To my Readers: You have all been such a great inspiration to me, I am updating this chapter early for all of you! You're reviews and encouragement just made me want to write more for you! I am sorry but because I have heaps of work, I wont be able to update till Friday after this, but at least this is early right?
Hey! I am glad you liked the chapter even though I forced it out of me quickly, anyway I have some answers for you
rajah of ffx: Yes Yuna is definitely softening up after being cared for by Tidus, she is finally being treated like she should and she is becoming very confused. Lulu and Wakka parented Yuna for a while, but she ran away with Gippal so she could train to get revenge for her mother, Lulu and Wakka are still happily living in Besaid and Yuna will meet up with them again if they get to Besaid where they are headed. Jecht wants to kill Tidus, well he doesn't want to but Tidus has committed a crime against Bevelle because he helped Yuna escape the penalty for that is death, but Tidus is Jecht's son... he doesn't exactly want to kill him but to be fair he has to.
Okay I hope that clears it up, Hope you like this chapter and feel free to ask about anything you want, I am looking forward to your feedback, you're all so sweet and kind I love you all! :D
YUNA'S POV: I tell you now that I much rather write from Yuna's Point of view! lol
Chapter 8: Oasis realizations
"I can do what I want! You don't own me, I think David was hot and if you weren't standing there I probably would have taken him into a corner and done my thing with him. Just get over it okay, I don't like you! I don't want to be watched by you or questioned by you 24/7 OR CARED FOR BY YOU FOR THAT MATTER! You rescued me and I am grateful, but we will not be GETTING MARRIED!"
You have no idea how much it hurt to say those words to Tidus. You may ask me that if it hurt, why did I say it? Simply because it was for his own good, he didn't want to get involved with me, when the plan was to ultimately lead him to his death! Besides I wasn't even sure how I felt about him for starters, and did he have to be so god damn protective? I'm referring to the Gippal incident, it's not like I could of came right out and said, 'Oh yeah I bumped into Gippal who decided to hit me for some fun' could you imagine the look on Tidus' face? I could and I didn't want to see it.
After what happened between us last night I couldn't let myself get anymore attached to him, remembering the way his lips felt on my skin sent shivers up my spine, and I knew perfectly well if the circumstances were different I would have given myself to him, something about the way he did it... Was so attentive... So caring, I just couldn't help myself. But I had to keep reminding myself that this was all just lust for sex, I hadn't had sex for a while now and I was having withdrawals... yes withdrawals...
I didn't know how I was going to tell Gippal that I just couldn't go through with this marriage plan. I didn't want to do it if the reasons were just to save my life and endanger his, I am the one that deserves to be dead... I know Gippal probably wants him dead, just to see another Yevon follower fall. If you had asked me a few days ago whether I would want the praetor to die painfully, I would have answered 'Yes the most painful death possible!'. Tidus has opened up my eyes, shown me that I shouldn't judge someone before I meet them, Tidus has taught me a lot of things in the human aspect... Things someone as young and naïve as him shouldn't know.
I sighed as we approached the hill, feeling tears well in my eyes over the whole dilemma. How did it all get so complicated? All I was meant to be was to avenge my mother and die. I had lived passed my used by date. Once this whole problem with Tidus had started some emotions were slipping into me, but with that sense of humanity also came issues that I had never had to deal with before. I was confused and afraid, I didn't know what to do, on top of that I was becoming attached to the praetor that stood by my side and believed my word no matter what I did... and nothing good could possible come out of it.
Tonight Gippal would ask me how progress was going, what was I supposed to tell him? That I shouted at Tidus and made it quite clear that I didn't have any feelings for him? Yeah in my dreams, probably pull out a shotgun and blow one of my hands off or something.
I climbed up the dune with great speed and determination. To get my mind off things I usually tried to push myself, or hurt myself, but it wasn't really working since Tidus kept side glancing me out of the blue. I just wanted to pounce on him and roll down the hill in one big mess of sand, to be playful to be carefree like that, I wondered what it felt like. So I wanted to hug him, squeeze him tightly... he just had that affect on me. To tell you the truth I didn't know what was happening to me, since last night my feelings had just gotten out of hand, and I finally had all this affection for him that I couldn't show. I stopped suddenly when Tidus voiced his amazement.
