Neon Genesis
EVANGELION
Finding Paradise

Chapter 4: Falling in Fire? / Standing in Ice!

Touji walks to school alone with an angelic smile on his face. Two nights ago, Touji had experienced something he never thought could happen. Nothing can destroy his happiness.

"Two days of total bliss." Touji mutters to himself as if a large weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

As Touji turns the corner of the school entrance, he sees Shinji and Asuka walking side by side, yet distant, and in thought. A smile strikes his face as he looks at his friends. "Shinji, Asuka!" Touji yells as he runs off grabbing both by the shoulder.

Asuka takes hold of his arm in disgust, but the brash young boy is too strong for her as Touji drags her and Shinji closer.

"I have some great news!" Asuka still struggles in his grasps and Shinji looks away after his words. "Mari!" Touji snickers with joy. "Mari got her transplant yesterday!"

Asuka finally frees herself and looks at Touji with her Devil stare who only takes Asuka's hand and shakes it. "Who the hell is Mari?" asks Asuka.

Touji laughs at Asuka before pulling her back under his arm "My sister, Mari. Don't tell me Shinji never told you!"

After some thought, Asuka vaguely remembers Hikari talking about a girl named Mari. "A transplant of what."

"Her heart!" Touji yells out for joy.

Even Asuka can know understand Touji's joy, since Second Impact, the Red Cross had been dissolved because it was being stretched out too thin across the world in the cataclysms that had followed. Since then major transplants and Surgery has been in big demand. In Tokyo II, the mafia has a strong underground Black-market in organs. Ever since the Third Angel Mari Suzahara has been in the Hospital with injures incurred during the battle. Out of all of her injuries, the one to her heart was the most dangerous to her health. It had suffered massive nerve damage causing an irregular heartbeat that if not constantly watched and medicated, would throw her into a cardiac arrest.

"That's great news." Shinji says as he at last drags himself from his thoughts of Hikari and Asuka. With Stem cell reaching an art in 2015, the thought of a patient rejecting an organ donation is slim to none, which is great news indeed.

"Is that why you missed school yesterday?" Asuka asks somewhat happy for her archrival's good fortunes regarding his sister.

"Mainly..." Touji chuckles to himself as he thinks back to that night. By the time the conversation ends, the three find themselves in classroom 2-A.

Each sit, all with a lot on their minds, Asuka is the only one in pain, a hateful pain, a pain only Asuka can feel, the feeling of hating oneself. She sits staring at Hikari's desk wondering what to say. 'She took Ikari's side!' Asuka thinks to herself. 'What's going on, it's as if everyone is out to...'

The thought that enters Asuka's head increases her inner torment. She looks about as the class fills, all happy, talking about the little concerns in life. She quickly shakes her head at the idea of a conspiracy against her. 'Impossible, what are you thinking Asuka, they're...'

Asuka stares at the doorway as she sees Hikari walk in laughing; walking in beside her is a somewhat happy Rei. As soon as Hikari enters, her mood is dragged down to the brooding pits of anger. Eye to eye, contact is only made once in the beginning of class. Afterwards the two best friends look away avoiding each other as best they can. Touji and Kensuke look at them through Kenskue's camera lens.

Whispering to Kensuke, Touji asks what's going on. "Hey, what happened between demon girl and Class Rep?"

Aida focuses his camera on Shinji, as he whispers. "I don't know, they where all out for most of the day."

Wishing for more information, Touji IM's Shinji for the lowdown in why Hikari and Asuka aren't talking. This turns to be difficult as Shinji has his laptop closed and he is staring out the window.

Looking over Touji's laptop Aida sighs. "Shinji has spaced out again... He must have seen what happened." Not deterred by Shinji's idleness, Touji begins to IM Rei, this action alarms Kensuke, seeing that Touji is willing to talk to her. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to Rei..."

Kensuke stares at Touji with total shock. "You mean Ayanami."

"Yea, Rei."

TS: Hey Rei...

Kensuke turns his camera onto Rei as she types.

RA: Yes.

TS: Are you feeling better?

Kensuke drops his camera as he reads what Touji is writing. The class looks to him. Because of all the attention, he slides away from Touji's desk.

RA: Yes, thank you for helping me.

TS: It was nothing... Hey, what's with Hikari and Asuka?

RA: Hikari got into a verbal altercation with pilot Souyu, which led to termination of communications between them.

