than completely comfortable silence. Tomoyo observes the hastily picked daisies and refrains from a giggle, if not a knowing smile. It's cute, she thinks. They are going to want a few minutes alone, and she knows that Sakura doesn't take long to get into dry clothes, so Tomoyo makes an excuse to Syaoran about forgetting something and turns to head back to the building. Sakura is just walking through the outer doors. When she sees that Syaoran is holding flowers, she sprints toward him and comes in for a landing in his ready embrace, beaming with happiness.

"Oh, Syaoran," she laughs happily. Her uniform's pleated skirt swirls around her like a pinwheel as Syaoran's strong arms swing her in a circle.

When he sets her feet back down on the pavement again, he smiles back. "I know what you expect," he answers.

He may only be teasing, but Sakura doesn't like his words. Her eyes flash with pure lightening. Her lip quivers. "What do you mean, what I 'expect'," she asks disbelievingly.

Syaoran looks confused. "What?" he asks in innocence. "What this time, Sakura?" At her angry hurt that is on the edge of tears, he throws his arms up with defeat. "I can't win with you. I can't do anything right, lately!"

The tears spill over the edge, and Sakura surprises Tomoyo by throwing her arms around her friend and bursting into tears. Syaoran looks at Tomoyo for any kind of answer, but she has nothing to say to him. He stalks off, away from the girls, still holding the flowers.

For a while, Sakura's arms are simply filled with Tomoyo, until her tears subside to a small sniffle. She can be sure of Tomoyo; her best friend is someone that Sakura can always count on. She lifts her head and starts walking, leaving the comfortable hug with reluctance. Tomoyo walks quietly beside her, a soothing silent companion. As they walk together slowly toward their houses, Tomoyo takes Sakura's hand in her own and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Sakura decides not to let the hand go, so they continue on hand-in-hand, the way they used to do when they were small children.

Tomoyo stops only for a few moments at the Kinomoto house. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura-chan," she says sweetly. When her friend smiles only half-heartedly, she asks, with worry, "Are you going to be all right?"

Sakura puts on a smile and nods bravely. She hugs Tomoyo again, and kisses her lightly on the cheek. The look in her eyes after she pulls away is confused. Tomoyo doesn't want to leave Sakura when she is so clearly out-of-sorts, but it is getting to be almost fully dark, and both girls know that they have to part.

Sakura walks into her house, where she can hear Kero upstairs on the Playstation, and she doesn't feel like being confronted by his energetic cheer, so she stays downstairs. After slowly taking off her shoes, she goes into the kitchen. Tonight is her turn to cook dinner, anyway. She looks through the refrigerator for something that she can assemble into a meal; she takes vegetables and some meat out and puts them on the counter. She realizes, when her hands shake too much to pour the oil into the pan without splashing, that she is crying again. She puts her head down on her arms, leaning onto the counter, and lets herself sob. Her elbow bumps the frame of her mother's picture, which her father must have left on the counter this morning after he had cooked breakfast.

Through tear-heavy lashes, she looks at the image of her mother. It is one of the really old ones, clipped from a magazine, an ad for a perfume. Nadeshiko was only a little older than Sakura is now, fifteen or sixteen, when the picture was taken; she is dressed in lace and ribbons, and she looks marvelously happy. "How did you know," Sakura asks her absent mother, "how did you know that Otousan was the right one? The one that you wanted to be with when you grew up?" She wipes her eyes and her nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

She pours a glass of water for herself. Then she sits down at the table and slowly drinks the cool liquid. "I don't want to grow up, 'Kaasan," she breaths in a sigh. "At least, not tonight." She closes her eyes, and just sits for a while without thinking about anything at all. In time she starts to feel better, as if a soothing presence is in the room with her. Feeling encouraged, she returns to fixing dinner. By the time her father comes through the front door calling, "I'm home!", she is almost back to her usual self.

Because she became distracted in her thoughts, she overcooked the soba noodles a little bit, but Fujitaka always eats his daughter's cooking as if it is perfect. Aware as he ever is of her mood, he asks her later in the evening if there is anything that she wants to talk about. Sakura smiles at his concern. "It's just girl stuff, Otousan," she replies, which earns her a wistful smile.

"You are growing up so fast, Sakura-san," Fujitaka muses.

"It will be all right," Sakura answers. "I'm going to take my time."

-o-o-o-

author's note: From the first sentence, and throughout, this is a prose version of the song "Ribbons Undone", by Tori Amos. Is it Syaoran/Sakura? Is it Sakura/Tomoyo? Are there hints of Tomouya in this? I leave it ambiguous, much like the feelings a teenage girl has when she's somewhere between childhood and womanhood. I feel a little bad about making Syaoran the "bad guy", but… you know… he's a teenager, too.