Posted: 1-15-04
Chapter 5
AN: I'm so proud of this fic (wipes tears away from eyes). Not only am I actually getting it written, but you're actually reviewing! I write too much. Really, I do. That's why I have horrid writer's block on my other three fics, and yet this one and my random one-shots get up so quickly. Whatever. I don't own Inuyasha. Have you ever wondered if people who worked for these shows (that know English in the case of this one) come online and read these? Wouldn't it be weird? Or even if they wrote them? What if the voice actors read them? Just wondering... Anyway, here's what I have to say about what you said!
AddictedtoInuyasha: Thanks so much! I hope it's still good, lol.
Candyland: Thank you, Candy-chan! I have more right here! And thanks for looking over the last chapter for me!
Tache: Really? ...I guess that's a good thing since this is angst! Unless by "sad" you meant "Someone told you that you could write!"...
BaByXbOoX143: I rarely update regularly, actually. This fic is a fluke, lol. And sometimes Author Alerts like to not work, but not being on it would make a difference! As for your comments, well, keep reading! (cue evil laughter)
The group had finally assumed their positions around the campfire once again. Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo had returned first, as for them it was only a routine demon slaying. When a very somber looking Sango and a much deeper in thought than usual Miroku came back with Kilala several minutes later, Kagome asked how it had gone, not seeming to notice the blood covered hand still clasped around his upper arm since she was busy making dinner.
Kagome's question was met with an uncomfortable silence. Miroku merely sat down, staring into the fire as though it held the very secret to defeating Naraku itself. Sango quietly grabbed her kimono and headed back into the forest where she could change away from prying eyes, not that she really had to worry about them at this point.
Kagome finally looked up and once asked, "What happened? You two are..." It was at this moment that she finally noticed the wound on the monk's arm. "Oh!" she exclaimed, running toward her backpack. "I didn't realize you were injured. Did one of the demons get you?"
"Good grief, Kagome, I could smell his blood before he even got here!" Inuyasha commented, looking at the unfinished meal with a scowl.
"Well, Inuyasha, I'm not half demon like you!" she retorted, pulling out her first aid kit. "Here we go!" She began making her way over to Miroku. "Now, how did you get injured, again?"
She was once again answered with silence. In fact, he didn't even seem to register the fact that she had spoken. Kagome stopped where she was and blinked in confusion. "What is with you two? We only want to know what happened with the demons."
"Just leave him alone," Inuyasha said, still looking at the food. "If he can be fine without listening to us, he can probably tend to his own stupid wound. Now, finish making supper! I'm starving!"
"Inuyasha!" she scolded, frowning at him. "That wound needs to be taken care of!"
"I'll do it," Sango said quietly, having finally returned from changing. She still looked very bothered and hadn't seemed to raise her head at all since they had gotten back.
"O-okay," Kagome said, handing her the box. "What's going on anyway?"
Sango merely turned away from her and made her way next to Miroku, who finally shifted his gaze to look at her. She quietly began pulling out bandages and other things to clean the cut with.
"Oh yeah!" Kagome said, leaning over the fire next to the kettle. "Did you run into Kohaku? I never could pinpoint his exact location..."
It was at this point that the eyes of Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo went to the pair, now both hanging their heads and not seeming to move at all, although something that sounded like a choked sob seemed to come from the direction of Sango.
"Did I... say something wrong?" she whispered.
"Yeah," Shippo added. "That's usually Inuyasha's job..."
"What did you just say, you little brat!" he exclaimed, picking him up by the back of his shirt.
"Inuyasha, be nice!" Kagome said, seeming to have forgotten the shadow that hung over the other half of their group and now focusing on the demon battle that would mostly likely end in an osuwari.
Sango finished cleaning the wound, paying as much attention to the others as Miroku had been. She took out the bandages and began wrapping it around the cut, stopping about halfway through to take a deep breath. "Is it too tight?" she asked softly as she came to the end.
"No, it's fine," he murmured in response.
She nodded her head a little in recognition and completed dressing the wound. She put away the items she had been using and turned to face the fire. Miroku heard her sniff a few times before a soft whisper of, "I'm sorry," came from her.
"She's really beating herself up over this, isn't she?" he thought, looking at the demon slayer and noticing a few tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why? Does she blame herself for me getting injured? I suppose so. After all, I'm fairly certain that Naraku wanted to see which of us she would choose. And if that's so, that means that Naraku knows more about our group and our relationships than we thought he did.
"Why couldn't she just let Kohaku kill me? I wouldn't have minded. I know that the one thing that she wants more than anything else in the world is to have her brother back. And the one thing I want is for her to be happy. I can't bear to see her cry. I've never been able to. On top of that, a smile from her is so rare. I think I've only seen her really smile once, and that was after I asked her..."
His eyes widened a little, although he still kept looking at her, the tears reflecting like crystals in the fire light. "Does she really think she'll be happier with me? Heh, either she trusts me more than I do, or something else was at work inside of her. I really don't understand it. She should have gone with the route she knew would bring her brother back to her. She should have done what she knew would make her happy. It's still possible for me to die from my curse, and then what would she do? I don't want her to be sad.
