Día de los Inocentes

Epilogue

Last-minute Love Affairs

When they reached the tree that Sam was hanging from, the two pranksters found that the blond was no longer wearing either his shirt or his shoes. The aforementioned articles of clothing were lying in a neat pile at the base of the tree. The blond was completely red in the face when he noticed his rival and Lars looking at him. Of course, it was hard to tell if he was red because he was blushing or because all the blood went to his head.

Izzy held his chin as he looked around.

"That's weird…" He scratched his head. "Where'd Iggy go?" He shrugged and turned to Lars. "Anyway, I guess since my brother decided to leave for whatever reason, we get to have Blondie all to ourselves."

"N-n-n-n-n-n-no problem…" The other brunet replied, gulping as he became as red as Sam was. He felt his mind go blank as he stood there; staring at the blond in what looked like…admiration?.?.?

'Woah… I had no idea Squid looked so…beautiful in just a pair of jeans…' He thought, drooling slightly.

"Helloooooooo Earth to Lars!" Izzy shouted, bringing him back to the task at hand.

"Uhhhhh wha…?" Lars sputtered, shaking his head as he tried to retain his evil persona. He crossed his arms at Izzy. "Let's do this already!"

"Hmph, that's better. Now then." The junior turned to Sam. "It's time for you to pay for what you put me through today."

He reached into the bag and pulled out two tiny objects. Sam gasped in horror when he realized what they were.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, but I would." His rival smirked devilishly, waving two feathers in his hand. "Hope you're in the mood for some laughs. Because you're gonna laugh until you faint! Muahahahahahaha!.!.!"

Sam shuddered in fright as Izzy handed one of the feathers to Lars, who snickered. He wiggled in a desperate, but futile attempt to get free as the mischievous boys drew closer and closer, grinning madly. They were within arm's length when…

"So then I said to the garbage man, 'Donkey Kong? Whew! You must mean Funky Kong!'" A familiar voice said.

"Oh man, Iggy that was so funny!" A certain female's voice laughed.

"Why thank you, my dear Reggie-Poo!"

"BUH!.?.!" Lars, Sam, and Izzy said in extreme shock as they looked to their left.

All three of them felt their eyes grow to twenty times their normal size when they saw Reggie and Iggy leaving the school. This wouldn't have been so much of a shock had it not been for the fact that the younger Lopez Brother was embracing the purple haired girl lovingly! And worse yet, Reggie was hugging him BACK! The junior had a smile on her face while the freshman had the toothiest grin on his.

The two brunets and the blond stared after them, mouths agape for not even a second before Izzy dashed towards them. Taking this as the perfect opportunity, Lars turned to Sam.

"You know, Squid, you look kinda cute hanging like that." He commented, smirking as the blond tried to hide his blush. "Don't be embarrassed, it's the truth. In fact…" He looked at Izzy, who was busy telling off his brother and turned back to Sam. "If you promise to do me a favor, I'll cut you down."

"Name it!" The junior shouted desperately.

"Go out on a date with me." Lars said simply, grinning. Sam grinned back, though his was a little sneaky.

"Oh, I'll do better than that."

"Heh, heh, heh…" The elder Rodriguez brother snickered, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a switchblade knife. He then turned to the camera.

'Hey, if that twerpy brother of mine can get with Rocket Dork, there's no reason why I can't have a little fun, right?'

With that, he grabbed the rope holding Sam with one hand. With the other, he pressed the button on the knife, making the blade spring out. He then applied it to the rope. After a few seconds of cutting, the rope snapped, sending the blond falling to the ground with a small yelp. He landed with a thud.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Oh I don't believe this!" Izzy shouted at Iggy, who was clinging to Reggie for dear life. "How on earth did you two hook up!.?"

Iggy looked up at his companion, who nodded. He turned back to his brother, who had his arms crossed impatiently.

"Ok, here's what happened."

°°Flashback°°

The water fountain in the boy's bathroom was heard, as well as several grunts, moans, and words like "Darn it!" and "What the heck?.!" This pattern of sounds continued for awhile before a voice said, "Oh forget this!" Then, the sounds of something being unzipped, clothes falling, something getting zipped up, and plastic were heard before the door was opened to reveal Iggy, whose clothes were strangely no longer covered with the yellow paint he used to help Izzy trap Sam. He was holding a plastic bag in his hand.

"Aaaaaahhhhh…" He sighed contently before giving the camera a peace sign and a cheesy grin. "Being Izzy's little brother, I know how important it is to always be prepared! That's why I always keep an extra change of clothes here just in case things get messy! Now to get back to Sammy-Sam."

He then whistled a happy tune as he started walking down the hall. When he turned a corner, he saw a welcome sight.

Reggie.

He grinned toothily and got ready to give his traditional greeting, which was generally a loud scream, when he noticed that the older girl was distraught about something. She was standing in a four-way crossroad, looking down all the different halls. It seemed to the little boy that she was searching for someone.

