Chapter 13.

When Severus Snape walked into the infirmary that Monday afternoon, he appeared to be his normal scowling self. None of his inner turmoil was visible, and again he blessed his training. He'd had his employer imply that he had feelings for a student, and not just any student, but the Gryffindor Know-It-All. He'd spent an hour in his office with another Gryffindor, a Weasley none-the-less, who had demonstrated remarkable maturity and insight. A Ravenclaw fourth year had melted his cauldron, and a Gryffindor first year had turned in a remarkably insightful essay. He was called to the Headmaster, only to find out that Miss Granger had been visited by Miss Weasley. His reaction to that bit of news had completed the strange day. He was simultaneously filled with rage, and a desire to protect the young woman in the infirmary.

And to top off his wonderfully erratic day, he had the next potion antidote ready. After this morning's events, he did not think it was prudent to wait to administer the potion. So he found himself in the infirmary, about to confront the young woman who was responsible for most of his emotional agitation.

He strode towards Hermione's bed, trying to calm himself. He wasn't a pedophile, he wasn't a pervert, he was concerned for a child in his care, he kept repeating to himself. He reached her bed, and opened the curtain, only to find her fast asleep. He stood there, unable to move, transfixed by sleeping Hermione. She wasn't pretty, but she was interesting, which was much more important to the Potions Master. Her face did not carry any of the curiosity normally present on her face, but instead there was such a look of peace, that Severus was unable to control his response to it. He longed to take her into his arms and promise to make it all better, and to never let anyone hurt her again. He couldn't deny it anymore, he had feelings for Hermione Granger. He hesitated to call it love, as he didn't know her well enough, but there was something more than just platonic concern for her welfare.

Taken aback by his realization, the older man sighed, and ran a hand across his face, closing his eyes. This changed nothing. He was her professor, she his student. He was a spy against Voldemort, she was a muggleborn Gryffindor. Even if it was "love", nothing could be done about it.

"Professor?" The voice interrupted his ruminations.

He opened his eyes, and Instead of a sleeping Hermione, he was confronted by an alert young woman, with her bed covered in books. Wards. Poppy had warded the bed. He hoped he had kept his face clear of his inner thoughts. "Miss Granger, how thoughtful of you to acknowledge my presence." He sneered, mindful of his role.

Hermione Granger winced at the sneer in his voice. She herself had her own emotional day. Not long after Ginny left, she had closed her eyes in order try to forget her trouble by immersing herself in sleep, but she'd had an odd dream, and when she woke, all she wanted to do was to find Professor Snape. She felt safe with him. More than that, she wanted to know the man she had glimpsed behind the mask of the Greasy Git. She wanted more of the type of conversation she had a taste of on Saturday. She wondered at the reason behind his attitude while teaching, whether it was part of the man or part of the mask. He was no longer just a Professor, he was an intriguing man.

She had realized that the Headmaster was quite right in warning her away. On the off chance there was reciprocal interest, it could not bear fruit. With his precarious position balancing between the Order and the Death Eaters, not to mention their current status as Professor and student, any feelings that developed would have to be unfulfilled. She had decided to do what she always did when confronted with an unsolvable emotional problem, she had buried herself in her books.

She didn't know how much time had passed, when she had looked up and seen the man standing before her, looking at her as if she were the most precious potion's ingredient in the world, a mixture of desire, uncertainty, and fierce protectiveness. Then he had sighed and closed his eyes. And his entire manner changed, for the first time showing the weight of all the obligations wearing at him. Hermione couldn't bear to see him look like that, and so had interrupted his reverie.

"Did you need something from me, Professor?" She attempted to school her expression to show none of her concern.

Severus tried not to react to the look of concern on Miss Granger's face. She had seen the last then, but most likely not the former. If she had seen the former, she would have run screaming from the room already. "Yes, Miss Granger. I don't visit students without a reason." The scorn dripped from his voice. "I have another antidote ready, if you are quite finished asking silly questions." He crossed his arms and tapped his foot once, feigning impatience.

"Yes, Professor." She answered meekly. She wouldn't cause him anymore trouble, she couldn't, not now. Hermione carefully picked up the books spread on her bed, and placed them on the table next to her, careful not to stack them more than three high in each pile, then looked at Sev... Professor Snape expectantly.

Severus wondered at her meek tone, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He produced a vial of a particularly noxious looking potion out of the pocket of his robes. This one was an olive green with muddy yellow swirls of color. She held out her hand and he placed the vial in it, careful not to touch her.

She uncapped the vial and drank it in one gulp. She shuddered as the potion slid down her throat, and leaned back and closed her eyes, waiting for a reaction, any reaction. After a few moments passed, she felt nothing. She opened her eyes, and looked at Professor Snape. She didn't even have to speak, he just shook his head, confirming that it hadn't worked. She closed her eyes again, and felt the despair wash over her again. This time, however, her recovery was much quicker. With the revelations of the day, she found she had something to help keep the despair at bay. She would not be a burden to this man before her.

With his newfound knowledge, Professor Snape watched Hermione Granger recover. She really was quite remarkable. He wanted to be able to hold her hand and tell her everything would be fine, that they would find the antidote, they would fix this. But he couldn't. So he stood there until she opened her eyes.

"That is all, Miss Granger. It will be a few days before the next trial will be ready. This potion will dissipate without intervention in the next 24 hours." He turned to leave, when he heard her call his name again.

"Professor Snape, a moment, please?" She asked, pleadingly. She had realized that he had a need to know what the Headmaster thought, about her feelings. She didn't want him unprepared should anything arise.

"Yes?" His voice was dangerously low, his eyes narrowed.

She swallowed at his tone and his look. But she gathered her courage and spoke. "The Headmaster felt it was necessary to give me a warning about close proximity breeding feelings. I can only suppose he meant feelings towards you. I just... wanted you to know." She paused and bit her lip. "In case he said anything to you." She couldn't meet his eyes, afraid her feelings would show.

"I see, Miss Granger. " She couldn't even meet his eyes. She was hiding something. "Look at me!" he commanded abruptly, and without thought, his emotions taking over his common sense.

She raised her head, and met his eyes. His black eyes that held uncertainty, and anger. She couldn't lie to this man anymore. He knew her too well now. So she did the only thing she could, she tried to show him everything.

Severus Snape, Potions Master and spy, Slytherin and brilliant, was taken completely off guard. The emotion pouring out of her eyes and out of her face was all positive. She wanted him, she liked him, she was concerned for him. She was warning him. There was no uncertainty, no disgust, no dissembling. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but he had the feeling that was only because she couldn't spare him her feelings. Without thought, he found he had reached down and cupped her cheek in his hand. She shivered at his touch, and pressed her cheek to his palm.

They stood like that for a moment, and then a book fell off Hermione's side table. They both jumped and tried to gain control of their raw emotions. Hermione was the first to recover, and lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, Professor, it won't happen again." Her voice was full of the regret she felt at the barriers between them.

"No, Miss Granger." he agreed. "It can't." He stated flatly, and watched her nod in agreement. He turned and fled the infirmary without saying another word, turning his back on the young woman he could come to love.


A/N: A bit angstier than I originally intended, but it works. Next up, Hermione and Severus confide in their friends, and (possibly) a plan to catch Ginny!