"Whoa..."
I looked up and smiled inwardly at him, this was probably the first time he had seen anything like this and he didn't make a point of hiding it either. Then I realized, he was the Praetor... just how would people react if they knew that? Especially in an Al Bhed community, I wondered how Tidus would take it if he knew I was half Al Bhed, maybe it would turn him off me, just maybe...
"That's strange..." I said thinking aloud, observing that Tidus also looked quite shocked at the most unbelievable sight... Bikanel in silence, just what was going on here? Where were all the Machina I was so used to seeing? Where was all the noise and bustle? Where in the farplane was, well chaos?
"YUNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Where was chaos? right behind me! I turned around instantly with a wide grin on my face. Tidus looked like something had just busted his ear drum and cried out with pain.
"You're so over dramatic!" I said removing his hand from his ear.
"What in the Spira was that?" Tidus said in a state of shock and absolute horror.
"That would be my cousin!" I ran down in her direction and met her with a bone crushing hug. "Hey I didn't see you on the way in..." I almost chocked from her tight squeeze and knew that for a little girl she was definitely strong.
"Ooo Yunie who is this hunk..." Rikku said letting go of me and circling around Tidus who looked dazed over the whole matter.
My instincts told me not to say the praetor, and I was going to trust them. "He's just a friend." I said blushing slightly.
Rikku gave me a questioning look. "Y vneaht? yna oui ehcyha, ev ra ec oui'na vneaht seht ev E dyga y peda?" (A friend? are you insane, if he is you're friend mind if I take a bite?) Rikku said with an evil grin.
"HU! tuh'd clyna so kiacd, huf lyh oui nih uv yht damm Gippal fa ryja ynnejat?" (NO! don't scare my guest, now can you run of and tell Gippal we have arrived?) I said with little anger, it would be pretty good if I could get rid of Tidus and dump him on Rikku, but I could tell by the way he was flinching every time Rikku talked in her loud high pitched voice... he wasn't that interested.
"Awwww... buubc!" (poops) Rikku said immaturely stomping away with smoke literally steaming out of her ears.
I shook my head and laughed to myself turning back to Tidus and noticing his look of curiosity.
"That girl she is you're cousin?" Tidus raised his eyebrow stepping a little closer to me. I nodded, knowing what direction this was headed in. "She is Albhed?" Tidus asked. Once again I nodded meekly. "You speak Albhed? Yuna... why didn't you tell me?" He placed a hand on my face observing my bi colored eyes, a look of enlightenment on his face.
"Well, what do you think of me now, would you still want to kiss me knowing I was part Albhed?" I spat slapping him away and running after Rikku.
"Yuna wait!" Tidus said grabbing my arm. "I would gladly kiss you anywhere, anytime of the day, no matter who you are."
I grabbed my hand free and slapped him across the face, running away from him as fast as I could.
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I ran into the city as fast as I could, not caring that Tidus didn't know his way around, Rikku had a sharp eye for hot bodies and I was pretty sure she would find Tidus amongst all the other Albhed, his clothing was a little odd compared to ours, where less is better, can't exactly blame the Albhed though, I mean they live in the dessert!.
"Yuna!" Gippal said acknowledging me and walking in my direction. I glanced around quickly to see that there was people walking around doing the work that Machina should be doing for them.
"What's happening?" I asked taking a step towards him and pointing at all the workers.
"Power shortage, it's those damn Yevonites, they aren't supplying us our power for some unknown reason." Gippal grunted. It was good that they weren't falling apart without Machina, I was so scared that maybe they were starting to depend on them a little more than they should, but Albhed were hard workers and always would be. "And Tidus?"
"Yunaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wait up!" Tidus shouted running to my side and panting for breath. "Yuna, you know I am not racist towards Al Bhed, I don't know anything about them so how can I judge?" Tidus placed a hand on my shoulder as he straightened up, and his eyes fell to Gippal. "Yuna, who's this?" Tidus jerked his head towards me and took his hand off my shoulder if almost instinctively knowing it was Gippal.
"The names Gippal, Praetor Tidus." Gippal said extending his hand. Tidus cautiously accepted his hand shake. "It would do you good to lay low around here Praetor, since we are on a shortage of power and the Al Bhed will be blaming you're father!" Gippal hinted in the cruelest way he could, but Tidus didn't seem to understand and turned his head towards me for help.
"He is SAYING! That don't tell anyone you're the praetor, while were here you're just Tidus okay." I said rolling my eyes, I had a habit of rolling my eyes at most of the things Tidus did, but I didn't overlook the fact he was adorable.
"Sounds good to me!" Tidus said with excitement. "So how are we getting to the next place? Can't you fly us in one of your Machina airships?" Tidus said rubbing his hands together with enthusiasm.
"Like I said there is a power shortage, so we will not be using any machina, all we will do is teleport you to the thunder plains Yuna, because that's the only kind of power we have right now." Gippal replied
"You know Tidus, for a Yevonite, you sure have a lot of interest in 'the forbidden Machina'" I said in a dark voice exaggerating the fact that Machina weren't aloud.
"Well I wouldn't exactly call me a Yevonite Yuna, I follow the ways, but I don't see what's wrong with Al Bhed, or machina so therefore I think I should learn more about them." Tidus said shrugging, he didn't seem guilty at all... and knowing that he wasn't a Yevon fanatic put me at ease.
"Just like us ey Tidus?" Rikku appeared clinging onto Gippal's arm. "We follow the teachings to ya know?"
"I see, sorry I didn't catch you're name?" Tidus said.
"The names Rikku! And since you have a fascination with Machina... maybe you want me to show you some stuff? I fix machina for a living." She said winking at Tidus. Tidus shot me a look to see if I was alright with it.
"Go ahead!" I smiled pushing him towards Rikku who looked delighted. At least it would get him off my back for a little while, and it would increase the chance for their future marriage.
Rikku and Tidus disappeared to the work station, and I was left with Gippal. "How is it coming Yuna, is he opening up to you?" Gippal said pulling me behind a building.
"Gippal I really don't think." I trailed off.
"Yuna we have been through this." Gippal sighed with frustration.
"But, he doesn't deserve this!"
"Yuna! Don't get attached to him! I can't believe you! You're telling me you love that pathetic idiot? Already? The great Yuna... falling in love? this is hilarious." Gippal rubbed his face with anger and tensed his fist.
"Love Hah! As if I know what that even is Gippal, not like you ever showed me! Love is just another one of the 21,504 words in the dictionary for me!" I spat on him, and realized that it was a big mistake.
"FUCK YUNA! You little bitch! You know maybe Tidus doesn't deserve it! But did your mother or my parents deserve what they got!" Gippal replied with irritation.
"But HE DOESN'T DESRVE IT! THAT'S ESACTLY THE POINT! I don't want to go out doing things to people that they don't deserve, just like someone did to my mother! That would make me just as bad!" I answered. Sometimes I hated the fact I always one the arguments, because it angered Gippal that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Well a man of quality should not threatened by a woman of equality.
"You will do what I say!" He yelled grabbing me and pushing me to the wall. His lips met mine in a violent rage. I yelped out in pain as he bit my mouth and slapped me across the face for no reason, he devoured me, hurt me both physically and emotionally, how much longer could I put up with it.
"Yuna, where are you?" I heard a familiar voice from around the corner yell.
Gippal let go of me in shock, just in time, as Tidus stepped around the corner of the building and rested his eyes upon the two of us, from the tense atmosphere that rested above us and our heavy breathing, Tidus knew something was wrong, and his eyes were filled with suspicion. I instantly turned away from him, hiding my most likely bruised lip from his sight.
