Jessica nearly fell down her stairs when she left for school that morning only to find Bradin waiting for her.
"Hi," he said, standing up from the sidewalk.
"What the hell!" she gasped. She had made a special effort to get up twenty minutes earlier just so she could get to school earlier and avoid him. It was only 7:40! And from the looks of it, Bradin hadn't just gotten there. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Since 7," he shrugged.
"You got up at 6:30 just to corner me?" she gawked.
"…Uh, well, I couldn't really sleep that well and I have to go straight home after school, so…" he explained.
"Honestly, Bradin. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. To. You. So stop trying!" Jessica exclaimed, frustrated. She turned away from him and started walking.
"Wait, no, Jess, I came over because, well, the reason I couldn't sleep was 'cause I had these weird nightmares, and I-I think I have an idea of what I did," he gulped.
"Good for you," was her cool answer.
"No, please, I-I still can't remember much, but from the pieces that surfaced…" Bradin caught up to her and blocked her path. "I am so sorry."
"Tell me, how much do you remember?" she crossed her arms.
Bradin's face changed colour, "I-I said some things about Sara…and my hand was… I'm really confused, did we kiss?"
"Yeah, we did, I came back to say how sorry I was and how much I wanted to be with you too. Then we made out and you tried to get my shirt off, even after I said no three times. At this point, I realized how drunk you were and you made some pleasant comment about how you screwed half the girls you've been with in the past two months and remarked how Sara wouldn't have stopped you from doing things. You groped me again and it finally dawned on me how twisted you were so I grabbed your keys and left." Jessica muttered venomously, "There. The blanks are filled, I hope."
Bradin gaped for a moment before running to catch up with her again, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders, he pleaded, "Jessica, I, I can't even begin to say how sorry I am…But you've got to know, that wasn't me. I-I would never- I wouldn't do that to you, ever. I would never hurt you. I care about you so much…"
"It was really wonderful to find out that you had been thinking about sex with me since the beginning of summer. Nice to know what it is you care about," Jessica said calmly. "Of course, on that night it wasn't you I was with, no, you never hurt me, no it wasn't you that made me feel more like an object than a person, 'cause Bradin Westerly wouldn't do that. Except you did."
"I was drunk!" he blurted. "I had no idea what I was doing, what I was saying!"
"Yeah, but you did when you gulped down the alcohol in the first place. Even if you hadn't done all that crap, the point is, you got drunk. After swearing to my parents that you had only drank alcohol that one incident and that you would never again until it was legal, after promising me that you would never do something so stupid again, you did. And the alcohol didn't make you lie it just loosened you up. So I guess I should be grateful I saw who you truly were before we actually started going out. I guess I should be thankful to find out what you really think about when we hang out."
"I know it was incredibly stupid, I get that, and if I could take it back I could! But I didn't mean those words! I swear, I didn't! The only reason I turned to beer in the first place was because I thought you really wouldn't give me another chance. I thought you wouldn't be with me. You had rejected me and that just destroyed me, okay?" Bradin said.
"Don't you fucking dare blame me for your drinking," she snapped.
"No, that's not what I meant!" he hastily exclaimed.
"Why don't you go and sleep with some other girl from our school, huh? I'm sure it'd take a lot less effort," dismissed Jessica.
"I'm not like that," Bradin said desperately, "I know my past few months aren't a stellar example of this, but I'm not one of those guys who cares only about your body."
"Sounded a whole lot like it, to me. The master of the one-night stand even admitted it. And such a statement cannot be taken back." Jessica told him.
"Jessica, you are such a great person, and I care about you with all my heart, I hate myself for ever hurting you in any way and I have to make you understand, I'm not really like that. You've known me for 15 years, how can you doubt this?" he said.
"Because you're an attractive guy who has multitudes of girls wanting to shack with you, the Bradin I saw before very well could have been an act. That night, the alcohol took down your mask and revealed your true perverted horny self." Jessica bit out. "Tell me, what do you know about me, Bradin, really? Aside from the fact that you still haven't seen me in a bikini, what is it that you like so much?"
Bradin faltered for just a moment but it was enough to cause a new layer of hurt to appear in Jessica's eyes. "You can't even tell me. You don't even know. All that you see is my body. You've never really cared, have you?" the anger was still residing in her voice, but much more prominent now was the deep hurt. Her voice cracked and broke and her eyes screamed out the wounded feeling he had inflicted. She looked away from him and walked in the direction of the school. "Don't ever talk to me again." The words were dripping with unshed tears.
Bradin watched her go, still unable to find words. He stood frozen to the spot, filled with enormous remorse. He had a billion reasons why he liked her. He had so much to say, so much to reassure her by, yet the words stalled. They wouldn't come out. A billion things to list and he couldn't even let one word escape.
"Because you're Jessica Wong." He choked out at last, despair and self-loathing, longing and regret filling his entire body. Bradin watched her disappear from his view and he slammed his fist into a tree, causing a surge of pain to wallow in him. He didn't even notice. The fact his hand was bleeding bright red, the fact he quite possible broke his hand, neither registered nor mattered to him.
She was gone and he had no friggin idea how to get her back this time.
A/N: Again, thank you people for reviewing! Please continue to do so!
