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YUNA'S POV


Chapter Eleven: How You feel


I shivered in his arms not really understanding what was going on. All I knew was I had a gun aimed at me and that was enough for me.

"Please don't shoot!" Tidus screamed. I looked up at his face he was absolutely terrified, and that made me upset. "Please don't hurt Yuna." He said attempting to shield me slightly, but it wasn't really working. I shut my eyes and snuggled into him, trying to reassure him that is was ok. I didn't want anyone to risk their life for me, it was I who should be risking my life for Tidus.

"Of course not!" I heard the woman place her gun down and I moved my attention to her. I squinted to see what the gun model was and cringed, when I knew what could of happened if she had shot us with one of those bullets. "I just wanted to make sure that it was really you two, I get a lot of strange people out here, and you kicking my door open wasn't exactly a graceful entrance." She chuckled. I smiled with relief hoping we hadn't caused too much damage to the door and heard Tidus sigh heavily.

"I am so sorry! I will pay anything you want I just really got to get Yuna warm." He said frantically. As on cue I shivered unwillingly causing his worried glance to rest upon me, I cursed my body for making unwanted moves, I didn't want Tidus to worry about me, I wanted his mind to be at ease. "Look please don't tell anyone we are here." Tidus ran up to the counter, I just wanted him to let me down, because I didn't want to be such a burden. But he wouldn't let me down, and held onto me tighter than ever. I continued to open and shut my eyes uneasily, sleepy with fatigue.

"It will cost you!" The woman said leaning over the counter and raising her eyebrows, like some greedy pig that deserved to live in a pen, what did she think we were gillionares? "Those men that just passed through here were offering 10,000 Gil to contact them as soon as I saw you." She licked her lips and straightened her fringe. So we would have to best the other two men in order to stay here without being reported? As if, that means we somehow had to miraculously pull more than 10,000 Gil out of our pocket. It was just like the Al Bhed to ask for immense amounts of gil.

"Sorry Tidus, I think I would be lucky if I even had 20 Gill on me." I said weakly touching his face apologetically.

"You don't have to pay anything Yuna." We stared at each other for a few seconds lost within each others eyes, before the woman coughed breaking our trance. "Okay I'll do it! 20,000 as long as you find some dry clothes for Yuna and supply our room with hot water." Tidus said trying to reach into his pocket for the money. I almost chocked 20,000 just at the drop of the hat? I had obviously forgotten who I was traveling with. He tried to reach into his pocket without letting go of me but didn't want to take a chance.

"Deal!" The woman said slamming her hand down onto the bench greedily.

"Here let me do it." I smiled weakly reaching over for his pocket slowly and handing him most of the Gil my small hand could hand him.

"Thanks Yuna." He said softly handing the inn Keeper half the money and grabbing the key off her before racing through to our room.

I giggled while unlocking the door. It felt like we were newly weds and couldn't wait to get inside for a night of heat and passion. But the circumstances were very different, we were both soaking wet and I knew Tidus' only concern was to get me warm before I died of hypothermia or something like that.

"Is it okay to put you down? Are you strong enough?" Tidus said when we were in the bathroom. I nodded deciding I could lean against something for support. He put me down carefully and I instantly grabbed onto a wall supporting my weight, Tidus watched over his shoulder while filling the bathtub with hot steaming water. I wondered if it was alright for me to take a bath, I would probably fall over it or something. Knowing I didn't want to trouble Tidus anymore I willed myself to walk over to him, my body still lacking air, and warmth. And I tried to test my legs as a source of strength.

"Now is there anything else you need?" He ran his hands through the water to test its warmth. "No way to hot!" He turned off the hot water leaving only the cold, I looked over at the bath and grinned stupidly, it looked just a little more than too hot. "Okay, want me to get you food, do anything, anything?" He turned his head to look at me and I happily wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his back and sighed. "Yuna?" He tested the water once again and cursed shaking the water of his hands. I smiled dreamily and linked my hands around his waist, I just wish he would hop into the bath with me, but was to cowardly to ask such a thing. "Anything, look what do you want me to get you to eat? Or drink? Or do you like the bed anyway when you sleep?" He turned his head over his shoulder again to look at me his soft hair brushing against my cheek, and tickling it.

"You can undress me if you want." I whispered into his ear tightening my embrace and had to contain the urge to lift his shirt over his head. He coughed nervously and tested the water again. "Perfect." He leaned over the tub turning off the taps. I grinned at his shyness, and continued to practically hang off him, it's not like I could support myself anyway, and despite the fact he was wet, he was so warm and I wanted to hang off him forever.