Touji shakes his head at the IM, feeling Rei still has a long way to go since their talk two days ago.

TS: Next time just say they got into a fight.

RA: Is Mari okay...

TS: Thanks to you.

****

By lunch, Hikari retreats to the roof, and Asuka goes to the track bleachers. This leaves Touji, Shinji, Kensuke, and Rei behind.

"Well the war camps have been made." Kensuke says to everyone, as he changes a memory disk.

Touji finally rolls his eyes at Shinji who as been moping around like a lovesick idiot. "Shinji!" Shinji is awake, but just to be sure; Touji hits him on the back of his head. "What's your story?"

"Huh..."

Not accepting that for an answer, Touji hits Shinji again. "Oh, no, no, no. What's wrong with you."

"Nothing..." Once more Shinji is slapped in the head. "Ouch that hurts!"

"Then stop lying and tell the truth."

Shinji bows his head in defeat. "It's about Hikari and Asuka... I was thinking of their fight."

Ready to hit Shinji once more, Touji decides not too, seeing this is as good as he's going to get. "Well, why are they fighting?"

The thought that has been plaguing Shinji saddens him a little but he discloses his feelings on the matter. "Yesterday, Hikari tested in her Eva..." With the undivided attention of all Shinji looks away so he doesn't have to look them in the face, "See... She did so well, they wanted me and Asuka to test her."

Stuck with another episode of Shinji phasing out of the world, Touji whacks him once more in the back of the head. "Get on with it!"

"Well, they wanted us to attack..." Shinji whispers to his audience. "I didn't attack, but Asuka, she attacked as ordered."

"Cold..." Kensuke mutters. "She attacked her best friend."

"No..." Shinji snaps as he raises his head to Aida. "She was just following orders and I made her look like a bad person!"

Shinji's defense of Asuka raises an eyebrow on Touji. "Wait, it's your fault?"

"I was such a coward..." Once more Shinji returns to his muttering. "I was ordered... yet I refused to attack, not because of who she is, it's just that she is a human, I can't attack a human."

Aida's wits are the first to find Shinji's dilemma. "Are you saying that the class rep is looking into your actions too much, and taking them that you did it for her."

Amazed at how close Kensuke is and yet relieved he does not have to tell everything, Shinji sighs. "I don't know what to do..."

The group sits and ponders, all except Rei who seems to be more like a fly on the wall, listening to them talking but not debating it. Touji springs up, feeling that his past two days of good fortune will spread to this problem as well.

"I got it!" Touji looks around with a smile. "Okay, we split into teams, and talk to both of them, then we will regroup and see what we have learned."

Kensuke rolls his eyes at such a plan. "Well that's an idea, but it doesn't solve the issue."

Seeing that his happiness can't buy him intelligence, Touji looks down ashamed.

"Why don't you tell Hikari that you were wrong?"

Everyone looks over to Rei as if surprised she is there. This sudden attention surprises Rei as she looks away, worried that she said something wrong.

"That's not a bad plan Ayanami." Kensuke says as he nods his head. "Asuka is a lost cause, but if we can get Hikari to see that she was wrong for yelling at Asuka for attacking her. We might solve the problem, or at least reduce the damage."

They all look amazed at Kensuke who gives them a look of pride as he thrusts out his chest. 'I knew I would learn something from those diplomacy books I own.' He thinks, praising himself.

Destroying any hope for optimism is Shinji. "But I can't tell her I was wrong!" Shinji's procrastinating frustrates Touji and Aida. "I really can't hurt another person!"

Once more, it is Kensuke with the solution. "Then you go tell Asuka that it was wrong for you to disobey the order, and tell her she's right. This will at least get Asuka to the peace table."

Touji looks at Aida with amazement. "When did you become the dating expert?"

Aida shrugs his shoulders at the question. "This is an Idea I got from the Tokyo 2 Summit, at the end of the Valentines Day War."

Touji and Shinji look down, realizing that this is something that he read in a history book.

"Why not do both?"

Once more Rei is given a few odd stares, this time Rei feels the need to address it "Sorry."

Touji finally clicks with a plan. "I got it! Why don't I and Rei go and tell Hikari that Shinji was wrong, and Shinji and Aida go and tell Asuka that you were wrong for not saying you were wrong to Hikari!"

"That's original..." Kensuke mutters as he realizes that Touji just took his idea and Rei's and combined them. "Wait, why do I have to be involved?"

