Yami no Matsuei fairy tale, part 2

By Sakura no Miko

Summary: This is more of an odd little idea that popped into my head. It's a continuation of my "Sleeping Beauty" with Yami no Matsuei characters.

Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks I own Yami no Matsuei, or would make a profit off of it, needs to see a doctor. Quickly.

Warnings: This is the second half of my dark fairy tale, following more of Tsuzuki and Tatsumi's relationship. It's still pretty dark, but decidedly more fluffy in this part.

Again, there's shounen ai/yaoi/'hot guys doing hot things to each other,' of the Tatsumi/Tsuzuki variety.

Also: I'm going with American-style names (given name, family name) and completely making up all aspects of both Tsuzuki's and Tatsumi's family lives.


Long ago, a beautiful young prince was placed under a curse so terrible that, even now, many are loathe to speak of it. Prince Asato Tsuzuki of Chikyuu was the only child of a noble King and Queen, brought into the world with the help of a cruel doctor. Muraki, as the doctor was known, was a practitioner of the black arts, known throughout the land for being able to cure the most terrible injuries. He saved the life of the child and Queen, but his plans turned dark when the rulers sought to cut all ties with him.

At the birth party of the young prince, he received the gifts of three powerful spirits, known as the Three Shinigami. First, he was given beauty beyond all known in the world, and an ever-joyful, gentle personality. But after these wonderful gifts were bestowed, Muraki returned, and, in the blackness of his heart, he cursed the babe, damning him to die before his youth ended.

By fortune, the power of the last Shinigami softened the blow, sentencing the child to a long and dark sleep, but not to death.

To save the child, many sacrifices were made, many hearts wounded. The King and Queen's lives ended miserably, though they rejoiced that they would not have to see their child die. The measures taken to save the child left him alone, trapped in a living tomb of white, able to see, yet never touch, the outside world. So it came to happen that, when he was but a year away from the end of his youth, Prince Tsuzuki took his own life.

As promised, however, he only slept...

The decades passed, and with them, adventurers seeking to wake the sleeping beauty. It was many years until, at last, Tatsumi Tatsumi of Meifu found his way to the realm of Tsuzuki's enchantment, and woke the beautiful boy. Together, they made their way out of the ancient castle, to the outside...


The northern kingdom, Tenkuu by name, had grown from the remains of many kingdoms left powerless and leaderless through war. The remnants of Chikyuu, urged by the Three Shinigami to leave their prince in peace, sought refuge in the newly-formed kingdom. Few believed they would ever see their prince again, and many were right. Years, even decades had passed since that fateful day, and only a few elderly servants remained alive. Children scoffed at them, their foolish dreams.

And so, imagine the joyous cries that rang when the watches first proclaimed the great news: Two strangers, upon a single white horse, both handsome and weary, seeking refuge. One of them claimed to be a prince, the men laughed, and the prince of the lost Chikyuu, no less!

The few that could came, in all haste, to the gates, staring in wonder at the lovely strangers. One, standing straight and tall, soft brown hair ruffled by the breeze, peering about through his glasses and throwing a cold glare at the laughing sentries. The other, smaller—or so it seemed, for he was slightly slumped, standing close to the other man—with dark, chocolate-brown hair falling to his shoulders, nervously hiding his face. When he looked up, defiance and a bit of anger of his face, the guards' laughter was silenced as his bright violet eyes fell upon them. He straightened up, a strange pride emanating from him, but made no sound. His hand, few noted, was tightly clasped in the other man's, and the other's expression was gentler, for the briefest instant.

An old matron, hardly able to walk, approached, leaning heavily on a younger man's shoulder. A loud sob tore from her throat, and all eyes fell to her. "My Prince!" she cried, falling weakly to her knees.

"Mother..." cried the young man, hurriedly trying to pull her up. She would not move, her eyes fixed on the strangers.

The smaller man's stance softened, confusion written all over his face. His eyes widened as they met the dulled, but still blue, eyes of the old woman. He broke away from his companion, running to the woman. His throat was dry, his voice hoarse, but his words rang clear: "I remember...I know you..."

"Oh, Prince!" the woman wept, turning her face away, "Prince..."

Violet eyes met with silver tears. "Can...can you really be her? You're that little girl who...used to look up at me..." The man fell to his knees, embracing the woman instantly, then pulling back with fear in his eyes.

The woman looked at him sadly. "Oh, my beautiful Prince..." She reached, with a frail hand, to touch his face. He stiffened, then relaxed into the gentle caress, clasping the wrinkled hand beneath his own.

"You used to call up to me from the courtyard," he whispered. "Kirei."

"Oh, Prince! To remember such...such a foolish girl!" Through her tears, a smile found its way to her face. "We...we knew you'd come back to us! We tried to hold on! Oh, how happy everyone would be to see you now, my Prince..."

He suddenly realized his companion was behind him. "Tatsumi!" he cried out. "I'm so sorry! I...I should have believed you!"

A hand found touched his shoulder. "It's alright, Tsuzuki. Few people would believe such a story. I don't blame you."

"Tatsumi...this is Kirei...my friend," Tsuzuki said gently.

Kirei smiled. With her son's help, she marched angrily to the sentries. "This is Prince Asato Tsuzuki of Chikyuu! How dare you laugh at him!"

"But Kirei...he'd be older than you by now," one of the younger men snickered.

Tsuzuki paled. The simple, mocking comment hurt him terribly. He should have... Tsuzuki shook off the thought, but the pain remained. Tatsumi's hand gripped him harder, and the simple gesture felt wonderful. "K...Kirei," he called out. "Please, Kirei, it's enough." He smiled, despite the pain, the enormity of what he finally understood. So much time had passed...and it was his world no longer. "Kirei...tell me, who's still...still alive? I want to meet them."

