Chapter Four

Disclaimer: If I actually owned anything besides Iao, the series would be a lot better and I wouldn't feel the urge to write this as it would be the show. You touch Iao without my permission and I will hunt you down, castrate you (if you're female you will shortly be parting with your breasts), dig your heart out of your chest with a rusty spoon, and feed it to you piece by piece.

Having said their motto the ridiculous trio finished their lame speech in a suitably 'dramatic' pose.

The original five Kimono Dancers and Grandma fell to the floor laughing. Most of the costumers were too freaked out about Team Rocket to care, those that weren't didn't really get it. Morty was too busy trying to get the people out of the Dance Hall so he could stop Team Rocket to laugh. Although it was easy enough if you could understand were these groups were coming from.

Miki, Kuni, Zuki, Sayo, and Naoko were professionals. They had been training to dance their whole lives. Some of them had started as soon as they could stand in order to take their mothers place one day. They had earned the right to pose like they did for the posters. Training to be a Kimono Dancer and a Pokémon trainer at the same time wasn't easy.

These Team Rocket rejects had only been a part of Team Rocket for three months. The boss wasn't real big on training his lackeys, they either succeeded or failed. The only "training" they actually had was from bossing around their Pokémon pets (which aren't for fighting) as kids. The only thing Rocket taught them was the speech and poses.

Grandma had taught the current dancers mothers to dance. She had seen the fantastic, the good, the so-so could better, the bad, the down right so sad that it was funny, and the so sad that it couldn't be funny. To her well trained eyes the Team Rocket youngsters had no balance, almost no coordination, and were plagiarizing. They fell under the sad, but funny category.

The civilians were just that and didn't know how to cope with the appearance of the "feared" Team Rocket.

Morty as a gym leader was used to battles more so than the civilians and had past experience with the Rockets. Had the civilians not been there to get in the way, he too would have been laughing. He just wanted to get them out so he could help the dancers rid the city of Ecruteak of the pests.

However there was one person that wasn't laughing at the Rocket rejects. It was Iao.

Iao was angry. Dumb and Dumber ruined one of her best numbers. All of the paying costumers and their nice tips just ran out the door. She finally got a break in life and then someone had to go and ruin it.

Dancing was one of her passions. Dancing made her happy. Dancing made her relax. Dancing helped her work off any stress she might have. Dancing kept her from becoming a homicidal maniac. One of her dances just went to hell. Somebody was going to pay.(1)

'Now how to get their attention,' wondered Iao. 'Ah, I know how.'

"We're here to take Jolteon, Vaporeon, Umbreon, Espeon, Flareon, Morty's Pokémon, and that Mew," said Jane.

"That's right," Joe said backing up his partner.

Then Iao stood up and began to laugh. It wasn't a nice laugh. It was the kind of laugh you hear in nightmares that make you wake up screaming for mercy. It was a laugh that would make Naga from Slayers and Kodachi from Ranma 1/2 proud. However Iao's laugh differed in one way.

Her laugh clearly indicated that she was about to go into a berserker rage and it wouldn't be pretty. You could hear the insanity laced in her laughter build up in each pitch she reached. Her "Grandma", "sisters", Morty, and Team Rocket cringed in fear.(2)

Mew peaked into Iao's head was torn between laughing at the plight about to fall on Team Rocket, or cringing at the impending violence.

Iao stopped laughing, looked at Team Rocket, and gave an evil smile that had the Rockets wondering about her sanity.

"Hello,"she began in a voice that was too calm and pleasant to be good, "My name is Iao Starfire. I'm a Kimono Dancer and I work here. You just ruined my dance. I don't like that,"she gave them a grim smile that spoke of rage, impending violence and doom. "You will pay."

With that Iao walked calmly over to the Rockets still smiling.

Mew gave a snicker 'This is going to be good.'

The Rockets stood with straight backs and tried to look brave and haughty like they were coached. However do to their ridiculous looks and shaking knees they didn't quite pull it off. And for the life of them they could not figure out why one sixteen year old girl who wasn't a Pokémon trainer scared them witless not that anyone could tell the difference.

"Grandma," began Iao, "Will you turn on the red strobe light and change the music to track thirteen?"

Nodding and shaking with laughter Grandma did as she was asked. She changed the CD, changed the lighting color, and set it on strobe.

Iao gave a nasty smirk as the music began. She was going to take out Team Rocket using her own personal and original fighting style...Dance Dance Revolution Remix. It was dancing and fighting mixed into one. The style worked so well because your opponent couldn't figure out what the hell you were doing.(3)

Iao stood three feet away from the Rockets looking at the ground as the music played. The strobe light passed over her as the lyrics started and her head shot up.

Take a step off your soap box and see

What it's like on the ground

Check your ego in detox, maybe

Cause you're becoming unwound

And it's killing me.

Much to the confusion of everyone present except Mew, who had looked into Iao's head, she began to dance with a wicked smirk on her face. The reason for the smirk soon became apparent as her foot smashed into Joes' jaw with a high kick and a quick dance spin resulted in Jane being smacked across the face with one of Iao's fans. A quick split sent the Sandshrew flying into a near by wall and knocking it out.