Wanting to help her, and to make up for the prank he pulled earlier today, he walked up to her.

"Hiya, Reggie-Poo!" He called with a cheerful wave. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Huh?" The taller girl looked down and noticed him. "Oh, hey there, Iggy. Yeah, I'm looking for my friends. Have you seen 'em?"

"Hmmmm…" Iggy put a finger to his chin. "Well, I have no clue where Mr. Knuckles-wannabe and Twisty-Twist are, but Sammy-Sam is…tied up right now." He snickered at the pun. Reggie rolled her eyes at that.

"Let me guess, your brother finally got him?"

"Uh-huh!" He nodded. "It took him forever to get him this year, huh?"

"Yeah." She agreed. "Izzy's not gonna hurt him, is he?"

"Nah, don't worry about it, Reggie-Poo." Iggy waved a dismissive hand. "He's not gonna hurt your boyfriend at all. In fact, he's gonna have a ton of laughs!" He chuckled. Reggie sweatdropped.

"Sam's not my boyfriend, Iggy." She then looked around. Not seeing anybody around, she motioned for the freshman to come closer. "Don't tell anybody this, especially Izzy, but Sam's gay, alright?"

Iggy's eyes brightened at that.

"For real!.? That's so cool! I never knew that!" He cheered. "So does he have a crush on anybody?"

"Shhhhh! Keep it down!" She hissed. "Nobody's supposed to know, remember!.?"

"Oops!" He covered his mouth. "Sorry. But you know me and Izzy are also known as the Yaoi Brothers. When we hear something like that, we just go crazy."

"Ugh… I forgot about that…" Reggie groaned, slapping her forehead. "Anyway, as strange as it is, he likes Lars."

Iggy raised an eyebrow. "Him!.? There's no way he's…" He looked around before whispering. "Like that…"

"Yeah…" She sighed before groaning. "Ugh! What am I gonna do?.! Otto and Twist have been going nuts all day and suddenly disappeared and your brother has Sam in another one of his traps! We were gonna go to the Shack for a milkshake and then go to the movies to see Chao in Space! Now there's nobody to go with. The whole day's ruined…"

"Chao in Space?" Iggy grinned. He's wanted to see that movie since forever! But Izzy wouldn't take him to see it… He looked down, seeing Reggie slump off to probably spend a boring afternoon at home. That was when his head shot up. It seemed like he got an idea.

"Hey, Reggie-Poo!" He called, running up to her. Reggie stopped and turned to him.

"Yeah? What is it?"

She sweatdropped when she saw the boy blushing and looking down. He was shifting his feet as he stuttered to talk.

"W-w-w-w-well…i-i-if ya w-w-w-w-want…I c-c-c-can…g-g-g-go with you a-a-a-a-a-and…"

As Iggy, sweating in sheets, tried to finish his suggestion, Reggie knew exactly what he was trying to say. She held her chin as she thought it over. It actually didn't sound like too bad an idea. After all, as she already said, Otto and Twister were nowhere to be found and Izzy had Sam in his clutches. She had no one else to go with and she didn't feel like being bored at home while waiting for Otto and the guys to show up.

Besides, she did find Iggy kind of cute, in a crazy, mixed up, misunderstood sort of way. She found just about everything about him adorable and sweet. She never knew. Maybe once she got to know him, he could be pretty fun to hang around with. Of course, they'd be going as friends—or rather acquaintances since they only ever see each other when Izzy is pulling something against Sam—but that doesn't mean she couldn't give him a kiss or a hug. After all, they were within their legal rights, at least for a few months, anyway.

"S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-so… Wh-wh-wh-wh-whaddya s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-say…?" Iggy trembled, finishing his proposition.

"I say let's go. My treat." Reggie replied, holding her hand out. The younger Lopez Brother gaped at her.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-you said yes…"

"Yeah, I know." She took his hand and squeezed, causing him to go red in the face. "C'mon. The movie starts at five. That gives us plenty of time to eat and maybe even get to know each other a little better." She winked at him, making hearts appear in his eyes as he was dragged along.

°°End Flashback°°

"And that's what happened." Iggy finished. Izzy gave him an incredulous look before glancing at Reggie.

"Is this true?" He asked. The purple haired girl nodded.

"Every single word."

The brunet's mouth hit the ground as he tried to figure just how someone like Reggie Rocket could pick Iggy over him! He paled and felt all logic leave him when he witnessed the girl pick up his brother and kiss him square on the nose. He stood stock frozen as she put down Iggy, who was blushing madly and giggling like a fool.

"Uhhhhh… H-h-h-h-h-have a good t-t-t-t-t-time?" He said slowly.

"Thanks! We will!" The new couple said, walking off together. Izzy sighed and looked down as he turned and walked towards Sam.

"It's not fair…" He sniffled. "Everybody's getting with somebody but me…" He shrugged. "Oh well. At least I get my consolation prize!"

He reached the tree and looked up.

"Alright Blondie! Get ready to—WHAT THE HELL!.?.!.?.!"