Touji looks over at Shinji. "You're going to be there to make sure he doesn't back down!"

Still not pleased with the plan Touji came up with, Kensuke points to Rei. "Then why do you and Rei have to go see Hikari?"

Caught in the fact that his and Rei's friendship was made away from the eyes of others, this for Touji is an embarrassing thought. "Well... I don't know... I was just... Because..."

Rei who sits next to Touji looks over slightly at Touji's stuttering. "Is it not because you like Hi..."

With a hand covering Rei's mouth, Touji helps her up and begins to leave. "Then it's settled! You talk to Asuka and we will talk to Hikari!" Touji quickly takes Rei hand and races out, leaving Shinji and Kensuke standing in puzzlement.

****

Out of the sight of others, Touji looks over at Rei, upset about what she said. "Rei, I said don't say anything about it!"

Rei slumps her shoulders with sadness. "I'm sorry."

Seeing that Rei truly didn't mean it, Touji smiles at her. "It's okay, just don't do it again."

The two begin to make their way up the steps to the roof, Rei stops just before the final flight of steps.

"What's up..." Touji asks Rei who seems to be staring at him worriedly.

"Why are you acting so different..." Rei asks in a concerned tone.

Surprised by the question, but not willing to divulge the answer Touji looks away. "It's... It's just not cool if I do it in class."

"Cool?"

Touji rolls his eye with a smile "I guess you don't know that one... Look, I have an image to uphold..."

"We are friends..." Rei looks down as she tries to gain her footing in the unfamiliar conversation. "Are we not?"

With some worry in his voice, Touji puts his hands in his pockets. "Well, yea sure..."

"Why do I still feel sad?"

Touji leans up against the stairway wall. "Look, I told you that the feeling wouldn't go away."

"This feeling feels different, yet it's still sadness."

Touji laughs and nods as he decides that they should continue. "Look Rei, I don't know, maybe you're in love."

Unknown to Touji, Rei watches in stark realization that what he said might be true. "Am I in love..." Rei whispers to her self in an unknown tone.

Now at the top of the steps the heedless Touji calls to Rei. "Come on."

****

On the far side of the school grounds, Shinji and Kensuke stare at Asuka from a distance, both with fear evident on their faces. The sky is clear and the sun is warm as they slow to a stop, both unwilling to continue.

"Well Shinji..." Kensuke says with a chuckle. "Good luck."

"Hey!" Shinji utters in alarm. "Aren't you coming?"

Kensuke only waves his hands at Shinji in defense. "No, this is your battle, I would only get in the way and be a distraction."

Outwitted by the master of military diplomacy, Shinji goes on alone and scared to the core about what might happen as he approaches the red haired girl that has not touched the lunch he made. She only stares at her feet, with her hair blowing in the wind.

Asuka sits in tears as she feels everyone has betrayed her. Her thoughts can't focus on what she saw, everyone so happy, and everyone against her. Everyone but the adults, Asuka strived to be like one of them, her hope was to act like them, and it has cost her dearly. Asuka's intelligence does not help her as she struggles to solve the problem at hand. Nothing seems to fill the void within her heart, a want for someone to be beside her. Anyone would do, as she has no one else.

"Asuka..."

The voice was scared and very quite, yet Asuka knew it was Shinji. She quickly regained her composure, not willing to show weakness to her fellow pilot. "What the hell do you want!"

Startled by her voice Shinji steps back, not wanting to go on. "I'm sorry..."

"I know you are!" Asuka yells, willing to vent her frustration on to Shinji. "You're sorry about everything!"

Her face cannot hide the tears that stream down her face, Shinji stares at Asuka with a look of sympathy. "Asuka, you were right..."

"About what, you idiot?!" Asuka sits back down and starts eating her lunch, ignoring Shinji as best as she can.

"I should have followed my orders..." Shinji takes a deep breath so he can spill his thoughts out as fast as he can. "If I hadn't of disobeyed Misato's order, you and Hikari would still be friends. It just that I didn't think of that at the time, I just didn't want to hurt another human..." Shinji looks down drained emotionally from telling Asuka his personal thoughts. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs; feeling a lot better knowing the problem that was bothering him is out.

After a minute, Shinji finally peers up to see if Asuka is still mad at him. To Shinji's surprise, Asuka is standing there, staring at Shinji with tears running down her face. Shinji cannot help but stare, fixated on her deep blue eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Shinji tries to take a step back from Asuka, only to be grabbed by her.