Tatsumi's hand slid off his shoulder, and when Tsuzuki looked up questioningly, he saw the hand outstretched, reaching for his own. Gratefully, he let Tatsumi help him back to his feet. 'That's right,' he thought to himself. 'This is Tatsumi's world.' Tatsumi's hands were always warm, unlike his, but neither of them minded. 'I'd have never met...Tatsumi...' A soft, strange sort of pain filled him when he thought of not having the taller man at his side. No, it wasn't quite pain. It disappeared the moment he saw Tatsumi giving a death glare to the poor guards again. He couldn't help but smile. Tatsumi was with him, so there was no point to thinking otherwise.


The arrangements were quick and simple: a single room at the inn, a small piece of a neighboring field for their horses, and privacy. Tsuzuki had wandered around the room for a bit, marveling at everything from the small statues to the fabric of the blankets. He finally wandered downstairs, seeking the source of a pleasant smell that had wafted even to their remote area.

Tatsumi, however, was intent on starting a fire, and as quickly as he could. It was far colder in this kingdom than he'd expected, and he didn't need his fragile companion getting sick. The firewood was, for some bizarre reason, on the other side of the room, and he enlisted several shadows to help move the heavy load. Glancing back, he noted that most of the pile had been carried to the fireplace already. One or two more trips and it would be done. Tatsumi leaned gently into the ash-colored fireplace, trying his best to coax the small flame onto the small branches he'd used as kindling.

His thoughts wandered to the younger man. He was probably having a wonderful time eating whatever it was they'd smelled. It had probably been some type of sweet cake or other dessert. Tatsumi sighed softly. Tsuzuki definitely had a liking for sweet foods. Still, he was worried about the Tsuzuki's naiveté. He could get hurt so easily... Yes, he'd have to go downstairs and look for him soon, before he got into any trouble.

Ah, the flame had finally taken hold. Tatsumi reached for a few of the smaller logs and...touched the bare ground. He pushed himself back to his feet. Everything should have been here by now... Tatsumi pulled irritably at the shadows, and to his surprise, they pulled back. Tatsumi turned around, confused and—

Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki was standing there, right in the middle of the room, staring at the dark swirls of shadow. He reached out, hesitant but determined, and ran his hand over a length of blackness. And he laughed. The shadow twirled gently around his hand and pulled it in Tatsumi's direction. Tsuzuki's smile was bright, and he said, "Tatsumi? Are these yours?"

Tatsumi was so surprised he couldn't reply. He'd expected...he expected Tsuzuki to be frightened, or surprised, anything but the serene, happy expression he saw on the boy's face.

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki's face morphed into concern, and the shadow tugged insistently at his hand. That was another thing. Why...how were his shadows doing this? Acting of their own free will?

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki pouted adorably. "Tatsumi, are you alright?" He grabbed Tatsumi's outstretched hand. Wait...when had he...?

Tatsumi nodded mutely.

"You scared me at first," Tsuzuki continued, blissfully unaware of Tatsumi's agitation. "I thought I was seeing things." He looked Tatsumi in the eye and said, with mock anger, "You could have just come down yourself, or called me, instead of sending these...these things downstairs." The shadow squeezed his hand. "They are cute, though," Tsuzuki amended, patting the shadow on his arm. It uncurled itself and faded away. "What are they?"

"Shadows," Tatsumi murmured, trying to understand what had happened. He barely noticed when Tsuzuki dropped his hand and knelt in front of the fire.

"So warm..." he heard Tsuzuki whisper distantly. Tatsumi glanced over at the boy, who was happily warming his hands at the fire. Tatsumi frowned. The expression on Tsuzuki's face...the way he was biting his lip, as if in pain...

...the hands far too close to the flames...

"Tsuzuki!" Tatsumi reacted instantly, roughly grabbing the pale arms back. Tsuzuki cried out in pain, his teary eyes hurt and confused. His hands were already red, blistering, and hot to the touch. Tatsumi held to the slender wrists, wondering what he could do to heal the wounds, end the pain.

"Tatsumi...what are you doing?" the voice, sweet but trembling, asked softly. "Tatsumi..." Scared eyes met concerned ones, and the swift beats of Tsuzuki's hearts slowed to a gentler rhythm. He blinked once, twice. The soft ache in his hands was already beginning to fade. It was faster now, he realized. What was Tatsumi doing? Tsuzuki felt the urge to whine, or maybe pout at the man for pulling him away from the warm fire.

Tatsumi watched, his mouth opened stupidly, as the red burns faded from Tsuzuki's flesh as if they were some trick of the light, some illusion meant to scare him. "Tsuzuki...how...?" he stammered. He was scaring himself now.

"How what?" Tsuzuki replied, sincerely confused.

"Your hands...they're healed...like they were never hurt," Tatsumi murmured, still half in shock.

Tsuzuki blinked. He began to laugh, relief pouring over him. "Tatsumi, stop teasing me. Of course I'm already healed. I'm even faster now than I ever was before." Tatsumi's eyes narrowed and Tsuzuki was thrown back into confusion. Gradually, though, Tatsumi began to laugh; a small smile appeared on his face. "Tatsumi, you're not making sense," Tsuzuki pouted. "Doesn't everyone heal like this?"

"No," came the abrupt reply. Tsuzuki's expression changed to something... something almost like fear. Or shame. "Just like not everyone can do this," he said gently as a flame-like shadow appeared in the palm of his hand.

Tsuzuki looked at his own hand curiously. He shook his head suddenly. "No! You're lying," he said angrily. "I'm no different from everyone else." His eyes, his voice, raised the plea, and it broke Tatsumi's heart.

He could remember it all to well. The way everyone shrunk away in fear...struck out in anger...stared and talked as he passed by... He even remembered his own disbelief and grief that he was the only one who could do what he did.

"Watch," he said suddenly, a thought crossing his mind. Gritting his teeth, his thrust his hand into the fire and tried not to cry out. Tsuzuki's reaction was instantaneous. He grabbed Tatsumi firmly by the arm and pulled his hand back. The both of them fell backwards, tumbling onto the floor. Tsuzuki ended up sprawled on top of the older man, whose first action was to reach up and push his glasses back into place.

