Thank you so much for reviewing, you guys are so incredibly amazing, and I love you all. Truly I do. Please let me know what you thought, and can somebody tell me whether or not it's a new episode this week? I didn't think it was, but then the TV listings in my newspaper said that it was. I'm so confused. Let me know what you thought of this chapter though, and please let me know if it's new! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't so much own the characters. But thanks for asking.


Isn't this what you've always wanted?
Isn't this how you've saw the view?
Careful what you wish for,
It just might come true
Might come true - Meredith Brooks


Kirsten woke up and felt Sandy's arms around her. She glanced at the clock. It was going on ten-thirty; the two of them hadn't slept in like this in such a long time. Of course, after Ryan had come home, sleep had eluded both her and her husband until going on three-thirty. Kirsten yawned and carefully slipped out of Sandy's arms. Despite taking every precaution to make sure she didn't wake him up, Sandy's eyes opened and he smiled lazily at her.

"Where are you going?" He questioned. "I was quite comfy." Kirsten smiled back at him and ran a hand down his cheek. He needed to shave.

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's getting late though, we should get up."

"And deal with our son?" Kirsten nodded and Sandy sat up and pulled her hand so that she sat back down on the bed and gave a kiss to her bare shoulder. "He's a good kid, honey, just remember that." Kirsten nodded, unconvincingly and rose to her feet.

He was a good kid. But it was starting to seem that in her world, he was a better kid. She shook her head, that wasn't fair. Everyone made mistakes.

"Let's go," she requested slipping her robe on and reaching out her hand for Sandy to take. When the two appeared in the kitchen holding hands, Seth looked up.

"Uh-oh, you are in big trouble," he told his brother. "The parents have formed a united front."

"Seth," Sandy warned as he let go of Kirsten's hand and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Can you please excuse us for a minute while we talk to your brother?" Seth shot Ryan a sympathetic glance before hurrying out of the room, thankful that for once he wasn't the target of a parental rant.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said when Seth was gone. Kirsten silently sighed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, getting some sleep had knocked some sense into her son. "I shouldn't have been drinking, and I shouldn't have driven home." He looked up as if he was hopeful that his parents would lighten the grounding sentence, but it was to no avail.

"Well, you'll have three weeks to think about it, and about how you won't do it again," Sandy reminded him. Apparently, his parents stood firm on the punishment.

"Do you understand that you could have gotten yourself killed?" Kirsten said placing her hands on the counter.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Ryan said. "I wasn't thinking." It seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

"You weren't thinking?" Kirsten repeated angrily. "You weren't thinking? That's your excuse! Ryan, do you…." She paused and took a deep breath. "Ryan…I love you, and if something happened to you…I would…God, I don't know what I would do. Please think next time."

"I will, I promise," Ryan nodded. "I'm so sorry." He stood up and wrapped his arms around his mother. Kirsten wasn't used to unexpected displays of affection from Ryan, and was taken aback, and then remembered that this was normal, and hugged him back tightly. "I love you too, Mom." He let her go, and grabbed a bagel. Ryan was halfway out the door, when he turned back around and grinned at his parents.

"Hey, since I'm grounded, does that mean that I don't have to go to this stupid fundraiser tonight?" He asked. Sandy had to chuckle, but he shook his head.

"No, I think that it means that under no circumstances, do you get out of going tonight," Sandy told him. Ryan shrugged.

"It was worth a shot," he replied.

It surprised Kirsten that there was a fundraiser that night.

It shouldn't have surprised her, after all this was Newport. But what surprised her wasn't the fact that there was one, but the fact that in her world, there was also supposed to be one. The whole family was supposed to go, and Sandy had told Seth and Ryan not to complain about it as a birthday present to her.

"What time is this thing again?" Sandy asked as he sliced himself a bagel.

"Um, seven-thirty," Kirsten replied. He nodded as he pulled the milk out of the refrigerator.

"That went better than I expected it to," Sandy said.

