The Soujiro Show!

Episode SIX! The Sixth Episode That Is Number Six!

Jan-San- Hello readers! I'm glad you have stuck with me for whole six chapters! I don't own anything in this story, except myself and the story itself. I will try my best to continue! Swear it! Also, sorry for the looooooongo absence.

Jan- OK, time to hand out any remaining assignments! Houji is the tech instructor 'cause he's got a rifle, and the rest of you guys are more… low-tech. The Computer teacher can be… Yumi, but just cause she doesn't have a real job yet. And Chou's gonna be the art teacher! (I have plans for him…)

Houji, Chou & Yumi- YAY!

Jan- Time to start!

Some time later (about 8:35 AM)…

Kids- (Go inside) Hey! There's no teachers! YAY!

Jan- Damn! We're late! Hurry the hell up, guys!

All "Teachers"- (Go to classrooms)

Souj- (On Loudspeaker) Hello! Welcome to your crappy school! Go to the regular classes. If there's no teacher there, just go home!

Kids- (Hope they don't have a teacher)

Note- All the teachers are in eighth grade classes or my sister's friends wouldn't be in it. I'm ordinarily in 9th. With one exception, the kids I bothered naming are in 8th.

Anyway…

Kids with teachers in class- Aww… Damn it! (Pick up schedule on desks)

Souj on loudspeaker- If you find a schedule on your desk, go to the classes, you idiots!

SAMPLE SCHEDULE (Let's just say it belongs to my sister, Julie.)

1st p.MathM. Shishio

2nd p.ScienceS. Hiko (Just remembered about this…)

3rd p.TechH. Sadojima (Houji)

4th p.LunchJ. Cordeiro (The assistant principal me!.)

5th p.ReadingK. Kamiya

6th p.LanguageK. Kamiya

7th p.Social StudiesK. Kamiya (The 3-period block!)

8th p.HealthKamatari (What's his last name?)

9th p.AdvisoryM. Shishio

Note- For kids with Art or Computers, that would go instead of tech.

Let's follow the day of Julie & her friends Mina (Who technically lives in Missouri now) and Karen (Technically in 7th grade, but today is special!). For story purposes their schedules will be the same.

FIRSTY PERIOD!

Julie, Mina, and Karen walk into Math class, now taught by Lord Shishio.

Shishio-sama- Hello children. Welcome to your personal hell- I mean math class.

Random kid- What's the difference? (Other kids laugh)

S-sama- I'm so glad you asked! (Sinister smile)

Julie recognizes the look and begins to grovel on the ground- Oh Shishio-sama, please pity me and my friends (Points them out).

S-sama- Why should I listen to you?

J- We can chant "SHISHIO-SAMA!" over and over while you do whatever you want to the rest of the class.

S-sama- Sounds good to me. Start chanting!

J, Mina, Karen- SHISHIO-SAMA! SHISHIO-SAMA! SHISHIO-SAMA!

Rest of class- ? Now what?

Shishio-sama- Now is math time. If I burn you four over 70 , what is the total amount of burned skin?

Kid- Uhh… 280?

S-sama- Wrong! You get burned! (Takes off his glove/gauntlet thingie.)

Julie- That's actually right. You can't burn him. It's against the new policy. See? "Section 1-1: Shishio-sama can't burn kids unless they do something bad or get a question horribly wrong."

S-sama- Damn.

The rest of first period continues with Shishio-sama asking burning questions and Julie with her friends chanting "SHISHIO-SAMA!"

SECONDY PERIOD!

Julie, Mina, and Karen walk into science class with Hiko!

Hiko-sama- Yo! Aren't you my baka deishi's stalker?

Julie- I'm not a stalker!

Hiko-sama- He came over complaining of nightmares where you stalk him off a cliff making a weird noise… you must not be a very good stalker.

Julie- No…

Bell-kun- RING! RING! RING! RING!

H-sama- Time for s-kience! Today's lab will be about (looks at book) Craters. You apparently get to smash stuff into sand from different distances.

Kids- YAY! (Grab stuff and start smashing it into sand, measuring the craters, and writing it down.)

H-sama- I'm bored. (Grabs a random bokken and smashes it into the sand.)

Kids- Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh… OO

H-sama- Stop staring, or I'll have to beat you into submission.

Kids- (Back to work)

EVENTUALLY…

Bell-kun- RING! RING! RING! RING!

Hiko- You! (Points at Julie) Leave baka deishi alone or-

Julie- He has a name you know! It's (dreamily) Kenshin! (Or Shinta)

Hiko- I'll beat you into submission!

Julie-VV

THIRDY PERIOD!

Techno-lology class with Houji! (Yes, technolology is from another fanfiction… (Checks memory) It's from "The Kenshin-gumi Go to LA," by KenshinGensatsu (Or something) AKA Yuki, the first fanfiction we ever read on this website!

Houji- Welcome to my class! Let's celebrate! (Fires rifle into air repeatedly) HOUJI-SENSEI! YEAH! I feel like I got a promotion!

Julie, Mina, and Karen- … oo Shouldn't we get our modules now?