He gasped when he saw Lars and Sam vigorously making out on the ground. The blond moaned in sweet pleasure as the brunet's hands rubbed all over his naked back. Lars was enjoying himself greatly as he tasted Sam's mouth. The connection of their lips created a beautiful contrast of light and dark. Izzy's eyebrow twitched as he held his camera up to his eyes. Before he could take a picture, however, he pulled it down.

"What am I doing?.! I can't take a picture of Blondie!"

He held up the camera.

"But they're making out!"

He put it down.

"So!.?"

He pulled it up.

"But I'm one of the Yaoi Brothers. I gotta take a picture of this!"

He put it down.

"I am not taking a picture of my rival!"

He held it up.

"Oh yes I am!"

He put it down.

"Oh no I'm not!"

This pattern continued for about a minute before Izzy finally dropped the camera and pulled out his mallet. He then proceeded to whack himself repeatedly over the head as he laughed insanely.

Let this story serve as a lesson for any pranksters out there (or anybody, for that matter). When you screw around with love, especially gay love, you're gonna get burned.

THE END

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Post-story Conversation

The scene opened inside the temple Izzy, Iggy, and I were standing around. The elder Lopez Brother was glaring at me while the younger one was sighing with relief.

"Oh thank God it wasn't true…" Iggy said, wiping his sweating forehead.

"WHAT THE HELL!.?.!" Izzy roared at me. His voice bounced off the walls. "Ya said ya weren't gonna write another stupid slash fic!.!.! What was Otto and Twister doing making out then!.?.! Hell, for that matter, where'd Sam/Lars come from!.?.!"

"See Izzy, here's the thing. Día de los Inocentes is Spanish for 'Day of the Innocents,' or as we commonly know it—" I snapped my fingers, causing a bullhorn to appear in my hands. I turned it on and held it up to Izzy's ear. "—APRIL FOOLS DAY!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!"

He gaped at me in disbelief. "Y-y-y-y-you mean this was all an April Fools joke!.?.!"

"Yep!" I grinned before laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!.!.!.! Oh man! You should've seen the—HAHAHAHAHA!.!.!.!—looks on your—HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.!.!—faces! It was priceless!"

"Ohhhh… I get it…" Iggy said chuckling. "Today's April first and you made up that whole announcement to trick everybody. YAY!.!.! Daddy was lying the whole time!.!.!" He held his sides as he joined in the laughing.

Izzy, meanwhile, was seething. Steam literally came out of his ears as a background of fire and brimstone appeared behind him.

"But what about never writing another slash fic!.?.! You said you were gonna start pairing up Reggie and Twister!.!.!"

"Oh please!" I scoffed, ending my laughing fit. I crossed my arms. "You above all people shoulda known I was lying right from the get go. You know damn well that I would never dare to write let alone read—except for that one fic by Silent Whisper—a fic involving that pairing!.!.! I hate, despise, and let's not forget absolutely loath that horrid coupling!.!.!"

"Then why lie, Daddy?" Iggy asked.

"Holiday spirit?" I offered with a shrug. "Besides, I wanted to write this fic to get back at that accursed silver author!" I grunted as I turned away, crossing my arms indignantly. "Hmph! She thinks that just because she happens to have the most chapters written in a RP fic—for the moment, mind you!.!.!—" I shook a fist at the camera before turning back to the brothers. "—she could belittle other people's opinions! Just who does she think she is calling me of all people rude? It's as if what I think doesn't count."

"That mean person."

"Hmph! Whaddya expect from someone that has that little yellow rat as part of their pen name?" Izzy remarked, rolling his eyes. He sighed. "Guess that means we're still doing slash fics, huh?"

"Yep!.!.!" Iggy and I cheered. "We'll keep doing slash fics forever and forever 'cause it's so much fun!.!.!"

"Ugh…" The older brother groaned. "Well, ya still didn't answer my question. What were you doing pairing him up with Lars!.?.!"

I shrugged. "Think about it. Otto had already gotten with Twister, so who was Lars gonna wind up with?"

"But Blondie!.?"

"Well, ya gotta admit, they look kinda cute together. Not as cute as Sam does with Twister, mind you, but Lars is a close second."

"Hey, that's another thing, Daddy." Iggy said. "Didn't you say that Twister, Otto, and Lars had crushes on girls or girlfriends at one point or another?"

"Hey that's right!" Izzy agreed. "The fact that they got with guys at the end makes no sense if they were crushing on girls!"

"Boys, boys! There's a little word known as bisexuality!" I retorted. "All three of them were bi, therefore meaning that they could've gotten with anybody, male or female!"

"Ohhhhhhh…" Both brothers nodded.

"So anyway, I guess we'll wrap things up for today." I said turning to the camera. "For now, I'm Prince Izzy!"

"And I'm Izzy." The elder sibling grunted, crossing his arms.

"And I'm Iggy!" The younger one waved crazily.

"See ya!.!.!" We all shouted.