Disclaimer: Damn. If I only owned Inuyasha! You know how happy I'd be if I had Sesshomaru all to myself? I'd be one happy girl...let me tell you! I really would be!
Reaka: Hello and welcome everyone to my new story! I haven't written an Inuyasha fic for a while, so I decided now would be the time. I've decided to write a nice little fairy tale parody for the holidays. This was inspired by a conversation about armpit hair. Enjoy!
Sango, let down your...hair?
Once upon a time, there was a little, blonde girl running through a cornfield. She had hair of golden blonde. Her family loved her, and she was really beautiful. Her name was Rapunzel.
One day, an evil witch looked upon Rapunzel and was jealous of her beauty and mainly, her hair. So she went to the cornfield where the girl was running and asked to go to her parents house. There, the witch made a deal with her parents that she take the girl and lock her in a tall tower with no doors and one window for her to look out of . Only the witch would be able to go inside the tower. To Rapunzel's, dismay, the parents said yes, only so they can be richer.
So Rapunzel went to the tower...
" Okay! Okay! Stop please!" a voice called, interupting the narrator in the distance. " You're boring me so much, I think I'm going to kill myself if you don't stop!"
If you haven't figured it out yet, the voice was I, Reaka. And I was bored with the story.
" Excuse me, miss," the boring narrator said. " But you are interrupting a story. And I and the characters would appreciate it if you left the premisis."
" Excuse me sir," I said in that same, drawling tone, " but do you even know who I am? Do you?"
The narrator shook his head no.
" I am Reaka!" I announced, " And I'm the author of this fic!"
" Miss Reaka!" the narrator said again. " I'm sorry for my rudeness!"
" Forgiven. But because you are boring the hell out of me, I'm kicking you out of this fic."
" What? You can't do that!"
" Yes I can! I'm the author! Remember?"
" I guess you're right."
With that said, the narrator stepped down from a ladder I didn't even see in the cornfield and walked away. I was surprised to find out that for a guy with such a deep voice, he was about two feet shorter than me.
" Excuse me, Miss Reaka," said the witch as she stepped out of the house. " But what about me? And the rest of the cast of this fairy tale? Without the narrator, what're we supposed to do?"
" Hmm, that is a good question isn't it?" I replied. " Well, follow the narrator."
" But that's ridiculous!" young Rapunzel protested. " That would mean we're not in the story any more!"
" Which is the exact point of this chapter." I explained. " I'm here so I can kick you guys out so that way I can give the readers what they want and put in your replacements."
" Our replacements? That's not fair!" said the prince as he stepped out to the cornfield. Girls, he wasn't a prince charming. So it totally sucked.
" I haven't even been in the story yet!" said an older Rapunzel as she walked out on the cornfield, following the prince.
" Oh shut up already and get out of here!" I yelled. " You know what? I'm just going to kill you all. I'll pull a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and just kill to my heart's content. Who wants to be my first victim?"
Right away, the rest of the cast of the original Rapunzel ran away from me and followed the narrator out of the door, only to be captured by Johnny the Homicidal Maniac himself. Needless to say, they were screaming along the way. Ten minutes later, I found myself cleaning the blood off the walls that flew in from the other room. Once that was done, I stood up straight and smiled.
" Now that that's done," I said, " It's now time to bring in the real cast. Come on out guys!"
Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Sesshomaru, and Rin stepped into the room.
" I thought there were more of you here?" I asked.
" Johnny got to the others," Kagome explained.
I laughed.
" Why are we here again?" Inuyasha asked.
" You'll see." I answered, smiling wickedly.
Reaka: That was fun. All right. I'm going to explain Johnny the Homicidal Maniac to you. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is a comic book. Johnny is obviously the main character, and he likes to kill people. It's a funny comic, and if you're not easilly squeamish by swear words and blood and the other stuff, go ahead and read it! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! The next one, everyone learns their parts. You might be mildly surprised! Later!
