**Author's humble thanks:
Michella … Well, you can see your name again! And thank you for the ass-kicking remark... it is a hobby of mine… :P Pfft… anyway, I'll stop writing now and go… well, write! As you ordered, Madame… Thanks for coming back and reviewing again! I love it when people do that!
Athlantis … Yet another loyal reviewer… I love you guys! And why would I take Cordy away?! She's my favorite character! But thank you for the incredible compliment about the writers. It's been a pipe dream of mine, but I live in Nowheresville, Reality. Chances of writers taking notice, very slim. Anyways, thanks for reviewing. Enjoy the next part!
Imzadi … You have no idea how thrilled I am to have so many loyal readers/reviewers! And I'm honored that you read even though Spike & Cordelia aren't your #1 characters. Anyways, you're right about Lindsey… and I'd like to see where I go with this too! Thanks for taking a look at my correction. I still apologize for that. As for a girl for Lindsey… I'm not sure. I want to give him one, but I don't really like the options. We'll have to see.
Grav … *wipes multitude of tears from eyes* Your review was sooooooo nice. Thank you! It all started with me saying "Where will the visions go? Wouldn't it be cool if Spike got them?" Then it progressed into Lorne seeing Cordy's aura and the memories… who knows what's going to happen in my head next… So, thanks for your compliments. Color me grateful & touched!!!!
More gratitude at the end cuz I have so much to give…~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Angel sat in his office and did what he did best… brooded. He knew that Gunn and Fred were working as hard as they could on the new text, despite Gunn's reluctance to do so. If only he could figure out what Lindsey had told him. It didn't make sense. How could the Senior Partners be using him as a tool when they let him take charge of this place? What was their purpose... if it was even true? And how did Lindsey know about Conner? Things didn't add up… Like Lindsey being here at all, for starters. Why did the formerly evil lawyer even care about what happened? And Cordelia? What had happened to her? Was it really her that all of them had heard earlier? Opening his desk drawer, he pulled out a worn picture… it was of Cordelia holding Conner when he was a baby. The two people in this world that had meant the most to him… and they were both gone. He lost Cordelia because he couldn't see what was right in front of him until it was too late. And Angel lost Conner because he saw just a little too much. If Angel had a better sense of humor, he'd laugh at the way fate dangled hope and happiness in front of him only to snatch it away when it was reached for. But he didn't, so instead he was miserable. With a growl, he threw the object in his hand down on his desk and spun around in his chair to look out the window. That picture shouldn't even be there... In a world where Conner was wiped from everyone's memories, the picture of him and Cordelia should be non-existent. Yet it was there, as a reminder for Angel. A reminder of how things could have been… With a shake of his head, he cleared the morose memories and thoughts from his head as best as he could. He had another apocalypse to avert and he had to focus on that for now. Then he could think about other things. Maybe this one wasn't as serious, he thought to himself. And the ever-Cordy-ready response of Pffft rang through his head. He waited for the usually biting In your dreams, Broody Boy, but it never came.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Holy crap!" Fred exclaimed as she looked at one and then another computer. Gunn's head snapped up from where he had been 'resting' it on the desk in front of his computer. He stood up and went to stand behind the woman while rubbing his eyes furiously.
"Your 'holy craps' are usually an excited version of your 'oh mys' and are about as significant as Wes' 'eurekas', so I can only take that as a good 'holy crap'. It is a good one, isn't it?" the black man asked, going from excitement to uncertainty in the space of five or so words. Fred looked back at him, an understanding smile on her face.
"It's a good 'holy crap'… and least right now. I've figured out that the language in the book is a conjugate of the early Saxon language with a slight Celtic undertone. It dates back before the sixth century. The reason there are no records of the language is because it was never documented. I'll have to ask Wesley to look into this more… he'll know the history behind it and possibly be able to cross-reference enough to make some sense out of what's being said… This is as far as my knowledge can take me," she said. Gunn put both of his hand on Fred's shoulders.
"Well, girl, this gives us a start. And that's better than having nothing… Let's go relay this information to our resident book boy…" he said, grinning. Fred grinned back as she hit the print button on the computer.
