Chapter 6…

Darien climbed the secret stairs and led me to the roof where we usually met on a warm night. But it was really chilly since it was February. I shivered while Darien still covered my eyes with his hands.

"Are we there yet?" I asked hoping that he would let me open my eyes.

"Yup!" He said as he moved his hands away and allowed me to open my eyes. I looked around and gasped as I saw a black baby grand piano in front of me. At the front was the name Steinway and sons. I shifted my eyes from the piano to him and found him smile. "I told you that it would be a surprise!"

"But… but… when did you…how?" I asked still overwhelmed

"Don't worry; I didn't steal it or anything!" He joked. "You remember when last year you played and sang in the talent show after taking a few piano classes? Well, I told Mom that you should really explore into it because you played so well. And Mom helped me out and planned to have this gift ready for you on your birthday."

I was still surprised as I ran my hands through the keys. "But Darien a piano like this one costs well over…"

"Forty thousand?" He asked with a smile. "Your talent is worth getting you the best type of instruments out there. And Mom couldn't have agreed more when she bought it."

I hugged him tightly "Thank you so much!"

"Not yet! Wait for Susanne." He said after I pulled away. Susanne came not long after carrying a cake with her and also had James bring us our jackets so that we don't catch a cold.

"Happy Birthday to you!" both Susanne and Darien sang while she placed the cake on top of the piano. "Happy Birthday dear Serena, Happy Birthday to you!"

Susanne gave me a hug "I should go home now! So the two of you enjoy the cake." She said then left the two of us alone.

The sun set in front of us while we both stood silent watching as night was about to crawl in. Darien sighed then spoke. "I'm sorry Serena!"

"About what?" I asked confused

"I really shut you out for a long time!" He said fixing his gaze on midair. "But after you left that notebook your piano came in. I just remembered how excited I was when Mom ordered it; to see that you'd be really surprised. And that was when it dawned on me that I was being unfair to you."

I was surprised by how much compassion I found in his eyes and how I was beginning to lose my self in them.

"But Serena, I never want you to think that you aren't worth much. Because you mean a lot to me… and whatever your Mom said were all lies! You could never disappoint anyone… especially me; you were there when I needed you." I really did loose myself in his eyes because I couldn't turn my gaze away from them. "Won't you blow the candles and make a wish?" He asked after a while.

"Uh…" I said embarrassed that I was staring at him that way.

"Of course I would have to light them again since the wind keeps on putting the flame out… but don't worry I was prepared!" He said as he took out a lighter from his pocket. He lit the candles once again. "Hurry up and blow them before the wind gets to it!"

I looked at my cake and wondered what I should wish for. Well for starters I wish I could understand all these weird feelings that are crawling up into my stomach. But what I really wanted was that things go well with Darien and that he would be able to cope with the absence of his mother. Closing my eyes I let the breath release from my mouth and put out the candles.

I opened my eyes to find Darien patiently waiting. "What did you wish for?"

"For better times…" I said "…and the old vivacious you!"

He smiled "Do you want to start off with the cake or listen to me play a song on your new piano?"

"You can play?" I asked surprised

"Don't laugh at me!" He said as he took a seat on the black leather bench. "I arranged a piano teacher for you and asked her to teach me the birthday tune to play for you. I only had two days of practice…"

"Darien!" I interrupted him "Just play already; so I can make fun of you!" I joked.

He rolled his eyes and placed his right hand on the position of middle C. He slowly played the notes C C D C F E …C C D C G F… C B A G F E… B B A G D C. (A/N those are the real notes to the birthday tune and there are many versions to it. Sorry it was the one that I learned when I first started to play the piano and its seems a bit corny but I never got the time to try something better since cause we had to always get prepared for a recital or performance in front of a crowd and my teacher also tested us every two weeks with a new piece. If it helps… say the letters like the song happy birthday.)

I couldn't help but smile at the way he was so attentive; trying not to mess up. It was that way when you have someone listen to you play for the first time ever. It was adorable at how simple and cute his piece was. The only thing I didn't understand was why I thought of him to be so handsome for taking such a bold step. It was as if I was looking at him for the first time.

"So do I have potential to be as good as Beethoven?" He asked me anxiously.

