Bradin's eyes, though hard and indifferent during his conversation with Burke, immediately softened the moment his back was turned and his face no longer visible. His steps were quick and each one was filled with pent up frustration and pain. He felt the hatred and anger slip into every part of him, but not so much towards Jessica as to himself. He truly wasn't that pissed at her. He himself didn't have any idea why he blew it so far out of proportion. Sure, she'd made a mistake and yeah, she should've trusted him, but he'd done worse and he knew it. The main thing that hurt him was hearing Jess say she was scared that he'd hit her. That part just drove a nail through him. He would never have touched her. He had never laid a violent hand on a girl in his life and he wasn't going to. It really did hurt that she thought he was capable of that. It hurt that she had such a low perception of his morals. But she had apologized, she had cried, she had begged, she had waited on his doorstep with blanket, coffee, and novel in hand (which actually looked half finished when he came out…he hoped she didn't start it just that morning). She couldn't really do much more. Bradin knew this. He knew she was genuinely remorseful for not believing him. He had heard her words. Yet somehow, he had found it fit to dismiss them.

The twisted part is a part of him didn't want to forgive her for the reason that he had had to apologize so many times, a part of him wanted to snatch up this opportunity as pay back. Sick, yes. He wanted to see her make it up. That's when the self-loathing really settled in. A part of him wanted to see her suffer. He hated these thoughts. When he walked away that morning, he had heard her sobs, could feel her pain. He could feel her words dripping with desperateness when she had asked if he cared about her. She was crying when she spoke the words, her eyes begging. His words were harsh. Too harsh. He knew this, too. In all those times when she was mad at him, she had never denied her feelings for him. She had never told him that she didn't feel anything for him. She had never said that she no longer cared about him. The moment he said no, it was as if the light just diminished from her. He had turned away so coldly but he had heard the soft thump of her falling to the ground. He should've stopped, he should've taken it back, but he just walked off. Bradin had let his anger in that moment over take him. He was being a selfish whining prat and he knew it. He was being overly stubborn, being angrier than he should've been. And he just didn't understand why. He cared about her and his heart almost shattered when he made her cry, yet he remained stubbornly cold. It was completely in his power to change it all, to make everything well, but he couldn't do it. Bradin wasn't just covering up when he had said how tired he was. This thing with Jessica really was exhausting him. But it should have been worth it. She was his light. So why was he being such an ass?

Reaching his home, he was greeted by a less than happy Susannah. "Jessica looked really upset this morning. I thought you two were good friends?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Bradin answered sullenly, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

"Yeah, well when I walk outside to find a girl having a break down on our front lawn, I think I have a right to know. What did you do to make her so sad?" questioned Susannah.

"It wasn't a break down." Bradin said, the first thing that popped in his mind.

"I'm not sure how you classify a break down, but that definitely looked like one to me." Susannah raised her eyebrows.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Bradin repeated, keeping his face stone. He grabbed an apple and turned from the kitchen to his room.

"Bradin, if you ever need to talk-" Susannah started.

"Whatever." He brushed off. He'd go to Jay if he ever needed to talk. Honestly…

After he slammed his room door closed, Bradin threw his apple against the wall. It wasn't a break down. He couldn't have made her that upset. But he knew that he had really hurt her. He felt really sorry about it but there wasn't anything he could do about it. His mind was still buzzed and confused by all that had happened… after saying all that shit, Bradin didn't think he could just take it all back. What was said was said and there wasn't anything else to it.

He was just a screwed up person, is all. Hormonal, indecisive, and angry at the whole world. But saying that he didn't care about Jess was a gigantic lie. It couldn't have been further from the truth. It was strange, really. The one thing he wanted to do right now was just hold her in his arms, accept her apology, and be with her. Yet a part of him was still pissed, a part of him didn't want to make up. A part of him believed that if things were good again, something even worse would and destroy everything altogether. Bradin didn't want to be played the fool. It'd be better to end things on his terms now then to have her break it off later. Bradin snorted. Yeah, that was rich. Cowardly and timid normally didn't describe Bradin. He was a risk taker. But with Jessica, he was so worried about crushing what they had that he crushed it anyways. He couldn't stand being hurt by her so he did the hurting. It was dark thinking, very 'Eat or be eaten' way to look at things, but Bradin couldn't help it. She was special. And what a nice way to show her.


That night, Bradin had a warped dream.