"AI, one… apocalypse, zero," she said as she stood and stretched her arms.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cordelia had long since cocooned herself under the blankets of Wesley's bed. She lay on her side, staring at the wall, with the covers pulled to her ears. She could deny everything all she wanted, but she knew that when she opened her eyes tomorrow morning, it was still going to be the same. The Conner that they had known, held, and loved did not exist in this world… which means that everything she had done had not happened… except that it did. In her world, it did. Cordelia let out a sigh. Her eyes were dry… she couldn't cry any more even if she wanted to. She had to live with her memories. Another part of her punishment… At that thought, Cordelia slowly sat up. There was going to be no sleep tonight. And from the sounds in the living room, the same was true of Wesley. Another sigh escaped her as she stood up and wrapped the robe around her tighter. She went over and peeked out the slightly ajar door. Wesley was sitting on his couch, leaning over the coffee table reading a stack of papers. He was alone.
"Wes?" she inquired. He looked up at her with a small smile.
"Did you sleep at all?" he asked. Cordelia shook her head.
"Have you?" she asked. Wes ran a hand through his disordered hair.
"Well… Spike had a vision. We've been running into dead ends. I don't know why he had a vision of everyone at the Hyperion… We haven't been back there in months… And we've had no leads in that direction at all. Now, if this were a demon or an ancient language, I could figure this out. But right now, I'm drawing a complete blank," he said, his tired, bloodshot eyes looking at her. Cordelia smiled gently as she sat down next to him and rubbed his back. Of course he was drawing a blank. What the vision showed didn't exist… which brought up a question from Cordelia.
"Wes?" she asked, wanting to know his version of everything. "What happened to me?" Wes sat back against the couch as he thought back.
"Well… according to what Angel told us… he was with you when you collapsed…" he started. Cordelia frowned.
"I collapsed?" she asked dubiously. Wes nodded.
"Yes. I can't say for sure what happened, only that Angel brought you in… after that, you were put in the medical wing and hadn't twitched a finger until you disappeared. We were all frantic to figure out what happened to you, but we had absolutely no idea…" he said. Cordelia leaned back as she thought over what happened.
"Angel was with me…" she muttered to herself. Cordelia let her mind wander back through her memories. If Conner didn't exist… It was so confusing. What memories were substituted in place of Conner? What did her friends remember that she, Cordelia, didn't? The frown on her face deepened as she stood up. "I don't get it…"
"What don't you get?" Wesley asked, startling her. She forgot that he could see and hear her. Cordelia bit her lip in though for a second as she stared at him.
"Nothing, Wes. I'm just thinking…" she said, pacing slightly. She suddenly turned to Wesley, a fistful of robe clenched in her hand.
"My stuff, Wes. Did you guys… you know… get rid of it?" she asked. Wes looked up, shocked at the question.
"Of course not, Cordelia! We had every hope that you were going to wake up. Fred kept reminding us of how you'd react if you woke up and didn't have your clothes. And lest not we forget how you took it the last time your clothes were… ummm… misplaced…" Wes said. Cordelia smiled, eyes watering slightly, at the memory. Her eyes met her friend's with a slight nod of her head.
"Where are you keeping it all?" she asked. Wesley thought again for a second.
"Angel put it in one of the apartment storage areas…" he said. Cordelia nodded again. She debated whether or not to have Wesley go retrieve something suitable for her.
"Can you take me there?" she asked, deciding against having Wes pawing ineptly through her things.
"Of course," he said, standing up and indicating she follow him out the door. After a few twists and turns down the hallway, Wes stopped in front of a door. Using his key he opened the door and reached in to flip on a light. Cordelia stepped past him to see boxes and boxes of her stuff. Chuckling to herself, she realized that, surprisingly, a lot of them had clothes written on the. Far cry from where you were four years ago, Cor, she told herself as she reached out and opened the top of one box. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Wes standing in the door, watching her.
"You can go back if you want Wes. I may be a little bit," she said. Wesley smiled gratefully.
