Okay so I was inspired by the quote by Donnie Darko, and thought that I would give it a try. It's a little strange, I know, but it popped into my head, and I thought it was interesting. Oh, and because I'm in denial, it takes place during the first season. Marissa and Ryan are together, as are Seth and Summer. There is no Rebecca, and no Lindsay, because I have to say, I hate Rebecca, and I'm starting to not like Lindsay either. I used to, but lately she's been irritating me. Anyway, let me know what you thought. Thanks!
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.
"...what if you could go back in time, and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?" – Donnie Darko
"Good morning sweetheart," Sandy Cohen leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his wife's lips. Kirsten didn't open her eyes, but smiled.
"Mmm, I could get used to waking up like that," she said.
"Are you going to get up?" Sandy asked, amusement tingeing his voice.
"No," Kirsten said. "No I don't think I will." She opened her eyes and smiled at him again. "I was thinking of just staying here all day."
"All alone?" Sandy grinned at her.
"No," she repeated. "I was thinking you could join me…" He leaned down and kissed her and very reluctantly pulled away.
"As tempting as that is," Sandy said. "And trust me sweetheart, it's pretty damn tempting. We need to get up." Kirsten sighed. "The boys are making you breakfast, and they're about to come up and bring it to you in bed, and I came up first to make sure you were decent." Kirsten grinned.
"Well, can you hand me my nightgown then?" She requested. "Because if you remember correctly, I am not decent right now."
"I remember," Sandy said winking at her. He got off the bed and walked over to the chair where he had tossed her nightgown the night before. He grabbed her robe, and carried both over to the bed handing them to his wife. She slipped the nightgown over her head first, and then pulled the robe tightly around her.
"Thanks sweetie," she said as Sandy slipped in the bed beside her. He kissed her and ran a hand through her blonde, disheveled hair. They were interrupted from going any further by a knock on the door.
"There they are," Sandy said standing up to open the door.
"Happy Birthday!" Seth cried as he and Ryan stepped into the bedroom. Seth was holding a tray of food, and Ryan trailed behind with a pile of presents.
"Oh thank you guys!" Kirsten exclaimed. Seth handed her the tray before plopping himself down on the bed. Ryan set the packages gently next to her, and then just as gently, lowered himself onto the corner of her bed.
"Food or presents first?" Sandy asked.
"Oh, like you even have to ask," Kirsten replied. "Presents, of course."
"Of course," Sandy repeated grinning. He produced a small box. "This is from me." She smiled at him and tore open the wrapping paper. Kirsten opened the box and gasped.
"Oh Sandy! It's gorgeous!" She said pulling out the necklace. He handed her another box, about the same size, which she opened to reveal a matching bracelet, and the third box held matching earrings.
"You like it?" Sandy asked smiling, knowing what the answer would be. She had pointed it out a week previous when they just happened to pass a jewelry store. She also just happened to mention that if someone was going to buy her a gift, something like that would be perfect. Sandy would have been a complete idiot to mess this one up. Too many years previously he had gotten her what he thought she might want, only to find out that what he thought and what was reality were very far off from each other.
"I love it," she grinned at him and leaned in and gave him a kiss. Seth allowed the kiss to last a few seconds and then cleared his throat.
"That's enough," he told them handing his mother a box. "This is from me and Ryan."
"Actually," Ryan spoke up. "It's just from Seth. I got you my own present." Seth looked at him with confusion written on his face, but Ryan just shrugged in return.
"Okay, fine then," Seth corrected. "It's just from me. Happy birthday." Kirsten opened the present to find her favorite perfume, she had assumed that Sandy had helped him out with that one, and another package revealed a CD from some band that Kirsten had never heard of. "That's supposed to help you cultivate better music taste."
"Thank you sweetheart," Kirsten said and Seth allowed her to give him a hug. It was Ryan's turn, and he looked somewhat embarrassed as he handed her the wrapped present. It was flat, and she glanced over at Ryan bewildered.
"It's just…something small…I…" He trailed off, and refused to meet her eye. Kirsten opened the paper and pulled out a gorgeous picture frame. But it wasn't the picture frame that caught her eye and made her eyes tear up, it was the picture inside.
It was Ryan. Only younger.
He looked to be about eight or nine, and he was standing with his hands shoved into jeans pockets, squinting in the sun, his hair even blonder, but with the same wary and slightly cynical look that he had now.
"Oh Ryan…" she started.
