I'm back from being grounded… hellowa… thank you very much reviewers I love you all throws yummy, gummy strawberries

Kai pov-

Beep…beep…beep.

This cant be happening…

Beep…beep…beep..

I don't even have to open my eyes to know exactly where I am.

To know I'm still alive.

Can't they just leave me alone?

Why are they depriving me?

This is what I wanted cant they just leave me to have this one pleasure of not waking up anymore?

What gives them any reason to think I still want to be on this godforsaken planet…

For once I was actually happy, when I slowly felt my eyes close and thought "this was the end".

No this isn't going to help at all. I know as soon as the rest come they'll all ask questions. And everything will just get worst…

What about my Ray?

My body feels heavy, the kinda sleepy feeling you get when you had morphine injected into your body…

Beep… beep…beep…

Cant that bloody machine shut up? I know I'm alive, no need to have that there reminding me.

My eyelids slowly open letting the light blind me.

I've always hated hospitals… all the wires and white rooms- I don't like them at all.

I sigh. Why did they do this? I just wanted to die.

I slowly sit up, as a wave of dizziness hits me, my mouth is dry and my lips feel cracked as I run my tongue over them.

This rooms pretty big; I must be the only one in it. My body aches slightly as I attempt to stand up and fail miserably. I'm dressed in white pyjamas or something, and this place smells really old, but like anaesthetics.

Ugh hospitals, full of so many bad memories.

Beep…beep…beep…

"FOR FUCK SAKE!" grabbing hold of the wire connecting to the machine I rip it out, creating sparks.

This wasn't meant to happen. I wasn't meant to live.

A strangled choke escapes my throat as it tightens.

"I don't want to be here" burying my head into my hands I start to… cry.

"WHYD THEY HAVE TO FUCKING SAVE ME? I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! What's wrong with you people? Not everyone's fucking happy in this shit world. I just want to-" I was being stupid I know to well, but, but.

My silent sobs grew worse and I had to bite into my lip to stop making me cry out load.

Why?

"Mr. Hiwatari?" a male voice calls out to me. My eyes widen. He can't see me like this. No I'm not weak. He can't see me like this!

I look up and glare at him. He most likely knows I've been crying my eyes are probably red.

"What happened to your heart monitor? phew I thought you were dead." His eyes looked down to the cable that was now lying next to my hands.

"Oh I see." He stated, and pushed his glasses further onto his nose.

No you don't see anything, you're just pathetic. You know nothing about me so you cant "see" anything.

"Well as your now awake I might as well quickly do a check up."

He told me to take my top off so he could check my heart and other things (I really didn't feel very comfortable with him looking at my body), he checked the other monitors I was hooked up to and smiled at me.

"So do you want to tell me why you wrote that on your arm?" he asked.

I forgot about "that". I place my hand on top of my bandaged arm and looked away.

He knows nothing; he couldn't possibly understand anything I've been threw.

"Nobody else knows about that do they?" I ask my voice was low and was most likely barely heard by him. He shook his head.

"No. I made sure I was the only person who looked after you after your op so, no one else knows about it. On your document I just wrote you had multiple cuts."

"Thank you" I mumble. I feel almost ashamed. He places his hand on my back and pats me slightly.

"Don't worry your gonna be okay"

"… What if I didn't want to be okay?…"

I'm very sorry for this chapter being so short, and I'm sorry if I'm boring you immensely. I'm not doing it on purpose I swear . Anyway don't flame me.