(A/N: *Sigh* So much work to do, so little time to write. I have two
people breathing down my neck about not updating. *cough* SailorLoneStar
*cough* LittoGrrlStephie *cough* Ahem.....so now that I've started writing
this again, I'll try to update sooner but.....updates will be slow.....make
that extremely slow.
SailorLoneStar: Like they're slow enough already.....*glare*
Shojin: Well, let's get to the point on what you guys are here for. I
dedicate this chapter to SailorLoneStar and LittoGrrlStephie for their
extreme patience in bearing with me on this fic. Now, on with this
chapter!)
Disclaimer: Don't own, just messin' with it.
Key:
"Dialogue"
'Thoughts'
^~^~^~^Dream/Flashback^~^~^~^~^
~~~~~Change of Scene~~~~~~
A Reason to Live
Chapter 5: Reflections in a River of Blood
Previously....
"I won't lie to any of you so," Jin paused his face betraying no emotion closing his eyes and opening them again to look at the group, "hai.....I have killed people....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megumi dropped her tray of ohagi in shock and walked quickly to Kenshin and Sanosuke's side. Yahiko got into a defensive stance expecting Jin to make a move to kill everyone in the dojo. Kaoru was shocked as well, but did not show it as she set her face into a mask of calm and had her guard up just in case things started to get ugly. Kenshin moved up to stand next to Kaoru and held Jin's sword tightly in both hands.
"Is the reason why you're here is 'cuz you want to pick a fight? If that's the case, I don't mind having a little brawl right now," Sanosuke punched his right fist into his left hand and smiled smugly.
"My reason for being here is of no importance to any of you, but I assure you that I am not here to kill anyone if that's what you're all worried about," Jin said sounding slightly annoyed.
The tension in the room began to decrease with his statement but the feeling of unease did not go away. Kenshin handed the sword over to Jin still gripping it tightly with one hand. Jin held out both his hand to receive the sword and to show that he honestly meant no harm to anyone. Kenshin places the sheathed weapon into Jin's awaiting palms and watched as Jin's fingers closed over them. Jin let out a sigh and placed the weapon against the wall and sat down rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he just had a major migraine.
"Please, sit down and I will share with you my past and my journey back here to Tokyo," Jin looked at them all hoping that they would trust them on this.
Everyone shifted a little and sat around in front of Jin ready to hear what he had to say. Jin closed his eyes for a moment in contemplation.
'I can't believe I'd have to tell them the horrors of my childhood.....but I guess there's no choice. I have a promise to fulfill that I intend to keep and to do that I must wait her awhile longer.'
Jin reopened his eyes and smiled sadly, "This is my story....."
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ (Jin's Flashback/Jin's POV)
I just woke up in an unfamiliar room and the last thing I remembered was seeing my brothers and sisters tied up in a pile, the deaths of Kaa-san and Tou-san, and the feeling of warm crimson blood being splattered onto my body. I looked around and saw my brothers and sisters tied up and huddled in a circle. I wormed my way toward them because my hands and feet were also tied tightly. The only light in the room was the lamp hanging on the ceiling above us.
"You're finally awake, we're on a ship if you don't know it yet," Shin said looking up from the floor.
"A ship? Why?" I ask though I could have guessed that we were kidnapped, but I didn't want to admit that it was true.
"We're going to be separated in a few days. They've sold us off to different parts of the world," Chi explained.
"Where are we going?" I can't believe this is happening.
"I'm going to Australia. I'll be trained to be a servant and guide for some rich gaijin who is studying there," Shin yelled but soft enough so the guards couldn't hear.
"I've been sold off to China," Rei cried a little. She didn't mention the reason why she's going there and I really wanted to hug the strong sister that had never cried in all my years of living with her.
"I'll going to a place called Europe and Chi is going to serve a foreigner in Africa," Gi looked up into my eyes with sadness and Chi sat in silence.
"You are all going to go so far away. Where will I be?" I looked frightened at the prospect of leaving my brothers and sisters.....into the unknown.