She holds his hands and warmth seems to spread throughout her. "You cared..." Asuka's voice seems completely foreign to Shinji. "You cared..."

Shinji can only nod before the girl he thought hated him runs up and hugs Shinji tightly. Asuka cannot help but cry. To her, a moment she never thought would come, came. The boy she desperately wanted to care... did.

From afar, Kensuke looks with a smile, seeing one part of the plan is successful. "I love it when a plan comes together." He looks up at the schools roof, hoping that the other half is faring just as well.

****

"Give it back!" Hikari yells out at Touji, with one of her pigtails pulled out, her hair is blowing freely in the wind.

Her temper is aimed at Touji who stands with her stolen hair piece above his head, he laughs as she tries to reach for it. "Come on Hikari, you don't want to hurt yourself." Standing at the door way, Rei only smiles at the two as they fight.

"Err!" Hikari pouts, unable to reach it. "You're such a jerk!"

"Really..." Touji chuckles as he hides what Hikari wants back. "So I hear you're the new big shot."

"What!" Hikari yells caught off guard by the topic change.

Touji only stares at Hikari flushed face; it was obvious she was crying before he surprised her. "Shinji said that you passed your test with flying colors."

Not willing to talk about the subject, Hikari walks away in defeat.

"Shinji also says he is an idiot for not following his orders."

These words strike Hikari with some shock. "What..."

Once more Touji repeats his words. "Shinji... He said he was ordered to test you and didn't..."

"Shinji said that..." Touji gives Hikari a nod. "But I thought he..."

Touji shrugs seeing, his job is done. "Yea, he said that he felt bad because you and Asuka are fighting." About to leave, Touji stops to see Rei still standing by the door and staring at something behind him, with his head down Touji turns around to the confused and distraught Hikari. "Hikari..." He looks at her as she is on the verge of crying. "I'm sorry..."

Upset Hikari looks away. "I don't understand..."

"Look, I worry that..." Touji mind draws a blank to what to say.

Hikari's mind makes a one-eighty as she turns to stare at Touji.

"I wouldn't want to see you... Hurt..."

Touji stands there with the heavy winds blowing around him. Hikari still stands like a statue, unable to understand the emotions emanating from her classmate. However, Rei smiles, knowing that the Touji that helped her is back.

"Suzahara..." Before Hikari can continue, Touji begins to walk away from her. She can't help but just stand there frozen. She is silent and all that can be heard is the wind blowing by as she watches Touji leave. She doesn't notice Rei standing in front of her confused.

"Hikari..." Rei whispers trying to get her attention, with no answer Rei looks down. "... Hikari..."

Snapped from her trance Hikari looks over at Rei. "Sorry..."

"What..." Rei pauses as mixed emotions attack her. "What is it like to feel love..."

Hikari looks over to Rei as she holds back her free hair from the wind, but her thoughts are totally scrambled and she can't get rid of the feelings in her head. 'No, how did my life get like this.' Hikari's thoughts make her turn her back on Rei who is in dire need of answers. "I don't know Rei..."

"Is it painful?" Rei asks as she tries to relate her unknown feelings to Hikari.

With her head bowed Hikari pulls out her final pigtail letting her long hair blow in the wind. "Very painful..." Hikari holds up her wounded hand as she imagines Touji working on it from school a few days ago. Then she remembers Shinji.

With her questions answered, Rei closes her eyes and tries to make sense of such a difficult concept. 'How can something that brings so much joy, feel so painful?'

****

Far below the pilots and their troubled feelings Misato, Ritsuko, and Kaji all sit in front of a computer.

"So, what do we do?" Misato asks looking over the data.

"This is a hard one. I never thought that I would say this but... We were hacked." Ritsuko's words have a jittery tone.

Misato shakes her head as she leans back in her chair. "This doesn't make sense, why would someone hack into Entry Plug schematics, Eva piloting theory, and nothing else."

"What's more disturbing is where it came from, the Command Center." Kaji says as he crosses his arms. "We weren't just hacked, but punked."

"Punked?" Ritsuko asks.

"American term," Kaji says with a smile. "It means used, or fooled."

Misato chuckles a bit as she lets the joke sink in. "So either way, there is someone pulling our strings. Commander Ikari is having Section 2 going over everyone on base."