I grinned "Let's just say that… anything is possible if one tries!" His smile fell and he gave me a glare. "How about we add something more to it by playing the same notes with the left hand as well?" I asked as I crammed into the bench next to him. I played with both of my hands the same tune that he played trying to put more notes into the simple piece.

"Now how does that sound?" I asked after I had finished.

"No, it's still missing something!" He said seriously

"What?" I asked

"Just a bit of…." He said as he moved his hand to get a hold on something. I eyed his hands suspiciously wondering what he was up to. "Close your eyes Serena, it's another surprise!" Darien said with a mischievous smile. And I did out of curiosity. A second later I felt the cake being smudged on my face and Darien singing Happy Birthday.

"Darien…" I growled as I opened my eye lids that were covered by frosting. He got up and backed up ten spaces.

"There…nothing is missing. That's what you get for making fun of my hard work!" He said as he started to run when I was on my feet.

I started to chase after him with this new feeling of relief hanging over me and having my best friend being able to lift my spirits once again.

I sat doing my biology homework and trying to keep my mind from drifting away again. I looked over to where the piano sat in the room having this powerful attraction to it. The morning sunlight that shone from the window made it look radiant. For the past week I couldn't keep my hands off of it. I met with the piano teacher two times a week and had this eagerness to learn the most beautiful pieces ever written. Not being able to control myself anymore I left my homework and walked over to the piano. I resumed on the piece that I was recently learning… but before I could even finish the first page Susanne popped out of nowhere.

"So, I see you've gone really far with your homework!" She said as she held up a paper.

"I was just still excited about that piano!" I said shrugging it off.

"But it seems something else is distracting you… care to share?" She said with a comforting smile.

"It's nothing okay!" I assured her but it didn't seem as if she was convinced.

She gave one of those nods that usually meant 'You really expect me to believe that?' and then took a seat next to me and sighed. "Miss Serena, your eyes tell it all…you don't have to make excuses! Now tell me… what has been bothering you?"

"What makes you think that something's bothering me?" I asked hoping that I wouldn't have to tell her.

"Well, your mind hasn't particularly been on studying and school work lately!" She said with concern. "You know whatever it is you can talk to me about it. I'll be here for you!" She said as she put her hand on my shoulder. I was debating whether or not I should tell her what was going through my mind. But it was too embarrassing to say to even Susanne. I looked up to find Susanne watching me knowing that I was deep in thought. It was foolish of me because she always was able to read me this way and know that something had been bothering me. But today I was enthusiastic about not letting her know so I grabbed the science paper once again and resumed my homework.

Susanne had this usual trick, she would wait for a long time and until I had given up she would just sit there silently. I heard Susanne sigh from behind me as she got up and maybe even the hurt in it. I would talk to her about anything no matter how bad it was… she never failed me nor ever made me feel uncomfortable. So this dilemma that I was going through couldn't have been that bad that I couldn't talk to Susanne about.

Just as she was about to touch the door knob I stopped her. "Wait Susanne… it is something!" I sighed.

I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Do you not trust me Miss Serena?"

"I do…" I said distantly. "But Susanne how do I tell you this?"

"However you tell it…" she said "I'll try my best to sort this problem out for you!"

I stayed silent wondering where to start off. "These past months…" I said staring at the ceiling "…everything was happening so fast that it felt like the world was revolving rapidly around me. When Mrs. Shield passed away… it felt like a bad dream… she was like a mother to me. But when Darien had distanced himself from me… I really felt scared because I was losing another person that meant everything to me. But that day… suddenly he appeared again when I needed him."

I turned to Susanne "He comforted me after I had that fight with my parents and overwhelmed me with the birthday gift. But you know what really surprised me?" I asked as I got up and went to where the piano was and that night's memory was suddenly once again in front of me. I ran my hand through the keys softly. "I could see how much pain there was in his eyes because the absence of his mom has left this emptiness inside of him. But he was smiling and joking and causing mischief again all the same… for me. He was there for me even though he was hurting… he wanted to make me laugh and be happy for my birthday. Seeing all of that I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I couldn't stop thinking to my self about how handsome he was and why I never saw that in him."

I felt Susanne behind me and turned to look at her eyes "Susanne is it wrong?" I desperately asked her "Is it wrong to suddenly have a crush on my best friend?"

She smiled and touched my cheek "It isn't wrong at all, honey!" she sat me down on the bench. "And don't you dare think that there is something wrong about it!"

