Now your world is way too fast,
Nothing's real and nothing lasts,
And I'm aware
I'm in love and you don't care
Turn your anger into lust,
I'm still here but you don't trust at all
And I'll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what's yours and leave the rest
So I'll survive
God, it's good to be alive
-"Big Machine" by Goo Goo Dolls
"Hi!" I said breathlessly to the guard before the gate to Guadosalam. "Have you seen Lady Yuna's party pass?"
He looked down his nose at me. This dude was tall, dark, and Guado, which by far was a freaky combination. "Even if I did know where the Lady Summoner was, I would not tell the likes of you. Now find another way, desert scum."
Air caught in my throat as I realized the implications of his statement. I felt my face frantically, slid the dark sunglasses back up to my eyes again, and smiled brightly. "Now look, kind sir, I really don't want to start trouble. I just need to talk to her real quick, you know? Get an autograph and all of that good stuff. Where is she?"
"I refuse to let you pass. Turn back this instant, or else I will call reinforcements."
Well, wasn't he just peachy keen pleasant. I looked quickly behind me, and realized that stupid, stupid me, ran ahead of a certain Legendary Guardian in my excitement of finally arriving to our destination. Of course, I didn't think about the fact that he was my free, backstage pass, into this almighty hallowed ground. Which, was pretty stupid actually, considering there wasn't even anything COOL in Guadosalam. All that was here was a stuffy maester of Yevon, Maester Seymore, and the Farplane, where all the dead people hung out. Not really the best tourist attractions, if you ask me. The least they could have had was an amusement park!
"Okay, how about I make a deal with you?" I said, smiling sweetly, fluttering my eyelashes at him. Well, actually I fluttered my eyelashes about twice before I realized that they were hitting my sunglasses and it wasn't very attractive. So, instead, I stepped back on my right foot, put my left foot in front, put my hands on my hips, and did my best I'm-A-High-Paid-Super-Duper-Model pose.
"Deal?" he asked, his breath quickening a bit. AHA! My skills weren't completely useless, after all. I smiled sweetly, licked my lips and said...
"If you let me through, I will..."
I was speaking quietly, and he leaned forward a bit, dipping down close to me. Yuck. Man, I don't understand how the Guado girls deal with these Guado guys, considering this one happened to be mighty ugly and mighty smelly. Regardless, I still had to do my job. "Yes?"
"I will..."
"Yes..."
"Beat you within an inch of your life if you don't step away from her," a voice from behind me said gruffly.
I spun, excitedly smiling and laughing, and launched myself at him. "Sir Auron, you're my HERO," I yelled out in the girliest voice that I could manage, completely and totally embarrassing him without even a second thought. He frowned and brushed me off of him, intent on completely beating on the smelly Guado guard.
"S...Sir Auron... Excuse me, I didn't mean..."
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"This... Al Bhed scum... was trying to get into Guadosalam," he spat out, completely disgusted with himself for nearly falling for my super de-duper flirting skills.
"That Al Bhed Scum, as you wish to call her, is Lady Rikku, Guardian to Summoner Yuna. Now, I suggest you let us both pass without a question, and maybe I'll let you keep your life."
The guard bristled at the thought of me, the almighty Lady Rikku (hey, I like the sound of that!), being guardian to someone as important as my cousin. Well, hey, it's not my fault I'm so cool. "An Al Bhed, a guardian? Never. You lie, Sir Auron. She herself told me that she wanted an autograph."
With that little comment, I looked at my toes nervously, giggling a bit at the fact that this stupid, smelly Guado dude actually thought that I was serious. But, when I glanced at Auron, I realized that maybe, just maybe, the guard just might have went a teensy bit too far with the whole "Sir Auron, you lie!" stuff. I mean, I've said some crazy stuff to that man, but I have never, ever point blank told him he was a liar. In fact, I've never even doubted that something that he said was true. That's just how it is with him. If it comes out of Auron's mouth, then it might as well be gospel, because he's got the trust of the whole entire world behind him.
But of course, I could see why, considering he was menacingly tapping his katana on his shoulder, the look in his eye clearly saying, "DEATH TO YOU, GUADO GUARD", which I think the smelly dude noticed, considering he was nervously twitching. Knowing that a brawl was about to happen, I kindly decided to step in and save the poor thing's life. I touched a hand to Auron's arm, and slowly shook my head. He nodded a bit and backed up, still tapping that katana on his shoulder in such a way that made ME twitch.
"Look... What's your name?"
"Uh... H..Herman," he stuttered nervously.
"Okay, Herman..." I said, patting his shoulder and ignoring the grunt that came from behind me, "I can understand why it would be a bit unrealistic, the whole me being a guardian thing. But, that really isn't for you to decide or even ponder, honestly. So, I suggest that one, you let us in, and two, you never, ever call Sir Auron a liar in his presence ever again, considering the fact that you are narrowly escaping death at this moment as it is. Now, the gate?"
"Yes, my lady," he bowed, touching the small button on the wall and opening the gate, to my surprise. I opened my mouth to speak, but Auron had already grabbed my hand and started to drag me down the path to the hidden city.
