Life in Death, Part 4
by noiseforyoureyes
disclaimer: the Matrix owns me.
Set between The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded.
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The bodies of the Transient crewmembers had been carefully removed, wrapped, and brought onboard the Nebuchadnezzar in the space of an hour; they were now miles out of range of the Sentinels Tank had spotted earlier. The task had been a somber one, all too reminiscent of the aftermath of their own tragedy only months before. It ignited a cold, smoldering anger in each of them. Neo had learned long ago that as a freedom fighter it was his duty to embrace and hold onto that anger, for it was what distinguished the rebels from the machines; anger in place of ruthless indifference. The righteous fury of a freedom fighter gave one focus. They did not allow it to become a crutch for self-pity, nor a gateway to deterioration. They clung to it and centered it. It was what kept them going.
An uneasy silence pervaded the mess hall that night. The ultimate failure of the Neb's venture into the Matrix lay heavily on all their minds; each crewmember felt a piercing, guilty restlessness. They wanted to do something, anything, to honor those deaths, give them meaning... though ultimately, they knew, that meaning was not theirs to give. Still, the thought of returning to Zion with nothing but the location of the wreck and an inexplicable mystery attached to its demise was maddening.
Neo stared at his dinner, of which he had eaten a maximum of one and a half bites. He could hear the methodical clinking as Morpheus, Trinity, and Tank all dutifully finished theirs. He knew he should, for many reasons, but he couldn't, for so many more. He was waiting for the question - still trying to form his answer, finding with increasing frustration that whatever specifics he could think of only added to the confusion.
"What did he look like?" it finally came.
Neo knew that Morpheus was not asking about the man's RSI.
He chose his words carefully, wanting to phrase what he had seen correctly. "He wasn't plugged in," he said, decisively. "But he wasn't a program either." He fingered his mug. "The code described a human, but there was no connection to the mainframe." A pause; he swallowed. "It's like he was..."
"A ghost," finished Morpheus.
Neo met his captain's eyes for the first time that night, and nodded.
Trinity stole a glance at the two of them: so quick everyone doubted it had come as soon as it was over.
"What did he want?" Morpheus wondered to none of them in particular, brow furrowed in consternation, voicing the question they had heard in the quiet all night.
But Neo wasn't so sure it was what he wanted, as much as what he knew, somewhere in those cryptic ravings, that the system was intent upon eradicating...
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He watched the dripping codelines at the feed station with increasing detachment. It was his shift, normally something he looked forward to, because of the legit excuse to avoid sleep. But now he felt his usual restlessness clouding over, the day's events having drained him, emotionally and physically, far more than he wanted to admit. He crossed his arms over the keyboard and propped his chin up, staring ahead with futile purpose, not even noticing it when his eyes closed, still seeing the green symbols in the dark...
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Trinity always felt like the only person alive when she awoke for her shift - when the dissonance of her thoughts died away and she was left with the all-pervading silence of the underground, intensified by the absence of Neo's breathing by her side. She crept off towards the Core, knowing each step and railing by heart in the darkness. Ready to take up her duty and send him away to get whatever rest he could - probably none, as usual, she thought with a sigh, especially in light of what had happened earlier that day.
But the sight that instead met her eyes brought her to an abrupt stillness. She tensed, hesitant to let out a breath lest she disturb the scene. Bathed in the glow of the computer screens was Neo's sleeping figure, his head resting in the crook of his arm, expression serene: not wholly unlike that fateful moment she had first contacted him inside the Matrix, though the situations, of course, were entirely reversed. He seemed now, as he had then, so openly vulnerable, his chest rising and falling more steadily than she had seen in ages... a dreamless sleep, for once? She hoped so.
Quietly she stepped forward, no longer with any intention of sending him anywhere. Instead, she knelt by his side, gazing at him for a handful of moments, feeling a peace melt over her just from watching him. The weight he bore, the responsibility, what he had seen and experienced in the past few days - she saw no trace of it in him now. He seemed to have retreated, finally, to a place they could not reach.
She placed her hand like a shadow on his shoulder, and rested her head against him, facing the screen, watching what lay in the depths of that green ether.
They stayed that way, all through the night.
-----
He woke to red, enveloping his sight and mind: flashing on the screen, screaming from the alarms, lighting his every nerve on fire.
PROXIMITY WARNING
He tore his eyes from the screen and stumbled to his feet, hardly having a moment to register the fact that he'd been asleep and curse himself for it before Trinity intercepted his line of vision. "The EMP," he breathed.
"Charging," she said, and suddenly Morpheus was there, and all three of them ran for the ladder to the control room. Neo glanced back before going up, waiting for Tank to appear --
The moments passed, but no one was coming.
Neo felt his stomach sink. Surely he must have heard the alarms?
Trinity caught onto the source of Neo's hesitation, and dashed in the general direction of Tank's room. Neo manned the operating station for the time being, checking their status - four minutes, max. He looked at the glowing EMP, ready the instant the squiddies came into range, and then looked desperately at the Core entrance. Tank, what the hell? You're the most reliable man we've got...
Morpheus climbed down the ladder from the control room, concern etched on his face. "Neo, where...?"
He shook his head. Trinity reentered the Core, heading straight for an EMP gun. "I think he's outside," she informed them, while rather violently hitting the switch to lower the ramp.
They all instantly followed suit.