"I just figured…you might want a picture of me when I was little. I called Teresa's mom and asked her to mail it to me." He noticed the tears in her eyes, and immediately berated himself silently for giving her such a terrible present.
"I'm sorry, it's stupid…I'll…"
"No," Kirsten interrupted. "I love it, thank you so much honey." She leaned over and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly. There was a silence that fell over the four, until finally Sandy spoke up.
"You better eat your breakfast honey, before it gets cold," he suggested. Kirsten nodded, and smiled at the breakfast that they had made for her. As she ate, and Seth rambled, she noticed that Ryan was quiet, but seemed relieved that she had liked his present.
"Thank you so much," Kirsten said after she was done.
"No problemo," Seth replied. "Happy birthday." He took the tray, and leaned in and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek.
"Happy birthday," Ryan echoed.
"Thank you Ryan." The boys left the room and closed the door behind them leaving just Sandy and Kirsten alone.
"I should get up and shower," Kirsten said throwing her legs over the side of the bed.
"Need some company? Besides," he crossed over to her. "I still need to give you your birthday kisses." Kirsten laughed, took his hand and led him into the bathroom closing the door behind her.
Happy birthday indeed.
The doorbell rang, and Ryan, since he was the only one dressed and ready for the party, ran to answer it. Caleb stood there, and he gave Ryan a nod as he stepped inside the house.
"Where's the birthday girl?" Caleb asked.
"Right here," Kirsten spoke up as she appeared in the living room. She looked gorgeous. Her blonde hair was curled and fell onto her shoulders, and she had opted for a blue dress that matched her eyes perfectly.
"Happy birthday Kiki," Caleb said giving his daughter a hug and a kiss. He handed her a present and she thanked him and led him into the house.
"Ah, I thought I heard your voice," Sandy said coming down the stairs.
"Sanford," Caleb acknowledged.
"Cal," Sandy echoed in the same tone that Caleb had said his. Kirsten placed a hand in Sandy's and gave it a squeeze, and he remembered that he had promised to be on his best behavior with Caleb that night. It was part of his birthday present to her. "Can I get you a drink?" Kirsten shot her husband a grateful smile, and he gave her hand a squeeze back. He led Caleb away to where they had the bar set up, and Kirsten went back to finish putting her new jewelry on before the rest of the guests arrived.
When the doorbell rang again, it was Seth who answered.
"Hey Cohen, where's your mom?" Summer asked as soon as she stepped in the door with Marissa.
"Well, hello to you too darling," Seth replied sarcastically. Kirsten appeared on the stairs.
"Happy birthday Kirsten," Marissa said smiling.
"Happy birthday! I love that dress!" Summer squealed.
"Thank you girls," Kirsten beamed back at them and Seth rolled his eyes. When Kirsten walked away, Seth turned on Summer.
"Way to suck up to my mother."
"I'm not sucking up," Summer defended. "It's a gorgeous dress, and it's her birthday. And besides, she may be my future-mother-in-law, it's good to start to foster a good relationship for the future." The three walked out to the back where the party was and where Ryan was watching on amused as Sandy tried to retain his cool with Caleb. Kirsten walked over to her husband and father and Sandy slipped his arm around her waist. He knew that once most of the guests started to arrive, he would get very little time again with his wife. Not that they hadn't had some time before the party. They ended up having to shower twice, and for once Seth didn't mention that he hadn't seen his parents all morning. Maybe it was because it was Kirsten's birthday. Maybe it was because he hadn't let himself think about what was going on in their bedroom.
When Caleb walked away to replenish his drink, Sandy murmured into Kirsten's ear.
"You look beautiful tonight, did I mention that yet?" She blushed a little, and was amazed that after all these years, his compliments still sent a shiver down her spine.
"You might have," she grinned at him.
"Kirsten!" They were interrupted by the first set of Newpsies arriving, and Kirsten leaned in and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek before being led away to what Sandy had years ago named the "throes of darkness." He watched as she embraced Cookie, or Kitty, or something that ended with a "y" and wasn't actually a name, and then he went to refill his drink.
It was going to be a long night.
"Ahh," Kirsten said taking off her shoes and rubbing her feet. "I'm so exhausted." Sandy came behind her, and began to massage her shoulders. He lowered a kiss onto her shoulders.
"Did you have a nice birthday?" He asked.
