Posted: 4-2-05
Chapter 8
AN: (sob) This is it! Chapter Last! I'd like to thank everyone for their support as I worked through this fic. Or, whatever you call leaving such nice reviews. I don't deserve it... Anyway, I don't own Inuyasha. Or the reviews I'm about to answer!
Yun Fei: Well, I wanted to steer away from the cliche, long, drawn-out death scene. I just like throwing surprises at you to keep you interested! And yeah, it was confusing. Hopefully this'll clear everything up. You were the first reviewer on this fic, weren't you:goes to look: You were! Hee hee, yay! (Yeah, don't mind me. I'm being overly weird)
Fantastical Queen Ebony Black: Yeah, you did guess it! You win! Hee hee, seriously, though, I'm glad you liked Naraku's lines. I wanted to make him as much of a jerk as possible.
bob: Yep. That's basically it. ...Wow. I need to work on a little thing called "plot development," huh?
medlii: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked everything, and that you're looking forward to the angst. Thanks again for all the support!
Manda: I like freaking people out! It's one of my fun author powers. Anyway, thanks!
Devilin: Thank you for the complements! And, well, the ending is as happy as I can possibly make it for the angst I want to put in, lol. But I'm a major happy ending fan, so I guess that's why.
Candyland: (watches you nervously) Uh... I don't know if I should give you more, lol. Hee hee, Spinel.
Iggy04: Heh, sorry! I didn't want a long cliche death scene, so I just killed him. And you're about to find out why Miroku didn't say anything. I'm glad that you like ths angst and stuff, though! Have I been spelling "lose" wrong (goes to look) ...Whoops! My mistake! Blah, I made a lot of grammatical errors! Note to self: proofread more carefully.
They had found an inn in the village that would allow them to stay for a few nights to recover. Kohaku was currently buried near the place where Naraku had stabbed him, although Sango had mentioned moving him to their village once they had the time.
Now, she sat in a corner of the room, her knees drawn up to her chest. She said nothing, although her sorrow was very evident. Kilala was curled up next to her, trying her best to be some source of comfort. Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo had just recently finished discussing their plans for the present, trying to give Sango enough time to recover but still wanting to get going after Naraku because of this recent strike against them. Miroku had merely shown them the inn after he had secured them a room and then vanished, greatly annoying Kagome.
Now that their mini-debate was over, Shippo had gone over to try and talk to Sango. Inuyasha was sitting by the door, apparently in thought, and Kagome stared at Kohaku's jewel shard, wondering to herself why Naraku hadn't taken it. She decided not to dwell on it too much; the workings of that monster's mind were a mystery to her.
"Y-you know," Shippo was saying, smiling desperately at Sango, who was staring at her hands, "everybody in my family is gone, too. So, um, I know how you feel!"
Needless to say, the kitsune's attempts weren't helping much.
Kagome watched for a moment as Sango seemed to have no response and sighed to herself, turning the shard around in her fingers. "What else can we do for her?" she thought, still looking at her friend. "She's been through so much all ready, and now we have to force her to get over another loss in a short period of time. And where is Miroku-sama? If anybody should be in here comforting her, it should be him! Doesn't he care? He couldn't have just been saying things to her without meaning them, could he? I was so sure that he loves her. Why isn't he here?"
"And then we could, um, make more and spread them around everywhere," Shippo was finishing, Sango still looking distant. Kilala nuzzled against her leg and mewed softly, also seeming to want her mistress' attention.
Kagome suddenly stood up with a determined look on her face. Everyone but the demon slayer looked at her strangely as she stormed out of the room. "I'm going to find him if it's the last thing I do!" she thought, immediately looking from side to side for any sign of the monk.
She began making her way around the building, trying to see if he wasn't maybe just out for a walk nearby. However, her quick scan of the area showed no signs of him. She sighed and started turning around, only to run headlong into another person.
Kagome rubbed her head. "Oh, I am so sorry!" she began, looking at the person she had bumped into and gasping.
Miroku looked back at her, slightly surprised and seeming as though this wasn't the place he wanted to be at this time.
Shippo had finally given up on comforting Sango. He had apparently realized that this wasn't something that a few happy stories were going to help her out of and decided that it would probably be best if he just kept his mouth shut for a while and let her think.
An awkward silence was now filling the room, everyone but Sango shifting around uncomfortably.
"Hey," Inuyasha suddenly said, catching the attention of even Sango. She merely looked back at him, the most response she had given anyone since Kohaku's burial.
"I know it's hard," he continued, looking straight at her, "and I know it'll take time to get over it, but the longer we wait, the longer it takes for us to kill the bastard that did all of this. Just do the best you can, okay?"
Sango nodded and returned her gaze to her hands.
"There you are!" she exclaimed, grabbing his arm and trying to drag him back toward the room. "Where have you been? Sango-chan needs you right now!"
"No, she doesn't," he interrupted, planting his feet firmly to the ground and keeping the priestess from dragging him any further.
"What are you talking about?" she replied, frowning at him. "Of course she does! Don't you care about her at all?"
"That's why I can't, Kagome-sama," he answered, turning around and starting to walk away from her.
"Wait a minute!" she cried, trying her best to follow and scold him at the same time. "What's why you can't? You mean you don't care? It's been a lie this whole time? Why did you ask her to live with you, then?"
"That isn't what I meant," he replied, the firmness in his tone causing her to back away a little. "Just... Just trust me on this one." He continued walking away.
Kagome stared at him in shock for a few seconds. "Well, I'm telling you to trust me!" she finally answered, still not moving. "I don't know what you're thinking right now, Miroku-sama, but Sango-chan's really hurting right now and the fact that you won't even show your face isn't helping!"