Looking over at another monitor Ritsuko taps on its screen as it shows an image of the Commanders office. "The problem is there are only three organizations in the world that own Stealth Suits."

Kaji looks over at the image. "NERV, the United States and..."

"That's the question, we know it wasn't any of ours because they haven't moved." Ritsuko tells her friends.

"What about the U.S." Misato asks, wondering how she could know.

"They were being used in an operation at the North Pole. Our contacts in the CIA confirmed it."

Still disturbed about the problems Misato stands to leave. "Whoever they are, they know more than us." Her friends watch her as she stands up to leave. "They walked in and took multiple files from the MAGI. Then they left all the doors open as if they wanted it to be found out. They use stealth equipment that is so expensive that it could bankrupt a small nation all to change the selection of the Fourth child and steal schematics of the Entry Plug."

"Are you saying that it's not a foreign agent, that it is someone in NERV?" Kaji asks before she leaves the room.

"They're acting just like us... Hacking the MAGI system was just a diversion... dig deeper; they took something more valuable then what they're leading us to believe."

****

With school finished for the day, Rei finds herself in the company of Hikari as they walk to NERV Headquarters for tests. Both seem distant and have a lot on their minds.

"Hey, Rei..." Hikari whispers to her friend. "Why would Shinji and Asuka leave so early..."

Too distracted by her own thoughts, Rei can only look at her feet. "I don't know."

They finally reach the entrance where they see Asuka and Shinji apparently waiting for them.

"Hikari..." Asuka, calls out to Hikari just as they come into sight.

The four meet, and Shinji and Rei step back from the other two. Hikari and Asuka both start to talk at once, both wanting to apologize for what happened.

"Hikari, I didn't mean to yell at you..."

Not willing to let her friend take the fall this time, Hikari shakes her head. "No, I was wrong. You had to follow your orders, that's what we all have to do."

"But..."

Hikari interrupts Asuka. "No Asuka... Please forgive me."

****

Touji Suzahara waves good-bye to Kensuke as they part ways to go to their respective homes. Touji turns and begins to walk to Mari's Hospital, still smiling over all the good luck he has been having. Nevertheless, his thoughts keep swaying to his encounter with Rei. She was so different in his eyes, a physical attraction he could not understand.

'Man, what's with me...' Touji thinks to himself as he entered the Hospital. He makes his way into his sister's room where she lies sleeping. Touji sits down at his sisters bedside, and as if hit with a sledgehammer, Touji quickly puts his head down.

"Rei..." His words seem to bounce back into his mind as he remembers the other night.

(Flashback)

"Rei..."

Once more Touji tries to get her attention, as she cries uncontrollably.

"I have nothing... I'm worthless..." Rei whimpers as she grips Touji shoulders tighter.

"Don't say..."

Still out of control, Rei can only rub her head on Touji's chest. "The Commander, why does he let me be alone!"

"Rei, please..." Touji Finally pulls Rei away from him. "Rei, you're not alone!" Before Rei can speak, Touji cries out as he reflects on his own family trouble. "We are never alone!"

His cry startles Rei as she looks at Touji who seems to be distraught.

"I thought I was alone once..." Touji mutters with his head down. "My sister was in the Hospital, my Pop felt that his work was more important then his family. "I thought I was alone..."

Rei sniffs a bit as Touji is now the one upset.

"Then Shinji and I became friends... then I knew I wasn't alone because Shinji was alone and we shared our loneliness so neither of us were alone..."

Trying her best not to cry anymore, Rei studies Touji face. "You found friendship through loneliness..."

"Well..." Touji thinks a bit, knowing that's not all. "My sister she..."

A perfect idea pops into his head that might solve Rei's problem and Touji takes Rei by the hand and begins to head towards the Hospital. The quick pace is uncommon for Rei and she wonders what is going on.

"Where are we going..."

Only a smile can be seen on Touji's face as he looks over at Rei. "To where I go when I feel sad!"

****

"Mari..." A whispering Touji calls out into a dark room. Slowly he reaches in and turns on a light to reveal a girl in a hospital bed covered by blankets with cords, tubs, and IV's hanging off of her. The sound of medical equipment is all that can be heard.

"Mari..." Touji whispers once more, as he walks into her room, with Rei still visibly upset behind him.

The two walk in and Touji leads Rei over to his sister while his sister sleeps. Rei looks at the little girl as she sleeps with bandages over most of her body and one arm completely encased in a cast.