"Yes it did," Kirsten agreed. "I think I'm going to go take a shower."

"Want some company?" Sandy grinned.

"Always," Kirsten replied, his grin infectious. Sandy abandoned his bagel and followed his wife out of the room and they shut their bedroom door and locked it behind them. As Kirsten was running the water, her mind swirled.

"Mommy?" Kirsten was giving Seth his bath. The boys were about four, and she was squeezing the shampoo on Seth's curly hair, when he tugged on her sleeve.

"What Seth?" she asked as she pulled up her now wet sleeve and shampooed his hair.

"Ryan said that horses don't like water, and that I shouldn't bring Captain Oats in here or else he'll drown," Seth repeated what his brother had told him, and Kirsten smothered the smile that threatened as she answered Seth.

"Honey, you can bring whatever toy you would like to play with in here," Kirsten assured her son. Ryan was getting dressed with Sandy. They had tried to give them baths at the same time, but it usually ended up with both Kirsten and Sandy completely drenched and frustrated. So they had taken to giving one boy a bath at a time. Sandy had gone first with Ryan, and now it was Seth's turn. "Captain Oats is a pretty good swimmer I think, so he'd be okay.

Seth seemed to consider this for a minute. He finally nodded.

"I think you're right Mommy," he told Kirsten. She had to laugh a little bit, and was washing the shampoo out of his hair when the phone rang.

"Kirsten?" Sandy called. "It's your mom." He walked into the bathroom.

"Can you finish his bath?" Kirsten asked taking a pajama clad Ryan out of Sandy's arms and heading down to the kitchen to talk to her mother. She placed Ryan in the living room with Power Rangers on, and stood at the kitchen counter where she could keep an eye on him.

"Hello?"

"Kirsten? Darling, how are you?" She smiled at the sound of her mother's voice. Kirsten loved Berkeley. She loved living there, Sandy loved his job, and they were putting away a little money each month so that Kirsten could open an art gallery, but she missed her mother. She adored her mother.

"I'm good," Kirsten replied.

"Sandy? The boys?"

"Sandy and the boys are good too, we're actually in the middle of bath time," Kirsten said.

"Oh, do you need me to call back?"

"No, no, we've got it under control," Kirsten assured her mother. "Ryan's done, and Sandy's finishing up with Seth as we speak."

"Honey, are you sitting down?" Katherine Nichol was known for her straightforwardness, and she didn't waste any time getting to the point of the phone call.

"What's the matter?" Kirsten asked gripping the counter for support. She listened to her mother's reply, and then felt her legs go weak underneath her. She fell to the ground, and was only slightly aware of Ryan's screaming for his father.

Sandy was drying Seth off when he heard Ryan's panicked cries.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Sandy took the stairs two at a time, with Seth wrapped in a towel trailing behind. Sandy found his wife on the floor shaking and crying, and picked up the phone.

"Kate?" He asked pulling Kirsten into his arms at the same time.

"Sandy? What happened? Is she okay?" Kate demanded. "I knew I should have waited to tell her."

"Kate, we're going to have to call you back," Sandy said and hung up the phone and gathered his wife in his arms and took her into the living room where Ryan was still wailing.

"Is Mommy okay?" Seth asked nervously.

"Kirsten honey? Are you okay?" Sandy asked her. Kirsten shook her head.

"My mom is sick," she said regaining her composure. "She has ovarian cancer. She said there's not much they can do about it, they didn't catch it in time." Sandy sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh God, sweetie," he said pulling her close to him again. Kirsten seemed to notice for the first time that Ryan was crying.

"Oh honey," she said pulling him into her lap. "Mommy didn't mean to scare you." Ryan calmed down as his mother ran a hand up and down his back. Sandy picked up Seth, who was shivering in his wet towel and wrapped a blanket around his wife and sons. He put his arm around the three of them and whispered into his wife's ear that it would be okay, as both her and Ryan finally calmed down and stopped crying.

"You okay there honey?" Sandy asked rubbing a hand down Kirsten's back breaking her out of her reverie.