"And you think that my seeing her will help her any?" he replied.
"W-well," she stuttered, trying to figure out his point, "of course I do! I mean, you two are..."
Miroku suddenly went to the door of the nearest room, which was a large hall used for celebrations, and peered inside. It was completely empty, and he sighed with relief. He then grabbed the arm of a once again surprised Kagome and led her inside, leaving the sliding door open a crack.
"What are you doing?" she whispered, her frown returning.
Miroku stared at her coldly for a moment, seeming to wait for her expression to change. It finally did, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, putting his head down. "I can't face her," he finally said, his gaze fixed on the floor.
"Why can't you face her?" Kagome replied quickly, taking a step toward him. "Miroku-sama, I may not know what exactly is going on in both of your heads, but I'm fairly certain that..."
"I can't put her through it," he interrupted, turning his back to her.
"You can't put her through what?" she asked, obviously confused.
"It's my fault," he continued, seeming to ignore her. "This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me. Kohaku would still be alive if I hadn't..." His voice trailed off, tension growing in his weighed down form.
Kagome blinked a few times, but found that she had nothing to say in response to this. She took a tentative step forward, but the sudden straightening of his back warned her to go no further.
"Naraku wanted to hurt Sango by killing one of us," he finally began again, still not moving much. "It's because of me. I knew what was starting to happen between us. I knew that I couldn't let it happen because it would be too dangerous at this time. That's why I tried to stop it. Seeing her reaction just killed me, though. Something inside of me wouldn't allow me to just let things go like that and possibly never allow things to happen at all. I let my emotions get the best of me and Naraku found out about it. I should have never said anything to her. I shouldn't have promised her anything. Her brother's gone, and there was nothing I could do about it."
"Are you talking about that time when you..." Kagome said softly, slowly raising one of her hands.
"Yes and no!" he interrupted, a sudden despair in his voice. "I promised her that we wouldn't let him die! And he did! Not only was he targeted because of me, but I couldn't even keep him safe like I said I would. Do you think she could face me after I've done all of this to her?"
"Miroku-sama," she said, her voice still quiet, "you had no idea this would happen. I'm sure Sango-chan doesn't hold anything against you. There was no way you could have known."
"I promised her, Kagome!" he exclaimed, finally looking back at her. She gasped a little. He appeared to be extremely angry, although she was fairly certain that tears were in the corners of his eyes. "I promised her, and I failed!"
"This was more of Naraku's plan, wasn't it?" Kagome thought, still staring in shock at the monk. "He knew that whichever life he took, the other wouldn't be able to handle what that would do to Sango-chan. He knew that this would happen."
"Please don't be so hard on yourself," she said, trying to take another step toward him. "None of that is true."
"But it is!" he replied, the tears she had noticed seeming to grow bigger. "I got her hopes up and they were all smashed while I stood there doing nothing. I'm the reason she's hurting right now. That's why I can't see her. She has to hate me!"
Kagome opened her mouth to console him, but her eyes drifted toward the light coming in from the doorway. It was now opened wider than it had originally been with a shadow inside it.
"No, I don't," a voice said weakly, the figure taking a step into the room. Kagome blinked in surprise a few times before slowly backing away from them. Miroku looked at the speaker seeming both shocked and terrified before finally turning away again.
"I don't hate you, Houshi-sama," she continued, taking a few tiny steps toward him, her sad eyes revealing most of her feelings, although he couldn't see them. "I could never hate you. Even if I could, I wouldn't hold anything against you for this."
"But..." he began, his voice shaking. He stopped abruptly when he felt her hand softly touch his shoulder.
"Who's to say this wouldn't have happened anyway?" Sango said as though she hadn't been interrupted. "There are too many possibilities for us to know how anything would have been. We can't dwell on what ifs. This..." Her voice broke and she took a few seconds to regain her composure. "This is how it was supposed to be," she finished, her voice barely above a whisper now.
"I still feel responsible," he replied, his voice not much louder than hers. "He forced you to make that choice and it's because of me that Kohaku's gone."
"That would mean that you'd be the one we'd be grieving over," she answered, a strange calmness in her tone. "Houshi-sama, nothing could have made this any better. This is just how things were going to be. I have to tell myself that."
"Sango, I can't..."
"I don't hate you at all," she interrupted, her hand pressing a little harder on his shoulder. "Right now, I need you with me."
There was an uncomfortable stillness in the room, the only sound coming from the small breaths that each of them took. Suddenly, Miroku straightened up and turned to look Sango in the eye, taking her aback. "I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around her.
She didn't seem to respond to this, although fresh tears were now streaming down her cheeks. "You don't have to say that," she whispered, trying not to let her sobs out.
"I wasn't apologizing for myself," he answered, closing his eyes and staying as he was.
They stood like this for a long time, the only noise coming from quietly from Sango as she cried into his shoulder.
Kagome took a deep breath and slipped out of the room as quietly as she had been when she was watching. "They need some time to themselves," she thought, heading back toward Inuyasha and the others.
AN: It's over! Yep. That's the end. I don't know about you, but I think that could have been a lot better. Miroku really has more or less said in the manga that they wouldn't let Kohaku die, and that's when I had the vision of him totally falling apart if Kohaku actually does, so I just had to write it! Then I felt like sticking in one of my theories on what he was thinking in 132 (yes, I have several). This fic was made up of several of the little ideas running around in my head, though, like I said earlier, I think. Anyway, thank you very much for reading and hopefully I can get working on my older fics as well as some new ones once I get my life sorted out! Bye!