"But wait, did you see that?"
"No, but I sure did smell it," he grumbled. "Now, where is Yuna supposed to be?"
"Waiting at the inn, or in front of a wildly public, easy to find place." I started to speed off in front of him, almost getting up to a run before I felt him yank me back. "What?" I asked, exasperated.
"Look, you already got into trouble with that guard, so you need to stick by me and not show your eyes at all. Keep the sunglasses pushed up on your nose at all times. Got it?"
"This would be so much better if my eyes were only normal..." I mumbled.
"Well, they're not, so stop complaining. Besides, your eyes are fine the way that they are."
"No, Auron, they're not. They're fine when they look normal. Now, they're just goober green and swirly and very, very, very ugly looking." I pushed my sunglasses farther up my nose, smushing them to my forehead. "Hopefully, they'll go back to normal soon."
Auron looked at me strangly, "Normal? What are you talking about?" He pulled me onto the side of the path into the underground city, keeping me out of the way of the travellers.
"Something happened after the fight with Chimmy... It happens every once in awhile, and I'm not exactly sure what causes it, but usually my eyes are emerald green and you can hide the swirls, but now it's completely and totally obvious that I'm Al Bhed, which isn't very helpful by the way and... why are you laughing?"
Which he was, by the way. He was standing there, hand peaking out of his crimson coat, other hand leaning his katana on the ground, chuckling like I just told him the funniest joke in the whole world. He shook his head, trying to catch his breath, as I tapped my foot on the ground, getting more and more upset as he kept going. "Rikku, I'm sorry, but the fact that you were Al Bhed was ALWAYS obvious. Goober green..." he mumbled as he laughed some more, "Wonderful color description, Rikku."
"Look," I said, frusterated and annoyed with his amusment at me, especially since it wasn't very funny at all, "I hate to stop you when you're obviously having such a rockin' time over here, but we really do need to go find Yuna and the rest of the group." His eyes opened wide, and his mouth dropped open in shock, but I was in no mood for him. "What, Auron? Come on, let's go," I said, starting off at a determined pace in front of him.
"Amazing," he grumbled behind me.
There goes the SECOND time that he's said that one word in my presence. "What is?" I asked, unconciously mimicing our last encounter.
"You're turning into me, it seems. It's very unbecoming on you."
Oh my... the NERVE of that man! "Well thanks Auron, I just love getting insulted after I just totally saved your butt from that stupid innkeeper, not to mention the fact that I can't seem to find my cousin, and you are being completely USELESS!" I yelled, grinding and stomping my boots into the ground.
"Useless," he grunted. "Thank you, Rikku."
Then, he walked away, leaving me to chase behind him, fuming as I stomped along the path downward into the heart of Guadosalam. The city was lovely, I suppose, but it really wasn't my cup of tea, considering I grew up in a place that was made of blood and sand and sweat and metal, sitting in the middle of an island in the sea, in the heart of Bikinal. Picturing Home really took the beauty away from this boring place, especially since both of the attractions at this place I wasn't stepping near with a ten foot pole ANYWAY.
Numbero Uno was the Farplane, of course. The spiffy, wonderful place where all of the dead people on Spira turned into pyreflies and lingered, waiting for innocent, nieve people to come inside. Then, when someone walked inside the Farplane and thought of a dead loved one, the pyreflies assembled again to make a holographic image of them. Mind you, the image didn't move, talk, or even listen to you, really. It just sat there. Not worth the price of admission, in my opinion.
The second thing, which of course was the focus of all of Spira, was Maester Seymore's humble abode, which really and truely was a mansion. I guess once upon a time, Maester Seymore's daddy decided to bring the whole Guado race up to date with the Yevon thing, and because of that, Seymore got to be a head of Yevon. The weird thing about him though, which freaked me out when I saw that one postage stamp of him once upon a time, was that he was half Guado, half human. Not exactly the most handsome race combination, lemme tell you. He was definatly a creepy one, but even if I did want to see him up close, I couldn't.
It wasn't exactly like they were going to let me take the grand tour of his house or anything. I mean, they would probably suspect me of "poisoning the maester" or "stealing from the palace" or something else stupid. Not that I wouldn't steal, mind you, but that's not the point.
But suddenly, I spotted who I needed to see. "YUNIE!" I screamed, running at her, smushing her with a hug.
"Oomph, Rikku! Settle down, you've only been away from me for about three hours."
Whoops. "Oh, sorry." I pried myself away from her, but then grabbed her back when I saw the look on her face. "Yunie, what's going on?"
"Well, we were invited to..."
"An all expense paid trip back home? Thank goodness!" I yelled, dancing around.
She laughed out loud, smiling at my stupidity. "No, no, not there."
"Then where? I hope it's somewhere cool, like an amusement park or a dance club or something."
"No, not there either."
"Where, Yunie, where?"
She smiled, put her hands behind her back, and said the one thing that I never, ever expected.
"Maester Seymore invited us to dine at his house."