"What if someone comes?" he asked, the smile slipping slightly. Cordelia shrugged.
"It'll be okay. If someone decides to visit La Boutique Cordelia, I'll hide in the boxes," she said. Wesley shook his head with a smile before he closed the door to give her some privacy. Cordelia dived back into the box, pulling blouses and skirts out one by one. After searching carefully through two more boxes she finally found what she referred to as her 'comfy clothes.' She quickly pulled out a pair of worn jeans and a soft baggy sweater. Another rummage through a box brought out other needed items, and she quickly changed. With a happy sigh, she folded up Wes' robe and set it down. Floating down memory lane for a moment she ran a hand over the other boxes thinking of everything that had to be in them. Reaching down into one of the open boxes, she pulled out a picture frame. It was a picture of her and Wesley in the Hyperion. With a smile, she laid it down and fingered through other frames. Fred, Gunn, Lorne at Caritas… When she picked up one of her and Angel, the back of the frame fell out, causing that picture, plus another to drop. Curious, she picked it up, only to suck in a breath. It was Conner… It was a picture of baby Conner! How could there be a picture of Conner if he wasn't here? Wesley didn't know, and apparently Spike didn't know either… And knowing Fred the way she did both Wesley and Spike would know if she knew. That meant that Gunn didn't know either. If there was still a picture that meant someone knew… and process of elimination meant… Oh no. No no, no no, no! Cordelia dropped the picture as if it had burned her and brought her hands up to her forehead. Angel. Angel knew. Angel knew everything.
"Well, well, luv. I should have known you couldn't stay away forever," Spike's voice suddenly rang out in the silent room. Cordelia turned swiftly around to face the ghost, who was now leaning carelessly against the door. He chuckled at the look on her face as he straightened up and walked towards her. Thinking quickly, Cordelia stepped over the picture, hiding it from the ghost as best she could.
"Spike…" she croaked out as he reached out and tugged on a strand of her hair. Spike clucked his tongue.
"And back in solid form again. You're going to have to teach me that trick, luv. My, how the Powers must like you…" he said, bitterness tingeing his words. Cordelia shot him a look.
"Jealous, Spike?" she asked. The look in his eyes made her immediately want to retract her words. When he made to say something back, she held up her hand. "I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't mean that…" The blond man hesitated a second before he nodded.
"So… what's with the bloody cloak and dagger routine?" he asked after a second. Cordelia looked at him questioningly.
"What do you mean?" she asked. Spike chuckled.
"Oh come on. I hope I don't look that stupid… You're staying with the Watcher… I was there earlier. He was acting strangely… hiding something… or someone. Wasn't sure who, but since you're hiding out in here, I've connected the dots, chit," he said. Cordelia crossed her arms.
"I'm not hiding out," she said with a glare. This time Spike laughed outright.
"Right… and I'm Martha Stewart… If you're not hiding out, why haven't you ran that cute little cheerleader ass right into the Poofter's arms?" he asked.
"You think my ass is cute?" she asked, her eyes wide.
"Don't change the bloody subject," Spike said with a look. Cordelia huffed and turned away from him. There was silence.
"You had a vision earlier," she commented.
"Yeah, what of it?" he asked. Taking a deep breath, Cordelia bent down and retrieved the picture from the floor. She needed to trust someone... She trusted Wesley, but he was too involved in this. She needed an impartial ear.
"Is this the baby you saw in it?" she asked as she turned and handed the ghost the picture. Spike looked down, his eyes suddenly going wide.
"What is this, luv? What do you know?" he asked, confused. Cordelia laughed harshly.
"Isn't it great being the all-knowing seer and not really knowing crap?" she asked. "I certainly don't miss that…" Spike glowered, holding the picture out.
"I mean it Cordelia… what do you know?" he asked. Cordelia's bitter bravado dropped to one of resignation.
"Spike, sit down. You and I are going to have a conversation about stuff that never happened…" she said. The ghost remained standing as she sat down and leaned back against a box.