"I did," she smiled. He stopped massaging and began to change into his pajamas. Kirsten stood up and slipped off her dress and rummaged through her dresser for something to wear to bed. Her eyes caught the picture of Ryan that she had set on top and she stopped what she was doing.
"What's the matter?" Sandy asked noticing the look on her face. She sighed.
"I wish…look at him in this picture Sandy," Kirsten said picking it up. "Look at the look on his face. It's like…he's already seen too much in the world. He's eight! I just..." She trailed off, and looked at her husband. "I wish we would have gotten to him sooner. I wish…I wish that he was really ours and that he never had that look. He never had to see the things that he saw." He crossed over to her and pulled her close to him.
"I know sweetheart," Sandy whispered into her ear. "I wish that too." Kirsten let out a shuddering sigh and buried her head into Sandy's sweater.
Sometimes she forgot that Ryan didn't belong to her. Sometimes she forgot that he had spent the majority of his life with other people, and that the damage that they had done was irreparable.
She wished that she could take away his past. She wished that she could go back and time and replace all the terrible things that he had seen and had happened to him in his life. She wished that Ryan was her son, by blood.
"Let's go to bed," she said finally. She placed a kiss on her two fingers and then placed her fingers over top of the little Ryan in the picture.
The next morning, Kirsten woke up alone in her bed. Sandy had mentioned hitting the waves so she wasn't surprised. She got out of bed and pulled on her robe and headed down to the kitchen. Both Ryan and Seth were eating cereal, slurping it in at an alarming speed.
"Good morning boys," she said smiling at them.
"Morning," Seth mumbled. Ryan raised his hand slightly in greeting. The back door opened and Sandy came in. He went to Kirsten and gave her a kiss good morning, to which both Seth and Ryan groaned at. Kirsten was slightly surprised. Ryan usually didn't participate when Seth whined about his parents.
"Morning honey," Sandy said as he reached for the coffee pot. "How's the day after your birthday shaping up to be?"
"Well I woke up alone," Kirsten said smiling at him so that he would know that she was teasing. "So not the greatest."
"Hey, Summer's skipping school today, and Marissa's mad at me, so can one of you drop us off at school this morning?" Ryan asked.
"I have a meeting," Sandy said shrugging.
"Mom?" Ryan turned to Kirsten and she was so startled that she almost dropped her coffee mug.
Mom? He had called her mom? There had been no hesitation, there had been no awkwardness. It had simply rolled off his tongue as if he always called Kirsten that.
"Um…what?" She looked at Sandy and Seth to see if they had any reaction to that word, but Seth continued to eat his cereal, and Sandy was fixing himself a bagel.
"Can you drop us off at school?" Ryan repeated.
"Oh yes, sure," Kirsten nodded. Ryan grinned.
"Dad?" Ryan questioned Sandy, Kirsten felt her heart thud in her chest. Dad. Mom. What was going on? Why wasn't anyone else confused by this? "Tonight? Harbor versus Greenfield?" What was he talking about? Soccer? He had quit soccer after Luke moved away.
"I'm there, kid," Sandy said smiling. "Maybe I'll even talk your mom and brother into going."
"Doubt it," Seth spoke up. "I've been to enough of those games over the years. I've done my time. I only show up for championships now." He got off the stool. "I better go finish getting ready."
"Yeah, me too," Ryan chimed in, and instead of heading towards the pool house, he followed Seth up the stairs, and they could hear them arguing good-naturedly about Ryan's soccer game.
Sandy looked over at his wife concerned.
"Honey? What's the matter?"
"Ryan…he called me mom…"
"Well, yeah," Sandy said laughing a little bit. "He usually does. You did give birth to him. Sure there was that short period when he was thirteen that he thought it would be cooler to call you Kirsten, but…" He trailed off and lifted his hand to her forehead. "Are you okay? You look sort of pale. Why don't you go back to bed? I'll just call and tell them I'm going to be a little late and take the boys to school." Kirsten was numb, she managed to nod slightly and headed towards her bedroom. Pausing in the living room, she noticed the pictures for the first time.
Ryan when he was five with his arm resting on Seth's shoulders as the two grinned into the camera. Kirsten holding two babies in her arms looking exhausted but happy in the hospital. Ryan and Seth in little suits when they were eight. Ryan in his soccer uniform at age thirteen.
Kirsten's head spun and before she knew it the world turned black and she hit the ground.
So that's the start. A little strange, I know, but let me know if you like it so far, and if you think it's interesting or not. Anyway, review please! Thanks!
