This space between us
Where wingless dreams fall earless
Will you not bear we witness?
With your back to me now
It seems so unnerving
Still somehow deserving
That she could hold my heart so tightly
And still not see me here
-"Sleep To Dream Her" by Dave Matthews Band
I stood silently at the gates to the Thunder Plains, wishing that I could just go home.
"Rikku, why did you leave?" Yuna ran up to me, calling, her voice clashing with the loud crashes of thunder. I winced at each crash, gazing up at the sky from under the small roof I was sitting under.
"Seymour went to Macalania Temple," I said simply, "And I was waiting for you to finish up in the Farplane."
"In that case, it's time to go," I heard Auron's voice come from behind me. He stepped ahead of me, not even giving me a glance, staring up at the sky. I could feel my eyes start to dig holes into the back of his head, and before he turned, I looked away.
"Everyone ready?" Lulu asked calmly.
I looked up at the sky again, and felt my heart clench. It was no secret that thunder and lightning was my worst fear in the world, and I didn't know if I could really take the whole "Let's hop about and get electrocuted" thing that happens in the Thunder Plains. And lets face it, as much as I hated Guadosalam, it was ten billion times better than going on this little death adventure.
"Uh..." I said, glancing back behind me, "Guys? I think I left something behind in Guadosalam."
Auron looked back, indifference covering his face. "Nice knowing you."
I sucked in my breath quickly, stopping the tears that sprung up to my face. I stared him down for a moment, but his face remained expressionless. Finally, I gave in. "Fine, fine! I'll go."
We made our way slowly, going from tower to tower, and I became more jumpy by the minute. Tidus, of course, was living up the excitement of near death by standing out in the open, then jumping when the lightning struck his spot. Yeah, the kid was stupid, definately, but there wasn't much the rest of us could do to stop him.
And every single time we reached a new tower, I would cling to it, willing someone, anyone, to save me. "Come on, Rikku," Lulu pried me away from the tower and nudged me out in the open. I froze in my spot, freaking out, and couldn't move. Suddenly, lightning lit up the entire sky again, and I dropped to my knees in the middle of the muddy ground, covering my head with my hands.
Tidus was only a few feet away, so I did the only thing that I could think of under the circumstances. I scurried across the ground over to him, and clung to his leg. "Uh, Rikku?"
I started nervously laughing, and I'm sure it creeped everyone out. "Heh...heh... heh heh heh..."
"Rikku, you're scaring me, what's wrong?" he asked, attempting to pull me up from his leg, but I was NOT budging.
I lifted up my head and opened up my eyes to speak when another flash lit up the sky, and a loud boom rattled my ears. "EEEEEEK!!!" I screamed, covering my ears and hunching into a little ball. Rain pelted my back, but I wasn't exactly concerned about the water situation, considering I was afraid for my life.
"Rikku, we're almost done, I swear. Just over this hill..." Yuna started.
"And across a hundred billion kazillion more miles of death land! I can't do this anymore! Please, please, can we just stop for a minute?" I glanced up quickly and spotted an inn just on the top of the hill. "THERE! Can we please go there? Only for a little while, until the storm stops a bit."
"The storm will never stop." My hair prickled on my neck when Auron spoke in that tone of voice, the tone that clearly said he wasn't going to take any more crap from me, but I needed this! I really did! And I needed him to help me. I looked over at him and pleadingly fluttered my eyelashes, ignoring the fact that I wasn't supposed to be paying any attention to him at the moment. "No Rikku, we're not stopping," he added.
"Please?" I said, raising to my feet as they all started walking away. "Come on, please?" Tidus started to stall a bit, but Auron grabbed his sleeve and kept pulling him along. "I'm no use when I'm scared! Come on, someone, anyone? You would do this to me? Your moms would be ashamed of you! Please please please! EEEEEEEK!!!" I screamed again as I hit the ground, directly in the biggest sopping wet mud puddle that I could find.
Auron turned a bit and looked at me, cowering on the ground. I knew I looked pathetic, but sometimes a girl has gotta do what a girl has gotta do, and in order for a break I definatly had to be at my lowest. "Fine. She's worse than the storm."
The rest of the group giggled a bit, but I stared him down, feeling my anger rise up a bit. Everyone started filing into the inn, and when I started to go in there, I felt a hand pulling me back. I turned, sighing, "Auron, what?"
"What was that all about?" he said angerly. "If you don't want me, fine, but don't use yourself against me. It's disrespectful and I refuse to let this go any further."
"You don't understand! When I was little, my brother and I..."
"I understand perfectly," he cut me off. "You don't want to have anything to do with me until you need me to save you from something, or you need me to do something for you. Well, that's it, I'm done. This is your last favor, princess, so use it wisely."
Feeling myself burst inside, I started to blow up at him, "I don't need your favors, Auron! I need..."
"What? What is it that you need, princess? Someone to bake you cookies? Someone to save you from the big, bad lightning? Oh please, dear princess, tell me. Your wish is my comand," he said dryly, mocking me with the tone in his voice and the look in his eye.
My heart was in a tangle of knots in my chest. Of course, he didn't get it, I didn't exactly give him a chance to, but that didn't mean that he had to mock me about it. The lightning crashed and the thunder boomed behind my head, but I barely paid any attention to it. "You... You don't understand, Auron. So don't even try," I said slowly, attempting to calm myself down. But tears filled my eyes anyway, and I gulped quickly, scared for my life and still willing to stand out here and argue my point with him.
"You're right, Rikku, I don't understand. But honestly, at this point, I doubt it would even be worth my time to try," he said turning away, but I reached out and grabbed his sleeve, not able to hold myself back.
"You don't get me at all, do you?" I screamed, clutching my hands to my chest. "You claim all of these wonderful things, Auron, about protection and love and wonder, but where are you when I need you? Where were you when I needed you? When I needed protection? You were no where to be found, so don't even start your shit with me. I had to sit there and take everything that was being thrown at me, and you know what? I would do it all over again, because I had to. It's my job, Auron, and you don't seem to understand that. I have a job to protect my family and to protect my friends, and I'm sorry that I can't be perfect, and I'm sorry that you can't seem to understand me and take me as I am, but it's just something that I..."
"Wait."
I stopped, sopping wet from the storm, and waited. I held my hands in place, trying to hold myself in, and I instantly started to regret every word that I said. I wasn't very good at the whole "covering up my emotions" thing, and if was really as smart as I claim to be most days, I should have never even went near him again. "What?" I whispered.
His eye seemed to bore a hole in my brain, but I held his gaze. My hair was loose, dripping down my face, my clothes clung to me everywhere, and my shoes were filled up with mud, but I still stood still and held his gaze. He opened up his mouth to say a word, but just as he did, the door cracked open.
"Rikku, are you coming? You're going to get electrocuted out there!" Lulu exclaimed.
I looked back at him and shrugged my shoulders, then filed past him into the inn.