"What are you talking about? What about the Watcher? Shouldn't he be in on this too?" he asked. Cordelia shook her head.
"We can't tell Wesley… we can't tell anyone. After I'm done telling you, I need to see someone…" she said. Spike was quiet for a moment.
"Angel?" he asked. Cordelia's brown eyes looked up at him, and he could see that she was struggling.
"Yes…" she said finally. Their eyes held for a few moments more before he sat down next to her.
"Start talking…" he said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
**More review thank yous & comments (these are gettin' long, ain't they?):
Blaire … Holy wow with the absolutely wonderful long constructive review! Thank you! I'm sorry that I've confused you with a few things. With the Lindsey issue, he kind of left with a 'hanging in the balance' attitude. I certainly didn't know where he stood with everyone. The way everyone greeted him was a 'holding of the breath' moment to see what was going to happen (plus, he never really was in it bad with Lorne). He came back to see Angel. They've worked together before… I can see them doing it again. And who says they're going to be friends through it? As for Lindsey being good? Are you sure there aren't ulterior motives? Not saying that's the way it is, but it's a thought, right? And yes, Cordy chose to be human. I'll explain why later, just be patient… :P I'm anxious to write the reasons, but it's not the right time, yet. The what's-gonna-happen moment with Wesley was Cordy, but Lindsey's arrival covered everyone else finding out about it. It was why Wes was uncomfortable when he met up with them. And Spike not knowing… well, I fixed that question for you, didn't I? I had that part written before your review, so I was getting there. There are methods to my insanity. :) Lorne… ah… I love Lorne. He is the refreshing bit to keep viewers from sinking into depression every time they watch with all the drama and crap… And don't worry, I totally got the Cordycrumb connection… and I agree 100%. And thank you… I love the Cordy/Wes scene too. I've always like the two of them. Wes was there through most of the crap that she and Angel had been through. He helped pick up the pieces when Doyle died, so I can see him help picking up the pieces here as well. Only in a more mature & consciously helpful way since he's grown into himself more. Anyways, I've rambled on and on… I'm going to cut off now. More thank yous to write. So, again, THANK YOU for your wonderful review. You have no idea what it means to a writer (or myself specifically) to see someone take such an interest and really express what they're thinking! So, let me know how you liked this part!! :)
Giggleboxsam … I want to thank you for the wonderful "constructive" criticism… as much as everyone says they love it, I know I can't please everyone. And for awhile there, I was trying to. Now that I've got the story going, I'm going to stick with it as is. I'm not completely pleased with it as it is, either, but I'm hoping to get it turned around and going the way I want it to. Expect some twists from the way everyone seems to be expecting it to go. As for Spike with the visions? Well, I'm sorry you don't like it, but it was a story starter. Whether or not he keeps them remains to be seen. And the memories? Trust me, I'm planning a twist with that, don't worry. So come on back and keep letting me know if it's up to par… Thanks again!
Genevieve … Hello again! I'm glad she's back too! As for her being punished… I have a little behind the scenes plot working. It'll all be revealed at some time in the future, don't worry. As for Conner – I'm still deciding what, exactly, I want to do with him. And Angel & Cordy? My fingers are itching to write the reunion. I have to work my way towards it. It'll come when it's ready to. And Cordy going to Wes, not Angel? Again, it will be revealed. Just not yet. Don't worry, though… I love rambling reviews!!
The 2nd Evil … Why thank you! I can't wait for more either! :) The vision is to serve a higher purpose… Bring Conner back? Maybe. To the group? We'll see… And may I ask, was that a hint on how to spell Conner? I spell it with an "e" because I have a good friend that spells it that way. It's habit… so everyone will have to grin and forbear…:)
Just Another Angel … I'm really glad you are enjoying this! And only after 2 chapters! I hope I don't disappoint… And please! Sleep! I don't want to interfere with bosses or the millions of things you need to do. It'll be here when you get back (I promise)! And how can I keep you sane when I can barely do the same for myself? :P Okay – back to work for me before my boss gives me that "You're insane" look. Thanks again & let me know if you like the rest!!