Rei inched her way to me and allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder, "You'll be going the farthest from us all, you will be taken to America."
We all fell silent and after a few moments I cried. I cried myself to sleep.
(4 days later)
Today we arrived at the Australian port, they took Shin-nii away.....up into the light of the world outside of the small damp storage room. Shin-nii had a face of defiance on and had his head held high showing his unbridled spirit and unwavering courage. That was how he left this god-forsaken place and that was the last I saw of him.
(6 weeks afterwards)
We docked at a port that the sailors said was on the continent of Asia. They beckoned for my last brother and my two sisters. Gi-nii walked forward toward the door filled with blinding white light in almost the same manner as Shin-nii with Chi-nee hundled behind him. They left my site and like our brother before us, that was the last I saw of them. Rei-nee walked to me now that she was unbound, she hugged me. I remembered the her warmth as she enveloped me with her arms. I stared at her flowing brown hair as she held me and I felt her crystalline tears fall onto my soiled gi.
"Take care of yourself Jin-chan. One day, you must return home to Nihon, keep this promise to me." She released me and kissed my forehead before disappearing into the bright light.
Her warmth left me and I became cold again. The door closed behind her and once again, I was shrouded in darkness.
(7 months later)
Finally, we arrived at our final destination. I was unbound and shoved into the bright light of the door way. I blinked furiously at the attack of the suns rays, using my arms to shield my face from the blinding light. As my vision regained it's focus, I was able to see my surroundings clearly. America was a lot different than I thought it would be. For one, it was huge and there was not a sign of any fellow Japanese people around at all. Lots of gaijin were walking about wearing weird clothes. Not too long afterward, I was dragged off by one of the men who had taken us away and killed our parents. He threw me into a big metal creature, which I soon learned was a car, and he used it to get to his hideout of sorts. The man stopped the car and he talked to some men. Those men came to the car and dragged me out. They took me into the large house and locked me into a dark room.
I lived with them and served them for 5 long years. During that time, I learned that they were involved in shady business deals and from time to time we would have to move to conceal our presence from my master's enemies. His new guards were of Japanese decent and carry the traditional samurai weapon, the katana, with them on their patrols around the compound. Even though we were of the same race, I could not relate to them. They made it very clear to me that I was lower than them, lower than the earth itself. My master constantly beat me whether or not there was a reason to do so. He had his own sadistic reasons most of the time, but more commonly, it was because of some "mistakes" that I made. I hardly got enough to eat and everyday was a desperate fight for survival. In my brief moments of solitude my thoughts would wander to my brothers and sisters, wondering if they were suffering too.
I looked into the small shard of a once large mirror concealed in the corner of my room. I did this everyday, watching myself age from weariness and to examine new injuries as well as reminisce of the injuries in the past. I noticed that my once bright yellow hair was fading as if bleached into a softer hue and my once vivid sapphire eyes had lost their radiance, turning into dull blues. I was only 8 years old right now, but I felt like I was older than that. My palms were red and callused from the years of grueling work, my body was thin, yet lined with muscle from my arduous labor. It never ceased to amaze me that I could survive day after day. I wanted to die, to leave this world. I lost my reason to live, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had not forgotten it yet. I was determined to continue living and I desired escape.
From then on, I plotted my scheme to escaping the hellish prison. My small hands continued to do the work that was ordered to be done. I kept quiet and made sure that no one knew my secrets, what I was planning. I had decided that I would escape in the dead of the night when everyone was asleep. Most of the guards, I noticed, slept on duty and that bit of information was tucked safely into the recesses of my mind. I wasn't exactly sure what I would do or whether it would work or not, all I could think of was freedom.
(A week later)
It was a very dark night and it was a new moon. I felt that it was the opportune time to implement my plan to finally escape. I packed up what little clothes that I owed and proceeded to sneak out of the hallways. Luckily, the guards in the hallway were sleeping on duty as usual. I continued cautiously just in case they were light sleepers. I tripped as walked and stumbled into the garden causing quite a ruckus alerting a nearby guard.
"Chikuso!" I muttered as I made a run for the metal fence and climbed it.