"Your hand," Tsuzuki whispered when he saw the reddened fingers, the open blisters. "Tatsumi...you..." He swallowed. "Why?" He knew, deep down, that Tatsumi had been telling the truth. He knew he was different, locked up away from everyone else. And he'd let Tatsumi hurt himself!

"It's nothing," Tatsumi insisted, trying unsuccessfully to get up. Tsuzuki pushed him back down, his eyes tearing up. He looked down at his companion silently, trying to say something, anything. It was too much, too fast. Finally, he buried his face against Tatsumi's shoulder, trying to make sense of all the changes, all the revelations. Tatsumi's arms wrapped around him, and he felt safer than he'd ever felt in his own lonely bed all the nights of his life.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Tsuzuki..." His eyes were very bright, Tatsumi noticed. Brighter than anyone else's he'd ever seen. His eyes shone with emotions he didn't understand, but couldn't stop. There was a sense of vulnerability that radiated from him, and he was all the more desirable because of it. "I forgive you," he said, as gently and softly as he could, "even though there's nothing to forgive." There was a soft sound, and Tatsumi realized that the boy had managed to fall into a fitful sleep in his arms.

And so ended their first day in their new home...


"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki called gently, seeking his friend as he stepped into their little room. He let out his breath gently when he saw Tatsumi, curled up slightly on one of the chairs, a book fallen near his feet. He was sleeping.

Days had already become weeks, and he found, to his great joy, that life was getting better everyday. He never ran out of things to say, or people to talk to, or foods to eat. The fear that used to characterize him was overrun by curiosity. Just today, he'd seen his first puppy. The tiny, wriggling bundle of fur licked him on the face and chased him around until they both collapsed. He poked his little nose everywhere, trying to understand the world, a tiny bit at a time. Tsuzuki smiled at the memory.

But that wasn't what he wanted to ask Tatsumi. It was something he'd noticed, but couldn't figure out. Tatsumi had to be asleep, didn't he? Tsuzuki cringed at the thought. The night before... He'd had a terrible dream, about falling and falling and darkness and never seeing anyone else again. He must have cried, or screamed, because he woke up in Tatsumi's arms, the older man stroking his hair and whispering softly in his ears. Tatsumi was wonderful. He always knew what to do. Tsuzuki had fallen asleep again, but had Tatsumi? He'd already been gone when Tsuzuki woke up, and come in soon after, bringing fresh fruits and other things for breakfast. And he brought lots of sweet cake-like things. Tatsumi always remembered to bring something sweet.

Tatsumi was perfect.

Tsuzuki smiled at the thought. No one was perfect, he knew, but Tatsumi was so close. Tatsumi did everything right. He remembered everything, and always knew what to do. He even looked perfect. His hair almost never fell in his face like Tsuzuki's did, and his eyes were blue like the sky. Lots of people in this kingdom had blue eyes, Tsuzuki noticed. Or they were green like grass or brown like the earth. No one had purple eyes like his. It was just another different thing about him, he supposed.

"Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki smiled. Tatsumi's voice always sounded strange when he woke up. It was a pretty sort of strange, though. "You're awake," he pointed out happily. "I wanted to ask you something."

Tatsumi stared at him for a moment, and Tsuzuki wondered why. But then it was gone, and Tatsumi smiled at him. "Ask whatever you want."

"Why do people have two names?"

Tatsumi blinked. "People have two names because... Well, so people know who they are. People used to have just one name, but if there were two people with the same name, they'd get mixed up sometimes and cause trouble."

"Do you have two names?" Tsuzuki asked curiously. Tatsumi was Tatsumi.

"Yes..." Tsuzuki's eyes went wide. He was so open, Tatsumi thought. "Most people have one name that they share with their family, and one name that's just theirs. 'Tatsumi' is my family's name."

Tsuzuki looked at him owlishly. "You mean your mother and father and brothers and sisters are all named 'Tatsumi' too?"

"They would be," Tatsumi said gently, trying not to laugh at Tsuzuki's boyish expression.

Tsuzuki frowned so hard he went cross-eyed. "Then what's your other name?"

Tatsumi's mouth ran dry. The last person who ever called him by his given name had been...

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki leaned forward, peering into his eyes. "Don't you like your name?"

"No, that's not it."

"Then...what?"

Tatsumi looked away. "It's been a long time since anyone called me....that name..."

Tsuzuki was quiet. Tatsumi looked back at him, the silent question written all over his face. But he kept quiet. He seemed to sense, somehow, that Tatsumi was reluctant.

"...Seiichirou." There, it was out. Tatsumi let out a breath. It didn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would, saying the old name again.

"Sei...i...chi...ro..." Tsuzuki said slowly, and softly. "Seiichirou! I like it. Can I call you Seiichirou, Tatsumi?" His hands rushed to his mouth. "I...I mean...if you don't mind," he stammered.

"Um...if you want to...yes," Tatsumi stammered in surprise. The way Tsuzuki said his name...it was nothing like...nothing like the way he said it. The soft melody of Tsuzuki's voice was nothing like his bitter poison. Tsuzuki made anything sound wonderful.

Tsuzuki was frowning again. His mouth moved, but no sound came out. "I don't know it," he said suddenly. "I don't remember my other name."

Tatsumi would have smiled, if not for the look of fear that filled Tsuzuki's face. He wouldn't care if he never heard the name 'Seiichirou' again for all of his life. Tsuzuki was the only person he'd ever met whose voice could say that name without revulsion filling his heart. No, with Tsuzuki it was the exact opposite. Tsuzuki, with the voice of an angel... Tsuzuki was his angel...

"Asato," he said softly, looking into those dark violet eyes. "She called you Asato Tsuzuki."

He blinked, but nothing else changed. "...again," he whispered, almost too soft to hear.

"Asato."

Tsuzuki sank down into the chair next to Tatsumi. A choking sensation, deep in his chest, made him ache terribly. He didn't remember...but Tatsumi made the name sound so sweet. "I...I don't know..." he confessed, burying his face in his hands. He felt so weak, so ashamed. He was selfish, he realized. He brought up the subject, and forced Tatsumi to talk when it was hurting him, and now...he wanted nothing but to sob when he went through the same pain. "Again?" he asked, half-pleading.

