Author's Notes: I'm writing this chapter in a really weird order. I wrote the end, and now I'm going back to write the author's notes and the rest of the chapter…weird. Ich habe keine Idee (pronounced Ee-day) warum… Hier kommt der Afffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Translation: I have no idea why…Here comes the monkey!!!! Hier kommt meine neu Chapter.

Chapter 7

Ok, wait, before I begin…I have some points to award! 5 points goes to Aquarius 25! And, to everyone, you get a point everytime you review my story, so I'll calculate that later-on. K? k.

Colin was walking down the hallway towards his first class of the day, Potions. Why? Why is it that we always have potions with Snape? We never get Herbology, Transfiguration…and it's always with the Slytherins. We never have the class with the Hufflepuffs…or the Ravenclaws. It's always Double Potions…with the Slytherins…maybe my entire life is just made for somebody else's amusement…maybe it's because it's for drama…maybe (ah! He's getting to close to the truth! Somebody, think fast! Me: I will! This calls for…SPONTANEOS SMASHING INTO WALLS!!!)

…but Colin didn't have enough time to finish his thought, because at that second, he tripped on a banana peel after getting hexed by a Slytherin, with a truth spell, that dumped pudding onto his head, and, as Colin was falling, his butt hit a sled, which was carefully positioned at the top of the stairs, which caused him to fly down the stairs, on the sled, backwards, and finally come to a stop against a wall, after he zoomed through an open door, which was being opened by someone, he couldn't tell who at the time, but luck was against him, once again, because the door he went through led into a classroom, and that classroom was Potions…and the wall he crashed into, was actually the ingredients cupboard…and the crashing/breaking/sound of destruction, were the ingredients crashing to the ground and shattering into millions of pieces; and then the explosion he heard was the sound of what happens when you mix unicorn hair, ginger root, eye of newt, gilly weed, and many other ingredients all at once, and the person he caused to fall over and injure him, seriously, by accidentally whacking him in a very bad place to whack a teacher caused by trying to protect oneself from an explosion that takes place right next to you, and it is, of course, only a reaction to flail one's arms around randomly, was none other than Professor Snape…a very angry Professor Snape…(A/N: omg, that was the most grammatically incorrect run-on sentence I have ever written. Oh my, that was odd. It took my 10 minutes. Haha, that was great, ok, on with the story)

"CREEVEY!!!" Snaped screamed, and I mean screamed, if you thought you knew an angry Snape, think again. His eyes were bulging and blood shot from bulging, he had developed a very noticeable, frequent twitch, his hair looked as if he stuck a fork in a toaster while holding a kite with a key tied onto it during a thunderstorm, while standing in a bucket of water, and his face was so covered in soot from the explosion, it looked like he was of a different race, which is a big thing, seeing as how he's as pale as a Malfoy.

"Yes, professor?" Colin squeaked.

"WOULD YOU MIND EXPLAINING WHY AND HOW YOU HAVE CAUSED SO MUCH DESTRUCTION WITHIN 2 SECONDS????!!!!!!" he yelled, his twitch growing worse as the seconds wore on. Silence. "HAVE YOU ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"

"Look, you have a lisp and you wear strange suits." (Can anyone tell me what play this quote is from: hint: written by Shakespeare. Line said by "traveler" in act 4 10 pts of you review and tell me! It's 4 words.)

For once, Snape didn't have anything cruel and obnoxious to say, which is a true rarity. He simply stared blankly, amazed that anyone would have the courage to say that. Of course, that only lasted for a moment, and the next thing Colin knew Snape had him in a headlock. "I," Snape hissed through gritted teeth, "do not have a lisp!"

"You're right, you know, I'd say it's more of a nice spray every time you open your wide trap." Snape growled in response, having a very difficult time forming words. "Yup, see, when you yell, you're greasy hair flies around, and you spit when you say the letters 'p' or 't' or, my personal favorite, 's'." Colin then went on to mimic Snape's attempt to yell at Harry Potter. "Ppppp spray otttttttt tidal wave er! Jussssssssst what spritz do you think you're doing, coming intttt splash my classsssssss late sploosh?!

"ENOUGH!" Snape pulled back his fist, forgetting he was a wizard, and was about to smash Colin's face in when a voice interrupted him.

"That's enough, Snivellus," the voice reprimanded. Snape cringed and, slowly, looked towards the source of the voice. "Please don't be him…please don't be him," Colin heard Snape mutter under his breath.

"L-Lupin?" Snape shuddered.