I was yanked back by the guard and thrown back to the ground. Was it really that hopeless? Was I really bound to life in this pit! I cried angrily as the guard started to beat me and kick me in my stomach. In anger, I lashed out grabbing the man's leg and bit him as hard as I could. The man cursed in pain and threw me off.
"Damn kid, you're gonna die today! You little piece of shit!" The man spoke in Japanese as he drew his katana from his daisho.
I stood up and backed away into tree in fear.....I was going to die. After all that planning.....I was GOING TO DIE! The guard made a forward thrust and I ducked to the ground. The sword got embedded into the tree. The man cursed as he tried to yank his katana out. I was pinned between the filthy guard and the tree. I looked around for any possible escape route and found none...until my eyes rested on his wakizashi. Without really thinking, I pulled the blade free from it's sheathe and in desperation.....plunged it into the body in front of me.
A horrible scream of pain erupted from the man as he stumbled backwards with the katana pulled free from it's wooden prison. The katana fell at my feet and I stared in horror as the man collapsed backward with the wakizashi in his heart. I fell to my knees.....I just killed someone with my own two hands. I cried I picked up the katana and clutched the cold blade to my body trying to seek comfort. Many voices echoed through the manor signifying that they heard their fallen comrade.
I grabbed my things, sheathed the katana and ran as fast I could. I climbed the fence and landed on the hard concrete on the other side. The voices were in the garden and the alert was sounded. I ignored them and kept running and running.
Soon I found myself in a dark and deserted alleyway. I slumped down to the floor against a building. Clasping my hand to my heart I realized that I was covered with blood. My thoughts wandered back to the manor as I looked at the blood on my hands in sickening fascination. The metallic smell of blood was sickening at first, but it became quite pleasurable and addictive to me. I stared at my hands.....my little hands.....the hands that had just tasted it's first kill. I had killed a full grown man.....all by myself. I was just a child and yet.....I felt as though I had become a man.
My eyes grew weary from the nights events and the rain had started to fall, cleansing the blood off my small frame. I hugged the katana to me and dreamed of what happened. My dreams were consumed of the dead man and the blood. The dawn of the new day, I began my reign of horror.....an unhealthy bloodlust that went on for 3 years.
(End Flashback)
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Jin closed his eyes as took his time to stop. Those memories brought him back pain beyond imagination. His childhood was tainted and full of misery, and those years of bloodshed made him want to throw up just thinking about it.
The Kenshin-gumi remained silent until Kaoru spoke up, "It must have been hard for you.....but how or what made you stop killing?"
The group looked at Jin earnestly waiting for an answer about his salvation so to speak. Jin tentatively opened his eyes and his face was furrowed into a frown.
"I remember that night clearly.....as if it had occurred just yesterday....." Jin spoke softly as his eyes wandered to rest on his katana resting innocently against the wall.
***************************************************************
Japanese Dictionary:
Katana - Japanese sword
Wakizashi - short sword
Daisho - a set with both katana and wakizashi
Nihon - Japan
Chikuso - a curse word
Ohagi - a sweet desert
Reviewer Responses:
SailorLoneStar: Yes I finally updated. I'll try not to make it a Mary Sue, but give me a break, it's my first story! I hope you like this chapter.....I pained me to write it, I made it sound like a death camp but oh well.
LittoGrrlStephi: I hope you're happy now that I updated. I'll try to update Perfect sometime soon. There probably won't be much more to this fic.....at least I don't think so. But it will definitely be K/K!
Lynna: I'm glad you like my story! Sorry about the cliff hanger and this chapter's cliffhanger, but there probably won't be anymore cliffhangers in this story.....don't hold me to that, I'm not sure what will happen in this story.
Yuna-chan: I think I read your story....don't remember when. If I didn't then tell me and I'll go read it right away. BTW, thanks for reading!
Kitsune Kid: Yes, yes, I updated. I didn't know this story was THAT good. I felt that it was pretty mediocre. Many thanks for reviewing and please continue to read.
