AN: Okay, now is probably the time for me to explain how I write this story. I read the chapter previous to each chapter I'm writing at the time, and then go from there. Honestly, I have no idea where my story is going from one day to the next, and that keeps up all of the fun. But of course, that also equals problems, like me having to rewrite the second half of this chapter due to me putting everything that happened in Chapter 12 in this one, because I simply didn't remember what I did. Whoopsy. Stupid me. But hopefully you'll like this version better!
And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,
Tell me would you still follow me
And if I made you mad today,
Tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please
Or would you say that you don't care
And leave me standing here
Like the fool who is drowning in
Despair and screamin
"So I Need You" by 3 Doors Down
The room was still dark when I woke up that morning.
Or, I guess it was morning. Most people can't figure out the time in the Thunder Plains, and I can see why, considering you can't see the light at ALL. Honestly though, I've never been even remotely concerned about what time it is, no matter where I happen to be at the time. I've just felt like, since I spend my time doing nothing but playing with machina anyway, what's the point? I start wrenching when I wake up and I stop when I feel sleepy.
Well, at least, that's what I used to do, before I started following Yunie on this stupid pilgrimage.
I turned onto my side, then stopped. Where... Where was the table leg that I fell asleep against? I felt a soft blanket curled up around my feet, and there was a certain strange looking arm nestled around me. Oh... my... GOODNESS.
"Good morning" I heard him say gruffly. "How did you sleep, princess"
"Please let me dreaming..." I mumbled as I shifted back onto my other side, now staring directly into the face of Sir Auron the Almighty himself. "And I am so not dreaming... Auron, why am I here"
His face lost the pleasant morning look that so few people happen to have this early, me included. "What do you mean, why are you here? You fell asleep last night under the table, I walked you to your room, and you asked me to stay."
My mouth dropped open, and my mind started spinning so fast I could hardly keep up. I jumped out of the covers, silently thanking everyone from my Pops to Sin itself that I was still dressed, and stood on top of the bed, staring down at him. "I asked you to stay? And you listened? Whatever happened to"Rikku, don't take advantage of me" and everything else you decided to scream at me yesterday"
"Lower your voice" he growled, sitting up. Luckily, he was also still clothed, in those curious black pajamas that I noticed earlier in the trip. I forced myself to stop staring at his chest, and directed my gaze to another problem area, which happened to be his face. His eye was dark and bottomless, and I could see the anger starting to form behind it.
"I can't lower my voice, Auron! Don't you understand? I thought you understood that we cannot be together. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about this, okay? WE, as in you and me, CANNOT BE!"
"Stop" he said dangerously, rising to his feet. "You were just fine with being with me last night, when you were scared of the storm, but now, the morning after, you can't even look at me without throwing me away? What is WRONG with you"
"Okay, first of all, Auron, there is nothing wrong with me, especially considering that I am in... Well, I'm in way to deep for myself at this point." We both paused for a minute, breathing hard and staring eye to eye, me standing on top of the bed and him standing on the floor. "But that fact doesn't change anything, at all! I still have to..." I stopped myself before I blurted out my secret.
Finally, he burst out laughing. Not that it was a fun-loving, let's be jolly and dance kind of laughter, mind you. This laughter was full of sarcasm and pain. "You are something else, Rikku. You're manipulative and ridiculous, and I refuse to be a pawn in your game. The second I step out of this room, we are done. It's time you learned the consequences of your actions." He turned away and started towards the door.
"But..." I felt the word catch in my throat.
"Goodbye, Rikku..." he said with his hand on the door.
"Wait" I screamed, jumping off of the bed. But instead of landing gracefully on my feet, like I intended, I instead landed on my knees, sliding to a halt directly in front of him. "You can't go, Auron, please don't go. You don't have any idea what I'm going through right now"
He sighed with exasperation and looked down at me. "You're going through the same exact thing that all silly teenagers seem to go through. A period of thinking that everyone cares about your little melodramatic situations. Tidus went through the same exact thing."
"You... are... so... freaking... AGGRIVATING" I screamed. "How dare you say that? How dare you even think that" I stood up in a flurry of whipping hair and tangled up pajama fabric, and nearly fell down all over again. Putting my hands on my hips, I straightened to my full height, but it didn't even compare to Mr. Wonderful's tallness. "I thought we already went over this. What part of WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER don't you understand"
"And what part of YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS don't you understand" Auron exploded right back, his eye showing every bit of fury within him.
Holy crap. I finally hit the last nerve. We both stared at each other, breathing hard, neither moving for a few moments. Finally, I spoke, my temper coming back up again. "What... the hell... is that supposed to mean" I whispered angerly.
"Seymore told you he was going to make you a slave, Rikku. His slave. And I honestly don't think you really understand what he meant by that" his voice taking on the same exact hushed quality that mine had, only he seemed defeated in a way. Touching the tip of his katana to the ground, he lowered himself to the floor, sitting up against the cracked wall.
I lowered to my knees in front of him, staring directly into his face. "Of course I understand" I sighed.
"Then why didn't you just tell him you wouldn't and be done? It would have made this much easier for you."
"Because he probably would have killed me right then" I sighed. "I didn't really have much of a choice, at the time, you know. Time seemed like a good thing to ask for. Can you blame me"
"Yuna is under the impression that his marriage proposal is real" he added, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, that" I laughed slightly. "He's just searching for a reason to make sure I HAD to go to Macalania temple. As if I could have run away..."
"The thought of you giving up your people or your summoner is simply ridiculous. How could he possibly think that it was going to happen" he asked seriously, forehead wrinkled slightly with a bit of confusion.
"The thought of me being a slave is simply ridiculous too, but it sure didn't stop him from demanding it."
"And it won't stop you from doing it either" he said simply, the lines in his face becoming more drawn as the minutes passed. I looked at him in shock, and he shook his head slightly, stopping me from speaking. "No, don't bother, Rikku, I already knew. But I just have to know one thing... How are you going to be able to walk into Macalania with your head held high, knowing what you're about to sign up for"
"The alternative is impossible."
"No..." he whispered. "Death is preferable to torture, little Rikku, in some very rare instances, and this is one of them."
I stared him down for a moment, silently deciding how much was necessary to tell him without giving the entire thing away. "That may be, but is torture of another person preferable to my own"
He closed his eye, leaned his head against the wall, and took a deep breath. "It depends on whether or not they're more prepared to take it than you, princess." He reached for me, and I took his hand in mine, tracing small patterns along the top of his hand with my fingertips.
"They could take it, but I refuse to let them" I whispered harshly. "Absolutely refuse."
We stared at each other for a few more minutes, our hands connecting us together, but nothing else touching. Time stood still, and for once, the weather outside the window of our room was tame enough for me not to panic. Our eyes continued to search for something deep inside ourselves, and after what seemed like hours, he finally spoke again.
"Why won't you tell me who you're protecting? I could help you... help them... Protect someone... You don't have to take on this burden alone, princess." His eye were hopeful as he gazed at my face, and it broke my heart to witness.
That was my exit cue, I knew, and I picked myself up, brushing off my knees. "I wish I could..." I sighed. "But, it's simply impossible. This is something that I have to do alone."
I turned to the door, my hand resting gently against the bronze doorknob, waiting for any response from him. Somehow though, I knew there wouldn't be one. Finally after pausing for a few moments, I twisted the metal beneath my fingers and slid out of the room into the hallway. I tiptoed down the hallway past the rest of the rooms that we rented for the night, and made my way to the washroom. And finally, once I stepped in, turned around, and locked the door behind me, I did the one thing that I needed to do more than ever.
I slid onto the floor, curled into a little ball, and started to cry.