He knew, even before he felt them, that Tatsumi would wrap him up in his arms. The sweet whisper, "Asato," in his ears.... He knew that, too. "Seiichirou," drifted from his lips, and he felt the soft shudder that ran through Tatsumi's body at the familiarity of the name. He could remember that lone fact: to call someone by their other name was special, precious. Tsuzuki had, in his heart, only been joking when he asked the question. He understood intimately that sweet understanding that allowed two people to speak so freely, to give their true names away...and he'd taken advantage of Tatsumi's kindness mercilessly.

But this moment...was worth it. Some part of him craved the weaknesses he wanted to hide. Some part of him wanted, so badly, the safety and warmth Tatsumi gave him. And, deep down, he tried to assure himself that Tatsumi felt the same way. There, he could sense it, the way Tatsumi relaxed, the way his breathing fell even and soft.

Over Tatsumi's shoulder, his own arm held fast to the jacket hanging loosely off Tatsumi's firm frame. Though the soft material hid it well, he remembered the bright streaks, never healed, on his wrist, and he remembered, though he tried to forget, the pain and icy cold of his prison.

Tsuzuki had realized long ago why he was never let out of that room, why no one ever came to see him more than once. He was weak, and he was silly, and he was different. Who would want the burden of keeping him? What could he offer to anyone but trouble?

Being with Tatsumi only highlighted it more. They were so different from one another. Tatsumi was warm, and strong, like sunlight. Tsuzuki was cold, and delicate, like the moonlight. He wanted to be like Tatsumi so badly...and yet, here he was, going on like a child and making Tatsumi protect him from the world.

"Sei...Seiichirou," he said softly, waiting for the other's man's attention. "I'm alright now, Seiichirou," he lied, trying to sound truthful.

"Asato..." The name almost undid him. No, he would be strong for Tatsumi, he would be strong for himself, he would be strong...

"Thanks," he said feebly, pushing away from the embrace as gently as he could. "I'm really okay, Seiichirou." He was probably so obvious in his lies, but he didn't care.

"I know you are," Tatsumi replied, and Tsuzuki was able to smile again. Tatsumi couldn't lie very well either.


The days passed quickly. Too quickly, Tatsumi thought sometimes. He couldn't explain what he felt anymore. He was...happy, wasn't he? It had been nearly half a year since he'd found Asato...no, Tsuzuki, his thoughts corrected him. Tsuzuki couldn't understand the closeness of the name he had begged Tatsumi to call him. Even so, in that time, the princeling had grown so much. He didn't flinch at people's touch anymore; in fact, he relished even the simplest handshake. He didn't awake in the middle of the night, crying and shivering over some dream or memory. He held himself with a glowing sense of pride, kind to everyone, but second to none.

Tsuzuki didn't need him anymore.

It had taken all of his strength, but he had managed to tear himself away. He'd taken a trip homewards, intent on seeing whether Tsuzuki would have any problems without him. He intended to stay a week...then another...and another... Tatsumi knew that Tsuzuki would never call out to him, never need him again. It was just a well, for black thoughts had been growing in his mind as of late. They had become stranger and stronger, almost overpowering in their sheer intensity. Ever since Tsuzuki had begun to avoid him, to keep to himself, he'd wanted the prince with him more and more.

He hated himself, the black thoughts that he couldn't help but entertain. His memories taunted him, reminding him that, when Tsuzuki had done all those things, he'd felt annoyance more than once, and even wished the burden of the fragile prince on another. Tatsumi's finely-tuned schedules, his plans...everything was ruined. His mind warred with his heart, over an over again. He knew he couldn't go back to the way he was, and he cursed Tsuzuki. He ached that he couldn't keep Tsuzuki with him always, and he cursed himself. And never...never could he decide which path would be more painful...

And yet...Tatsumi cursed his every waking thought about Tsuzuki. He was ashamed of himself. Tsuzuki had grown so much, but he wanted...he wanted him to go back. He wanted Tsuzuki to flinch at every strange touch, knowing that he was the only one Tsuzuki ever trusted enough to lay hands on him. He craved, even once, another night where Tsuzuki's soft sobs tore him out of bed and led the boy into his arms for comfort. And, as beautiful as Tsuzuki had grown as he walked on his own under the sun, Tatsumi wanted...he wanted to have those twilight nights of traveling slowly, the lovely prince jumping into his arms at every little sound, hiding his face from other travelers, clinging to Tatsumi like a beautiful, newborn child. How perversely he craved the pure, angelic creature he'd rescued...

In his dreams, he couldn't stop the mad flow of thoughts; no one could, really. But it was in his dreams, in the blackness of night, that he hated himself the most. He never thought to leave Tsuzuki in his dreams, though he knew he had to. No, it was far worse than that. He dreamt and awoke, like Tsuzuki on those long-ago nights, sobbing and shaking, covered in sweat and scared to his core. For in his dreams—such sweet, terrible dreams—he knew, so very well, the madness that had drawn Muraki to the boy: the sweet, pale skin, the piercing violet eyes, the softness of his voice...and the sweet seduction of his lips. One kiss, not even returned, filled Tatsumi's dreams. Day by lonely day, the ache in his heart grew stronger, and his treacherous mind conceived more and more ways to sooth it.

He wanted to tear himself to pieces for daring to think such thoughts. The stainless purity Tsuzuki possessed was meant for someone else, someone who could give the boy everything he needed...not a false friend who allowed such foul thoughts to pass in the night.

No, it was Tatsumi who now broke. He couldn't think of anything but the prince. His neighbors worried over him, gone for so long and finally returned, but changed so drastically. His "mother," a fine old widow, took one look in his eyes and said, with all finality, that he needed to go right back to whatever he'd come from and not come back until he found whatever it was he was looking for there.

That had been all he needed. He swore to himself that he would only glance, only make it concrete in his mind that Tsuzuki no longer needed him.

"Tatsumi!" called one of the young mothers, waving happily. "We're so glad you're back!"