(A/N: Yes, I'm ending it at a cliff hanger again. The rest of Jin's dark past will be told in the next chapter. Sorry for putting you guys through this. It was very difficult for me to writing this chapter and I'm still upset about my writing style.....I feel that it doesn't really fit. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review. Also read my Inuyasha story, "Perfect", if you haven't already.)
Disclaimer: Don't own, just messin' with it.
Key:
"Dialogue"
'Thoughts'
^~^~^~^Dream/Flashback^~^~^~^~^
~~~~~Change of Scene~~~~~~
A Reason to Live
Chapter 5: Reflections in a River of Blood
Previously....
"I won't lie to any of you so," Jin paused his face betraying no emotion closing his eyes and opening them again to look at the group, "hai.....I have killed people....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megumi dropped her tray of ohagi in shock and walked quickly to Kenshin and Sanosuke's side. Yahiko got into a defensive stance expecting Jin to make a move to kill everyone in the dojo. Kaoru was shocked as well, but did not show it as she set her face into a mask of calm and had her guard up just in case things started to get ugly. Kenshin moved up to stand next to Kaoru and held Jin's sword tightly in both hands.
"Is the reason why you're here is 'cuz you want to pick a fight? If that's the case, I don't mind having a little brawl right now," Sanosuke punched his right fist into his left hand and smiled smugly.
"My reason for being here is of no importance to any of you, but I assure you that I am not here to kill anyone if that's what you're all worried about," Jin said sounding slightly annoyed.
The tension in the room began to decrease with his statement but the feeling of unease did not go away. Kenshin handed the sword over to Jin still gripping it tightly with one hand. Jin held out both his hand to receive the sword and to show that he honestly meant no harm to anyone. Kenshin places the sheathed weapon into Jin's awaiting palms and watched as Jin's fingers closed over them. Jin let out a sigh and placed the weapon against the wall and sat down rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he just had a major migraine.
"Please, sit down and I will share with you my past and my journey back here to Tokyo," Jin looked at them all hoping that they would trust them on this.
Everyone shifted a little and sat around in front of Jin ready to hear what he had to say. Jin closed his eyes for a moment in contemplation.
'I can't believe I'd have to tell them the horrors of my childhood.....but I guess there's no choice. I have a promise to fulfill that I intend to keep and to do that I must wait her awhile longer.'
Jin reopened his eyes and smiled sadly, "This is my story....."
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ (Jin's Flashback/Jin's POV)
I just woke up in an unfamiliar room and the last thing I remembered was seeing my brothers and sisters tied up in a pile, the deaths of Kaa-san and Tou-san, and the feeling of warm crimson blood being splattered onto my body. I looked around and saw my brothers and sisters tied up and huddled in a circle. I wormed my way toward them because my hands and feet were also tied tightly. The only light in the room was the lamp hanging on the ceiling above us.
"You're finally awake, we're on a ship if you don't know it yet," Shin said looking up from the floor.
"A ship? Why?" I ask though I could have guessed that we were kidnapped, but I didn't want to admit that it was true.
"We're going to be separated in a few days. They've sold us off to different parts of the world," Chi explained.
"Where are we going?" I can't believe this is happening.
"I'm going to Australia. I'll be trained to be a servant and guide for some rich gaijin who is studying there," Shin yelled but soft enough so the guards couldn't hear.
"I've been sold off to China," Rei cried a little. She didn't mention the reason why she's going there and I really wanted to hug the strong sister that had never cried in all my years of living with her.
"I'll going to a place called Europe and Chi is going to serve a foreigner in Africa," Gi looked up into my eyes with sadness and Chi sat in silence.
"You are all going to go so far away. Where will I be?" I looked frightened at the prospect of leaving my brothers and sisters.....into the unknown.
Rei inched her way to me and allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder, "You'll be going the farthest from us all, you will be taken to America."
We all fell silent and after a few moments I cried. I cried myself to sleep.
(4 days later)
Today we arrived at the Australian port, they took Shin-nii away.....up into the light of the world outside of the small damp storage room. Shin-nii had a face of defiance on and had his head held high showing his unbridled spirit and unwavering courage. That was how he left this god-forsaken place and that was the last I saw of him.