"Oh, I was just remembering when my mom called to tell me that she was sick," Kirsten said shuddering at the memory of losing her mother.

"I'm sorry baby," Sandy said pulling her close to him. She shook her head and tried to smile at him.

"It's okay," she assured him as she pulled away and started to undress. "What's happened, happened. There's no point in trying to wish it away."

But wasn't that what she had done with Ryan? She had wished that she had given birth to him, and the next thing she knew she was awake and her wish had come true. She had wished for something, and it had happened.

And she was trying so hard to ignore that little voice in her head that had popped up, and been especially loud the night before when they were dealing with Ryan. That little voice that kept repeating.

Be careful what you wish for.


"You look gorgeous," Sandy said leaning in and giving his wife a kiss on the cheek. They were waiting for both boys so that they could leave for the fundraiser.

"Thank you," she beamed at him. And Seth appeared on the steps.

"Ready to go kid?" Sandy asked. Seth nodded.

"I told Summer that she could ride with us, that's okay right?" Seth asked.

"Sure," Kirsten said. "Is your brother ready?" Seth shrugged.

"I haven't really seen him all day. Just long enough for him to complain about being grounded," Seth told her. The doorbell rang and Seth opened it and Summer came in.

"Thanks for letting me tag along," Summer said. "I hate going to these things by myself, and my dad is out of town, and my stepmother is passed out, and Coop isn't going."

"She's not?" Kirsten asked as Sandy handed her purse to her. Summer shook her head.

"She doesn't feel up to it," she said in a melodramatic voice. Kirsten smiled slightly.

"Ryan!" Sandy yelled up the stairs. "We're leaving. You have a minute and a half to get down here."

"I'm coming," was the reply.

"So big anniversary coming up, any plans?" Sandy asked Summer. Kirsten looked at Summer.

It hadn't occurred to her that things would play out differently between Seth and Summer. Seth must not have been quite the loner that he was, because he had Ryan growing up. So how long had her son and Summer been dating?

"Well, three years is a long time," Summer said. "We've been dating since we were, what? Thirteen. My first boyfriend." Seth grinned.

"Your only boyfriend," he reminded her.

"No, I dated Will Evans in third grade," Summer argued.

"That doesn't count I don't think Sum," Seth told her. Summer shrugged. "I made us dinner reservations at the Arches."

"You knew that honey," Kirsten said suddenly. "I made the reservation for him." She covered her mouth with her hand, first because she was amazed that she knew that, and secondly because she was fairly sure that she wasn't supposed to tell Summer. Seth shook his head, but he was smiling slightly, and Summer smiled at Kirsten.

"It's okay," she told her. "I figured that he had some help with the plans."

"Can we go before Mom spills any more of my secrets?" Seth requested.

"Ryan!" Sandy yelled up the stairs. "Now!"

"Are we still on for shopping tomorrow Kirsten?" Summer asked. Yet another surprise for Kirsten. Sure, she had always liked Summer, and they had always gotten along, but she had never gone shopping with her.

Then again, in this world Summer had been Seth's girlfriend for three years. They were presumably a lot closer than they were in her world. Summer was missing a mother figure in her life, and Kirsten probably had been filling that role for some time now.

"Of course honey," Kirsten said. "I'm picking you up right?"

"Yes, around eleven-thirty," Summer reminded her. Ryan appeared finally adjusting his tie.

"Can we go get this thing over with?" He scowled. He walked out of the house to the car and Sandy leaned in and whispered in his wife's ear,

"Teenage hormone alert." No kidding, she wanted to tell him. Ryan was a completely different person from the remorseful kid that she had seen that morning at breakfast. She sighed and Sandy placed a hand on the small of her back and led her out to the car.

She could tell already that it was going to be a long three weeks.


"Ryan, don't be so stupid!"

"Seth! I swear to God," she heard from the living room. Kirsten had just gotten home from a lovely time shopping with Summer, and had curled up in her bedroom with a book when she heard the yelling from downstairs. She hurried down to the living room and found both her sons standing face to face, Ryan breathing angrily and Seth's arms crossed.