"Maybe that's why she let him go. Maybe she realized that she all ready lost him once, so the second time really won't be as bad as we all think. Maybe she really does think there's no hope. Or maybe, for some reason I'll never understand, she thinks that I'll make her happier. I really don't get it. Of course, I do know that without her, I wouldn't be happy either..."
Sango whimpered a little, the tears starting to flow a little more freely now. Miroku, not completely aware of his movements, leaned toward and reached his hand for her face. He stopped for a second to see what she was doing. However, Sango appeared too lost in her own thoughts to notice him. He finally continued moving and put his finger and thumb against her cheek.
Sango gasped a little, although her face was still directed at the flames. Miroku watched her for a second and finally slowly brought his hand up, wiping the tears off of that cheek. She turned her head with his fingers and brought her eyes to his. Her tears seemed to stop and she looked as though she was waiting for something.
Miroku kept his hand where it was, inches from her face. Finally, his look of concern turned into a soft smile. "Don't cry, Sango," he said quietly, pulling his arm back a little. "After all, I think there's still hope. I doubt Naraku would do anything to him, especially because I'm beginning to think that even he wants to keep the jewel from being completed until he thinks he absolutely has to. That's his game."
His hand appeared to have found its courage again and gently held her other cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned toward it a bit, sighing a little. "I told you before that we wouldn't let Kohaku die, and I still promise that." He continued to smile at her, and finally she opened her eyes, wearing the sad little smile that was generally the most one could get out of her.
"Thank you, Houshi-sama," she whispered, her eyes starting to fill with tears again.
"I don't deserve this," she thought, letting him keep his hand where it was, as it was an improvement on his usual antics. "I don't deserve any of this. I'm not a normal woman. I was raised learning how to kill demons. I really don't think I have any qualities that anyone would like. The men who say they do don't really know me. And yet, after everything's that happened, after all of the things I've done that hurt them, and especially after tonight...
"Oh, Kohaku... Why did any of this have to happen? Why! I... I just couldn't trust Naraku. Not again. Not after everything he's done. I'm so sorry. Please don't think that I don't care about you, Kohaku. Please. It isn't my fault. Everything was perfect until that one horrible moment. And now, it's all just so hard. Nothing's the way it should be. Nothing..."
Just then, she felt Miroku's hand begin to softly stroke her cheek. She tried to hold back a sob, although she knew that she shook a little. Tears started coming from her closed eye lids again. "No. This is the way it should be. As terrible as things were, if it wasn't for the worst moment in my life, I would never have met him, would I? I don't know if it would have been possible for me to be truly happy. No matter what, something was destined to be missing. And I really think that although I love my family with all of my heart and soul, it's better to have one person to spend a lifetime with, and even have a new family with. I don't know why I feel that way... I just... do."
Her body wouldn't let her contain it anymore. She finally dissolved into the tears she had been holding in ever since they began heading back to the camp site. Miroku watched in concern for a moment and finally drew her in toward him, gently wrapping his arms around her back while she sobbed into his shoulder.
"It... It's better this way... Kohaku, please forgive me..."
"OSUWARI!"
Inuyasha met a face full of dirt, the argument between the two of them finally over. Inuyasha grumbled a little and Kagome looked away from him with a huge scowl on her face. Miroku and Sango both looked over that them, although he did not release his embrace of her. They looked at each other for a moment and finally moved apart from each other, not wanting have to explain the night's events to a very angry Kagome.
"You've failed me, Kohaku," Naraku said to the boy kneeling in front of him. "Why didn't you kill him?"
"I'm sorry, lord," he replied, too afraid to look up lest Naraku discovered the real reason it couldn't be done. "It proved to be more of a challenge than I could handle."
"Really?" Naraku replied, a slight grin on his face. "You mean, you couldn't win in a one-on-one battle with the monk? How surprising. I didn't think you were injured."
"I wasn't," he answered, trying to choose his words wisely. "The battle was just too difficult. I couldn't do it."
"Well," Naraku said, seemingly satisfied with his answer, "you remember what I told you before, correct?"
"That you couldn't guarantee my safety," Kohaku repeated, a little too quickly for his own liking.
Naraku laughed a little. "Don't be absurd, boy. We'll just have to try again, now won't we?"
"R-really?" Kohaku answered, hoping that Naraku couldn't sense his fear.
"Yes," he replied. "Now get out of here before I change my mind."
Kohaku ran out of the room. He knew he shouldn't have, but his emotions were just overpowering him too much. "Naraku won't stop until he's dead," the boy thought as he ran. "What am I supposed to say to Ane-ue?"
"What a foolish boy," Naraku said to himself, his smile growing broader and more malicious. "Yes, one man will die in front of Sango soon, dear child. One of them certainly will..."
AN: Yay for more thinking and more fluffish stuff (is it me, or did I turn Miroku into a lovesick little puppy?)! Actually, I originally wasn't intending for it to be so fluffy at first, but as I kept writing it kept coming! Yes, another cliffie, but that one wasn't as bad... Okay, maybe it was. Maybe since I know how it's going to end, I didn't think it was as evil as the chapter 3 one. I did steal some upcoming material from one of my other fics (that I'm a little stuck on) for parts of this... Sort of. I must admit, I'm a little stuck on the next chapter or so, but I've got the ending all set up in my noodle, so I'll update as soon as possible, okay? Now, review! Or I won't update!
