Hey there people, I just though it would be wise to kinda explain the meaning behind this poem, cuz some people don't seem to understand it.

The whole point to the poem is to say that he himself never wanted to kill, he's talking about his regret, but ya see, once he started traveling with Shishio-sama, he had to develop that cold, killer, otherwise he would have most likely been devoured by his own guilt. The poem is him thinking while he is wandering, so at this point, he's in control, because there is no need for the killer, his concense (no idea how to spell that) is free to face the realization of what he has done. But the guilt is tremendous, and in saying that the killer is waiting, it's saying that this guilt, these emotions are almost overpowering, causing him to crave for the heartlessness of the killer. He could always turn back to the kill, he could fall back onto a world without grief, without pain, a world of easy choices, without conciseness; and he is beginning to long for it back, it's always there, in the back of his mind, waiting for him to brake.