Jessica's long black hair was matted and tangled; the wind had swept it over her eyes and gave her a look of despair. She was crumpled on the sand near the ocean, the tide was moving in slowly but she didn't move.

Her eyes swollen and blistering red, she turned her face to look at him. She gave a sad, lonely smile and he noticed that her hands were shaking. Bradin walked closer and he realized that she was bleeding all over.

"Jessica?" he blurted out in astonishment. "What happened?"

"A cut for every emotional wound you gave me over these last few months," she told him in a cheerful voice.

"How did- oh my God!" Bradin was beside her, trying to help her up. She pushed him away.

"It's too late, Bray." She shook her head and laughed. "Just because you didn't physically hit me doesn't mean you've never dealt me a blow. Do I have to look like this for you to care? But no, you don't care. You never cared."

"That's not true, Jess, I'm sorry, I forgive you." Bradin said hopelessly. He blinked and suddenly Jessica seemed to be fading away further and further from him.

"I'm sorry too, Bradin. I never should have trusted Jason." She said. "But you don't care. You don't care. I'm sorry but it's too late for that. You don't want me any more…I'll leave, then. Since you hate me so much."

"No! Don't, please-" Bradin yelled. "I forgive you! It's not too late! I do care, I do want you around-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, why couldn't you have forgiven me?" she rocked back and forth sadly. With one last glance at Bradin, she mouthed 'I'm sorry' before she lifted her arms up and closed her eyes, the waves sped upon her and washed her away. Bradin screamed and clawed out for her, pushing past the water, desperately looking for her. There was nothing but water and air.

"Jess!" he yelled. "Come back! I didn't mean it!"

Bradin woke up with a start, yelling out for Jessica. A moment passed and he realized it was just a dream. He sucked in a few deep breaths but he was still panting. He was sweating and his entire body was wracked with stiff fear. He glanced at the clock. Seven o'clock and time to get up anyways.


Bradin was disturbed. He felt shaken and uncomfortable and after a cold chilling shower, he still felt like shit. With barely a word to his siblings and aunt, Bradin jogged out of the house, inhaling the fresh air deeply. The sight of the ocean only reminded him of his dream. Feeling sick, Bradin started to run the rest of the way to school. On his way, he spotted Jessica on the beach, crouched in the sand, the waves licking her bare feet. He was feeling down right nauseous now. A pinch showed he was awake this time.

A rush of panic over came him and he screamed at the top of his lungs, "JESSICA! Don't do it! Get away from the waves!"

She asked him in complete confusion and curiosity, "What are you talking about?" The words were barely out before Bradin had sprinted the rest of the way over and had encased her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Are you all right? You're all right, right?" Bradin's voice was anxious.

She stared at him in bewilderment. "I'm okay-"

"Thank God," his arms were still tightly around her and she could feel him shaking. "I'm sorry. I accept your apology, I didn't mean anything that I said, of course I care about you, God, you scared me!"

"…Bradin, what's going on? Why are you so freaked?" she questioned. He pulled back and she saw his eyes watering rapidly.

"I had this dream, this horrible crappy dream," his voice was still bordering on hysterical and he seemed to be inspecting her to make sure that she was, in fact, okay.

"Bradin, I'm all right," she soothed. The tears were actually starting to slide down his tanned cheeks now. She wiped them away and he gathered her in his arms again. "Did you say you've forgiven me?"

"Hell yeah, I was stupid, I know you're sorry and I just don't want to lose you." He told her, his voice shaking.

"Bradin, I'm so sorry… I didn't, I mean, I was brain dead for believing Jason. I do trust you, I do, with all my heart, and I'm sorry, so sorry, for accusing you-" Jessica rambled.

"Shhh. It's fine. You don't have to say anything anymore. It's fine." Bradin silenced her, "I know. And you don't need to apologize anymore. I was so scared that something happened to you…"

Jessica was touched that he was so frantic about her. She kissed his nose. "I'll be fine. As long as you're here, as long as you still want me around, as long as you still care about me…"

"I'll always care about you," Bradin told her; he was starting to calm down a bit. Jessica stared into his concerned, desperate, frenzied eyes and entwined her hand in his.

"My protector, right?" she smiled.

"Always." He kissed her ear and wrapped his free arm around her. He wouldn't let her go. Not this time.


A/N: Okay, this might be the last chapter, but I'm thinking one more couldn't hurt, it feels kind of rushed... By the way, thanks Caitlin, yeshi it was a typo, sorry : p And as always, thank you all you kind, kind people out there reviewing : )