Author's Note: Ciao everybody and thank you for stumbling into my story! It should be blatantly obvious to all at this stage in time, that I am NOT J.K Rowling. My work isn't anywhere near that good and I own none of the character's except Carmen who, as many of you clever people will note, was never an original Potter character and was never mentioned once in the Potter chronicles. So please sit back and enjoy, if you can, the following piece of Potter FICTION!

Chapter one: Clinging to a cruel memory...

"I don't see why we need to keep following him. After all he'll be at school, and you can hardly expect the teachers will be lenient about any of the student's security, most particularly Harry's."

Carmen, her chin in her hand sighed to herself, her focus slipping away from the conversation, as she absentmindedly began to twirl a piece of cotton from her dress round her fingers underneath the table.

Of course she knew she should be paying attention, she was an integral part of The Order of the Phoenix and could quite possibly be putting her life on the line. But it wasn't like the meetings they had in the original Order, like something out of a Hollywood action movie.

Back then she had always been out, rescuing documents, stalking Death Eaters, fighting duels, and still time for a heated romance or two! She had felt like she was making a difference. Now all she seemed to do was sit and listen, nothing felt like it was getting done. She supposed she should be happy. If she wasn't out fighting no one was under threat. But she could feel the impending danger grow everyday, bubbling and growing larger and fiercer, like a pot of water on the stove. She didn't like sitting back and letting it grow. It made her nervous...

Suddenly she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. "Darling?"

She looked up with a start at her husband Remus, his hand on her shoulder, shaking her back into focus, and noticed that the entire table was staring at her. Her cheeks flushed, well as much someone whose cheeks were as olive brown as hers could.

"Yes?"

"What do you think?" asked Mrs. Weasley with a note of impatience. Carmen looked about a little desperately.

"A-about?" she pushed, her voice quiet. Mrs. Weasley let out a great 'Tuh!' of impatience.

"Do you think someone should watch over Harry back at Hogwarts?" Remus said, trying not to smile.

"Oh!" Carmen said, her face dawning with comprehension, "Oh well, I don't know really. After all Dumbledore is there, and you know he's the only one Voldemort," everyone flinched, "was ever afraid of. And it's not as if they allow students to wander about after dark-"

"But Harry always seems to find a way," interjected Mr. Weasley, "Remember his first year and the Philosopher's Stone? And when the Chamber was opened? And then 2 years ago when Pettigrew came back? All in all he's found his way into the Forbidden Forest at least 4 or 5 times!"

"That is true," she sighed, "Then there was the time Remus caught him sneaking into Hogsmeade. I always thought it would be a great investment to install a video camera or two." She added. "But I'll be there, I can keep an eye on him. And surely given these particular circumstances-"

"The current circumstances will have no affect whatsoever on Potter, he has no regard for any rule or danger whether it be minor or major. One could say he seems to believe he is a law unto himself."
Everyone jumped a little as the sardonic voice of Severus Snape echoed from the end of the table. It was the first time he had really spoken all evening. He sat now, arms folded tightly across his chest in the semi darkness at the end of the table. He always seemed cast in the shadows. Or maybe he just attracted them. He flickered his cold, dark eyes onto Carmen.

"Wouldn't you agree, Mrs. Lupin?" he asked, placing a heavy amount on sarcasm on the word 'Mrs'. Carmen felt Remus' body stiffen with anger next to her and grabbed his hand under the table, squeezing it tight.

"Why should we believe a thing you say about Harry?" Remus spat, "Even Dumbledore knows you've got it in for that boy!"

"Remus!" Carmen said warningly.

"Why don't you let your wife speak for herself Lupin?" sneered Snape, his eyes flashing, "You may have married her but you cannot control her beyond forbidding her to speak to anyone outside the school."

"That's not in the least bit true!" he shouted, rising to his feet.

"Isn't it? After all the fuss you made when I spoke to her last year at the Yule Ball?"

"What's a video camera?" Mr. Weasley interjected.

"Oh and we all know what that conversation was about!" Remus hissed, his voice now icy.

"What?" asked Mundungus. Carmen jumped to her feet.

"Remus! Stop!" she demanded, starting to feel embarrassed. Slowly she tried to look at Snape, not wanting to meet his gaze. "No I don't think Harry is in the least bit arrogant Severus. It's true he is what you might call a...mischief-maker, but whenever he has bent the rules it has always been for some greater good. It's not like he got up to put fireworks in the toilet's or anything."