He stood up and turned around grabbing me by the shoulders. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded meekly and smiled at him, he was so worried over me, and he shouldn't be, so I was a little weak, and a little cold... I would live. "Sure you don't want anything?" He said letting go of me reluctantly. I was tempted to repeat my last comment just to see the look on his face but decided against it and nodded trying to suppress my laugh. "Okay, call me if you need anything okay, I'll just go find you some dry clothes." He looked at me with a question on his lips before he shut the door, but it never left his mouth, before I was in the bathroom all alone.

I slowly undressed myself and literally crawled into the bathtub, trying not to make a sound as I struggled as it would worry Tidus. I sighed and fell into the water, it was perfect temperature, and I didn't even know what perfect temperature was till now. I screwed up my face in thought as I hugged myself, my skin still feeling cold even in the heat of the water. What type of person made sure the bath was perfect temperature? I giggled wile wiping the cloth over my face. Tidus had just made the bath perfect temperature for me, how pedantic could he get? The thought made me smile like a little child and I sunk below the water in deep thought about him. I sighed surfacing again realizing I smelt like the swamp. I held my nose in disgust looking around the side for something sweet smelling, I wanted to smell good for Tidus.

Smell good for Tidus, what was I? I shook my head at my stupidity and grabbed the strawberry shampoo rubbing it through my hair with care. While washing my hair the whole incident with the Yokatta's came flooding back, how close were they? I thought it would be best to stay here for the day and the night hoping they would move ahead and then it was all a matter of planning, something I was good at.

The best thing about the bath was that it had given me time to think, I hadn't got a chance to relax like this for a while and with the temperature being perfect and all my thoughts tended to be positive. So I was out of my depression, and I decided I did want to see my mother again, yet after all this trouble settled down I could only see a life with Tidus. I didn't know what love was, but whatever I felt when I looked at him was so strong I would die if we didn't touch ever again, I slapped myself mentally at how fast I had fallen, but there really wasn't much I could do. So I would have to kill Jecht by myself without Tidus knowing, it was the only way I could get around everything, yet I would have to be extremely careful. The maestor was highly guarded and if I was caught... I didn't even want to think about it.

Then of course there was still Gippal to worry about. "Gippal." I grunted. Running my hands down my face with frustration, the meeting of Tidus had changed everything and everything I once believed in was slowly dissolving before my eyes, all I saw now was Tidus.

I closed my eyes still feeling fatigued, and suddenly I felt lonely, so cold, so alone, I wished Tidus was with me holding me, if I was brave enough I would try talk to him about it as soon as I got out of the bath, so what was happening to me... I was turning into what I used to call a spineless woman who felt like a child whenever a man looked at her, I was contradicting the belief that woman were naive if they thought they ever would have anything with a man, but I know understood I was the naive one. I sighed dreamily and slinked a little further down.

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"Why are you doing this to me Yuna, why?"

I opened my eyes surrounded in darkness a soft haunting voice calling to me. Where was I? Where was Tidus? Where... what?"

"Why would you do this Yuna, what happened to you Yuna?"

"Mum?" I whimpered though the darkness having no idea where in the farplane I was, no wait a second, that's exactly where I was the farplane! I was scared to the spot to afraid to move in case something bumped into me, or I bumped into something.

"What happened to the little girl I raised?"

"M-mum?" I flung around to the other side seeing a white figure standing in front of me, the light coming from the shape was so bright I couldn't see any features but there was no doubt it was a silhouette of a woman.

"The Yuna I raised, would never run away from love, would never do anything to hurt her love."

"W-hat?" I understood this was a dream but the presence of my mother was so close, yet so intangible.

"The Yuna I raised, would never think of doing anything to hurt her love, why are you hurting me like this Yuna, why are you hurting him?"

"T-Tidus?" I gulped, I could barley even make out one word, confused over the whole situation. "Love him?" I brought my hands up to my mouth and began biting my nails nervously.

"Yuna, why don't you wake up and see what's going on around you, why don't you see how special Tidus is to you, why don't you see how much he loves you."

"I, I do, I do." I stuttered.

"Wake up my Yuna, it's not you time to die and tell him how you feel Yuna, leave your past behind and make me proud, I will visit you again." Her transparent hand lifted itself to my face, outlining it before she disappeared from my sight.