"Maybe we'll get some sleep now, eh?" said the innkeeper, cackling gently. Tatsumi frowned. The inn was always so quiet; he and Tsuzuki had never heard anything strange during their extended stay. The innkeeper took hold of Tatsumi's horse. "You hurry up and get up there. He hasn't slept at all since you left, Tatsumi."

The look on Tatsumi's face was nothing short of horrified. He dashed into the inn, barely stopping to take the off his muddy shoes or greet the others.

He felt the soft cries before he heard them. He could envision Tsuzuki in his mind perfectly—the silver streaks of tears sliding down his pale cheeks, the nearly-closed, reddened eyes, the tragically beautiful shape of his mouth...

The moment he opened the door to their room, Tsuzuki was in his arms. Tatsumi sighed, gently, and buried his face into the prince's soft hair. Ah, the feeling of Tsuzuki's soft flesh, his warmth, his tear-streaked face...his sweet voice. "Seiichirou..." he whispered, smiling as best he could. "I...I..."

"Shhh, shh...I'm here. I'm sorry." The words poured out of his mouth, heedless of his mind's objections. He knew what he was doing—he knew he'd never be able to leave again if he...succumbed...

"Seiichirou..."

In that moment, Tatsumi knew he'd have done anything to soothe the prince. His sweet prince...

"I wanted to be strong..." Heartbreaking, the words tumbling out from petal-soft lips...

"I wanted to be like you, Seiichirou...I've hurt you so much...."

The anguished scream of his soul was silenced by lips refusing to part.

"I thought...it would be better for both of us...But I missed you so much Seiichirou. I thought I'd never see you again..."

"I'm so sorry," he tried to scream, but it was barely a whisper, so close to Tsuzuki's ear. "I'm so sorry," repeated over and over. He wanted to explain, to find some reason for the pain, but...he couldn't. How could he spill all the blackness in his own heart to the beautiful angel before him?

It was only as the thought crossed his mind that he realized...there was no darkness. He was closer than he'd ever been to the boy, yet he felt nothing but concern, and regrets, and sorrow. The frail shaking of his shoulders, the brightness of his eyes, and the breathless parting of his lips were so beautiful, yet he felt nothing black in his heart.

How tightly he cradled Tsuzuki in his arms when he realized the simple truth. As long as they were together, he knew nothing but tender love for his lovely prince. It had always been like that. The blackness was only his own loneliness, his own fears and questions turned against the closest thing in his heart...his Asato.


It was their "anniversary," Tatsumi noted, almost playfully. An entire year had passed since he had seen the white tower, the living tomb of the sleeping prince. His heart warmed at the thought—though not at the pale, sleeping figure he had found, but the strong, beautiful man he had become. Tsuzuki was so different than he'd expected. He was strong, determined, and above all, extremely clever.

And he had changed, too. He'd never felt so...warm. Somehow, merely being near the lithe prince made him happy. It was unexplainable, and yet made so much sense. In the back of his mind, some part of him still wanted the boy, but he'd realized that as long as they were just...just with each other, he was happy. He felt uneasy displaying his affection, worried that someone might pick up on the desires he hid away, or that, worse, Tsuzuki himself might notice. No, Tatsumi decided firmly, things were good as they were now. He was still able to take the boy in his arms, and whisper sweet words to him, watch the way his face lit up when he realized what Tatsumi was telling him.

Now, Tatsumi was planning something very sweet for his Tsuzuki. They hadn't traveled much since making their way to their little home, and he intended to change that, or at least start to. A visit to Meifu might be just the solution. It was a little selfish—the plan had come from his own desires to return home, to let everyone else meet Tsuzuki, and to, perhaps, enjoy once more the sweet, fearful curiosity Tsuzuki had possessed when they met. He admitted it to himself freely, more freely than he might have before. It was Tsuzuki's effect on him, he supposed. It was hard to keep up his shields around the younger man. Tsuzuki was so free-spirited and honest that it became hard to be anything less than the same with him.

Yes, he mused to himself as he caught sight of his dearest companion returning from whatever it was he'd chosen to do that day. They'd both changed so much. When Tsuzuki jumped playfully into his arms, chattering incessantly about everything he'd seen, he just smiled. So many things had remained exactly the same, too.


Tsuzuki was, quite literally, in Heaven. At least, he was in something very much like it. The grass was thick and dark green, the sky blue and painted with wisps of cloud, and the trees tall and ancient. He remembered, faintly, walking through these very woods when he first awoke, but everything seemed much more frightening then. They had three whole days to travel through this beauty. Tatsumi wanted to go back home, and this time, he'd invited Tsuzuki to come with him.

The thought stirred up memories. The last time, Tatsumi had been so...abrupt. Tsuzuki had been so sure he'd done something wrong, and the idea scared him senseless. The moment he heard the familiar steps at their door he'd last himself, wanting nothing but to have Tatsumi back with him. The feeling of being wrapped up, safe and warm, in his arms was like nothing else in the world. It felt so good, so familiar, so...natural. He couldn't quite remember how he'd ever survived without Tatsumi, except that the world was a much more lonesome place. It seemed to him that he'd woken up in Tatsumi's arms one day, and all the rest was some terrible nightmare he'd dreamed up, but no...the scars, dark and accusatory, lay in front of him every day. Some nights he would awake, for no reason, and end up gazing at the bright red slashes on the underside of his hand. It was all so hazy. Pain, and blood, and something black inside him...

Tsuzuki shook his head. He'd always end up looking at Tatsumi afterwards, close to crying, trying to sleep again. Some nights, when the memories were especially bad, he'd end up lying against Tatsumi, whether he moved or the other man did. It was just...what they did. It wasn't even something they thought about. Their sleep came more easily on those nights, especially in those first winter days, when the frail firelight seemed to do nothing to alleviate the chill of the night air.

