I feel I must interject here
You're getting carried away
Feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember
I've made charts and graphs
That should finally make it clear
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go
-"Nothing Better" by the Postal Service
There's nothing worse in life than that exact moment in time where you realize your situation is hopeless. And that point was exactly where I was, reaching for the closed door, begging silently for Auron to please, please please, not listen to me. But I knew what I had to do, as painful as it was. It would save us all, in the end.
And I also realize that my situation was starting to sound a lot like Yunie's, full of self sacrifice and saving the world. Honestly, I would almost rather have her situation than mine.
I have three doors, with three choices behind them. And all of the choices suck.
I could have laid on the ground and cried my eyes out, but I knew better. If I stayed any longer than a few minutes in that washroom, Yunie and the rest of them would come after me. So, I stood up, did my best at brushing off my ruined dress, and bravely stepped out into the hallway. I walked silently with my head held high over to the doorway of the Great Hall, took a deep breath, and walked in.
And stepped into the streets of the ancient city of Zanarkand.
How did I know that I stepped there, in that very place? Maybe it was the light in Tidus' eyes, the spark of recognition, the wonder in everyone elses. Zanarkand was the city of machina, technology that the Al Bhed only dream of, built of sweat, metal, love, and blood, destroyed by Sin a thousand years ago.
I reached out to touch a wall, but my hand passed through it. "A hologram..." I murmured.
The Maester heard my voice from behind the group, and turned to face me. "Very good, Rikku. This is a hologram, of the ancient city of the North."
"It's Zanarkand!" Tidus said excitedly. Honestly, I would be excited if I were him too. He was seeing his very own version of Home, somewhere he could never return. I will never understand how Tidus reached this point in time, but at the moment, I had absolutly every bit of faith that he really WAS from a thousand years past, like he said when we first met.
"Yes, it is. And this was the place where she lived..." Seymour added, smiling slyly.
A grunt from Auron shocked me out of my wonder, and I glanced over at him. He didn't turn, wouldn't even look in my direction. It made me want to bawl all over again, but I had to be strong. As long as I was strong, he would be safe. I wasn't going to sacrifice him for my happiness.
"Who?" everyone asked.
"Yunalesca. You're named for her, Yuna."
Yunie stood up a little higher and glared at him. "My father named me."
"And you were named for the greatest summoner of all time. He must have known that you would follow in her glorious footsteps."
Now Auron was glaring. Death glare, really, and if it could, it would have been burning a hole in the side of Seymour's skull. Being that I crunched any hope of us ever having a future a few minutes ago because of Seymour, I hoped it was because of that. But, I had an odd feeling that it wasn't because of me at all, it was because of something else... Something that Seymour was talking about.
The Maester was blah-blahing about "the greatest love of all time", or something along those lines, as the holograms of Yunalesca and her guardian crossed the room in front of us to hug. The picture of them made me want to run out of the room screaming all the way back Home, where the sand could sop up my tears and I could finally forget about everything, but that was never going to happen. Then, Seymour whispered something in Yunie's ear.
She gasped out loud, and stared at him like he was insane. Then, she ran back over to the table to get a glass of water, and gulped the whole thing at once. The rest of us looked at her in shock.
"What happened?" Lulu asked curiously.
"He... He asked me to marry him!" Yuna hissed out, being painfully obvious in her discomfort.
I slapped my hand to my forehead, turning away from the rest of the group. "Great..." I mumbled. "Now we have to see him again."
Seymour smiled sinisterly at me from his standing point in the room, and Auron looked between us both and stomped forward, anger clearly written all over his face. "You know what Yuna must do?" he growled.
"Of course. This would be a marriage for the Spira, to distract the people from Sin's devistation, not a marriage of love."
"Then what's the point, ya?" Wakka mumbled.
"The people of Spira are not meant to be played with," Auron said, practically breathing fire. "Marriage is not a game!"
"Wait!" Yuna held up her hands between Seymour and Auron, who were both inching closer to each other, ready to fight at a moments notice. "I need time, Seymour. I shall go speak to my parents in the Farplane, and then come back to give you my answer."
"Very well. I expect your answer promptly, Lady Yuna," he stated simply as he bowed. The rest of the group started to make their way out of the room, but then he said, "Why are you here still?"
I turned suddenly, trying to figure out who he was looking at. Then, I realized Auron and Seymour were staring each other down, both ready to pounce at a moments notice. "I don't understand what you mean, Maester."
"Nice try, Sir Auron. Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane."
I started running towards them before I even knew where my feet were carrying me. When I finally stopped, I found myself standing just behind Auron, watching his face contort with a fury so great I was afraid to even be near him. But, then I remembered... Auron would never hurt me. I was safe to do what I needed to do.