"What's going on here?" I flinched as Tidus approached Gippal. "Yuna? what happened?" He ran around to view my face. I tried to turn my head once again but his hands had already grabbed my shoulders firmly. "Y-your lip is bleeding..." Tidus stuttered, looking up at Gippal with a furious rage in his eyes. "What in the Spira happened here Gippal?"
I brought my hands up to my lip and wiped the blood away, Tidus' firm hands still resting on my shoulders. I healed the wound with little effort and looked up to see Tidus staring at me intently. "I fell." I said nervously, scared under the glare of Gippal.
Tidus eyes widened. "Last time... you said you fell too...." He whispered, andlooked at Gippal then at me again, making the connection. I knew exactly what he was thinking, but he wouldn't dare accuse Gippal, and he was smart enough to know. I tried my hardest not to burst into the tears over the fact Gippal had hurt me again, and yet Tidus was here to rescue me just as he was last time, that also made me want to cry as well, that I treated Tidus like shit, and he treated me like the most valuable thing in Spira.
For my strength and power it was amazing how small I felt with Gippal and how beautiful and loved I felt with Tidus. He brushed some hair out of my face, and looked at me with concern and compassion. I blushed under his gaze and tried to look away.
"So Tidus what do you want with Yuna?" Gippal said lighting up a smoke. Tidus let go of me hesitantly and gave Gippal a look of hatred.
"I wanted her to look at machina with me... Rikku is waiting." Tidus said trying to sound as nice as he possible could. But I knew he knew, and so did Gippal, Tidus probable knew that we knew he knew, but yet none of us said anything, because it wasn't aloud, like it was some written law. Tidus couldn't accuse Gippal when I refused to tell him the cause of my wounds, and therefore Tidus couldn't blame Gippal.
"You want me to come, why?" I asked trying to avoid eye contact with Gippal.
"Well I guess I missed you." Tidus laughed.
"Tidus, you saw me a minute ago." I said with annoyance.
"Yeah I guess but don't you think it would be good if we looked at them together? I thought we could have fun." Tidus eyes darted between me and Gippal once again, Tidus desperately wanted to save me, and I was going to let him this once.
"Better than being around here!" I hinted to Gippal grabbing Tidus' hand and pulling him in the direction of Rikku. I looked over my shoulder at Gippal as I was walking away. He gave me an evil wink. I knew that no matter what had just happened. He was happy because Tidus wanted to be with me, and I cursed myself for carrying through with his plan, for pleasing him. Maybe if I just pretended to do this, and got to the Maestor some other way, yes there had to be some other way.
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That night there was a huge fire in the very centre of Bikanel, due to lack of power the whole community ate out, it was like a festival, a party, but I wasn't in the mood for one. Although I felt safe in Bikanel, I had a feeling that this lack of power was linked to me and Tidus, and I knew Guards could storm through here without a trouble if there was no power, meaning me and Tidus were very exposed.
"Hey Yunie!" Rikku said sitting down next to me by the fire. "You eaten already." She asked. I nodded even though I hadn't eaten anything yet, I wasn't hungry and it wasn't a time for food. "Well why don't you come dance with me." She said pointing to her group of friends who's sweat all shone like glitter on their bodies from the moonlight.
"I'll pass." I said smiling weakly.
"Well look at you're man all alone over there, why don't you go talk to him?" Rikku said pointing over to Tidus who kept denying the millions of requests for dances. He looked sad and lonely and ate his food without much animation like he usually did.
"I think I'll pass on that too, and he isn't my man!" I replied strongly.
"Oh yeah? Well he has turned down every single girl tonight; I think the only person he hasn't turned down is you." Rikku said with envy.
"Rikku I haven't even asked him to dance." I laughed.
"So that's exactly my point, he looks lonely and you're the only one he is going to say yes to, all he did today was go on about how great you are, believe me it was more than a hint." Rikku said nudging me.
"So what, I don't like him." I replied gulping.
"Whatever, just go dance with him." Rikku said jumping up and down.
"Go on give it a go." I felt myself behind pushed forward by no-one other than Gippal, and his 'give it a go' was more like a 'do it or I'll shoot you' thing so I sighed and stood up. Knowing that Gippal was watching me intently I sat down next to Tidus and placed my hand on his shoulder.