"Yes, Snivelly, it is I," Remus couldn't help but grin. After all, it's not everyday one gets to see their enemy blanch at the sound of one's voice.

"Why are you here?" Snape snarled, after regaining his composure.

"Well, I am the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher," Lupin smirked, just to annoy Snivelly more. "Apparently," he continued, "the only application they received didn't not meet their expectations. So, they contacted me, and here I am."

"I didn't—" Snape argued, but didn't finish because he was interrupted by…

(to the tune of the Batman theme song) "Nuh nuuuu nu nu nununununununu SNAPE SPRAY!!!! Nuh nuuuunununununununununu SNAPE SPRAAAYYYYYYYY! Nuh nu—" Colin sang obnoxiously, while Remus wiped the tears from his eyes, caused by laughing so hard.

"ENOUGH!" Snape yelled. "Mr. Lupin, I didn't mean why are you 'at Hogwarts', I meant 'what the bleeding hell are you doing in my classroom'!"

"You mean my classroom, Severus. Dumbledore has informed me that you will be holding your classes in here, but your office will be located in Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom."

"WHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTT!?" Snape snapped, twitching as violently as ever, still holding Colin in a headlock. Snape's responses consisted of: "Juuuuust kidding!" Remus said in a sing-songy voice; and "Nuh nuunununununununununu SNAPE SP—" ENOUGH! You, Remus, get out of my classroom, and, you, Colin, get out of my site before I perform the killing curse on you!!!

"Right-o!" Colin responded, and then couldn't help adding, thanks to the truth spell, "Would you please inform Voldi-poo that he needs to get a better death eater. Besides, if he couldn't kill me with that curse, what makes you think you could kill me with it?"

"OOOOOUUUUTTTTTT!" Snape bellowed, finally having a complete nervous breakdown, and they both thought it would be best if they left, promptly.

"Granger!" Colin called. He was standing in his bedroom, a special room only for him. When she appeared he said, "You fulfill the prophecy too, don't you!"

"No, not really." She told him, "I was born in September, moron."

"You were? Crap. That means I'm the only one. I'm going to die!!!"

"Riiiiggghttt. Is that it, because if it is, I'm out of here."

"Why are you dressed in green and silver robes?" Colin asked.

"Because they're slytherin robes," came Hermione's answer.

"Why are you dressed in Slytherin robes?!" (Liz, I had Ravenclaw, but I didn't want to steal your story, which is awesome btw, Raven's Secret)

"I'm dressed in Slytherin robes because I'm a Slytherin," she replied calmly. "Honestly, you have a real problem with the obvious."

"WHAT?!" Colin choked on his words in an attempt to make sense of anything. "What do you mean? You're supposed to be a Griffindor—all Slytherins end up as death eaters!"

"What's your point? Death Eater's are only trying to cleanse the earth of unworthy mudbloods…"

"First of all, you're a muggleborn. Second of all, you were the one who started the DA. How could you completely destroy all that?!"

"First of all," she said, mimicking his annoying voice, "I created the VA."

"The VA?" he asked.

"Voldermort's Army," she explained, enjoying the look on Colin's face as he blanched.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-" Colin stuttered until he was interrupted.

"SILENCE!" she screamed. "I joined because I did not wish to end up like the others."

She paused for a moment, but resumed speaking as Colin opened his mouth, most likely, to say something stupid. "The others died. There are only a few of us left. Dumbledore is the only one left. Even Moody has become a death eater."

"That's impossible!"

"That's life."

"How did you end up there? Wouldn't they distrust you?"

"They did…at first…but I proved myself…"

"How?" he asked, slowly.

"With my first target. If I succeed, the Dark Lord agreed to let me be his 'right hand woman.' "

"W-w-who?"

"You, of course." Hermione grabbed Colin around the neck and threw him against the wall. The sleeve of her robe fell back to reveal the dark mark. After seeing this, Colin turned whiter than humanly possible and tried to whimper, but his lack of oxygen made it quite difficult. "You die-I win. Simple as that."

"I-I-I- w-w-" Colin tried to say, but it was proved nearly impossible. "I wish—I was not like Harry Potter!" he screamed after wriggling free of Hermione's grasp.

"It's 'I wish I were', you ignorant little nark!" Hermione corrected.

"Does it even matter? Send me back! I want the real world! I-I-I," he screamed, but was forced to stop when the world around him faded to black.

Author's Notes: Ok, haha, I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing. Don't forget to review for points.

Next Chapter: Someone gets a hold of Hermione's bottle, again.

Future Events: uhhhhhhhh