"That's enough," I whispered, moving myself in between the two men, arms spread backward in front of Auron, protecting him with my small frame. "You have what you need, Seymour. Stop trying to torment others with your lies."
"I would never lie about something like this, princess. Ask the Legendary Guardian himself."
I didn't even look at Auron, but I moved closer to Seymour, talking low enough that only he could hear me. "Stop. We're coming back, and you will get your answer, so don't bring him into this! This is between me and you, not him."
He nodded slightly, and I turned away from him, motioning the rest of them to come with me. We were held up for a minute, because Tidus just had to run and smell Auron. Why? He wanted to know what the Farplane smelled like. Luckily, Auron smacked him out of the way and we kept walking.
We walked in silence through the streets of the city, immune to the sights and smells of it all. Finally, we reached the small path upwards, towards the gates of the Farplane. There were quite a few steps, and I plopped my dirty self right down on one of them.
Tidus made his way over to me, looking nervous. "What... is this? You see dead people?"
I forced out a laugh. "Not quite. You just see a hologram of them, but some people find comfort in it. You could see if your dad is in there, Tidus."
"Hopefully he is," Tidus replied bitterly. He started up the stairs, but noticed that I wasn't moving. "Wait, aren't you going?"
I sighed, looking over my shoulder at him, my hands playing with each other on my lap. "Those are just memories, Tidus. And memories are nice, but that's all they are. I would rather keep my memories inside my head."
He nodded, looking a bit confused, and then continued up the stairs with the rest of the group. Or, at least, I thought it was the rest of the group until a few minutes later, I looked up at the gates of the Farplane again, and saw Auron sitting on a step a few rows up, staring at me.
I turned away, feeling tears fill my eyes, and I shook my head quickly. "Why didn't you go with them?" I asked quietly.
"I don't belong there, Rikku. And if you had any sense at all, you would know why," he glared.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped, standing up and stomping my way towards him. "You have no reason to act like this towards me, Auron. None. So, get a grip." Okay, maybe he did have a reason to get mad at me. But he didn't know my reasons either! If he did, he would be singing a completely different tune right now.
"No reason?" he growled back, standing up to his full height, making me feel afraid for a moment. Maybe I pushed him too far this time... "You're unbelievable! Princess or not, you had no right to do what you did to me."
Blushing, I felt my head drop in shame. He was right, and I knew it. I felt myself grow weak, and I almost told him exactly what was going on, but then I remembered the situation. If I cared for Auron, he would be destroyed, and I wasn't ever going to let that happen. "You don't understand the situation, Sir Auron. I did what I had to do, given the circumstances."
"You're just going to let Seymour scare you into this, aren't you? You're not going to fight for what you want?"
"You don't know what I want, Auron."
He took my chin in his hand, lifting so I would look into his face. "You wanted the man who smelled like it, Rikku. You wanted to spin circles and bake cookies and be with him."
"How did you..." I whispered. He shook his head, and I could feel tears fill my eyes as I looked in his face, and they started to fall down my cheeks. He brushed them away, and kept talking, breaking what little of what was left of my heart with every word he said.
"And here I am. I am that man, and you're walking away. I'm not sure why, it could be because I am the man and you were expecting someone else, someone better than me. Is that why?"
"N... No... No..." I started to sob. He was all I wanted, and he was making it so hard for me to leave. I knew I had to walk away, I knew I had the facts behind me, but he kept holding onto me, and I couldn't break that touch for anything. One last indulgence, one last touch, and then I would go.
"In that case, I have no idea why you're doing this to us. But I know you're scared of something, because that's the only reason why you would run like this. And if you're running away from us, then you are definately the coward that you said you are."
I shook my head frantically, feeling the tears fall faster. "No... No, I'm not... No..."
"And I'm disappointed in you."
At this point, I was hysterical. I looked at his face, and I was gulping and choking on his last words, trying to find something in me to protest it. Instead, I did the one thing that I shouldn't have.
I reached for him. "Auron, please..."
And he stepped back, away from me. "No, Rikku."
I stopped, my head outstretched, face frozen in agony, just praying that he wouldn't deny me this one last indulgence, the last thing I needed before I became strong again.
But, he just shook his head at me. "Go."
One last look in my eyes told me what I needed to know. I spun away, pulled up my skirt, and flew down the stairs. I needed to run as fast and as far away as I could go, so that maybe, one day, I could erase the disappointment, sadness, and betrayal in his eyes.
AN: I found a good spot in this story, where I finally know where I want to go before I get there. Expect alot more fights, heartbreak, and all of that jazz in this story, because with these two, they can't easily let go.
Did I mention I don't own FFX yet? lol, I don't think so. So I'm saying it once and never saying it again.
Thank you reviewers, yet again, for your wonderful response on the last chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one just as much.
