This chapter is leading up to getting to somewhere, if that makes sense anywhere but in my head. I'm also very proud of myself, because I pulled out my copy of the Clow book, and then put the cards in approximate order that they're going to, or already have, appeared to Kyo. Before, I had kinda been winging it… Either way, chapter!
"Kyo?"
I turn from my place near the door and give Yuki a stern look. "Go back to sleep."
Yuki sits up, looking a little sleep-dazed. He'd been very reluctant to give up the extra warmth provided by my body this morning, subsequently waking him up even when I was trying not to.
I accidentally slept in Yuki's bed last night. I didn't mean to, but I fell asleep, missed dinner, and only woke now. That was uncomfortable on so many levels. Yuki was sleeping on top of the sheets while I slept under them, but he was still spooned to my back like some sort of limpet. The first thing I thought was 'mmm… warm…', followed shortly by: '%&%$#!?!' or something close to it. No coherent thoughts, as my brain went immediately on the fritz, and it took all my restraint not to just go medieval on my bed partner.
I weaselled myself out of Yuki's grip, and scampered across the floor of his room in a way that I thought was quiet, but evidently not quiet enough.
My cousin gives me a suspicious look from underneath mussed but still wonderful and fine ash-grey hair. The sort of hair that you can run though a bush then comb without any tangles. The sort of hair they make those annoying commercials about. The exact opposite to my temperamental hair type, which reminds me of sunset-coloured straw.
"Isn't it a bit early to be out of bed?"
I notice that he makes no mention of the sleeping arrangements for the night before, and my eyes narrow. "Don't worry yourself, it's only six. You've got at least three hours of solid sleep until you usually get up. Go to sleep."
He shakes his head stubbornly. "Come here first."
"No. I want to go for a run."
Yuki gives the sigh of a mother with a child that's being stubborn. "Come here."
While the mouse may have eternal patience, mine is fading quickly. "Go back to sleep!"
"Not until you come here."
I sigh, and stomp back over to the bed. "What?!"
I pair of strong arms wind around my waist, and I'm suddenly pulled back into the bed with an indignant cry. The sheets flop back over us, and Yuki is attached once more to my back.
"There. Isn't this nice?"
"Yes. It's fucking peachy. Let go now!"
This only seems to make the arms around me tighten. Yuki nuzzles the side of my neck. "You know, some find it quite wonderful to be able to sleep in,"
I wrinkle my nose slightly, even though I know Yuki can't see it. "Staying in bed when I'm awake's too lazy. I prefer to be active."
"You know," Yuki presses himself flush against me and I feel heat rising in my cheeks, "there are plenty of ways to be active without leaving this room,"
I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "Pervert!"
"Mm." Yuki responds by pressing his warm, soft lips against my shoulder blade.
My body relaxes against him without meaning to, and I mentally berate myself for being so susceptible to Yuki's charms. Bad teenage hormones. Bad… nghh…
Tongue usage should be illegal.
My neck arches even as I reach my arms up over my head to bat at the top of Yuki's head, finally landing a glancing blow that makes Yuki stop teasing.
"Quiddit! I swear, sometimes you're worse than that annoying dog!"
The arms around me slacken, and I get a momentary feeling of triumph.
"Hey Kyo? Do you know Haru's number?"
I turn as far as I can, give Shimo a look like he's just grown a third head, then leap out of the bed. "Arrgh! Shimo! You… timing… BAD!"
This is the sort of thing I've come to dread. Shimo destroying a snugly moment to ask some sort of inane question about the person that he happens to like, and is casually dating in my boyfriend's body. It's times like this I wish for prozac and a padded cell.
"Well? Do you?"
I shake my head mutely, still giving him the thoroughly creeped-out look. "Check the phone book." I advise before dashing from the room before Yuki can come back and start threatening my chastity again.
I swiftly change into fresh clothing, dash some freezing water over my face, and scamper downstairs past our startled housekeeper and over to where my shoes are. Now I really need to get out of the house.
I leap off the desk and head off at a steady jog. The morning air is cold and refreshing, breaking me out of my Yuki-induced stupor. Sometimes, that boy needs a good smacking. Bad distracting Yuki! Bad, hot distracting Yuki!
I groan even as I run up the driveway, rolling my eyes up to the bare branches overhead. It looks like it might rain, or snow even. Not good. I hate things that are cold and wet. I hit myself in the forehead with the heel of my palms and veer off the path slightly, trying to clear away the dirty thoughts again. Stupid teenage mind. Stupid libido.
Running should be the sort of wholesome activity that calms the body and the mind. So why isn't it working? The places where Yuki kissed me seem somehow colder than the rest of my exposed neck and head, which are sticking out from a puffy jacket and a scarf, which is just wrapped loosely around me. Not the best gear to run in as I'll probably be shedding most of it once I get properly warm, but for now I value keeping my various extremities un-frozen.
I bet Yuki really hopes that I keep one particular extremity warm, my mind helpfully supplies, and I veer slightly off the driveway in the other direction. It must look like I'm running drunk. Damnit, exercise is supposed to keep these sorts of thoughts away!
'Kyo, where are you going?'
I frown at the sudden intrusion. 'Nowhere. I'm just going for a run. I'll be back… sometime.'
I can feel Shimo's irritation echoing down the link between us. 'Specific, love. Do you know where Tohru-san's put the address book?'
I growl and cut the connection.
I just… really don't want to have to think about that right now.
One hand idly scratch at my beads, which are awkwardly wrapped under my bandages, then slaps at the various cool spots on my neck. Damn that boy to hell. Damn teenage hormones to hell as well. May Cerberus use them as chew toys.
