There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
-"Only Hope" by Mandy Moore
We were back at camp before either of us spoke again, the silence being far too comfortable for words to intrude. It was odd for me to be quietly happy, but I was too busy contemplating our situation to really be paying attention to much else.
I wasn't allowed to sacrifce myself for him, but I couldn't come up with anything better. How could I save Auron and Yunie all at once, without anyone getting hurt? Simple, I get rid of me! But, unfortunatly, I promised him that I wouldn't, and I never go back on my promises. Never, ever, ever go back on promises.
"Sir Auron take watch?" I heard, more than saw, Kimahri move from the tree he had been sitting at during dinner and slowly walk towards the smoldering fire in the middle of our camp, then past it to the tents on the other side. He hesitated slightly, waiting for Auron's reply.
"Hm," Auron grunted, and nodded. "Good night, Kimahri."
"Good night, Sir Auron and Rikku."
"Sweet dreams, Kimahri," I said quietly, and Kimarhi, getting the replies he needed, climbed under the folds of fabric into the cloth tent. A few second of shifting things around, and then all was silent in the camp.
Quiet and calm, silent and peaceful. I sighed slightly, and made my way slowly over to the tree where Kimahri kept careful watch during the hours we were gone.
Auron's hand clasped my shoulder, stopping me and whipping me out of my thoughts. His eye shined slightly in the dark as he spoke, "You should go to bed too, Rikku."
"Are you crazy?" I whispered forcefully. "We don't have much time to figure things out..."
"And we have tomorrow," he interrupted. "You need your rest."
I turned my body towards him, and gazed up at his face. The collar was lowered, his neck was held stiffly, and I could tell he was trying to be stern... But his eyes gave him away. For someone who was usually so stoic, he was as soft as a marshmellow when it came to me, and the thought of that made my insides jump with giddiness.
I clasped his hands, and held them against my collarbone, trying to keep him with me in some way, I guess. "Just a few minutes."
"No."
"Please?"
"No." His eyes were softening, and I knew I was winning.
"Auron, please? I just want to be with you, just for a few minutes."
And that, my friends, was the winning slam. His usually stern face melted for a quick minute, he smiled slightly, and my stomach twisted into knots. Then, like it never happened, his face snapped right back into the cold mask he usually wore.
He sighed audibly, turning away. "Fine."
I settled down next to the tree, sitting with my back against it, watching out past the fire. Mr. Wonderful, being the pouty person who didn't win that he was, refused to sit and stood, with his back against the tree trunk, staring off into the opposite direction. He pouted for a few minutes in silence, and I silently giggled, watching him.
Honestly, I couldn't help myself.
"You can sit down, you know," I whispered up at him.
He grunted, but didn't say anything else in response. Well, wasn't that just a roadblock.
"Come on, Auron, I know it's not comfortable up there," I said, patting the ground on the side of me. "Come sit by me, please?"
"You should be in bed, Rikku. Staying up with me will only make you irritable in the morning."
"Well, well, aren't you Mr. Grumpypants," I mumbled, turning away from him. "Fine then, if you don't want to sit by me, you don't have to. But I'm not tired and I'm not going to bed."
He didn't say a word, and chose to stare off into the distance, pretending not to hear a word I said. But I knew better than that, and I knew he was listening to me just as much as he was listening to the sounds of the forest. The fact that he was ignoring me was hurting my feelings a bit though...
"You're making me feel bad..." I whispered. "This is one of the few quiet chances we can spend together. How many more nights like this will we have?"
The sound of his body slipping to the ground reached my ears, and I smiled slightly, turning towards him. "Thank you," I murmured.
He grunted and nodded, and I grinned, knowing his ways. Sliding to the side, I dropped my head down on his leg and gazed out into the forest. He tensed up slightly when we came into contact, but then relaxed again, breathing out in a woosh of air. Reaching up, I grabbed his fingers and slid his hand around my waist, then played with his fingers a bit. His other hand reached up past my shoulders to pat my head, and comb my hair out of my eyes.
We sat like this for a few minutes, in peace and complete silence. It was so silent, in fact, that I could feel my eyes drooping faster than a granade explodes, and with every movement of his fingers in my hair, my mind got more and more tired.
"You're making me sleepy..." I mumbled into the air, clutching his fingers into my chest. "... and I don't want to go to sleep."