Once, though...once, right before Tatsumi had left him... That one night was especially dark and cold, for the fire had gone out. That night, for the first time, it had been Tatsumi who cried in his sleep. He never awoke, even when Tsuzuki had gotten up and walked, so afraid, to comfort him. Tatsumi had let his hand run down Tsuzuki's cheek, murmured something, and...that was it. He fell back into a calm sleep, and Tsuzuki watched him for a long time afterwards. There was something different about Tatsumi when he slept. He looked younger, more childlike. His arms were heavier than normal, almost crushing Tsuzuki in the night.

And Tsuzuki had come to enjoy that more than anything else.

He stole a glance at his companion, pretending to follow the trail of a warbling songbird. Lately, there was a sort of sadness around Tatsumi. He was always happy when Tsuzuki spoke to him, laughed with him, told him about the day...but at other times, when he'd only just arrived or caught Tatsumi unexpectedly, it was always there. It was as if Tatsumi never smiled when Tsuzuki left. It was there right now, though even Tatsumi didn't seem to realize the fact.

Gathering up his courage, Tsuzuki leaned over, taking hold of Tatsumi's reins. He pulled them to a stop in the middle of a well-lit glade, ignoring the questioning look on his companion's face. "Why?" he said softly, trying to find the right words. "Why are you so sad all the time? I did something wrong again, didn't I?"

"What?" The surprise on Tatsumi's face was genuine.

"You look off in the distance...like you're waiting for something..." Tsuzuki elaborated, trying to explain. It was just there, all the time, that look. "Like something's making you want to cry." He'd never really seen Tatsumi cry, he realized suddenly. Not awake, at any rate.

Tatsumi's eyes widened in recognition. The ghost of a smile appeared on his face. He looked lost, for a moment, then smiled again. "It's nothing, Tsuzuki. Just the wandering thoughts of an old man."

"Old?" Tsuzuki scrunched his nose. "You're not old at all, Tatsumi! I'm older than you are, anyway!"

Tatsumi just kept smiling. Mentally, he berated himself for letting his thoughts wander so long and so far. He'd only been thinking about how much Tsuzuki had changed since they first rode the path. That led to him contemplating Tsuzuki's expression, which led him to gaze for far too long at Tsuzuki's face...and to thoughts that he should have left alone. It seemed that the happier he became just being with his prince, the harder it was to forget the other sort of happiness he harbored for the boy. It was just that every time he looked into those pure, innocent eyes he felt like a criminal, trying to steal a precious treasure. He knew he'd never hurt the boy—he'd take his own life before even thinking such things—but he couldn't shake the feeling. So he was content to let his dreams stay firmly in his mind.

"So what were you thinking about?"

Tatsumi almost grimaced. He'd been hoping to distract Tsuzuki from his questions, but the boy wasn't so easily deterred. Impulsively, without thinking, the truth fell from his lips. "You," he said simply. It seemed he'd only managed to distract himself from his thoughts...

Tsuzuki blinked. "Me?" he said questioningly. He burst into a smile. "What were you thinking about me?" His sweet voice grew sweeter.

"Oh, nothing," Tatsumi replied, his voice light and playful.

Tsuzuki frowned suddenly. "But why would thinking about me make you sad?" he said, his voice just above a whisper.

"Because being with you makes me so happy." His voice betrayed him again.

Tsuzuki said a soft, "Oh," and nodded as if he understood. Not a moment later, he shook his head. "Tatsumi, that doesn't make any sense at all!!!" he whined pitifully.

Tatsumi just shook his head and closed his mouth. He was not going to let anything else slip, on this trip or any time afterwards. He stirred his horse on, leaving Tsuzuki to pout and hurry to catch up.


Tsuzuki frowned a lot lately. It was their second day of travel.All he wanted was to know why Tatsumi was avoiding him, why he looked so sad and lonely. He didn't understand, and the curiosity was killing him. He had resolved, as he lay awake the night before, to pester Tatsumi endlessly until he found out what was wrong.

It wasn't working.

Tsuzuki was positive, now, that he'd done something wrong. He'd stopped ignoring Tatsumi, hadn't he? He knew he'd really hurt Tatsumi with his misguided attempts at being strong; he'd hurt himself every bit as badly. But they'd made up. Everything went back to normal, like it had never happened. Well...Tatsumi had been more affectionate towards him, and he was more independent, but...but... Oh, he had to have done something!

He gripped the reins more tightly. It...it couldn't be that... The white handkerchief rustled along his wrist. He never took it off if he could avoid it. Covering up that blackness with Tatsumi's affection soothed his mind and his heart. What if...

"Asato?"

Tsuzuki was close to tears, and he didn't even realize it.

"Asato? Are you alright?"

There were so many reasons... Why hadn't he seen...?

"Asato!" Tatsumi leaned over and grabbed Tsuzuki by the wrist, his hands holding fast around the pale fabric. He jumped gently off of his beast, holding tightly to the soft flesh.

"What is it?!" Tsuzuki shouted finally, salty tears stinging his eyes. "Seiichirou, just tell me what I did to hurt you so much!"

Quite abruptly, he found himself falling. But the alarming sensation faded quickly as his feet lightly touched the ground. Tatsumi was holding him, so tight he could hardly move.

"Asato...Asato, listen to me!" He whispered fiercely into the younger man's ear. "You didn't do anything wrong, I swear to you."

"Then why? Why do you look at me like that?" Tsuzuki cried out just as roughly, his voice hoarse and thick.

"Because I love you, Asato."

Tears stopped as the young prince realized that Tatsumi didn't hate him, but the relief faded quickly, replaced with confusion. Tatsumi kept talking, warm puffs of air against Tsuzuki's ear and cheek, but he wasn't listening. Something felt very wrong. The way he said the words, so full of emotion... Oh, God...

"Asato?" Tatsumi paused again, his eyes unsure. Tsuzuki had never seen him like that before. A stab of pain shot through him. It would only be harder...

Tsuzuki swallowed audibly. "Sei...Seiichirou..." he whispered. His voice stopped working properly. "...I...I..." He was almost trembling. It was so hard to say the words...but Tatsumi's reassuring smile, still tinged with sadness, gave him courage. "I know...it's important but..." Helplessly, he looked straight into those soft blue eyes, finding some sort of comfort in their depths. "I don't understand."