"But Susanne this is the same Darien that I have known all these years. The same Darien that I laughed and cried with… the same person that annoyed me at times and yet made me so glad to have him… the same Darien that is my best friend. Yet all those moments I had never thought of him that way. Almost every girl in school agrees that Darien is the best looking guy that they had ever seen. It didn't make a difference to me what they thought of him. I thought that it was silly… I couldn't have thought of crazy Darien to be anything else other than crazy and unpredictable."

"Miss Serena…" Susanne said "There is a big difference between why you find him attractive and why all those other girls that don't even know him find him attractive. In fact I find it very matured of you… most girls don't acquire this trait until after College."

"Susanne…" I said looking down. "Why did this happen? And what are these weird feelings that crawl up into my stomach every time I'm with Darien? I didn't want this… all I wanted was for things to go back to the way that they were."

"Miss Serena… believe it or not but in these two months that you two haven't talked and been apart… both of you have changed… both of you are growing up. And not only that it was a time of much turmoil what with Mrs. Shields' death… you can't possibly expect things to go back to the way it used to be!"

"Then what do I do Susanne?" I asked "Now when I'm with him… I can't help but get lost in staring at him. And it's not as if he could ever see me the same way. In fact why would he even look at me… when he has the most beautiful girls after him?"

"Miss Serena… you know him better than that!" Susanne said with serious eyes. "Has he even given those girls a glance?" I shook my head. She continued. "Then just know that you have a much better chance than any of them do. Don't ever feel ashamed or disappointed in your self because you are a beautiful person… whether or not you believe me."

I hugged her and it was times like these that made me wish Susanne was my real mother. "Susanne?" I asked in her embrace. "Is this what love starts off as?"

Susanne pulled away and gave a laugh "Love?" I blushed as I realized that I had gotten carried away. I don't think Susanne or anyone that is close to me could ever get used to me talking about my sudden attraction toward someone and love. "Love is crazy…" She said as she settled and got serious again. "…you can't expect to fall in love with the perfect prince charming… he only lives in fairy tales and fantasies. Sometimes love will confuse you… there are other times when you will feel so much joy and there are also times of pain. But in between all of that there will be these moments. Moments that you wouldn't trade the whole world for… moments not planned but they really catch you off guard. Moments that you want to live in forever… the moments that you spend with the one that you suddenly realize you have fallen in love with… because life could never be more beautiful!"

"Susanne… someone will fall in love with me, won't they?" I asked "I will have these cherished moments, won't I?"

She gave me a smile and nodded. "I don't see why anyone wouldn't fall in love with you!" She said "And as for these moments… I know that you will have many!"

I hugged her again and wanted to cry because I was really lucky to have Susanne.

"Hmm-hmm" A voice interrupted us… we both turned to find Mother standing before us with a disdain look on her face. Susanne stood up and gave her an apprehensive smile. "Susanne… if you don't mind… I would like to speak with my daughter!"

"Yes…of course!" Susanne said as she made her way to the door then turned around and gave me a wink. I smiled at her… but it faded as I found mother studying me with an annoyed look on her face.

She took a deep breath then put her gaze on me again. "Serena… I'm sure you know that in three days it's your father's and my 15th Wedding anniversary!" I nodded and she continued. "And I'm also sure that you know it's been a while since we have really celebrated our anniversary… and that it holds a great importance to both of us."

I nodded again. "Then, I hope you realize that there will be many people there who respect us and look up to us and that you will not take away from us that prestige." Her eyes were serious and I gulped.

"Yes… mother!" I said lowering my head.

She sat down next to me and sighed. "Serena, we are people of the higher social class and we have sophistication. Our children are our pride and I want to be proud of you. For the party, promise me that you will do what as I say and behave as I expect you to."

I met my eyes with her trying not to spoil the moment and gave in to her. "I promise Mother!"

"Then the first thing I want you to do is…" She didn't finish her sentence because a distant voice called her name.

"There you are Mrs. Tsukino!" Stacy… mother's personal secretary and designer said. "I just needed to ask you some questions about your dress before I have it ordered to be made."

"Yes… go ahead Stacy!" Mother said averting her attention from me.