Houji-sensei- No! Today we will (Goes under desk) play with these! (Takes out a miniature Gatling Gun) There's real loaded ones over there.

Mina & Karen- OO

Julie- Hey, it's technology! YAAAAAAY!

Houji- Okay, now you do this… and this…

EVENTUALLY…

Class- (All confused) ? When do we get to shoot stuff?

Houji-sensei- You don't! this is a class!

Julie- Can we go outside and shoot stuff?

Houji- Yes! Jan-san & Soujiro-kun even set up a target practice course!

Kid- Then why were we here the whole time?

Houji- I was waiting to see if anyone was smart enough to ask first. Guns are for shooting, not screwing around with.

Julie- (Dirty mind) (Snicker snicker)

They all go outside, and start shooting the crap outta stuff. The girly people are afraid of the noise, so they hide in the back. Houji goes back there and fires his rifle repeatedly, just to scare them and for kicks.

Bell-kun- RING! RING! RING! RING!

Julie- Aww… now what do we have?

Mina- (Looks at schedule) We have lunch… with Jan!

Julie- YAY! FOOD!

LUNCH AKA FOURTHY PERIOD!

Jan-san- (As the kids walk in) (Into microphone) Welcome to lunch, kiddies! Today, I will force you to eat all my favorite foods! Spaghetti-Os, chocolate-chip cookies that are ginormous-big, and Chocolate Easter bunnies! Oh yeah, and chocolate milk or orange juice!

Julie- Jan-san-sama no like soda. (Julie's pet name for sessha)

Kids- (Eat)

Mina- This bunny tastes weird…

Karen- A CHOCOLATE USAGI!

Julie- Maybe the bunnies are old-ish…

Jan-san- (Hears them) NO! You got the Lucky Bunny! See? (Points to a pink bow on the bunny's head) It probably tastes weird because I had Kaoru make it… This means you can have the rest of the day off! You might want to, since you have Kaoru for most of the day… You could bring Julie & Karen if you want, but the story will follow random kids instead.

Julie- TAKE ME WITH YOU! I can't stand Kaoru! I'll go to the other classes though…

EVENTUALLY… (I love this word)

Fifthy, Sixthy, and Seventhy Periods!

Julie- (Mockingly) With Kaoru! We don't have to go there!

Jan-san- You get to party with me and Soujiro!

Souj- Don't you mean Soujiro and I?

Jan- What are you, and English teacher?

In Kaoru's class…

Kids- Hey! No weird teacher! YAY!

Kaoru- (Pops up from under desk with a bokken & a death glare) Who's weird?

Kids- AAH!

Yep, these are the longest three periods ever…

EIGHTHY PERIOD!

Julie- We get Kama-chan now! YAY! I love Kama-chan! (Not like that…)

Kamatari-sensei- Welcome to my little piece of heaven! If it were really my heaven, Shishio-sama would be here! Now, I'm going to tell you about the differences between guys & girls! Doesn't that sound like fun?

Kids- Oo

The class is mostly smiling pervertedly or going "Ew, gross!"

Kama-sensei- YAY! Here's your first lesson! (Puts a picture of Shishio-sama up on the board) This is a guy. (Puts up picture of Yumi on the board) and this is a girl. Aren't they happy together? (Scribbles a mustache and weird eyes on Yumi's picture) Yeah!

Class- Oo

Kama-sensei- (Puts a picture of him/herself on the board, covering up Yumi.) Now Shishio-sama's sooo happy! This is for Yumi! (Puts a picture of Iwanbo up on the board) Here we go!

Julie- Kama-chan's extra happy today…

EVENTUALLY…

Kama-sensei- Lesson two: How to figure out whether this (Puts up picture of Yumi on board again) is a guy or a girl. See these? (Points to boobs) They have flesh showing, so it's a girl. But they're so big, they must be fake! Shishio-sama won't like that!

EVENTUALLY AGAIN…

Kama-sensei- Lesson three: How to disguise your true gender!

Bell-kun- (Ruins a truly educational experience) RING! RING! RING! RING!

Kama-chan- Wait!

Kids- YAY!

Kama-chan- WHAA! VV

ADVISORY AKA NINTHY PERIOD!

Shishio-sama- Welcome back, Himura lover. You know the drill.

Julie- SHISHIO-SAMA! SHISHIO-SAMA! SHISHIO-SAMA!

Shishio-sama- OK. Take a seat. Actually, do whatever. Just do it quietly, all right? I already burned 5 kids, and I have no regrets if I get to burn more… (Sinister smile)

Kids- …

Fifteen minutes later, just before the bell-kun's ring…

Jan-san (On PA)- Thank you for participating in this experiment! It's gone so well, you will get these teachers the rest of the year!

Kids- OO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bell-kun- RING! RING! RING! RING! You guys are such losers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kids- (Feeling ripped off) …

Jan-san- SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW! (Signs off)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I finally got this done after almost a year! I apologize for the mediocrity in my work, but it's there, isn't it! Please review! I also updated my personal page, so send an e-mail!

NEXT TIME- Chou, Yumi, and their classes!