"Hey what's wrong?" I asked noticing the distant look on his face.
"Yuna..." He looked up and grinned. "You look beautiful." He said touching my face.
I leaned back a little. "Tidus I looked the same as I did this morning." I said looking down at my attire. I usually hated compliments, they were fake and made up on the spot. But I leapt with happiness when ever Tidus complimented me, because I could feel he was sincere. Why was Tidus able to make me feel like a child, everytime I looked into his eyes?
"And just like this morning you look beautiful." He replied grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. I took the hint and sat on his lap much to my dislike and let him wrap his arms around me.
"I have never sat on anyone's lap apart from my mother's you know..." I said softly, feeling Gippal's eyes upon us.
"Then I am extremely honored." Tidus tightened his grip on me and nestled into my neck, before I knew it he was placing gentle kisses on my neck and shoulders. Part of me wanted to turn around and slap him on the face, because I had told him more than once not to touch me like this but he just kept insisting, and I kept falling...
"Tidus, we really shouldn't be... d-doiiing...." I couldn't even seem to get one sentence out. As soon he placed his lips on me again a strange tingling sensation ran down my spine, and I had forgotten everything I wanted to say. What I was feeling was a terrible sin, what he was doing was so pleasurable I didn't even know if It was legal to be doing it in public, never had I felt so intimate with a person, from just kisses and tender touches, I couldn't say how much I just wanted him to stop, leave me alone, to go fall in love with Rikku or some other normal girl, but he wouldn't stop not matter what, Tidus would keep persisting... I was doomed.
"Yuna would you dance with me?" Tidus whispered into my ear. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him. I looked away since I was blushing a bright shade of pink and simply nodded.
As we danced Tidus kept his hands firmly on my lower back like a gentlemen, it felt so different to dancing with other men who always tried to grope me and slobber all over my face. At peace, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested on his chest pulling my body tightly close to his.
I reflected on myself, what was happening to me, everything I felt. No more did I want to fight and live my life in danger, no more would I hurt or lie to Tidus. I had done enough to him already, taken away his best friend. But no matter what I was going to avenge my mothers death so I could one day be with her again. But when in Tidus arms I wanted to live, I felt my life now had a purpose, I finally knew what it felt like to have blood running through your veins. But wanting Tidus was selfish of me, I didn't deserve him, and when I really thought about it my feelings towards him were a mystery..
I felts his hands move slightly lower, and I wished that he would just grab me and make love to me right here. Okay so I lusted for him, but what woman wouldn't? when I take one look at him I am tricked into believing that perfection does exist. But when we touch, there is something more, much more than lust, something I have never felt. Could it be that I liked Tidus? Like... what does it mean to me? Nothing... I have never liked another man this way before ever, I didn't know what I was going to do.
The song finished and Tidus kissed my forehead and lead me to a quiet place for some alone time. "Yuna..." He said as I sat down at the oasis dipping my feet into the water. "What was happening today when you're lip was bleeding and." He was silenced as a placed a finger to his lips.
"Tidus let's not argue about this okay, I fell." I removed my finger from his soft lips and ran it through the water. "Did you have fun with the machina today?" I asked lightening the mood.
"Yeah!" I suddenly felt myself being lifted up and hauled into the water, at a rate so fast my brain couldn't process it. I broke the surface breathing heavily to see Tidus standing over me in a state of hysterics. "But it was no where near as good as seeing the look on your face when you came up out of the water, that was priceless!" He mocked pointing at me while holding his stomach from all the laughter.
"Glad you think it's funny! Now you can help me out!" I said reaching up for him.
"Oh yeah, think I am that stupid Yuna, you'll pull me right in with you!" Tidus shut his eyes with laughter again and it only gave me leeway to I grab him. So when he wasn't looking I grasped his ankle and pulled him in on top of me. "I forgot you were sneaky!" He said squinting at me.