"I thought the dress would look beautiful in this soft pink fabric… but I wasn't sure if you would be okay with wearing pink!" Stacy said to mother. I had to give Stacy the credit of having style… she always knew just the right clothes to wear. But I could never put that much attention and detail into just clothes… it drives me crazy just looking at my friends do so.

"I trust you Stacy!" My mother said with an amused look. "…even with pink!"

Stacy looked delighted because her face lit up. "Mrs. Tsukino… I can only recommend what will suit you and you look fabulous in any color and any clothes!" Stacy went on with the compliments and mother gave a light hearted laugh being flattered. I couldn't help but roll my eyes... but mother suddenly remembered my presence in the room and gave me a contemplating look.

"Stacy…" She said "You wouldn't mind designing a dress for my daughter would you?"

Stacy looked up surprised and directed her attention to me then turned back to mother and smiled. "I would love to Mrs. Tsukino!" One moment she is standing next to mother and the next she is circling me and studying my appearance. I really wanted to run for some cover. "Of course it'll take a lot of work!" She said to mother. "I'll tell you what… I'll make an appointment with you around three tomorrow." She said to me business likely as she took out her day planner and wrote the appointment in.

"Well Mrs. Tsukino… I'll be going now and I promise that I'll have your dress ready for you in one day's time." She said as she was out the door. Mother was satisfied as well and was heading for the door. I couldn't be more angry that she let Stacy look at me that way. And that even though I've said all those things to her she hadn't even mentioned it. I hated the fact that she ignored the person that I was. I wanted her to notice me without it being something that she disliked.

"Mother…" I stopped her before she could touch the door knob.

"Yes, Serena?" She asked as she turned to me.

"Mother… I" I said a bit embarrassed "I wanted to give both you and Father a present on your wedding anniversary." Her eyes looked uninterested but I went on. "I… I am recently learning a piece on the piano called 'A Comme Amour' and I wanted to dedicate it you and father."

She looked surprised. "When did you learn how to play the piano… that you are planning on playing my favorite song?"

I was surprised as well that the piece was her favorite and at the same time embarrassed that she asked that question. "For about a year now!"

It seemed that she also looked embarrassed that she didn't know the simplest things about me. "Well, I think that would be a great idea… you can play at the party." She said enthusiastically but I was disappointed because I only wanted to play for them. "At least then people would know that my daughter has something she might be good at. I'm glad you are cooperating with me!"

Being hurt by her last statement I tried to get her attention again. "Mother…" I said stopping her again.

"What now, Serena?" She asked looking a bit annoyed.

"I… I'm sorry." I said and found that she was taken aback. "I'm sorry that I said all those things that I didn't mean. I was very disrespectful and foolish!"

Mother looked as if she was in deep thought. She sighed then looked at me with soft eyes. "Serena… it's better if you didn't say sorry."

I looked at her confused by what she meant. "Mother… I"

She gave an amused laugh. "And just why are you sorry? Are you sorry because you so different from everyone else in this family… or sorry that you are closer to the maid than you are to your own mother?"

I was surprised that she would get mad at me for apologizing. "Mother, I'm not sorry about any of that. I am though for talking to you disrespectfully."

"But what difference does that make? You are being ignorant as you always have been even this very moment. Your sorry isn't going to erase this distance that you have created between the two of us." She said with pain in her eyes. "You act as if I'm your worst enemy… damn it… everything I say is only for your own good!" She said as she shook me by the shoulders. But she stopped as she realized that I had my eyes fixed on the ground.

"Nothing I say to you matters!" She said as she got up. "And from now on I won't even say anything. Do whatever you like… but for the party I better not see you this way!"

She turned around and left the room. I watched her from my doorway as she talked to the caterer. There were many times that I wanted her to look at me in a good way. I wanted her to be proud of me… I wanted some attention from her without it being something that she was to yell at me about. But what really hurt was that she blamed me for this distance between us. It never even occurred to her how much I try to get her attention. Nor did she notice how much she pushed me away when I tried to be close to her with her words. And I was surprised that she never once thought that her words hurt me so much. There was many times that I was angry at my self for getting on mother's nerves but nothing I did ever seemed to satisfy her.

I wiped the tear that escaped from thinking about these thoughts. As I watched her I felt really alone and sad knowing that I was different from the rest of the family. That it was impossible for them to accept me as who I am. Even more impossible that Mother would never stop mentioning that people would never guess that I'm her daughter and that I could never fill her shoes.