Hello my wonderful precious readers that I adore so much! Yes I am in a happy mood today because I have the best editor in the world and it just gets to you! Anyway sorry about long updates I am so sorry, Fma calls... And about all the anime's you mentioned, I know and love them all! I am just so happy you guys all have great taste! If you like Fma you can check out my fic, now be warned it has the (proper pairing) so if your into that Roy Ed Crap, it aint happening! Anyway enjoy my storie preciouses

Steel: Seriously I thank you from the bottom of my heart, just take your time with the editing (I mean alot of people are waiting, but I'm sure they would prefer a better story right peoples?) And you definetly make it better! Thanks so much!

Chapter Twenty Six: Calling Old Joys

I knew exactly when Tidus started walking away from me. I knew that I didn't have to end my life anymore, because eventually I thought eventually my body was going to die of heartbreak. I felt like shouting at him again, telling him how selfish he was for stopping the hanging just because he didn't want to see me die. He still didn't want to be with me, yet he wanted me to live. He was being childish and asking for everything. When someone asks will eventually end up with nothing.

I walked through the jail, aimlessly trying to find my way out. Was I just another fling to Tidus? Did he do this with all his girls…? No, Tidus was different… I knew that, but maybe it was just that he was different for me. Was I really different for him? Were all those times I had broken those men's hearts coming back to haunt me…? Is this what is felt like for them? I cursed myself for ever having to put someone through this pain, which would surely be the death of me, and walked out of the jail cell, out of the palace, and out to my lonely emancipation. The guards all stared at me curiously and I was grateful I would never have to see any of their faces again. What I saw when I emerged into the city shocked the living Farplane out of me.

"Lulu? Wakka? Rikku?" I said, choosing not to acknowledge Gippal, whose arms were wrapped lazily around Rikku. So she is his new toy? Good for her.

"Yuna… my, you have changed…" Lulu said, stepping closer. She ran her fingers through my hair and took me into a hug. It was one of those hugs you just dread in your nightmares, where you have this big awkward moment after physical contact with someone you haven't seen for years. That's why I'm not a hugger.

"How? Why?" I asked, almost on the edge of tears that wouldn't be caused by Tidus.

"Gippal told us you got into jail and that we should come bust you out, ya?" Wakka said, patting my shoulder. Shouldn't he be angrier at a situation like this? I glared at Gippal, who shrugged; the last thing I wanted was for Lulu and Wakka to get involved. They motioned me inside the airship where Lulu and Rikku wanted all the juicy details.

I collapsed into a heap at my mention of Tidus, sobbing through pained words that Gippal was just rolling his eyes at. "And I know I killed a man, Lulu, but there was some sort of misunderstanding," I said noticing the look of pure pity Lulu was sending me; Rikku didn't seem to care and urged me to go on with the parts about Tidus.

"I understand, Yuna; it's in the past, okay?" Lulu said raising her eyebrow. "Now go on."

"Then… well, that's how me and Tidus started to fight. He ran away to Bevelle… and I just wanted to be with him, so I gave myself up to the Yevonites… I went to prison and Tidus came to visit me…" I said, looking down.

"Oooo, did you share a romantic passionate kiss with your Praetor?" Rikku joked poking her tongue out. "Did he get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness?" Rikku said acting the whole thing out over-dramatically.

I laughed a little and shook my head. "Well I sort of stole a kiss from him, but he didn't pull away… he was still angry, but he did kiss me back." I grinned and Lulu merely smiled. "But then he said that it was over," I remembered falling into a heap again and continuing my tale. "So I made a huge speech. When I was about to be hanged and he stopped it… I don't know why, because he just threw me back to the guards. So of course I caused a fuss… I don't want to live without him, you know? I wanted to die. I still want to die…" I whispered, trailing off from the last part. Rikku and Lulu did nothing but exchange worried glances, and I was glad they didn't question me about it, because none of them knew what it was like for me. The things that happened to me before Tidus… only Gippal could judge on that one… and he didn't really seem to care.

"So you have stopped the stupid love story. Isn't it sick?" Gippal said, walking over to our table and putting his arms around Rikku, kissing her neck softly.

"No, it's beautiful; I always thought Tidus was a nice guy… but now…" Rikku shook her head. "He must have his reasons. Maybe he just wanted to prepare to ask you to marry him or something, Yuna, and maybe you should just wait." Rikku winked at me. She then took Gippal's hand and ran off somewhere, to do Yevon knows what. Those two are not a good match together. Master manipulator and hyper-active kinky girl, I don't even want to think about it. I smiled weakly at Lulu but I didn't know if I could hold on to this fake smile for much longer.

"Yuna, I know what it's like…" Lulu said.

"Hmm?" I raised my head with curiosity.

"After Chappu… I didn't want to ever love again, I wanted to die, and I came so close to the edge so many times… just so I could just meet up with him in the Farplane. What I'm trying to say is now is, well, Wakka is with me. There will be others, Yuna. You just have to wait," Lulu said encouragingly.

"No, Lulu." I shook my head. "It took me 20 years to find someone like Tidus, and before that, never had I met anyone remotely close to him. I have never fallen in love. I never wanted a child or to get married. I couldn't even think of spending my entire life with someone before I met Tidus…" I smiled shyly. "What I am trying to say is, I waited 20 years to find him, and I don't want to wait another 20 to find a man that's an exact replica of Tidus, if there even is one." I rolled my eyes.

"But it's compromise, Yuna. You may get something different, but still as good on a different level, and you will learn to love the new," Lulu said furrowing her eyebrows.