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I gasped grabbing onto the side of the bath tightly and gasping for air. I had fallen asleep under the water? Or maybe I had just slipped under a few seconds ago, I laughed with relief knowing if I hadn't woken up sooner.... The dream flooded my head "Wake up my Yuna, it's not your time to die" I crawled out of the bath and let out the water. "No fruiting way!" I whispered wrapping the towel around myself, drying my hair of with the free towel.

I wondered what my mother had meant by all those words. "Make me proud." Did she mean to avenge her death? I cast a spell to completely dry my hair and brushed the knots out of it, leaving it at its usually soft as silk state. I opened the door with a confused look on my face, my mother, I could hardly remember a word she had said, I just wasn't good with dreams, I knew there was something about Tidus. "Tidus!" I said with a shocked expression trying to cover myself as the towel just barley covered me. His eyes grew wide and he turned around instantly pointing to the outfit on the bed. I was so caught up in the dream I had forgotten I was sharing a room with Tidus. I shook my head wondering why I was so worried, it's not like the towel did show anything... well almost, and who cared if it did anyway? I was never self conscious about my body before, why with Tidus? Uh duh Yuna, maybe because he is the hottest most adorable, most sexy, most caring and MY YEVON GORGEOUS most attractive, most did I mention sexy? Okay I think I should stop talking to myself now.

I dropped the towel without care and dressed myself in the small nightie and pajama shorts, I looked like... a girl and looked over at my black outfit longingly that Tidus had hung up to dry. "I'm decent." I said crawling onto the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked over his shoulder to see he was writing on something.

"What ya got there?" I said cheekily trying to snatch it out of his hand.

"Uh nothing." He said putting it away nervously. He pried my hands off him and stood up. "How are you feeling?" He said checking me out in my outfit.

"You're checking me out Tidus." I said without a tone covering my exposed chest, damn those low neckline flirty nighties all to the farplane!

"uh... well um." He said looking to the ceiling while fidgeting with his hands.

"It's okay." I giggled. "I was kinda checking you out as well." I winked at him observing his tanned muscular upper body, I was glad Tidus liked to lounge shirtless, since it was a treat to my eyes.

"So how are you feeling?" Tidus asked quickly changing the subject.

Feeling. THAT WAS IT! Mum had told me to tell Tidus how I felt. Okay, so that was easier said than done. "Well, I still feel a little tired I guess." I said placing my finger on my lip in thought. I knew that my mother hadn't meant that exactly, but it would do.

"Was the bath okay? You were in there for two hours!" He pointed out the small window where I saw the clouds crashing.

"Tidus, it's the thunder plains it's always dark." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes at his cuteness.

"Well its lunch time anyway, are you hungry want me to get you something to eat?" He sat down on the bed near me and gazed into my eyes.

"No, I'm not are you?" I asked covering my chest self consciously even though I knew his eyes were fixed on my face.

"Do you want anything else?" He asked

"Yeah, I do, I want you to answer a question." I said sitting on my knees.

"Shoot."

"Why do you care about me so much?" I asked cocking my head to the side slightly, every time he did something for me, It just made me confused, sure, it was nice, but why?

"Well, um... you... I am just treating you how you should be Yuna." Tidus said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Really I have never been treated this way, never, by another man, like why in the first place did you bust me out of jail?" I asked.

"Well, you were innocent." He replied a little confused.

"And that time in my house you made me that drink remember? Then made me lunch?" I giggled remembering the way it had tasted, it was so delicious and it was something Tidus had whipped together from a canned soup.

"Well you had a hangover Yuna, and I was worried."

"And that time you gave me a sword lesson with nothing to gain from it."

"You had potential."

"What about the way you carried me back here and ran a bath for me till it was perfect temperature?" I argued.

"You were hurt."

"What about that night I fell over and you tried to kiss me better?" I said rasing my eyebrow, he sighed and brought his hand to his face. I had finally cracked him.

"Well who wouldn't want to kiss you seriously Yuna." Tidus tried to say in a joking manner. But the statement had hurt me in away, I knew he hadn't meant it, and I wasn't one to be sensitive, but it made me feel like a cheap whore somehow.

"So you're saying you don't care for me one bit, and everything you have done was out of gentlemanly ways!" I hissed turning away from him. I knew I was just being moody bit I was so upset at this moment and felt like crying, I didn't even know what over, but I just wanted to so I did. The silent room suddenly became filled with the sounds of my soft sobbing I brought my knees up to my chest, in one of my attempts to hide within myself again. Tidus wasn't even saying anything to prove me wrong, he just sat there starting at my back I could feel his eyes on me, and that hurt me the most.