"Heh heh heh." I rubbed my hands together and swam in the opposite direction. I had never been in this water before, it was cool and refreshing and I suddenly made a point to come here again. I swam away for a while knowing Tidus was probably following me through the water and could pop up at any second and scare the living farplane out of me. So I sat against a wall and ducked under the water searching for him. At least I knew he wasn't behind me as my back was to the wall. But it was no use the water was dense and dark, I could see nothing. I gasped for air.
"Gotcha!"
"Shiiittttt Tidus!" I gasped as he arms found their way to my waist. "Ah let go of me!" I yelled, playfully trying to squirm my way out of his tight embrace.
"Yuna, you shouldn't swear so much you know..." Tidus said with humor, resisting my attempts to break free with ease. I sighed and gave up leaning back onto him.
"I do try, I am just surrounded by swearing a lot, it hammers into you're brain after awhile." I replied. Suddenly glad of his arms around me to keep me warm.
"Well, you know, you shouldn't let bad things be hammered into you're brain like that, and you shouldn't let anyone get away with hurting you." He stroked my back gently.
I wondered how he knew, how he knew everything. He was right I shouldn't let Gippal get the better of me. But what else was I supposed to do? Not avenge my mother and go back to Lulu and Wakka who I had treated with so much disrespect they probably wouldn't even want to look at me? No I couldn't do that, I wasn't like Tidus who had options to do whatever he wanted, in-fact he probably thought this was all a game and that he would just tag along for the ride. Just another thing to tell his grandchildren when he is married to the most prestigious woman in Bevelle. 'Oh yes the days I traveled with Lady Yuna.' I hated to think that all his children and grandchildren would want to hear the story of his first love every night before they went to bed. No, Tidus didn't understand, not everyone had options, I was stuck in this horrible reality and the only way I could even think of having a better life in the farplane was by sticking to Gippal like glue.
"Yuna..." Tidus broke my thoughts and titled my chin to look at him. It was dark and cold, all I wanted was to feel safe with him and one look could give that to me.
"Hmmm hmmm." Some one coughed from behind us. I instantly broke out of my previous trance and looked up to see Gippal, who looked very delighted with himself. "You two I just thought I should let you know it's getting late and you two need to leave early tomorrow as Yuna told me and it's not safe out at night, especially not in Bikanel, so I advise you to make haste." He skipped out of the oasis and I knew why. Because seeing me and Tidus in a situation that could have very easily lead to us madly kissing each other, lead him closer to getting his blood thirsty satisfaction, which meant me killing more people than we had to including Tidus. Sometimes I wondered why Gippal kept me if he thought I was so useless. Why get me to do all the dirty work, why get me to train for 12 years and waste my life? Why? was it all worth it when the only thing I hear is how useless I am to him.
I pushed Tidus away and climbed out, waiting for him. We were both blushing from the happenings of tonight and I had to get away from him. I lead him back to Bikanel where I showed him to his room. "I'll be in my room if you need anything." I said sarcastically, shutting his door quiety.
"So I see you're taking up my proposition to sleep together for tonight."
I swung around to see Gippal towering over me. "You know I just don't fruiting understand you sometimes, you want me to go fruit Tidus but yet you still want to fruit me at the same time, you want everything, thats childdish! what the hell am I fruiting supposed to do?!" I said with absolute confusion, he wanted me to marry Tidus but he still wanted to sleep with me, sometimes he made me want to tear my hair out!
"Uhh what's with the fruit Yuna, maybe if you take the dozen fruits out of you're sentence I might have heard what the fruit you were going on about!" Gippal asked me some what amused, while leading me to his room.
"Tidus wants me to stop swearing." I whispered entering his room and removing my shoes."Fruit replaces the F word." Gippal laughed and shook his head.
"I gathered that, you really do like this Tidus guy don't you?" He said pushing me onto the bed with violence, he was angered I could tell. I didn't reply, knowing in my heart if I did like Tidus or not while Gippal undressed me hastily, for the first time, having sex with Gippal was heart breaking.
Hope you enjoyed it...
Saturn Stars