"What is going on in here?" She asked looking from one to the other.

"Nothing," Ryan said taking a deep breath. He muttered the last part, but Kirsten heard it anyway. "Seth's just being a dick." Kirsten's mouth dropped open.

"Excuse me?" Seth and Kirsten said it at the same exact time. Ryan feigned innocence, and pretended to not know what they were talking about.

"Apologize to your brother," Kirsten instructed.

"Why? I didn't do anything," Ryan argued.

"Ryan, I heard you, apologize."

"Oh right, because I forgot, Seth never does anything wrong, Seth's perfect," Ryan sneered.

"Dude," Seth said shaking his head. "Just because you screwed up and are grounded and now can't go to Luke's party doesn't mean that you should take it out on me."

"Ryan," Kirsten was seething, and she wished that Sandy was here with her. "Apologize to your brother. Now."

"Mom! He's being a complete pain, he knows that I can't go out and he loves to keep reminding me of that." That did sound like Seth, as much as Kirsten hated to admit it, and she turned to look at her son to see if that was the truth.

"Well, then you both need to apologize," Kirsten said.

"Mom!" Both boys opened their mouths at the same time to complain, and before she knew it, they were taking swings at each other. She wasn't completely sure which one had started it, but she knew that it was Ryan's fist that eventually ended up connecting with her face just Sandy ran in trying to help her stop it.

As soon as he realized that he had hit his mother, he stopped.

"Oh God! Mom! I'm so sorry," Ryan said as Kirsten's hand flew up to her face where she was sure she was going to have a black eye. Sandy was fuming, and pulled his wife away from his son and out into the kitchen where he got her an ice pack.

"Both of you," Sandy yelled. "Into the kitchen now." Kirsten had never heard him with such authoritativeness and anger in his voice. Well, not towards her sons at least. Both boys made their way sheepishly into the kitchen. "Apologize to your mother now."

"I'm sorry," Ryan said.

"I'm sorry Mom," Seth echoed. Sandy sighed and held the ice pack up to her face.

"Go to your rooms," he said and the two boys hurried out of the kitchen. Sandy pulled the ice away and touched her gently, and she winced. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," Kirsten replied sarcastically. Sandy placed the ice back and ran his free hand through her hair and then placed it on the other side of her face, and Kirsten closed her eyes and rested her head against the palm of his hand.

"What happened?" He asked softly he removed his hand and let her lean into him.

"I'm not sure," Kirsten said. "I came in and they were fighting, and Ryan called Seth a dick, and Seth was teasing Ryan about being grounded, and when I asked them to apologize to each other, things got out of hand and next thing I know, wham! Right in the face." Sandy nodded, he had heard the commotion fromthe front halland dropped his briefcase and hurried in just in time to see his wife get clocked.

"Boys will…"

"Don't say it," Kirsten said. "Don't say boys will be boys." Her boys never fought. Seth and Ryan were the best of friends. Stupid arguments, sure, but nothing like this.

"I'm sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, I used to fight with my brother all the time," he shrugged and leaned and kissed her on the cheek.

"Like this?" Sandy nodded. She sighed. It didn't have to be like this, she wanted to tell Sandy. Seth and Ryan could get along perfectly well. There was no reason that they couldn't.

Except, of course, in this world they weren't just best friends. They were far too competitive in this world. In her world, there was no need to be. Seth knew how his parents felt about him, and Ryan was too unsure of his place in the family to have a conflict like this.

Kirsten closed her eyes and wished for the first time that she could go back.


Okay, so review again please and let me know what you think! Thanks! It's snowing, but it's not sticking to the ground, and that bums me out because I want class to be cancelled tomorrow. It's not going to happen, and I know this, but I can't help but continue to wish for it to anyway. Although, I guess I should learn from Kirsten, and be careful of what I wish for right? Please review! Thanks!