"What happ..."

Touji interrupts Rei, as he already knows what her question is going to be and answers. "She's, suffering from burns and nerve damage." Touji begins to pet Mari's hair. "She was hurt in the battle, Shinji saved her by accident. She is right now going under skin graft treatment and is awaiting a transplant.

Rei cant help but go to the girls side and reach out to gently touch her face. "A transplant..."

"She can't keep her normal heart beat because of the nerve damage..." Touji face saddens as he tells his story. "Unless she gets a new heart she will die here."

"Why do you come here when you are sad?"

Touji smiles cheerfully and answers. "Because she shows me strength, she never quits... Just being around her reminds me that my life is simple."

Thinking about the little girl and all of her pains only makes Rei cry. She looks at another soul she cannot understand. Their logic is like a different language to her.

"Please don't cry..."

His words go on deaf ear as Rei cries once more. "I don't understand I want to... but I do not..."

With his plan failing, Touji can't help but feel even guiltier because he made her cry again. "Look, I mean..." Panicking, Touji tries to calm Rei. "She helps me when I'm in..." Touji looks down in defeat. "I'm sorry Rei... I was just wanted to help you..."

"Help me..." Rei looks over at Touji, her eyes filled with tears.

"I mean, you seem like a nice person... I just feel bad for making you cry... I'm such an idiot."

His defeated words sink into Rei as she looks at him deep in thought. "Why would you help... Me?"

Not able to find a good reason Touji just speaks his mind. "Because I care... I mean... I could let you cry and feel lonely, but it wouldn't be the man thing to do."

Touji's words increases Rei's confidence and she tries once more to stop crying. "Thank you..."

Touji looks over at Rei who is once more looking at Mari, trying to understand her. "See, I told you she makes you feel better."

"You are very selfless..." Rei looks over to Touji with a slight sign of happiness in her face. "I wish I could under..."

"Shhh..." Touji takes Rei's hand and has her sit next to him as he bows his head. "Just listen..." He takes her hand and places it on Mari's chest; he then covers her hand with his.

Silence is all that's heard as they both listen to Mari's weak heartbeat. Rei watches as her chest rises and falls at the pace of her ventilator. Rei seems fixated on how calm Touji is; this sight forces her to strive harder and harder to understand. She then focuses on the heartbeat, still upset; she listens to its struggle, yet it has a will to go on. Tears still flow from her eyes as she begins to think back at how the commander has raised her, this ultimate purpose, and this deadly purpose. Rei owes her life to him yet why did he taunt her with loneliness.

'Why?'

She has never asked such a simple question before, why must she be alone, why must she fulfill his purpose. Next to Touji however, all of her thoughts seem to drift to one conclusion, no more. Rei's tears still flow yet the warmth from Touji's hand seems to make their cold touch against her cheek's disappear.

'Why does Suzahara feel...'

Once more Rei is about to frustrate herself with her thought when Touji speaks a simpler one.

"Listen to it, so strong, so brave... this is where I get my strength from. From her heart..."

Suddenly it clicked, like a wave splashing on to her head, Rei learns Touji's lesson. It's the presence around her sister that gives him peace. 'Yet, I am not close to one such as her.' Rei thinks.

"I have nothing like her to turn to..." Without realizing it, Rei speaks her thoughts.

"I guess..." Touji words stop as he looks at his sister, knowing what she would want him to do. Unable to brag or use his usual personality in front of Mari, Touji can only think of his sister. "I'm here..."

Rei quickly turns to look at Touji after he states that he was there for her, yet before she speaks she looks as he stares at his sister with a smile on his face. Rei simply leans sideways and rests her head on his shoulder. Still crying she now focuses onto Touji's heart, trying to duplicate what Touji feels for his sister. She stares at his sister as well, wanting to help him so much. A want she has never felt before because she has only had a want for death.

"Think with one's heart..." Rei wipes her face as she stares at Mari. "I must think with my heart."

Touji does not take notice of Rei's whispers only when she stands does he look at her. "What's wrong..."

Confidence building that she is about to do the right thing, Rei holds out her hand. "Suzahara, please come with me..."

"Why..."

Rei sniffs a bit before answering. "I want to help your sister."

****

After a long walk to NERV headquarters, Touji finds himself with Rei at the secondary Command Center. Rei's security card grants her access to nearly every part of NERV. Touji just looks around awestruck at her side. Rei however sits at a desk typing away at a computer.