Everyone complains about you

They don't even know what I've been through

I don't want the pain to doubt you

I just want to throw you to the...

A spin and a twirl left the Rockets with no injures. A one footed spin then caught Jane in the stomach and a the beginning of a high kick caught Joe in the nuts, causing Morty to wince, and finished with her foot once again being slammed into his face.

Crowd! Ask them what they want

I'll tell you what they'd say

A hundred million people voting my way loud

And everything is wrong with everything you say

A hundred million people seeing my way

A few more spins, a fast split, and no injuries to the Rockets. A back flip smashed Iao's feet into Jane's jaw one foot at a time and squished the newly awoken Sandshrew, who attempted to help the Rockets, on landing.

Go ahead play the hero this time

If you have any spine

I'm a tolerant zero today

You can say anything to make me stay

Despite the fact they were losing badly Team Rocket tried to stick it out. Despite the fact that Iao was angry with them and beating them up, Joe was becoming infatuated with Iao, seduced by her dancing.

With everything that's happened to me

Losing faith in everything I see

Waiting for the walls to break free

I'm listening but I can't hear a

Iao's Grandma, sisters, and Morty watched the bizarre carnage in sick fascination. Unlike the Rockets, they got the message that Iao was giving them with the music. The message of nobody likes you, we all want you gone, and that they really should consider switching sides.

A jump twirl sent Jane flying past them.

"I don't know what she's doing, but I want learn it," muttered Naoko.

Sound! Ask them what they want

I'll tell you what they say

A hundred million people voting my way loud

And everything is wrong with everything you say

A hundred million people seeing my way

Jane stumbled past the observing group.

"Well they're persistent. You gotta give them that much," commented Kuni.

The others nodded in absentminded agreement.

You'll learn some day

You'll see my way

Don't be afraid

Just go my way

Iao twisted and twirled around and between the two Rocket and then jumped in the air and did a straddle split sending the Rockets to opposite sides of the Dance Hall. The two Rockets staggered painfully to their feet and back to the fight with the much abused Sandshrew wobbling behind them as though it was drunk.

Ask them if they want

I'll tell you what they say

A hundred million people voting my way now

And everything is wrong with everything you say

A hundred million people seeing my way

Everything was going according to Iao's plan. The Rockets were losing, confused, and they hadn't laid a hand on her. Then it happed. Joe groped Iao's ass...bad move.

Iao's family and Morty flinched. They could only imagine what was going through her head. If her temper was anything to indicate by it wouldn't be pretty once she snapped out of shock. Up in the rafters of the ceiling Mew was quaking with terror.

A hundred million people seeing my way now

Iao's battle scream had the wooden rafters and building shake right down to it's foundation. Her fist blurred as she knocked out Jane and the Sandshrew. Joe was going to get "special" and undivided attention.

A hundred million people voting my way now

Various loud and painful sounding crashes, bangs, and crunches could be heard. And... Oh Dear God. She was using the Fans.

A hundred million people seeing my way!(4)

As the song came to a close Iao's eyes glowed a deep purple as did her aura and she blasted Team Rocket and their Sandshrew out of the building with a large blast of psychic energy.

Calming down she sighed. Then she turned to Morty and smiled brightly, ignoring the shocked looks from friends and family. "Buy me lunch?"(5)


(1) You should never ever in a million years make a psychic angry, especially if it's at you. Many a person has regretted it if they lived long enough. Some psychics are nice enough that they will let you live...you'll wish they hadn't shown mercy. My cousin, Ichigo, says "don't you mean, mean enough?" Whatever. It's 1:25 am and I don't have any coffee. Damn me and my muse that gives me inspiration at insane hours.

(2) If you've ever had a bad dream you know what I'm talking about.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm Irish so I've had the joy of running head long into a berserker rage. Being in this rage you are not sane. They aren't pretty by any stretch of the imagination, even my friends who are into S&M get freaked out. I can never remember what I did once I snap out of it but I always feel so happy, cheerful, and stress free afterwards, my victims on the other hand are usually laying on the ground bleeding or running away screaming in fear. They never bother me after that. In fact they go out of their way to avoid me. ...Funny that.

However I do have some idea of what I do while in a berserker rage if it's anything like my cousins' rages. Interstingly enough I do know a few people who have no Irish blood in them and at the drop of a hat can go into a spectacular berserker rage. So that's way Iao, even if she is Hawiian, can go into a berserker rage. Oh and a word of advice. If you see someone in a berserker rage don't try to snap them out of it, let them come out of it on their own.

(3) Mine.

Also I would like to point out if you are a good enough dancer you CAN kick just about anyones' ass. I personally know a twelve year old ballerina that knows how to break anyones kneecap.

(4) I don't own it and I don't know who does.

(5) No she is not hitting on Morty. He is her friend and beating up Team Rocket plus using her powers has left her drained and hungry. Besides all her tips ran out the door, why not ask for lunch?