Ch. 7: A Tutu?

A/N: Forget what I said at the beginning of the sixth chapter. I'm glad that Shinycry and CackleRubblePop were nice enough to review-although one was a flame. At the end of this chapter I'll post my response. Also, prepare for both OOcness and bad language.Anyway, Hitta and Sasuke were in the middle of a heated battle…

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'Damn,' Sasuke thought, 'that bitch Hitta is good. My sharingan can't get her that well.' Hitta cracked her whip, which wasmade up of brambles, again and caused cuts all along Sasuke's arms. While Sasuke was trying to charge at her, Hitta then made the katas for psychic power, ending with thrusting her arm down and the floor was then covered in smoke. Sasuke stopped all of a sudden when he saw the silhouette of a large animal, which turned out to be…

A white, winged unicorn.

Sasuke fell on the ground from laughing so hard. Hitta looked at him weird as she mounted the horse.

"What's so funny about Oni here? (Oni means demon in Japanese.)" Hitta asked.

Between laughs, Sasuke said, "Well, for one thing, it's a white, winged unicorn. I should've expected a girl to call "Oni." I mean, come on! For a demon, he sure has a lot of flower tattoos on his ass!" On the sidelines, Futta just hung her head and muttered "Baka." As Sasuke resumed his hysterical laughing, an extremely masculine voice came from the horse.

"Call me pretty, would ya? PRETTY THIS, YOU PRICK!" Oni said as he flew up into the air and spiraled downward with his horn-which is quite sharp and pointy-aimed at Sasuke. Sasuke stopped laughing long enough to look upward. For a second, he was thoroughly scared. He used his Big Fireball technique, then ran to the other side of the ring to escape Oni. Unfortunately, Oni came up behind him and shoved his horn in a very uncomfortable spot. Then Oni said the fateful words:

"Fire Technique: death of a thousand years! (A/n: If you remember the first few episodes, this is the move Kakashi did on Naruto during the double bell test.)" Oni then tossed his head upward, and sent Sasuke flying through the air. When Sasuke landed, he went out of the ring, and couldn't get up because he had trouble sitting on his rear. Kakashi sighed, then announced, "Sasuke is out of the ring. Not only that, but he is unable to fight, or sit down for that matter. I'm going to bed." With that, Kakashi left.

After Oni left, Hitta walked up to Sasuke, who was still writhing in pain.

"Oh, by the way Sasuke-teme," Hitta said, " you might want a doctor to examine your colon to make sure Oni didn't poison you. Still, get up off your ass. You owe me a task." Sasuke grunted, then got up, with a pained look on his face. All four people gathered in a circle, while Futta gave the rules.

"Alright," She said, "nothing perverted, too disturbing, or assassinations or poisonings and such. Failure to follow the rules or the task results in a serious wedgie. Okay, now Naruto goes first." Naruto turned to Futta, and ordered: "Take a few pictures of Kakashi without his mask on, and report back as soon as possible." Futta bowed in agreement. In a swirl of petals, she was gone. Hitta rolled her eyes, muttering something like "Showoff."

About two hours later, around three a.m., Futta returned with a packet of pictures. As everyone gathered around Naruto, he opened the packet, then gasped.

Kakashi had his mask off, but the pictures were pictures of Kakashi and Iruka...well, having sex. Of course, the photos were taken from outside since Iruka and Kakashi just went on. Kakashi's face was perfect, from what they could see when Iruka wasn't kissing him, except for that one scar across his Sharingan eye. By the time Naruto, Sasuke, and Hitta finished the pictures, Futta asked, "Well, how're the pictures?" she turned towards the crowd, where Naruto had a lighter under the pictures.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Futta yelled, "THOSE COST ME FIVE DOLLARS, YOU JERK!"

"THESE ARE PORNO PICTURES WHICH SCARRED MY MIND!" Naruto replied, "Anyway, its Hitta's turn for a task."

Hitta looked atSasuke and asked, "Well, what would you have had me do if you won?"

"Well," Sasuke said, "Maybe doing something like do my chores or so-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" His sudden outburst was because he saw Hitta and Futta bring out a large makeup kit. Hitta and Futta gave each other Mona Lisa smiles and said in their trademark deranged voice:

"We're going to make you pretty."


A/N: Well, next chapter is coming next Sunday, where we see how pretty Sasuke gets. Also, here's my response to my latest reviews:

Shikamaruthepinapple: Thanks for your review! The number was five, but close enough, and I have a very rainy day.

CackleRubblePop: Thanks for the review, even if it was a flame. Yeah, I'll admit, my writing sucked a bit in the first chapter, and if you read on, Rie's Byakuugan would be explained. Also, when I started reading, I didn't read or actually watch Itachi until later, so I see why you'd say I wrote him to be too weak.

Shinycry: The pics are for you, Shinycry!