The look on Seiichirou's face was, for a moment, something like shock, or horror. He burst out laughing, but it was harsh and cold laughter.

Tsuzuki stared at him, surprised by the reaction. "Please...Seiichirou," he said as seriously as he could. "Explain...? Tell me, please."

Still chuckling, Tatsumi's expression changed into something like pain. "It's all I deserve," he mumbled, half to himself. "He doesn't even understand..."

"Seiichirou!" Tsuzuki snapped, angry and embarrassed. "I want to know! Tell me, please..."

"You can't!" Tatsumi snapped back instinctively. "You can't just explain 'love,' Tsuzuki!"

"But I want to know!" Fighting to old back his sobs, Tsuzuki's mind broke, and poured out all the pain, everything he wanted to hide so badly. "I don't know anything! All I knew was cold stone and an empty bed and loneliness until hated it so much I wanted to die! You know what I did, Tatsumi!" In the heat of his anger, he tore off the delicate white handkerchief, exposing the jagged red scars of his wrist. "And now I find out that I'm causing the only friend I have to suffer, and I can't even figure out how to stop it because I don't know anything!" The hot tears were pouring out, flooding his face and his mind. "I hate this. I hate myself! Why did you even bring me here, Tatsumi! You are a devil, for not letting me die in peace!"

Tsuzuki fell to his knees, desperately wrapping his arms around himself. How much he hurt...how terrible he felt... He'd tried so hard to forget...and Tatsumi was so kind that he almost could.

"Oh, Tsuzuki..." The briefest, barest whisper before he was taken again into a haven of strength and warmth. "Tsuzuki..." There were no words. In the depths of his heart, he felt neither anger nor sorrow. No...he was so sure now. He'd never loved Tsuzuki more than in this instant—not when he first saw him, or when he first smiled, or even that beautiful time when they'd realized how much they truly needed each other. "A...Asato," he whispered, seeking some familiar ground between them. Tsuzuki made a soft sort of moan, but buried his face deeper into Tatsumi's shirt. "I can...I can try to explain...if you want me to..."

Those bright violet eyes caught his. Tsuzuki was shaking, shivering in his arms, and he held him close, tighter. He opened his mouth, but his voice had deserted him. "...p...pl..." he struggled. "Please?" The hope in his voice was sweeter than any sin.

"Mmmm," Tatsumi murmured. Emotions were such terrible things, he mused silently. Terrible in a way, wonderful in a way, and such trouble. He had no doubt that Tsuzuki was telling him the truth, but the task was so monumental. It had been hard enough to merely say the words, but to have them fall on deaf ears... It nearly broke his heart.

"Love is..." How to start, how to explain, he knew not. Pausing, he tried to find some sort of meaning in the feelings he had for the younger boy. "...so wonderful," he finished lamely. "It's what I feel whenever I'm with you...holding you...talking to you..." He paused again. Anything was easier than this task, even saying the precious, secret words a thousand times over. "Everything is different when you're with them. It's so wonderful and yet...so scary..." The violet eyes peering up at him, red-rimmed and still a little frightened, comforted him.

"It's like...when you're with that person you... It's like the grass is greener or the light shines brighter...and the music is so much more melodious."

He stared into those sweet eyes, finally finding an anchor, something to keep him steady.

"It makes you happier than anything in the world to see them smile and laugh...and sadder when you see them cry... It wounds you, deep in your heart, to see them hurt even a little bit..."

He struggled, finally understanding the true meaning of the word. Those sweet, owl-like eyes urged him on, spellbound and glassy, listening with more than his ears.

"And all that matters in the world is..."

Those sweet lips, suddenly so close...slender limbs entwined in his...his warmth, his scent...and the wide, so innocent eyes...

Tatsumi gasped, as if his breath had left him, and forcefully turned away. His stomach clenched painfully. He would have...he wanted to...but he just couldn't. Not until he knew Tsuzuki understood. Not until he knew, in his heart, that Tsuzuki truly loved him back.

Tsuzuki was almost motionless, but he finally shook his head. "I...I need to think about this," he said softly, pushing himself abruptly to his feet.

Tatsumi nodded, trying to catch his own breath. He knew how close he'd been to doing something he knew he'd regret, and it frightened him. Despite that, he couldn't help but let out a small smile as Tsuzuki wandered clumsily to the shade of a large, old tree. He loved the boy so much that he didn't even care anymore. Even if the words failed him, he knew in his heart that he could show his Asato love in a way no one else ever could.


Tsuzuki watched as Tatsumi clumsily pulled the horses into a nearby field, tying them up securely. He virtually collapsed under a tree at the edge of the field. He lay still for so long on the dark, damp earth that Tsuzuki was sure he'd fallen asleep. He wasn't surprised; he felt the same urge himself. So many...things were floating around in his mind.

He looked around, trying to make sense of what he'd heard, what he'd felt so strongly in Tatsumi's words. The grass...greener? He'd never really seen grass until Tatsumi took him outside. He'd never even thought to see what the color was, or how it changed, if it even changed at all. The light? The sun was starting to set, and it was getting darker. Tsuzuki wanted to do something, anything, to alleviate the pain he felt. He knew, in his heart, that the word meant something, something he had to know. He was equally sure that Tatsumi really couldn't explain it to him. Tatsumi...

He was still laying there, his long legs crossed, his face buried in his arms. Tsuzuki remembered the day they'd met—it was the last time he'd ever seen Tatsumi so peaceful. His memory was blurry, but he definitely could see Tatsumi's face. The startled, pained, yet smiling face. The warmth he'd never known from his own thin body. The feeling of the rough material of the coat, pressing his own silken shirt deeper into his skin. The first soft tones of his voice, urging him not to cry, but to walk again. And...

It seemed to him that his first memories were different. It was as if something more had happened that he couldn't recall. He remembered the almost overpowering warmth of Tatsumi's body, the strange depth of his voice, the immediate acceptance into open arms. It felt so normal, as if he'd been meant to be there. Being with Tatsumi...no, the mere thought of him made him feel happy and warm, because he always knew that, soon, they'd be together and the feelings would be real.