After typing for a while, Rei builds the will to speak to Touji. "Suzahara."

"What's up Rei?"

Still typing, Rei sighs as she ponders her question. "Why do you act differently around the school."

"Err..." Unable to answer, Touji eyes dart around as he tries to think of an answer. "I... umm... It's not manly..."

Knowing that Touji had just contradicted himself, Rei looks over at him. "Suzahara, you stated that helping me was the... man ... thing to do."

"I don't know then..." Touji scratches his head "I guess it doesn't fit my... my...

"Idiom." Rei says as she tries to help Touji answer her question.

"Yea that's it idiom." Touji begins to enjoy the small talk, something that has always made him more comfortable. "It's getting late, I will never get up in time for school now."

"Done..." Rei stops typing and stares at the screen.

"Done what?" Touji asks as he looks over her shoulder at the screen. "What's this..."

Rei begins to catalog her response for her simple-minded friend. "This is a NERV's genetics lab... They clone human organs." Rei pauses to allow it to sink in before pointing to another screen. "This is a Memorandum to them stating an order to create a heart for Mari Suzahara room 202 Pediatrics wing Tokyo 3 Memorial hospital.

Utterly dumbstruck Touji shakes his head. "What does that mean..."

"She is scheduled to have her heart transplant in a couple of days."

Touji stares at all the words on the screen in disbelief. "My sister is getting a heart."

"Yes..."

"My sister is getting a heart!" Touji yells out into the air as it all sinks in. "You got my sister a new heart!"

"Ye..."

Rei gets lifted out of her seat and spun around by Touji as he screams for joy at the good news!

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" Touji puts Rei down and goes over and stares at the screen that lights up the darkened room "Rei Ayanami you're the best!" He turns to her once more, grabbing her hand. "I can't thank you enough!"

Rei can only cry once more, this time at the happiness that she has just brought. An ability she never thought she would have. All the pain she experienced seems to disappear as Touji pulled Rei towards him as he weeps on her shoulder.

"Thank you!"

If self-actualization were possible, Touji would be proof as he pulled away from Rei. Not truly thinking in his happiness Touji cups Rei's cheeks with his hands and draws her close to him "No joke!"

"Why would I joke about..."

That is all he needs to hear from her as he leans in giving her a big kiss on her lips. Pulling away from her once more, Touji runs around screaming into the air leaving Rei blushing heavily with embarrassment. "I can't believe it!"

Rei once more begins to cry for him and for herself as the two leave.

**** With the sun coming up Touji and Rei standout side once more, this time in front of her apartment. Rei only smiles as he parts with a wave. She stands there staring at her hand, slowly the depression of loneliness comes back as she cries with a smile, knowing that she will be alright.

(End Flashback) **** Touji finds himself coming out of his daydream halfway between his house and the hospital; the sun slowly sets with him still emotionally shaken from his memories.

"Touji..."

A voice seems come from thin air and he jumps back. Scared he looks around trying to see who said his name.

"Touji..."

Once more the voice seems to come from nowhere, But Touji is angrier then scared at the voice right now.

Finally, he turns to see Rei Ayanami in front of him. He jumps back even more scared then before. "How the hell?!"

Rei only stands there, wearing something that looks a lot like a Plug Suit, and it is black and gray in color. Because of Its look and Rei's embarrassed stance, Touji can't help but stare at her figure. She stands there emotionless, with her red eyes staring Touji.

After calming down, Touji looks up to Rei. "I thought you were going for some test with Hikari. What's with the outfit..."

"I need you."

Touji eyes widen. "What!"

"I need your help."

"Oh..." Thankful that it was not what he thought, Touji sighs in relief.

"On what..."

Rei holds up an ID card with Touji's picture and name on it. It is a NERV ID, something Touji recognizes from Shinji's card. "What's this for?"

"Go to the Geo-Front, then go to the far side of the lake." Rei stops as she looks up into the sky, Touji follows suit. "Go there and no matter what, do not leave."

"But why..." Touji looks down to see Rei is gone as quickly as she came. He looks around then behind himself confused about what just happened. "It must have been important..." He looks down at the ID card that seems worn and stained. "Rei sure can be strange... it's kind of cute..."

Touji turns and begins to walk towards the Geo-front entrance wondering why Rei wants him to go to the Geo-Front.

To be continued...