"I, uh." Tidus stuttered.

"Just spit it out Tidus, it's not like you can piss me off more than you already have." I sobbed. "And I don't give a crap if I swore so stick it up you're arse!" I screamed hiding my face from him as I crawled under the covers, resting my head and the end of the bed where my feet should have gone. It was dark and I struggled for air, but that this moment I really didn't care. I felt childish and stupid, pissed off at myself that I could let Tidus do this to me, make me feel this bad. After feeling so high.

"Yuna..." Tidus said while sighing, he lifted up the covers to look at me and I instantly hid my face from him. It wasn't long before he had also crawled under; I heard his heavy breathing next to me, as my sobs softened. "What are you doing under here?" He said placing his hand on my arm.

I turned to face him, even though I couldn't see a thing. "I am trying to hide from you!" I said firmly trying to remove his hand from my arm, but he only took it as an advantage to grab onto my hand and intertwine his fingers with mine. I didn't have the heart to stop him and relaxed feeling his body heat warm me even though we weren't touching. "Look I don't care if you don't care about me, I was just being stupid, it's not like I care about you anyway so." I made up some lie off the top of my head to try and cover up what I was really feeling as usual, I just felt so stupid.

"Yuna, I care about you more than anything in my life." He said moving closer. "I just didn't know how to explain it to you, I made you cry, and the goal in my life was to make sure I kept you happy, guess that ones kind of out the window hey." He laughed.

"R-really?" I said wiping my tears, what kind of loser's life goal was to make someone happy. Tidus' I guess and the thought made me giddy. "Well I guess I care about you, just a little. "I giggled wiping my tears again. The fact I could barley breath didn't bother me much, I was too rapped up in being so close to Tidus.

"No Yuna, it's not just that I care about you, What I am trying to say is...." He wrapped his arms around me and dug his face into my neck. "I love you." He started kissing my neck frantically, and although it felt so good I couldn't help but feel guilty that I couldn't say it back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hoping he would never stop showering me with kisses, it felt so good I wanted to float away on a breeze.

"Mmmm that feels so gooood." I moaned as he continued to dig his head into my neck, running his fingernails gently along my back. I was starting to sweat from the humidity and being so close to Tidus, I felt hot with heat and passion, and dug my nails into his back as gently as I could, the blackness around me not seeming so intimidating now. Something about my neck always got me going, no-one ever knew, I didn't even know, but Tidus had discovered it and I knew that if he ever wanted his own way all he would have to do... it was so simple for him, and made me feel so pathetic.

He trailed hot kisses up my neck with speed wrapping his arms firmly around me. "I uh, love you Yuna, and I was kinda hoping you felt the same way." He nibbled on my ear, causing me to shiver. I must of sounded desperately desperate unable to avoid the moans that were escaping my mouth, when my neck tingled with pleasure as he violently placed his lips on them. My gasps of enjoyment continued to escape my mouth as he pushed up against me un-intentionally. What started out as playful was now becoming extremely passionate, the sweat dripped from my forehead and I knew if I didn't stop myself soon, I wouldn't stop.

"Yevon Yuna, I love you so much, please tell me how you feel." He suddenly halted all action holding onto me tightly, sounding as if he was about to cry.

When he said those words I froze, I didn't want to lie to him, yet I didn't want to return him with silence, because I knew hat hurt the most. He pushed up the covers and we both gasped for air. "I'm sorry I can't answer that." I said as quickly as I could. I saw the look of hurt on his face so I immediately tried to redeem myself. "Tidus I don't even know what love is, I know I care about you, and hell I like you more than any other person I know, but I can't tell you if what I feel for you is love, because I don't know, I am just as confused as you are right now, so I think I will just shut up." I sat up, my eyelids still feeling quite heavy and sighed.

"You're tired." He said flatly. "Sleep okay?"

I looked over at him concerned, to see if he was hurt or upset, but I couldn't see anything, all I saw was over exaggerated sympathy and I wondered if he was hiding behind that. "Okay." I replied to tired to think, a little disappointed I was still yet to receive a kiss from him, but smiled when I realised it was something I could dream about tonight. I moved down to the right part of the bed, and of course Tidus tucked me in, and kissed me goodnight which sent me to sleep with a broad smile on my face.


Saturn Stars