(6 weeks afterwards)
We docked at a port that the sailors said was on the continent of Asia. They beckoned for my last brother and my two sisters. Gi-nii walked forward toward the door filled with blinding white light in almost the same manner as Shin-nii with Chi-nee hundled behind him. They left my site and like our brother before us, that was the last I saw of them. Rei-nee walked to me now that she was unbound, she hugged me. I remembered the her warmth as she enveloped me with her arms. I stared at her flowing brown hair as she held me and I felt her crystalline tears fall onto my soiled gi.
"Take care of yourself Jin-chan. One day, you must return home to Nihon, keep this promise to me." She released me and kissed my forehead before disappearing into the bright light.
Her warmth left me and I became cold again. The door closed behind her and once again, I was shrouded in darkness.
(7 months later)
Finally, we arrived at our final destination. I was unbound and shoved into the bright light of the door way. I blinked furiously at the attack of the suns rays, using my arms to shield my face from the blinding light. As my vision regained it's focus, I was able to see my surroundings clearly. America was a lot different than I thought it would be. For one, it was huge and there was not a sign of any fellow Japanese people around at all. Lots of gaijin were walking about wearing weird clothes. Not too long afterward, I was dragged off by one of the men who had taken us away and killed our parents. He threw me into a big metal creature, which I soon learned was a car, and he used it to get to his hideout of sorts. The man stopped the car and he talked to some men. Those men came to the car and dragged me out. They took me into the large house and locked me into a dark room.
I lived with them and served them for 5 long years. During that time, I learned that they were involved in shady business deals and from time to time we would have to move to conceal our presence from my master's enemies. His new guards were of Japanese decent and carry the traditional samurai weapon, the katana, with them on their patrols around the compound. Even though we were of the same race, I could not relate to them. They made it very clear to me that I was lower than them, lower than the earth itself. My master constantly beat me whether or not there was a reason to do so. He had his own sadistic reasons most of the time, but more commonly, it was because of some "mistakes" that I made. I hardly got enough to eat and everyday was a desperate fight for survival. In my brief moments of solitude my thoughts would wander to my brothers and sisters, wondering if they were suffering too.
I looked into the small shard of a once large mirror concealed in the corner of my room. I did this everyday, watching myself age from weariness and to examine new injuries as well as reminisce of the injuries in the past. I noticed that my once bright yellow hair was fading as if bleached into a softer hue and my once vivid sapphire eyes had lost their radiance, turning into dull blues. I was only 8 years old right now, but I felt like I was older than that. My palms were red and callused from the years of grueling work, my body was thin, yet lined with muscle from my arduous labor. It never ceased to amaze me that I could survive day after day. I wanted to die, to leave this world. I lost my reason to live, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had not forgotten it yet. I was determined to continue living and I desired escape.
From then on, I plotted my scheme to escaping the hellish prison. My small hands continued to do the work that was ordered to be done. I kept quiet and made sure that no one knew my secrets, what I was planning. I had decided that I would escape in the dead of the night when everyone was asleep. Most of the guards, I noticed, slept on duty and that bit of information was tucked safely into the recesses of my mind. I wasn't exactly sure what I would do or whether it would work or not, all I could think of was freedom.
(A week later)
It was a very dark night and it was a new moon. I felt that it was the opportune time to implement my plan to finally escape. I packed up what little clothes that I owed and proceeded to sneak out of the hallways. Luckily, the guards in the hallway were sleeping on duty as usual. I continued cautiously just in case they were light sleepers. I tripped as walked and stumbled into the garden causing quite a ruckus alerting a nearby guard.
"Chikuso!" I muttered as I made a run for the metal fence and climbed it.
I was yanked back by the guard and thrown back to the ground. Was it really that hopeless? Was I really bound to life in this pit! I cried angrily as the guard started to beat me and kick me in my stomach. In anger, I lashed out grabbing the man's leg and bit him as hard as I could. The man cursed in pain and threw me off.