I increase my pace past my normal distance-consuming jog and onto the boarders of running-for-no-particular-reason. Maybe I just need more exercise for me to get caught up in the sound of my feet against the gravel path and breath whooshing in and out of my lungs, like I usually do. But this morning…
It's just not damn well working. I can't get him out of my head. It's like trying to stop the tide. I have a sudden urge through the rising despair to veer off the track, over to one of the conveniently-placed tree trunks, brace myself with two hands and then beat my head against it until I'm not thinking anymore. So much for exercise.
I'm still not thinking straight when I round the corner and come to a complete and sudden halt.
No.
They're fucking with me again.
"…what?"
Hands behind her back and wearing her favourite dress, my mother smiles kindly at me, the way that I always wanted her to. It's the sort of smile that makes you feel instantly accepted and loved. She beckons me closer and I hesitate to move in either direction.
The familiar smell of her perfume drifts over me, tinged with something more metallic. I blink, and her face, for just an instant, doesn't look nearly as alive and accepting.
I take a step back, and my ankle jars as I step into a pothole. My knee buckles, and I fall backwards. White hot pain shoots up from my leg, and my head collides with something solid.
I'm running through a forest. My breath burns in my lungs, and the mutual grip on each other's hands is a comfort to us both. Akito's face, Akito's room, myself sitting placidly while he rants and paces. A look on his face that would normally drive me to my knees. There's nothing he can do now. The only person that controls my life now is me. I gasp, heat dissolving all my barriers of restraint. He's in me, he's around me. A familiar but different face, framed by firey hair the same shade as my own kneels over me, yelling for me to wake up as I stare uncomprehendingly at the cloudy sky. Eriol nods approvingly, his robes incandescent in the moonlight. He lifts his staff, the combined sun and moon painted a paler shade of gold than usual.
I open my eyes.
"What the fuck?"
"I could say the same thing."
Yuki moves from where he's been hovering over my to the doorway of my room. "He's awake,"
"Huh?"
My cousin turns and gives me a withering look. "You tripped over a pothole, hit your head on a rock, and impaled your lower leg on a stick."
"What?"
Images flash through my mind, and my new injuries to add to an already long list suddenly become unimportant. "My mother was there."
Yuki instantly starts to shut the door on Shigure as he starts to enter.
"Naw, Yuuuuki! You said he was awake!"
"I didn't say you could come in."
"You're so meeeee-"
The end of our guardian's whine is cut off to a muffle by the door sliding into place.
Yuki turns and walks back over to perch on the bed next to me, and put a hand to my forehead. "Hmm. You don't feel feverish."
"Oi!" I bat away his hand, "I know what I saw, okay?"
"I don't even want to think of the implications of that."
"Look, the 'I see dead people' thing is really over-done, but… She was there. I ran around the corner, and she was standing there in all her undead glory."
"Did you feel anything before you saw her?"
I shake my head as much as I can while propped up on about three pillows. "I wasn't paying attention."
"Why not?" Yuki presses, sounding exasperated.
"I was," I poke him harshly in the chest, "Otherwise occupied."
"While that's good to know, you should have still been paying attention."
"Great, so I'm allowed to think about you, but not while living my day-to-day life when an Elemental might pop out of the ether at any moment?"
"Precisely."
"So you're saying it's alright to think about you… never?"
"Oh, there are a few occasions when it's alright."
I don't like those implications either.
"She was there."
"What was she doing?"
"She was smiling like she loved me."
I shift uncomfortably. I don't want to discuss this. "It was the sorta look that I never got while she was actually around. She'd always say things but… I'd get the impression that my mother was trying to convince herself, not me."
"That's in the past now. You've got a true family now."
A very lame and naive statement, but still comforting nonetheless.
"I guess, but sometimes it hurts and I just wanna…"
"Ahem."
"Hello Hatori," Yuki stands up and smooths off his pants, "I was just going to fetch you."
The doctor casts a suspicious look over the two of us. "I'm sure you were. I'd like to speak to Kyo alone, thankyou."
Yuki nods and quietly leaves the room.
Hatori pulls my desk chair over to beside my bed, sits down, and then takes one of my hands in his.
"Was this an accident?"
I look away. "Yes."
"Are you sure about that?"
"You think I deliberately stepped into the pothole?"
"It looks like it."
"What?"
"You were running in one direction, but if you had tripped while running, you would have fallen over in the opposite direction to the way you ended up. It looks like you stepped back into it."
"I did."
"Why?"
"I didn't mean to, I-"
"Was jogging backwards?"
Actually, I saw the ghost of my dead mother and freaked out. The silence hangs on for a moment more, then I turn my eyes to the one of my cousin's that I can see and force a smile. "You're too smart for me, huh?"
Hatori frowns. "This is nothing to joke about. It's good that you're talking with Yuki, but this needs to stop."
"I try, but…"
With a sigh, I look away again.
"I expect not to hear about you getting hurt again for quite some time."
"Sir yes sir." I think this is going to be one of the occasions where the saying 'what you don't know cant hurt you' will come into swift effect.
"Kyo…"
"I know, take it seriously."
"Take it easy as
well. Have some time off school if you think you need it."
I nod, then focus my vision out the window. Not looking at my cousin makes it
easier to keep up the façade of melancholy.
The door slides shut behind him, and I'm alone once more. Now onto other matters that can't be explained rationally. That dream.
I've had weird dreams before, but that has to count right up there with strange things. First, I see a person that can't be there, then I see flashes of things that I don't remember. Why on earth would Eriol be in robes? Why was I running through the forest? Why wasn't I cowering at Akito's feet? Who was that man? Did I just have a flash of having sex?
All I can say is that was fuckin' weird.
I just… needed to end it on that note. It was just… Ah well.
