Author's Notes: Like it? Hate it? Tell me. I don't own anything…except for my beautiful black swingstar tama drum set.

Pheonixtamer150: Thank you for responding. I'll refer to them by their bodies. BTW-I was confused when writing the first way, too. Haha.

Chapter 12

"Hermione?" Harry asked. They were sitting at their house table in the Great Hall, happily munching on some chocolate…especially Hermione. She was ravenously attacking a bar of dark chocolate with almonds. "Hermione?" he called again. "HERMIONE GRANGER!!!" he finally yelled.

"Huh?" Hermione turned to face him, with a mouthful of chocolate. "Whdouwanmtrngchoate!"

"Huh?" Harry responded, confused and grossed out at Hermione's newfound 'eating habits.'

"Obldyhl!" (Oh, bloody hell!) Hermione grumbled and gulped down the rest of the chocolate bar. "I said," she snapped. "What do you want I'm trying to eat my chocolate?!"

"Oh, right." Harry was a little slow, still attempting to figure out how Hermione managed such a Ron-like feat. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm tired. Goodnight." Hermione got up and walked towards the door, but not before getting Malfoy's attention, who was sitting at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was eager to get away from the table, namely because Pansy Parkinson kept shamelessly flirting with him, and, I'm sure you could imagine, it was extremely distressing and disturbing.

"Goodbye, all," he said, as he walked away without a backward glance, because if he'd have turned around, they would have seen his gagging face and extremely disgusted look.

"Look, we need to talk," Malfoy said, in a serious tone.

"Are you breaking up with me?!" Hermione squealed, obnoxiously. Malfoy rolled his eyes and whacked the back of Hermione's head. Bad move.

"MALFOY!!!" somebody bellowed, primitively.

"Shit!" the said, simultaneously, and winced. "It's Ron." Malfoy cringed as the name escaped his lips. He knew how overprotective Ron was…Hermione didn't know the half of it.

"Oh, it's just Weasel? I thought it was Potter, again," Hermione chuckled.

"You don't understand…do you?" Malfoy grumbled.

"The fact that Ron is about to kick my ass. He's a lunatic! He hates you beyond belief, and he's as overprotective of me as he is Ginny. Not to mention the fact that he's 5 times as strong as Harry, and doesn't have as much common sense."

"I hope your not implying Potty has common sense!" Hermione scoffed.

This entire conversation took place within six seconds, and by the time Malfoy opened his mouth to talk again, Ron had already gotten him into a headlock. As Ron was bringing his fist down into Malfoy's stomach, he caught sight of his savior and broke into a grin.

"I'll wipe that smile off your face!" Ron growled. "I'll teach you to hit Hermy!"

"Hermy?!" Hermione started to laugh uncontrollably.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, MR. WEASLEY!" Snape yelled. "Put Malfoy down and go straight to my office."

"Yes, sir," he spat. Ron, grudgingly, released Malfoy from the headlock and trudged down to the Potions classroom.

"Thanks for the help!" Malfoy said, sarcastically, while he rubbed the back of his neck, which was sore from the headlock.

"Hermy?!" Hermione gasped for air.

"Shut your trap, Ferret," Malfoy barked.

"That's 'mudblood' to you," Hermione grinned back.

"You're incorrigible. Let's go to our common room so we can talk," Malfoy suggested.

"Our common room?" Hermione asked. "Since when do you belong in Slytherin—or wait, I guess you do…hold on. I'm confused."

"You're a moron," Malfoy said, simply. "Our Head Girl and Head Boy room. Remember?"

"Oh. Right."

Author's Notes: Omg, I have something against writing long chapters. I don't know why…I've done it before…I just rather stop at all the little pauses and post. However, I have written chapters that are 10 pages long before, so I can if you want. Please tell me. Some people hate long chapters…others hate short chapters. I don't know which to do!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Chapter 12 ½

"Alright," Malfoy said, calmly, not that they were in the common room. "Here's what you have to do—"

"You're more of a control freak than I thought."

"Shut up."

"Hmmm. No."

"Fine! You can deal with your period. All. By. Yourself. Have fun!" With that, Malfoy skipped away, feeling a lot happier knowing he wouldn't have to deal with cramps or bloating or hormones or mood swings for a while.

"Wait!" Hermione called after him.

"What?"

"I—I—need your help."

Author's Notes: So much for writing a lot...

Next Chapter: Malfoy's er wait Hermione's…er….Malfoy in Hermione's body's misery.

Future Events: Malfoy's horrible life and torturing of the Hermione in Malfoy's body.