"Damn kid, you're gonna die today! You little piece of shit!" The man spoke in Japanese as he drew his katana from his daisho.
I stood up and backed away into tree in fear.....I was going to die. After all that planning.....I was GOING TO DIE! The guard made a forward thrust and I ducked to the ground. The sword got embedded into the tree. The man cursed as he tried to yank his katana out. I was pinned between the filthy guard and the tree. I looked around for any possible escape route and found none...until my eyes rested on his wakizashi. Without really thinking, I pulled the blade free from it's sheathe and in desperation.....plunged it into the body in front of me.
A horrible scream of pain erupted from the man as he stumbled backwards with the katana pulled free from it's wooden prison. The katana fell at my feet and I stared in horror as the man collapsed backward with the wakizashi in his heart. I fell to my knees.....I just killed someone with my own two hands. I cried I picked up the katana and clutched the cold blade to my body trying to seek comfort. Many voices echoed through the manor signifying that they heard their fallen comrade.
I grabbed my things, sheathed the katana and ran as fast I could. I climbed the fence and landed on the hard concrete on the other side. The voices were in the garden and the alert was sounded. I ignored them and kept running and running.
Soon I found myself in a dark and deserted alleyway. I slumped down to the floor against a building. Clasping my hand to my heart I realized that I was covered with blood. My thoughts wandered back to the manor as I looked at the blood on my hands in sickening fascination. The metallic smell of blood was sickening at first, but it became quite pleasurable and addictive to me. I stared at my hands.....my little hands.....the hands that had just tasted it's first kill. I had killed a full grown man.....all by myself. I was just a child and yet.....I felt as though I had become a man.
My eyes grew weary from the nights events and the rain had started to fall, cleansing the blood off my small frame. I hugged the katana to me and dreamed of what happened. My dreams were consumed of the dead man and the blood. The dawn of the new day, I began my reign of horror.....an unhealthy bloodlust that went on for 3 years.
(End Flashback)
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Jin closed his eyes as took his time to stop. Those memories brought him back pain beyond imagination. His childhood was tainted and full of misery, and those years of bloodshed made him want to throw up just thinking about it.
The Kenshin-gumi remained silent until Kaoru spoke up, "It must have been hard for you.....but how or what made you stop killing?"
The group looked at Jin earnestly waiting for an answer about his salvation so to speak. Jin tentatively opened his eyes and his face was furrowed into a frown.
"I remember that night clearly.....as if it had occurred just yesterday....." Jin spoke softly as his eyes wandered to rest on his katana resting innocently against the wall.
***************************************************************
Japanese Dictionary:
Katana - Japanese sword
Wakizashi - short sword
Daisho - a set with both katana and wakizashi
Nihon - Japan
Chikuso - a curse word
Ohagi - a sweet desert
Reviewer Responses:
SailorLoneStar: Yes I finally updated. I'll try not to make it a Mary Sue, but give me a break, it's my first story! I hope you like this chapter.....I pained me to write it, I made it sound like a death camp but oh well.
LittoGrrlStephi: I hope you're happy now that I updated. I'll try to update Perfect sometime soon. There probably won't be much more to this fic.....at least I don't think so. But it will definitely be K/K!
Lynna: I'm glad you like my story! Sorry about the cliff hanger and this chapter's cliffhanger, but there probably won't be anymore cliffhangers in this story.....don't hold me to that, I'm not sure what will happen in this story.
Yuna-chan: I think I read your story....don't remember when. If I didn't then tell me and I'll go read it right away. BTW, thanks for reading!
Kitsune Kid: Yes, yes, I updated. I didn't know this story was THAT good. I felt that it was pretty mediocre. Many thanks for reviewing and please continue to read.
(A/N: Yes, I'm ending it at a cliff hanger again. The rest of Jin's dark past will be told in the next chapter. Sorry for putting you guys through this. It was very difficult for me to writing this chapter and I'm still upset about my writing style.....I feel that it doesn't really fit. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review. Also read my Inuyasha story, "Perfect", if you haven't already.)