"No, Lulu, Tidus is the most wonderful man in Spira, and once you have had the most wonderful… you can't go back," I added with a dreamy look on my face. "He may have been clumsy, and he may believe in that old Yevon tradition; he may be the Praetor, someone I swore I would never lay eyes upon, and he may trip over his feet and crack lame jokes, but when it comes down to making me happy… I can't even begin to describe it. Yevon, I love him!" I started to tear again.

Just as the ship landed, I ran out its door into the ocean, crashing to the ground with a thud and running, running to Besaid. I had missed it so much. It would be a wonderful place to die. Lulu accompanied me to my own hut, saying it was a spare one that they needed filled. She also told me about a party they were having tonight, to celebrate my return. I crashed onto the bed, not exactly in the partying spirit, stripping off all my clothes and settling myself under the covers.

My mind constantly fell to memories with Tidus, and the fantasies were more sexual than usual. I had a great imagination, and, if I wanted to, I could probably imagine Tidus next to me, holding me in his arms. But the fantasy would only hurt me more. So he stayed in my mind, the only place I could see him… and I wondered… was he thinking of me the same way? I felt like dying again but tried my hardest to control myself… after all, Tidus was just a human being… would it be stupid to kill myself over another human being? Was it because of him I wanted to kill myself? Or was it because I really had nothing left to live for now?

I was awoken by Rikku, who chucked my clothes onto the bed and sat on the end. "Geez, girl, do you always sleep naked? Don't give me such a fright." Rikku winked.

"You can talk; you practically run around Spira naked!" I laughed and threw my clothes on, seeing the disgusted expression on Rikku's face.

"The term would be half naked, and my attire covers all my goodies, so that's all I care about. Now are you read to party?" Rikku said, jumping up from her seat in an over-exaggerated manner. I shook my head but allowed her to grab me by the hand and lead me outside anyway. It was now nightfall and most of the crowd had gathered around the fire, having deep conversation. I sat next to Lulu and sulked while staring into the fire. I knew she hated that, but I did it anyway.

"Yuna… Wakka and I were just wondering why you ran away from us all those years ago," Lulu said with a hurt expression on her face. I knew this question was going to come for almost 13 years, but I still had no answer to it.

"It's really a long and private story, okay?" I snapped, staring back into the fire again, watching the beautiful way it danced on everyone's face.

"Stop thinking about him, okay Yuna?" Lulu added softly, not having flinched one bit at my outburst.

The night became slowly boring as the group swapped stories. I wasn't in the mood for talking and hadn't said one word all night. They didn't seem to notice or care and their happy story swapping was starting to depress me even more. So, with a sigh, I stood up from the ground and made my way to the beach, looking back to see that no one had noticed that the atmosphere was lacking my presence. Everyone remained the same while drinking and talking, except Gippal, who was looking at me curiously. I rolled my eyes and walked to the beach admiring the beauty I slightly remembered from my childhood. My mother always used to bring me here, saying that once my daddy defeated Sin I would be able to swim here without the fear and terror it brought. It used to make me so happy that my father was going to rid Spira of the big bad monster, until I was old enough to understand.

I curled myself into a ball on the beach, becoming nostalgic and depressed easily. The cool night breeze flew past me, taking my hair and soul with it. I sighed… I just wanted to be with him again, and that familiar ache for him in my body was becoming worse every time my mind spoke his name.

"Hello, Yuna…" a familiar voice said. I turned my head, and instantly, my eyes widened.

TIDUS POV

"Tidus… I am proud of what you did the other day…" Jecht said to me when he closed the doors to the private chamber. "It was decent."

"Oh yeah, I didn't think so. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her. Yevon knows what she thinks of me." I sighed, resting my head on my hand. The past day all I could do was think about her. I had been informed that an Airship that was headed for Besaid had come to pick her up… I wondered who it was. "I love her so much; I wish I could just forget what she had done," I said, looking up at my father.

"You got told the whole story from the woman named Paine, didn't you? The story that started off with her mother being killed by someone she refused to mention, that Braska had asked Paine to watch over Yuna un-till she became a woman. She knows the whole thing about the torture Gippal put her through, about everything, and now that we have released her we can go and find Gippal. He is a wanted Al Bhed criminal," Jecht said, raising his head.

"Old man, he is the leader of the Machine Faction, and his people aren't going to let him go without a fight," I added. "Now I know the truth about Yuna… I can't face her-what am I supposed to say to her? Yuna, I was a stupid idiot who had no idea of what you had been through and left you all alone with the idiot that damned you in the first place?" I cringed, just wondering what had happened that night I ran away from her in the oasis.

"Swallow your pride, boy, she could be alone with that rapist right now, and you're sitting here on your arse," Jecht cried with aggravation, slamming his fist down on the desk.

My eyes widened… Jecht was right. I was such a Yevon damned idiot. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened to her. I had to get to Besaid and fast, and I could think up my apology speech on the way. "Father, I need an airship," I said, standing up and quickly packing a bag of things such as small items, loose clothing, and apology presents even though I knew she couldn't be bought.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Jecht stammered, turning his back.

"Oh don't be an idiot, Father, I know all about the machina you keep underground, and this is a Yevon damned emergency! Don't play dumb; we don't have the time!" I yelled, wishing that my father would just grow up and stop acting like a big child.

"Okay, go talk to the man called Jerrod underneath the temple. He will set you up, and good luck, son. I'm so proud of you. Bring Yuna home once you propose," Jecht said, patting my head.

"Propose? Yuna would never marry into the family of Yevon," I laughed hoping one day I might have the courage to ask her.

"Well then, you must marry into her world," Jecht said, walking out of the door.

I thought on that for a while and smiled. It was all about making sacrifices, and I was willing to give up absolutely everything down to my last article of clothing for that woman. "Besaid, here I come."


Saturn Stars.

Ed is so hot! Just had to say that