"I think Fred and George did that in their 2nd year." Mr Weasley said absentmindedly.

"That is enough! All of you!" Mrs. Weasley interjected shrilly. Now both Remus and Snape were on their feet, glaring at one another, Carmen looking warily from one to the other her entire face now flushed. "We haven't anytime for this pointless bickering! I think we should call it a night."

There was a pause following this declaration in which all that could heard was the heavy breathing of Snape and Lupin, there eyes still fixed on one another. Finally, Snape turned and grabbed his black travelling cloak off the back of his chair.

"Very well." He said curtly, "I shall be here tomorrow." And with that he strode from the room, all eyes fixed on him as he left.

"Right," Mrs. Weasley said after another slight pause, "I best go bring the children down for dinner." As she left the scrape of chairs followed, as everyone dispersed and began chatting, leaving Lupin still staring at the doorway.

Carmen softly rubbed his shoulder, placing a kiss on his cheek, but it was no use. He shrugged off her hand and headed for the Drawing Room, Sirius following after him. She sighed and sank back down onto her chair, her forehead in her shaky hand.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Mr. Weasley asked softly. Carmen managed to give him a weary smile.

"Yes. Yes don't worry about me." He smiled and made his way hastily to Mundungus before Mrs. Weasley noticed, who had started his pipe up again.

Carmen made sure everyone was occupied before slowly slipping out into the hallway.

Fastening the final buttons of his cloak about his throat, he shut his eyes tight and sighed with agony. It had been 17 years, and it still felt like a shard of glass in his heart whenever...no, he would not go through this again. It hadn't worked then it would certainly not work now. He would forget and if he had to, he would continue on, plunging into his work, twisting and writhing in his sleep, waking up sweaty and panting, until the day he died. But he would NOT lead himself to hope.

"Severus?"

Snape heard the gentle click of a woman's high-heeled shoes, followed by Carmen's sultry lilt. He slowly turned to face her, keeping his eyes cold and his face neutral.

"What did I ever do?" she had the distinct air of an animal protecting her young, her eyes fierce and hawk-like, her quivering voice betraying her front.

"It's not what you did," his voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible, keeping his mouth so tightly clenched, almost as if to stop himself from crying. But Severus wasn't that type of man as he had proved several times over, "It's what you didn't do."

"It wasn't what I wanted. It would have been far crueller to lie to you."

"Cruelty?" Snape asked, his voice now had a definite shake to it. "You don't know the meaning of the word cruelty!" And with a swish of his cape, he vanished out the door, into the waking night.

After dinner Carmen made her way quietly up the stairs, passing Ginny and Hermione's room as she went. She heard hushed voices and the squeaking of bedsprings and smiled to herself. It seemed like Ron was right. Ginny had immediately been filled in on what happened after Mrs. Weasley thundered her from the room.

When she entered her bedroom she quietly closed the door behind her and found Remus, in his pyjama pants washing his face in the washbasin of the dresser. Without a word she walked past him to fetch her nightgown and began to change, he eyes never leaving her husband. When she began to slip her nightgown over her head and let her chest-length black, curly hair down, she finally spoke.

"You can't let him get to you like that." She said quietly. Remus put down his towel and sighed, then went to pull back the covers without saying a word. Carmen took her place on the edge of her bed and continued to stare hard at Remus, hoping to penetrate the answer from him. Finally he spoke.

"I know I just...I don't want anything like...well...I just don't want it to happen again."

"Nothing happened." She told him firmly, "He just said that-"

"I know what he said," Remus said shortly, "I don't want to be reminded of it. But just that thought that he looks at you and-"

"You can't stop him looking at me," she laughed a little, "But nothing will come of it, he can't jinx me with his eyes. Unless of course," she lowered her gaze, "You don't trust me."

Remus who was now in bed, looked reproachfully at Carmen, and pulled her gently to his side. "Of course I do," he whispered, "I just, I don't like you being so close to him all the time."

"Well unless I quit there's very little we can do about that." She smiled, her heavy Sicilian accent lending her words an alluring quality, "Just know that I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled. He lifted her chin and kissed her gently as Carmen wrapped her arms about his neck feeling at peace.

Hours after Remus had finally dozed off, Carmen found herself still awake, running through the events of the night, hell the events of the last 17 years. 17 years...

17 years since she had first joined the Order.

17 years since she had met Remus Lupin.

17 years since she had been sent on that dangerous mission.

17 years since she had first met Severus Snape.

And 17 years since the trouble had begun...