Tsuzuki groaned aloud, his mind tied into knots. He opened the eyes he hadn't even realized he's closed. The change startled him. It was already dark, and a large, pale moon filled the sky. Had he fallen asleep too? The moon was so bright, brighter than the sunlight, even. It cast its silvery radiance on the dark grass, alighting with tiny bits of dew to produce glimmering green jewels.

It looked like Tatsumi slept on a bed of emeralds. The moonlight lit up his prone body, made it glow, faintly. A soft gasp tore its way out of Tsuzuki's throat, and he suddenly felt... He didn't know what he felt. Tatsumi looked so beautiful...just like a beautiful doll, or a sculpture...

Tsuzuki's eyes widened. This...this was exactly what Tatsumi had said it was like! The grass was such a brilliant green, and the light was so very, very bright, despite the midnight blackness. "Tatsumi..." he whispered, like a desperate prayer. He moved more quickly than he'd ever imagined. Tatsumi made a soft noise in his sleep, like a sigh mixed with a sob. He shivered, just a little.

Tatsumi was right. It was so hard to explain this...this wonderful feeling welling up inside him. He wanted Tatsumi so much. More than those sweet cakes the baker made, or that really big icecream sundae that he had to save up lots of money to buy, or... Tatsumi shivered again, and it was much more obvious. Tsuzuki laid himself out next to the older man, frowning as he realized he was too small to hold all of him. Tsuzuki snuggled up as close as he could, and he shivered too, finally realizing how cold it was. He looked up into his love's face, and he remembered. For the first time, he recalled what had truly woken him from his sleep.

The gentle, sweet touch...so much more intimate and knowing than he'd ever felt in his life...

The touch that spoke of knowing everything, without even meeting...

The warmth that filled his heart, ablaze in the body of another, and channeled, with barely cloaked intensity, into a brief, bare touch...

With infinite tenderness, the prince leaned up and gave his first kiss to the sleeping man, trying to recreate the instant that had been enough to bring him back from death. Tatsumi was sweeter than chocolate, he thought to himself, smiling as he felt the sleepy response to his kiss. His own weariness suddenly overtook him.

The world blurred, suddenly filled with white light. Tsuzuki blinked away the soft tears, the first tears of happiness he'd ever shed.


Tsuzuki awoke with the sun high in the sky, held tightly against a warm body and bouncing ever so slightly from the rhythmic gallop of the horse beneath him.

"Awake at last..." Tatsumi whispered in his ear.

"Yeah," Tsuzuki said softly, his voice rough with sleep. "Seiichirou," he said, smiling at the warmth of his love's name. Smiling brightly, he leaned up and stole a quick kiss from Tatsumi's sweeter-than-sweet lips.

Pulling back, he noticed that they'd stopped completely. That, and Tatsumi looked like he was about to fall off their horse. Tsuzuki grabbed him firmly around the waist, looking at his companion with concern. "Sei..." he began, when Tatsumi unexpectedly pulled him close and kissed him back. Tsuzuki melted, more than a little happily, like an ice cream sundae in the face of the summer sun.

The kiss ended much too abruptly. "You're...sure?" Tatsumi whispered, the slightest hint of fear in his voice. Tsuzuki smiled, feeling as if he'd never stop. Tatsumi's voice reminded him of a bird, trembling prettily.

"I love you, Tatsumi," he whispered, hoping he was saying the words right, for once. Tatsumi's expression didn't change. "I..." Tsuzuki's voice wavered. "I love you more than those sweet cakes the baker makes!" he blurted out, his mind trying desperately to find the right words. Oh... he did really love those cakes, especially since Tatsumi had to get up so early to get one for him. But he loved Tatsumi much more, he decided.

"And more than those huge ice cream desserts in the summer!" he tried again. That was true, too. He'd...he'd be hot all summer if Tatsumi would just...understand. If he could make Tatsumi feel the way he was feeling now, he'd...

"I'd...I'd give up eating sweets for you, Tatsumi!" he said desperately.

Tatsumi's eyes narrowed a bit. "Would you...?" he said, in a voice so soft the wind himself could carry it away effortlessly.

"Really!" Tsuzuki nodded his head 'til he was dizzy. "I...I would..."

Tatsumi pulled him close, startling the younger boy. "But I don't want you too, Asato," he murmured, the words warm against his ears. "I love you too. I want you to be happy."

Tsuzuki blinked. His eyelashes were long, and they fluttered cutely whenever he blinked in just that way. Tsuzuki was so...precious, Tatsumi thought to himself. He leaned down to capture those soft, sweet lips again, silencing Tsuzuki's questions. Tatsumi's hand grasped his own, sliding down to the slender wrist. He somehow undid the small knot, and the makeshift bandage fluttered down to the ground. He unwillingly broke their kiss, raising the slender limb to his face. Before Tsuzuki's hazy eyes, too stunned to object, he kissed the scarred, rough skin tenderly. He hated the scars, in his own way, as much as Tsuzuki did, but he loved the boy far too much to care about the past.

Tsuzuki gasped, and when Tatsumi realized the reason, he couldn't help but smile. The pure, snow-white flesh before him looked as if it had never been hurt at all. The wide-eyed look Tsuzuki was giving him made it evident that he thought it was Tatsumi's doing. But deep in his heart, Tatsumi knew that it was really Tsuzuki's own strength that had, finally, overcome the ghost of his past. He whispered, gently, "Now you'll never need to go searching for angels again."

Violet eyes lit up, fire-bright. He understood. "No, never..." he whispered back, leaning into the warm embrace waiting for him. "Not when I already have such a wonderful angel waiting right here."

The sun shone brightly on the entwined pair, the road ahead long and bright after the darkness of the night...


Hope everyone like this second part! Sorry for being so late, my dear readers. Please send all complaints to the school district of Stockton, CA, for filling my life with so much homework. ;)