He chuckled softly and continued moving his hand across my neck, and then my back. "You're being stubborn, princess." We were quiet for a few more minutes, then he spoke again, surprising me out of my daze. "Since you won't sleep, what will you do instead?" he asked.
"Uh..." I rolled over onto my back, and looked up at his face. He was watching out in the distance, but I knew that he was listening. "I want to sing, actually. But I don't know what I should sing about." He grunted in response, and I smiled slightly. "I can feel a song inside me to sing, I just can't make the words come out. Has that ever happened to you?"
"I don't make a habit of singing, Rikku."
"Hmm..." I mumbled, rolling back away from him again. "Maybe if you did, you would be a bit more chipper."
He laughed out loud at that comment, and I blushed, because I didn't exactly want him to hear that. Serves me right for opening my big, fat mouth. "Think I need to be more chipper?"
"Not chipper, really," I said, trying to backtrack. "But sometimes you seem like you're a cord that's pulled too tight, and maybe if you sung sometimes you would loosen up a bit." And there I was, digging a hole that I couldn't get out of. "Er, I mean... You don't need to loosen up either, Auron. It's just..." I paused slightly, and he was silent. I could sense he was tensing up again, and I knew I had to do something to make him settle back down without him being mad at me.
So, I blurted out exactly what I was feeling.
"You know what, Auron?" I said, sitting up, and turning to face him. "You don't need to do anything. You're perfect exactly how you are, and that's why I love you."
His hands froze midmovement, and his gaze searched my face. "If I were perfect, I would be able to... Hm. I'm not perfect, Rikku. Not in the slightest bit."
I put my hands on his rough cheeks, forcing him to keep looking in my eyes. "Do I have to tell you all of the reasons why I think you're perfect?"
He smiled slightly, "I'm am curious, but you don't have to tell me."
"Fine. You're quiet, yes, but when you speak the world stops to listen. You're serious most of the time, but when you're prodded enough, you can be silly, just like me. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you're the cause for this song in my soul. You're respectful and protective, and I always feel safe when I'm around you, even when you're furious at me..."
He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. I could see everything he was feeling in his eye, and that was enough.
"Not to mention, you're gorgeous," I grinned. "It's not important, but it's definately a plus."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise at my last words, but I didn't back down. "Liar," he whispered.
"I am not," I said, my eyes piercing his. "Do you really think I would say something that I didn't mean?"
He attempted to turn his head away from me, but I stopped him, and his gaze met mine once more. "No," he grunted.
"Then, why did you say that?"
He hesitated slightly, and my heart stopped. I knew exactly what he was thinking about, and I knew that his confidence about the situation would depend on the motions that I made. So, I did what was needed, what he would do for me, in the same situation...
Moving my hands from his cheeks, I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaned forward, and touched my lips to the scar covering his eye. It was a small kiss, barely even comparable to any of the other kisses we have shared, but in another way, in the mental, confidence, big-time-love kind of way, it was so much bigger.
Pulling away, I gazed into his dark eye for a moment, and then I spoke the first thing that came to my mind, the only thing that stayed there during my actions. "You are gorgeous, perfect in every way, and your scars make no difference." I smiled, and his eye glossed over slightly with emotion that he couldn't keep inside.
"But," I whispered, "if you need me to, I will kiss every one of your scars and make them all better. Understand?"
His eye never left mine as he nodded and tried to speak, his voice choked up a bit, "Y..Yes. I understand."
"Good."
We sat there, leaning on the tree, staring into each others eyes for what seemed like hours. But finally, my eyes started glazing over, and I knew sleep was soon. So with a smile, I laid my head back onto his leg, facing out into the forest, and closed my eyes. "Sing for me, please..." I whispered.
It was quiet for a few moments, but then in a low, quiet tone, his voice murmured a string of words about an old city, keeping promises, and a new journey. I knew that he wasn't exactly singing, but it was close enough for me, and the effort made me smile slightly in my half-awake state. His voice was lulling me under, and I could barely even keep up with the words he was saying, until finally I closed my eyes and sighed, waiting for my dreams to pull me inside.
Sleep was coming swiftly, but not fast enough for me to miss the small kiss on the top of my head.
"Sweet dreams, my princess," he whispered, and then I was gone.
AN: Fluffy. Very, very fluffy, I know, lol. But, within the next two chapters they'll PROBABLY be arriving at the temple, but I'm not making any promises. I 3 all of you, and THANK YOU for my 300+ reviews! I appreciate and read every single one of them!
