The Unauthorized Story
Warning: I'm sorry to say that the fanfic you have opened on your computer is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.
In this short story alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, a plot to steal their fortune, bizarre happenings, and quarter pieces of grapefruit for breakfast.
It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from closing this fanfic at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.
CHAPTER
ONE
If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other fanfic. In this story, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.
Their misfortune began one day on Briny Beach when Mr. Poe informed them that there had been a terrible fire. There house had been burnt down, their parents killed, and they were know the Baudelaire orphans. Mr. Poe, being in charge of the Baudelaire finances took the children to live with their closest living relative, as was instructed in their parents Will.
And that was how the children met Count Olaf, after all he only lived a few miles away, therefore he must be the closest. But Count Olaf cared only about the Baudelaire fortune and would go to any lengths to get it. His treachery was discovered in the end but not before the deaths of the relatives that the children went to live with, having been removed from Count Olafs care, or his attempt to marry Violet to reach the fortune. Unfortunately Olaf escaped the grasp of the authorities and disappeared.
Now the Mr. Poe must once again find a home for the Baudelaire's with there next closest living
"Hey who are you?"
"What are you doing?"
sounds of a struggle
"No! I must tell their story! The Baudel mhhh hmmm hhhmmm."
Thump
Hello, I am Syron13 and I will be taking over this story. That's right me, the little old fanfic author. Sorry to say that Snicket is a little…tied up at the moment. Being a fanfic writer I feel that it is MY duty to tell you this story of misery and woe, for while Snicket is the utmost authority on the Baudelaire Orphans, he is not an authority on one Harry James Potter.
I will of course be referencing all of Mr. Snicket's information on the Baudelaires' as I
know he wants nothing but the utmost accuracy in this tale. Well then let's begin……………..
